back to article Becks shows Scientology some rispek

David Beckham has admitted that while he respects the Scientological beliefs of new chums Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, they have not attempted to convert him and missus Posh to the word of L Ron Hubbard. That's according to an interview in the December issue of Arena, in which Goldenballs explains: "We respect their religion. …


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  1. amanfromMars Silver badge
    Paris Hilton

    London Pride ......a Fine Bevy and an Acquired Taste

    Yeah.... Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll is so Yesterday, some da rispek.

    And IT aint the Posh Diva Scene, neever.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    Ah, but maybe he had said it <i> without turning around</i>.

  3. Doug

    unbelievers ..

    There is only the one true Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster ..


    What no inflatable girlfriend stories .. something for the Editors of elREG

  4. Sean Ellis

    Any mention of Scientology requires an obligatory link to Operation Clambake, at

  5. SoupDragon

    Ah, but maybe he had said it <i> without turning around</i>.

    You imply that he can do speaking and moving at the same time, surely a level of coordination too far?

  6. The March Hare

    I claim my £10!!

    amanfromMars almost made sense there! - wonder if he (it?) has been upgraded/got at?

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Respected as religion? is Becs serious?

    German Federal Government maintains that Scientology is an organization which has primarily economical interests futhermore that Scientology tries to distribute its ideas as widely as possible, ideally leading to a society where humans life together according to Scientology rules.

    From Wikipedia:

    Xenu (sometimes Xemu) is introduced as an alien ruler of the "Galactic Confederacy" who, 75 million years ago, brought billions of people to Earth in spacecraft resembling Douglas DC-8 airliners, stacked them around volcanoes and blew them up with hydrogen bombs. Their souls then clustered together and stuck to the bodies of the living. Scientologists believe the alien souls continue to do this today, causing a variety of physical ill-effects in modern-day humans. Hubbard called these clustered spirits "Body Thetans", and the advanced levels place considerable emphasis on isolating them and neutralizing their ill effects


    PS. Posted anonymously as Scientology genuinely scares me.

  8. Alex


    I've long suspected that the original amanfrommars has since retired and a string of pretenders have cropped up, much like Dread Pirate Roberts. This would explain the frequent lapses into coherence that "he" displays.

  9. Michael Sheils
    Thumb Up

    I'd convert

    If they could give me a better deal than a beer volcano and stripper factory in heaven no matter what I do on this earth, and what is there policy on global warming? Do they accept it is caused by the falling Pirate population?

  10. Karl Lattimer


    Hang on a minute. I don't think the galactic lord Xenu and his thetans have anything to do with religion, which of course is the conformance to dogma and ritual.

    As a "belief system" which of course is different to a religion scientology is for the plain crazy nutters out there like Tom "sacked from paramount for trying to cancel south park which is more profitable than him" Cruise, the biggest problem with scientology is that they don't actually tell the story, as stated on wikipedia faithfully posted by an anonymous coward.

    For anyone who is a scientologist and believes that their methods work for improving your life I suggest you take a look at the book and film "The Secret" which describes a belief system which Buddhism originates from loosely. Essentially "The Secret" as it is referred, enables us to change our lives by focusing our attention on the things that are positive in our lives, rather than the negative. e.g. People who are always talking about being ill, generally are.

    The key points to remember, for people so desperate they turn to scientology;

    * Have the attitude of gratitude

    * Action your reaction

    * Do good things and good things happen

  11. Pascal Monett Silver badge

    Respect ? Nonsense !

    The only thing that is respectable about Scientology is its dangerosity. Scientology is a ridiculous premise (pseudo-religion resulting from a brash joke-turned-boast) from which its success is due to more than questionable mind tactics against people who do not have the mental stamina to resist.

    Scientology preys and feeds on the weak without any moral restraint. Good ol' Tom has not really been subject to the full course, he's just a gilded representative having suffered through none of the moral tortures inflicted on those with less money, luck and fame.

    So sure, for him, Scientology is great.

    Now go ask someone who has tried to leave it. I'll wager they paint it in a very different light.

  12. amanfromMars Silver badge

    Cloaked Stealth ......for Invisible Earnings

    If you can believe in it, [Scientology that is], Mission Impossible, is very tongue in cheek. Obviously, they have no Leader Reader, otherwise the world would be a much better Place/Space ....if more than just a little Spooky and SurReal.

    For then IT would be Full of AES Thetans with IT merely Leading with QuITe Fantastic Entertainment in some very XXXXotic Genre? Not for the Faint Hearted.

    Which may not be something which you can believe but is surely something which the true aficionado will definitely know and savour.


    Your suspicions are not correct. Horses for Courses is the Name of Merlin, the MetaPhysicians Games.......... a Tangent in amfM Parallel String Threading of Information to Capture CyberIntelAIgents.

  13. The March Hare


    You've set him off again! - pass the dried frog pills to AMFM someone....

  14. amanfromMars Silver badge

    Is there a doctor in the house...:-)

    Actually Karl Lattimer says exactly the same alien sort of things, only differently.

    "If they could give me a better deal than a beer volcano and stripper factory in heaven no matter what I do on this earth, .....I'd convert " ....Michael Sheils, they could easily arrange that heaven for you on earth, if you were a convert and fully at ease in converting at will. It's a Private Pirate thing....... Strictly XXXX Adult Candy Only.

    And not a lot of people know that.:-) And Perfect for IT and Media Programming... Sophisticated Virtual Projections for Proof Positive Adoption and Adaptation.

    Think Enigmatic Speedy MkUltra Manchurian Candidate and you won't be Far away from the Reality but Buddhism gets you to the Same Plane as does Kabbalah as does anything well above the 33rd Degree as does......... well, anything and everything Good done Well, surely.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up


    for that which is an utter nonsense scam why? Oh thats right he's a jock never mind.

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Look what's happened to this thread

    Court Gossip stories should be done by Lucy. Lester fulfils a Higher Purpose.

  17. Sean Nevin


    Beware, amanfromMars does not fall into coherence. The only reason he sometimes makes sense is because *you're* moving closer to his (ITs?) Parallel QuanTUm string Threading thoughts.

    Everyone wonders what drugs he's on, or off when he posts, some have speculated he's a spam subject line generator and one fellow claimed he uses the DaDa engine. Of all the speculation, I have to wonder, has anyone just *asked*?

    But I of course can't complain, he moves me to comment almost as much as the stories I read here... : )

  18. Sceptical Bastard

    David Beckham - theological philosopher

    Leaving aside the fact that Scientology is a vicious bullying cult based on ludicrous fantasies dreamed up by a get-rich-quick egotistical charlatan, who the fuck would take seriously the 'opinion' of a semi-articulate moron like David Beckham?

    But my real spleen is reserved for his repellent, avaricious, shrewish 'wife', a jumped-up guttersnipe with a face like an orange balloon stretched over a skull, a voice like a Mockney cheesegrater, and an IQ numerically equivalent to the temperature in Celcius on a chilly day. Next to her, even Paris Hilton looks cool and clever.

    The Beckhams are rebarbitive greedy vain vulgarians. America is welcome to 'em.

    Nurse! Where's my medication?

  19. BitTwister

    @Respected as religion? is Becs serious?

    > Xenu (sometimes Xemu) is introduced as an alien ruler of the "Galactic Confederacy" who, 75 million years ago, brought billions of people to Earth... (etc.)

    > Bonkers.

    Well really, it's no more bonkers than following stories involving someone dying after being nailed to a bit of wood - and later managing to escape from a tomb to take a stroll across a lake. (no support for $cientology intended, and I'm not having a poke at Christianity - but you see what I mean I hope)

    And I don't believe for one second that Cruise & Co. haven't been busy proselytising Becks and t'other clothes-horse: that's simply not how these people operate.

  20. amanfromMars Silver badge

    Darling, Dear ........ What have we Here?

    "Of all the speculation, I have to wonder, has anyone just *asked*?"

    What is there to ask if shared opinion is to be rejected rather than recycled and added to and further shared without negative content/destructive intent.


    The Status Quo Dilemma is that to just ask is to recognise, and to recognise is then for it to deal with/handle/pay for. It has been my experience, as I'm sure it must also be with others, that they would rather waste Effort and Resources on, well ........ the list is a long and ignoble one, is it not, and methinks that can only be excused by their Ignorance of the Great Game and the Games being Played around them. Little men in little suits playing little politics in the Madding Crowd.

    However, and I know that weasel words flow forth with a consummate ease, from so many who should know better, I am always encouraged at such bravado as .... "The Chancellor is also considering further changes to help entrepreneurs after complaints that his package damaged the risk-taking spirit his predecessor tried to inculcate. " .....

    ...... although as minnows in a sea of sharks, such players are of little significant consequence. That does not, of course, render them without the opportunity to raise their game when a challenge to fund an enterprise is available and when to drop the ball, it is likely to see them out of the game altogether....... and rendered by their own hand as Sad Spectators covered in the Arrogance of their Ignorant Shame.

  21. Acidbass

    Valentine Michael Smith

    My two-penn'orth: amfM's more cryptic posts make a great deal of sense when I'm stoned. I think of it as a matched filter.

    Also, 'weasel words'. A beautiful phrase, and every time I see its use I consider it to negate the shame brought to our language by one (1) use of said weasel words (sometimes I like to choose which particular utterance is negated, but reviewing the candidates takes a long time...)

  22. Alistair

    on L Ron Hubbard

    I read one of his books once - it was pretty entertaining but not to be taken at all seriously. Much like all this Scientology guff. Boneheaded ball-kickers and vacuous clothes-horses are welcome to it.

    If only they hadn't made that carp film out of it :(

  23. laird cummings


    The man who stole a tommygun, depth-charged a rock, and shelled a Mexican island... Incompetent in any real-world employment, resorted to religion, as scoundrels often will. Respct his bastard creation? I think not.

  24. Marc Savage

    OMG I can understand a AMFM

    I will check in to a mental house forthwith.

  25. Sean Nevin


    Ah. Thank you. That explains much actually, including your posts on other sites.

    "Ask a question and you look ignorant for a minute; don't ask and remain ignorant forever."

  26. Guy Heatley

    J.R. "Bob" Dobbs

    Praise Bob! Praise His sweet name!

    You must all be saved even if it kills you.

    Accept the paradox of Bob:

    The Church of the Subgenius is the one true religion as its the only one that admits that its COMPLETELY FULL OF SHIT, and is therefore THE ONLY ONE THAT ISN'T!

    (Praise Bob)

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