Flying cow destroys minivan

A US couple had a lucky escape when a 600lb cow unexpectedly landed on the bonnet of their minivan, unsurprisingly causing "heavy damage". According to AP, Michigan-based Charles and Linda Everson were visiting the area around Lake Chelan, Washington, to celebrate their first wedding anniversary. On their way back to the hotel …

[Anonymous Coward]

Fantasic!

US Govt to force manditory psycological screening of all cattle to prevent future terrorist suicide cows.

[Robert Harrison]

Did the cow jump over the moon or was it..

...pushed?

[Anonymous Coward]

Mooooooooooo

I cannot help but think that there is a golden "far side" cartoon in here somewhere.

I wonder what noise a falling cow makes before it splashes. Oh no, I just thought of it :"Geronimooooooooo"

[Anonymous Coward]

sorry

"The cow wasn't so lucky,"

I sh-udder to think..

/coatHat

[Anonymous Coward]

Hang on!

Euthanised? It survived?????

I can see the joke brigade milking this story for all its worth already.

- The scuffed leather jacket and hard hat please,,,,

[Anonymous Coward]

Warning...

Jumped off 'without warning'.

What kind of warning would one want?

[Law]

erm

maybe it was a lemming in a cow suit???

[TeeCee]

Bright side.

I'll never complain when it's raining cats and dogs again.

[Gareth Harmer]

Oh dear..

This really is udderly ridiculous. A mooving and tragic tail of bovine ballistics. A humble creature hoofing it after teatering on the edge. One can only speculate on what thoughts were curdling in the animal's mind.

I'm sure people will be milking it for all it's worth...

[Damian Gabriel Moran]

maybe it was just an attention seeking...

emoo cow

the coat with the mittens on the bit of string through the sleeves

[G2]

imagine if it were a pig

imagine if it had been a flying pig instead of a cow... that would have made us do all the things we promised to do when pigs fly... :p

[Matt White]

hmm

well i`ve heard of a pat on the head but the whole cow is just silly :-)

[Beerpowerednoisefrenzy]

Amaters

They should've called in the professionals.

http://www.hyperactive-stage.co.uk/bovinedescenders

[Anonymous Coward]

Headline

"Extremely Rare Beef Incident Destroys Minivan"

[C]

save the DNA!!

OMG its the first bit for the cows that WANT to be killed/eaten! Just as Douglas Adams predicted!

The cows actually try to make their selves tasty and tender, and try to entice people in the restaurant to eat various choice bits!

Its unfortunate the first one fell off a cliff though.

Hey what's the Paris Hilton angle?!

[Mark W]

You can rely on Reuters...

...Middelton estimated the animal weighed 600 lbs (272 kilograms), ***or the average size of a mature cow***

Hmmm.

[cor]

Big miss-steak going down that valley

- So did the driver needed emergency 'teatment' afterwards?

- Is this just another bullsh1t story?

- Clearly is an act of Cow-ardice.

- Was it a mad cow or was it just slightly upset

- Was it playing *hide* and seek?

- Was the driver's stomach 'churned'?

- Were his knees like butter?

- Her friends dairyed her to jump.

- He'll probably have to beef up his insurance after this.

- Can't milk this one any further ...

[Mick Brennan]

Where are the pictures?

Surely there are some.

[Kevin Kilcollins]

PETA

I wonder how long it's going to be before PETA steps in and reminds us that meat can kill.

[Daniel B.]

Moooooooo

"Jumped off 'without warning'.

What kind of warning would one want?"

There was a warning, all right ... MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Which means: MOOOOOOVE OUT OF THE WAY!!!!

[bob_blah]

Re: imagine if it were a pig

Not really - the point is the cow didn't fly. It dropped. Quickly.

[cor]

Have you 'herd' these ones?

- Driver obviously couldn't 'steer' out of the way

- Witnesses stated they heard a 'long-horn' blast.

- Driver was said to be going 'hell-for-leather' when accident occurred.

- This happened in Ireland while ago. The surviving cows tried to pin trhe blame on the driver, but the authorities said it was a case of " the cattle calling the Pat black".

Ok, thank mercy I have a day job....

<coat over shoulder>

[David T Wonderllama]

What ever happened to the reg standard weights and measures?

I wonder just how many Norrises of force the falling cow would have exerted on that poor minivan....?

I will now just go get my coat

[Bo Pedersen]

its aliens again

Quite obviously a tractor beam failure from an abduction vessel! :)

[Hein Kruger]

Monty Python

"without warning"

I'm sure if they'd listened carefully they'd have heard a French sounding chap shouting "Fetchez la vache!" shortly before the cow hit them.

[Jay Roller]

Title

"Jumped off 'without warning'.

What kind of warning would one want"

How about "Mooooooooove"?

{coat is already on...}

[Jeremy]

Re:imagine if it were a pig

Except it wouldn't have been flying. As Douglas Adams rightly pointed out, flying is defined as throwing yourself at the ground and missing. Clearly, in this case, that didn't happen...

[Tim Schomer]

I Wonder..

...If this classes as roadkill (Make a hell of a barbie, pre-tenderised too)

OK,I'm off

[Chad]

Warning

Warning: CANNONBALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Pablo Barboza]

RotA?

El Reg should consider seriously open a Raise of the Animals (tm) section...

And wasn't an Apocryphal rule "pictures or it never happened"?

[Paul Stevens]

Tragic end to a love affair?

This is what happens when you take your cow to the edge of a cliff so that it pushes back harder. I wonder if they'd have published the story had there been a Farmer Jed attached to the business end of said cow?

Bye

[Spleen]

Probably too obscure even to IT readers

Police are looking for a homeless man of the name of "Eldred" who was seen in the area jabbering nonsense and waving his arms for several seconds shortly before the incident. He is of medium build and wears a dirty grey coat.

[Alistair]

don't have a cow, man

Well there's an-udder good reason for cops carrying guns.

If only they were allowed to carry flamethrowers...

[Marco]

Suicide?

Seems the state of the US cattle industry is worse than anticipated, if their cows already jump off cliffs.

[PHUQUE]

GOT MILK?

With that couple it's probably just one thing after an udder.

[Alan Gregson]

Old rhyme

Little bird flying high

dropped a message from the sky,

Angry farmer wiped his eye

thanking God that cows can't fly.

Oh shit, they're making a good attempt at flying, they just need to learn how to miss the ground. The trick is to get distracted just before you hit.

[A. Lewis]

Perhaps...

http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/moo

That is all.

[Anonymous Coward]

Obviously

...the cow wasn't on the no fly list.

[Rik]

Notice it didn't so much fly as plummet.

No noticeable improvement over sheep.

[Anonymous Coward]

Coat on, leaving now...

This is the most amoosing story I have read in ages!

[Sampler]

Full live action Spamlot rehersal gone awry

Or did he just drive into it as he was too busy arguing with the wife and then claim it fell so he could claim the insurance...

[Tim Lane]

Run Away!

Run Away!

[Steve]

No Fly List

Looks like they need to add an udder name to the list.

[Matt White]

Pfft

Just found this link :

http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/artikkel?Dato=20071106&Kategori=NEWS05&Lopenr=71106039&Ref=AR&Show=0&imw=Y

Should have sent Lester that one if only for this gem of a quote :

“It was bred for rodeo,” Harris said. “It was not your normal cow in a field.”

No shit sherlock! :-)

[John Walker]

Were there no bovine shrinks available...

.. to per-suede the cow no to jump?

[Luther Blissett]

Can't be that uncommon

Pedant alert.

Must happen quite frequently in Tornado Alley, no?

[Jason]

"Cow launched"

Earthworm Jim would be proud of this effort.

[Jason Harvey]

patties

I wonder if they were scared "cow patty"-less

got coat

[Paul]

Al-Mooeda?

We're really screwed if the suicide squirrel brigade hook up with the cattle and exchange tactics.

Imagine how much worse this would have been if the cow had figured out how to set itself ablaze *before* aiming itself at the van...

[Anonymous Coward]

Conversation right before the impact

"Dear..." "Yes, sweetheart?" "What if my mother came to live with us?" "Oh, yes, when cows fly!"

Whaaaaam!

"Ups..."

[regadpellagru]

Sperm whale from Hitch hicker's guide to the galaxy ?

And what about the last thoughts of the beast ?

Maybe, like in Douglas Addams' famous book, something like "Oh, what is this object coming at very high speed ? Big, brown. I wonder if we'll be friend." or more "hmmm, this van seems to come very fast, maybe jumping off the cliff wasn't the brighest idea ..."

[Kurt Guntheroth]

pictures? you bet!

http://www.komotv.com/news/local/11051816.html

http://www.king5.com/localnews/stories/NW_110605WAB_falling_cow_hits_minivan_JM.1e34a65e4.html

Yup, Seattle weather sucks. Rains all the time. This. however, is slightly unusual.

[Anonymous Coward]

Clearly...

Clearly the cow put too much faith in the Red Bull ads. Or was the cow on LSD?

[Anonymous Coward]

Murder!!!!111ONEONE

This could have been a murder attempt! The police should be checking his facebook account to see who's been throwing cows at him!

Mines the blue one give me my scarf too it's gone chilly....

[Mike Holden]

Still on the DA theme...

... maybe its last thoughts were "Oh no, not again."

[greg]

Falling cow sign?

They obviously didn't see the sign...

http://www.yoclan.com/images/Misc/falling_cow.jpeg

[Rick Brasche]

the next step:

"We drop an enormous wooden badger!"

[Pierre]

Best kicker ever!

"Thanks to Matt White for the tip-off."

Icing on the cake!

[Mike Moyle]

Could have been worse...

...imagine if the bull hadn't pulled out in time!

[Anonymous Coward]

As per Dog Soldiers, did they break radio silence?

"I am not about to break radio silence just 'cos you lot got spooked by a dead flying fucking cow!"

[dave]

Please only use Reg units

200 feet? What is that?

Methinks el Reg needs to create a new unit of measurement here.

Perhaps this would be a good opportunity to delve a big deeper into other physical dimensions, such as velocity, momentum, things like that.

[Anonymous Coward]

The couple was saved by

an act of Bovine Intervention...

[Joe Stalin]

If proof was needed..

Evolution in action, This cow is obviously the first of a new speices of flying mammal, OK a failed first step but more will follow, pigeon poo will look like heaven after this.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re:Earthworm Jim would be proud of this effort.

Damn it Jason you beat me to it...

All the residents of Turlock would be proud

[norman]

Monty Python?

When the cow hit; did someone comment the drivers mother smelt of Elderberries.....

[Michael]

oblig Hitchhiker's Guide reference...

Hello, ground!!

[Brian]

Moo game...

Maybe it is a varient on the Moo Game.... ?

[Anonymous Coward]

honey

Mad cow getting very messy - the paris hilton connection is strong.

[Fluffykins]

That's the end of the moos.................

.........and now the weather.

[John Dougherty]

The case against

. . . cow tipping was never clearer.

Jacket please.

[Scott]

@Jeremy

Actually it did meet the technical Douglas Adams definition of flying.

"flying is defined as throwing yourself at the ground and missing"

and technically by collecting a mini van rather than the ground it did 'miss' the ground

[Finn]

Is this what....

Is this what they call GM-Food, or was the van a Ford?

[Nick]

Extreme Cow Tipping?

I had thought that the X-Games had denied the addition of Extreme Cow Tipping to their agenda.

I believe there is a franchise opportunity here, if only we could find a celebrity to host the TV series and front the computer game off shoots.

[Anonymous Coward]

Mooston, we have a problem

Why was this cow teatering on the edge of a cliff? Was it looking to have a mooving experience or is there an udder reason? Maybe it was on the horns of a dilemma which would render the horns inoperable and hence no warning being given?

Trying to put coat on but this damn straitjacket makes finding arm holes difficult.

[Steve]

What everyone seems to have

missed in all the hilarity is that this Charles Everson, Jr. character continued driving for a mile after being hit by said beast.

I mean wtf! A MILE.

Maybe he was afraid another one was on its way.

Steve

[H2Nick]

Excellent story (& comments!) but do you really think the cow fell 200ft ?

Saw the pics of the car from URLs in earlier comments.

Car still driveable (was the guy in shock ? why didn't he stop?)

A drop of 200ft would give a terminal velocity of around 70 mph.

I think after 600lbs of cow falling on a car at 70mph neither the cow or the car would require "euthenasing"

[Anonymous Coward]

Latin joke alert

I need a vacca-tion after reading all these comments.

[Demian Phillips]

One fott in the grave.

"he'd been reduced to repeating: "I don't believe this. I don't believe this.""

I think we have identifed the American version of Victor Meldrew.

[DrDimentico]

Kurt, your geography sucks

"Yup, Seattle weather sucks. Rains all the time. This. however, is slightly unusual."

For those without the benefit of (or wherewithal to use) google or mapquest, Manson is 300 km east of Seattle, over a mountain range, at the edge of a high desert plain. Definitely not pacific maritime/Seattle climes.

Most travellers in the area are accustomed to "danger: falling rocks" signs, which I hope will be humorously vandalized to commemorate this event.

[John Benson]

Talking Dog Experiment Partially Successful; Table Service Gone Missing

'Nuff said.

No, wait!

"England Threatened By Medieval French Terror Weapon Technology, Trojan Rabbit Upgrade In the Works"

In a secret weapons test gone horribly awry, a French MIRV (Mooing Intercontinental Re-entry Vehicle) went off-course and failed to respond to the self-destruct signal from Mission Control in Le Havre. On learning that the French had violated treaty obligations by resuming development of this terror weapon, MOD vowed to counter it with a hovercraft version of the venerable Trojan Rabbit. When confronted with the damning evidence, a French military attaché threatened gas warfare "in your general direction".