back to article Cops coax half-naked Czech wolfman from Cardiff tree

Cardiff cops launched a "major operation" yesterday after a half-naked Czech man climbed a tree, began "crying and howling like a wolf" and then refused to come down from his perch. Police moved swiftly to seal off the tree on the corner of Cathays Terrace and Maindy Road after local resident Martin Townley, 43, alerted them …


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  1. breakfast Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    It is a very good headline...

    Good as the headline is I don't think it quite matches up to "Cops Cuff Burning Burning Man Man". That is my favourite headline ever.

  2. Wile E. Veteran


    Did they call in the crew from Torchwood in case it might be something other than a soon-to-be-canceled Czech?

  3. Joe Blogs
    IT Angle


    <-- ? Well?

  4. James
    Paris Hilton

    @ Wile E. Veteran

    Why would they call in Torchwood? They were trying to keep his trousers ON!

  5. Risky


    Where's the sheep angle? (icon req'd)

  6. Neil

    Misread the title

    I thought it said "woman" not "wolfman". I was quite disappointed.

  7. Dan

    I doubt whether,

    "Love triangle kidnap pampernaut preps wingnut defence

    Nowak team cites neck-up checkup",

    could be beaten.

  8. Anonymous Coward

    American werewolf in Paris..

    Czech Werewolf In Cardiff, a 'Valleywood' project maybe?

  9. Graham Wood

    Where's the pics?

    I really don't want to see them, but surely for the sake of PC and equality there should be the request?

  10. Ian Rogers

    Keep the Mini

    Cardiff cops cuff chest baring wannabe werewolf bough balancing Czech

    Fuzz finger furry Czech tree climber

    Tree Topping Welsh Werewolf is (un)balanced Czech

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Not the best

    Sorry, Lester. "Bubbly billy-goat bursting boffinry brouhaha at MoD" is still the top headline in my book.

  12. Philip Marshall

    @ James

    //Why would they call in Torchwood? They were trying to keep his trousers ON!//

    According to the Telegraph, the man did try to take his trousers off while in the tree.

  13. Mac

    more concerned about the road

    this seems symptomatic of a growing endemic in the UK. Why close the fuppin road for one fuppin nut up a tree! The next overly officious little sod that damns (sic) our transport network for no good reason should be tied to the nearest high street and used as a speed bump.

    Plus the fuppin nut just wants attention, fiver says if people just ignored him he'd get bored after a while and go elsewhere. If not, I've seen how they get big dumb animals down from trees on the discovery channel. Trampoline and a tranquiliser gun. For an added bonus film it for 'You've been framed' and use the money to buy engraved bullets for the worthelss road-closing meatsack!


  14. Anonymous Coward


    ...Werewolf in Cardiff

    Actually I can see now why Warren Zevon didn't go with that idea. Maybe for the sequel, eh?

  15. Luke
    Thumb Up


    Time for a "Best Reg headline, ever" reader poll? Methinks so....

  16. Alan Potter

    I can't bring myself to use the joke alert icon...

    ...I just wondered, if they'd shot him out of the tree, whether the Czech would have bounced...

    I appear to have lost my cloakroom ticket...

  17. Anonymous Coward


    I for one welcome our Lupine Overlords

  18. Ryan

    "Cops coax naked Czech woman from Cardiff tree - pictures"

    I think that would be better.

  19. Jiri Cermak

    Serious attempt at that Mini, straight from Prague

    Title: New communication protocol fails to impress cops in Cardiff

    Sub: Czech back, howl no good


    Email me for delivery adress of the carkeys.

  20. Rich Le Cropane

    ...and my hat, too.

    "Lycanthropic Czech Banks on Cardiff Branch--Avoids Full Moon"

  21. number-g

    I wonder ...

    ... if this has anything to do with the abundance of psilocybe semilanceata toadstools in that locality at this time of year.

  22. James

    @ Philip Marshall

    It said he tried to take his trousers off in the Reg article too. That was actually why I thought I'd make a kind of "joke" around the perception that there's so much shagging in the popular television series "Torchwood," which is also based in Cardiff, which is where this story originated. Trousers are long tubular garments used to clothe the lower half of the body, usually removed or at least loosened in the act of sex. Poland is an Eastern European country. Trees are the large brown things which have leafy green bits at the top for most of the year, but not right now.

    If there's anything else in this article that goes completely over your head, do be a love and keep it to yourself.

  23. Bad Beaver
    Black Helicopters

    I read correctly...

    ...that you cannot even climb a tree in the UK anymore without someone calling the cops? Or was it all due to the nekkidness?

  24. Anonymous John

    If they'd used a taser

    I suppose it would have needed silver electrodes.

  25. Jon Green

    Open fire!

    Big deal. I thought it was the time of year for nuts to fall from trees, anyway.

    (Title reference: chestnuts.)

  26. Anonymous Coward

    not as concise as the New York Post classic

    "Headless Body in Topless Bar"

  27. Mike Moyle


    "Cops Wrap Up Bad Czech Howler in Welsh Rare Bit"

  28. Steven Walker

    Too predictable

    In a place like Cardiff you tend to expect that sort of thing. The headline would have been much better (if less accurate) if it read:

    Cops coax half-naked Czech wolfman from Godalming tree

  29. J

    Re: Misread the title

    Same here, damn...

  30. Anonymous Coward

    Hmmm, next time the fuzz ...

    tell me they have to prioritise, and protection of life and limb comes first, I'll have to see if I can find any half-naked one-legged dancing Lithuanians for them to protect round here.

    Meanwhile, one of my favourite headlines had to be the one that read "Foot Heads Arms Talks". Work it out (some knowledge of UK political history will help).

  31. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Thin end of a sad sad wedge

    If they'd left him there, we might be a few grey squirrels down by now. As they've closed a road once for a nut in a tree, expect many more such incident until they've cut down all the horse chestnuts.

  32. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    and we can expect many more ....

    romananians, bulgarians,albanians and many many more such people climbing our trees as they come to this Country and find we do not have enough houses for ourselves let alone them. Am I allowed to say that ???????

  33. Anonymous Coward

    Stop stop stop!

    No more puns, no more alliterative titles, I have to breath your killing me (searches for rescue inhaler).

  34. Paul

    best headline ever from the reg?

    "My Internet love is a corpse-hoarding granny"

  35. Adrian Esdaile

    6,500 injured by flying glass

    It's not big, it's not clever, but for some reason I would love to see it.


  36. Anonymous Coward


    ""When I shouted at him a bit to try and tell him to be quiet, he said ‘that’s a bit inappropriate’."

    Clearly, a dangerous man on the verge of snapping. I wonder exactly how that plays out in your head:

    "Awwoooo! Awwoooooo!"

    "Hey, keep it down, you lunatic."

    "Well, blimey, mate, that's a bit inappropriate then innit? Maybe have a cuppa. ... ... AWWHOOOO! WOOOAAAWOOOO!"

    Can't really see it. I guess that's why I don't go up in trees half naked and howl.

  37. Ben

    At Last .....

    my chance to win a metro ...........

    "Skolar claims tree in Praguematic response to homelessness."


    did i win , did i win ?

    look if i did win , y'know if there can be any doubt ?

    can i have a beige one ( i think it was called "sahara gold" )

    smashing .

    'Ere , dont be moaning about the sponging immigrants.......

    they just aspire to the lifestyle of those who "run the country"

    using pretty much the same methods........but it doesn't

    bother me because i have a new Metro , ah , safe

    in my little bubble , Oui , le Sahara Gold est tres chic n'est ce pas.

  38. Eric Pinkerton

    Czeck Wearwolf in Cardiff?

    Where can I buy the movie rights?

    Good job he wasn't a wolf in Sheeps clothing though!

    Coat - Czeck

    Taxi - Czeck

  39. Michael Mounteney

    also more concerned about the road


    Yes, I was wondering as well why the police farce always have to act like complete tarts in these situations. They just seem to get their jolley by closing down roads, and transport systems in general, at the slightest provocation. Two juicy examples come to mind:


    Was this dopehead killed on the tracks ? Nope. So why couldn't the police just require trains not to stop at that station ? Not dramatic enough, obviously.

    2. When the M25 fuel price protests were on, the Police helped by prohibiting car traffic from using the outside lane `to keep it free for emergency services'. That was just SO helpful, wasn't it ?

  40. Astarte

    "Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a tree," "Just stand there and I'll give you a Czech-up."

    I'll call a taxi - you get my goat.

  41. Steven Foster
    Gates Horns


    Crazy people. Made me smile anyway.

  42. Bill Fresher

    My attempt

    Cardiff Cops Collar Crap Covered Crying Czech Cuckoo.

  43. Mike Bremford Silver badge

    Wales Cops Check Czech Werewolf Wails

    My tongue hurts.

  44. Chris

    How many Czechs would a Welsh cop check if a Welsh cop could check Czechs?

    I'm already in my coat thanks...

  45. Gower

    @ David Wiernicki

    knowing Cardiff, it would probably of been more like

    "What the F*** are You doing You *U**ing *u*t? You Better F*** **f before I Kick yer F**king Head in F***ing T**T"

    at which point the Czech would have snapped out of his Mushroom induced trip to respond

    thats a bit inappropriate isn't it?

  46. One-armed Freddy

    A bit rich

    It's a bit rich for a half naked wolfman in a tree to be telling people what is and isn't inappropriate. Maybe he needs to take a look at himself.

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