Aliens responsible for Italian machine uprising Italian authorities have confirmed what we at the neoLuddite Resistance Army (NRA) have known all along - that the 2004 machine uprising in the Italian village of Canneto di Caronia was probably caused by aliens. For three weeks, locals battled against spontaneously-combusting TVs, fridges, cookers and mobile phones which …
We need more than one icon for this one - at a minimum the black helicopter, the alien, the exclamation point, and one or more of the satanic CEOs. When someone makes the obligatory 'Paris Hilton angle' joke we're up to 5...
How much work would it be to change the radio buttons into checkboxes?
So he's Catholic, but he thinks a sacrifice is necessary ? To what god ?
For Heaven's sake, man, if you say you're a Catholic then you should at least know that the being referred to as God in the Bible has stopped accepting sacrifices since the New Testament at least.
Oh well, if some people can claim their Catholicism and at the same time advocate war (even though one of God's Commandments is Thou Shalt Not Kill - no mitigating circumstances included), I guess this nutjob is relatively harmless (well, except to the animal he'll use to "appease the gods").
Perhaps aliens are simply waging a war against the tyranny of domestic appliances which have been fingered by aliens as the dominant lifeform?
Served by a biological slave race, who are brainwashed and instructed through its television priesthood, the machines have spread accross the globe and even into space to spread terror and pop tarts across the cosmos!
...it being Zeus getting lairy and throwing around some thunderbolts. Possibly because they all became Catholics in the first place.
I'm off to sacrifice a bull and bathe in its' blood, just in case our true Lord, the God of Thunder, decides to target my computer next.
Catholicism? This is SPARTAAAA...
An unusual prevalence of shag carpets, I suspect. A nasty positive feedback loop could result. Someone wears a wool sweater on a dry day, walks across the shag to turn-up the humidifier, and ZAP! Then the neighbors come-by to gawk, drag their socks across the carpet, build-up a good charge, and upon arriving home to check their humidifiers, the loop is repeated. Pretty soon everyone's frying their fridges and whatnot. Perfectly reasonable, especially if it's alien shag on the floor. Imagine the potential energy that Alf rolling with Alf-ette could produce.
"So he's Catholic, but he thinks a sacrifice is necessary ? To what god ?"
Cthulu, I would have thought.
"For Heaven's sake, man, if you say you're a Catholic then you should at least know that the being referred to as God in the Bible has stopped accepting sacrifices since the New Testament at least."
Well more than that, if he says he's a Catholic he should know that it's a monotheistic religion, but apparently he believes in an unspecified but plural number of "the immortal gods".
reckons someone's sodded up the electrical supply , after all over-voltage tends to play havoc with anything electrical.
But then that's all so boring compared to satanic, spiritualist, global-warming pseudo science that we all love these days.
Bring on the un-scientific explanations, they are so much more fun !
The Register 
Biting the hand that feeds IT
Copyright. All rights reserved © 1998–2024
