Fans beseige Shilpa Shetty's mobe Bollywood babe Shilpa Shetty has described herself as "extremely perturbed" after a Indian fan got hold of her mobile number and emailed it to all and sundry, with inevitable results. According to AP, the 32-year-old thespo "was swamped with hundreds of calls" and SMS messages following the leak. Her publicist Dale Bhagwagar …
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They ought to pass that mobile number on, as a public service, to some housebound but mentally fit and imaginative Mrs Kumar type, who will only be too happy to be called up by lots of randy young males.
"Why yes, of course you can come round on a date, young man, I have nothing else planned. No, there is nothing wrong with my voice, we must have a bad connection."
Or they could lend this auspicious mobile out to womens' social clubs, to be passed around for the enjoyment of all.
"I say, Mrs Chandra, do not Bogart that shettyphone."
Come to that, Ms Shetty will be getting a new phone now, with a number that could also be susceptible to leaking. I wonder how many fake shettyphone numbers could be leaked into circulation and how many bored women could be provided with amusement before the whole thing implodes. My guess: a lot. Everybody wins. So come on you Lovely Wobbly Randy Old Indian Ladies: purchase those handsets, send your hoax emails and have fun helping out a Bollywood star in distress. You know it makes sense.
For uttering the word 'mobe' the punishment is akin to stoning.
You will be put up against the wall and have personal communication devices hurled at you until you either die or promise to refrain from using such profane language.
Right, got it?
Anyone saying 'mobe will . .
Oi, I was only saying 'mobe' 'cos . . .
Oh, bugger
"Do not bogart that shettyphone"
Priceless.
It's an interesting thought, though: I'm almost tempted to put my own number here, just to see what would happen. I mean, I'm an average, normal nonentity of a guy with what probably amount to fairly run-of-the-mill opinions and views (especially among the select audience round here) and I can't imagine any reason why anyone would call my number if it were published, or what they'd say once they did. "Heh. Hello. Um..." would probably pretty much sum it up. Or someone would dig up some random phrase from their subconscious, so there'd probably be a couple of "millennium hand and shrimp" in there, but otherwise I'm pretty sure my mobile life would continue undisturbed.
So why do I brick myself at the very idea of actually doing it? Mind you, I'm resisting the urge to post anonymously. I'm not that scared...
We need a "pondering chinscratch" icon.
A long long time ago I was seeing a bit of an odd girl, got bored real quick and just blanked her calls... a week later my number was in the local rag under an advert "PS2 with 15 games, 2 control pads, 2 mem cards for £30" My phone didnt stop for 2 weeks. After that I changed my number and stayed away from strange south london girls.
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