2012 Olympics to be 'car-free'

The London Olympics of 2012 will be the first to prohibit spectators arriving by car, according to reports. However, some 80,000 officials, athletes and accredited media will be provided with parking - and will have special Soviet-style VIP lanes on important London roads for a period of two months. The Times reports this …

[Anton Ivanov]

All animals are equal

It was a briton who said:

All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.

Nuff said, where is my coat...

[Anonymous Coward]

It doesn't matter

As I won't be going to it. Or watching it.

[Paul Kinsler]

"single point of failure"?

... clearly, someone should have read stuff like this:

Attack Vulnerability of Public Transport Networks:

http://arxiv.org/abs/0709.3206

... and constructed a network resistant to failures.

[Simon Greenwood]

...and I'm entering in the 100m monkeys flying out of my butt

I fully expect this to be diluted repeatedly until the A102 is temporarily upgraded to motorway again and Stagecoach in East London are forced to requisition every Routemaster still in running condition in the UK to run the 26 route every thirty seconds. We can't do public transport planning in this country. No-one in the bus companies cares enough to manage capacity and TFL can't do more than coercion to organise for events. If planning started now, there might be a way of doing it but pipe dreams like this are just out and out nonsense written on the back of a fag packet by some 23 year old with a degree in sports administration. And if London is bad, everywhere else, where local government isn't allowed to do anything about public transport except lie down and let First and Stagecoach do what they want, will be far, far worse. I stand corrected. The reserved lanes will be built - after all, the Coke has to be delivered without fail.

[Derek Hellam]

Well done!

Congratulations on packing all the people on to mass transit systems (do these even exist in the cities mentioned?) so lots of lovely targets for any disgruntled groups. Not to worry though you are entirely expendable. Instead of televising the games, why not just televise the transport system in the chaos it will most likely descend into, far more entertaining, spot the pick pocket, place bets on the outcome of bus rage incidents...etc

[Anigel]

rip off mayor of londonandonandonandonandonandon

Well think how it feels to be living in other London boroughs where we wont even be getting as much as longer platforms to compensate us for the council tax rip off.

The dictator of London tells us how the extra money they are conning us all out of will provide massive benefits to all of London and that the games will be profitable and all I can say is profitable for who? we wont see a single penny of this profit back so why should we pay a single penny towards it.

With the huge numbers of people who cant get to and from work in London on time at the moment because of the overcrowding on the public transport, I can only say that the idiots who believe adding an extra 800,000 people moving around London for 2 months and blocking off road lanes shows the true mental abilities of these incompetent idiots.

[TeeCee]

Confused.

So, one of the next two Olympiads will feature officials, politicians and their close friends and guests being ferried in limos to and from the games while the proletariat are forced into cattle-class, ramshackle trains and buses. Anybody not interested in or connected with the Games will be forced off the streets as well under pain of prosecution.

The Central Organising Committee has explained that this is entirely an ecological decision and nothing to do with being a bunch of control-freak, faceless, fat-arsed, fascist bastards at all.

Now, which one was in Beijing and which in London again?

[Edward Harris]

You realy believe that?

"To be fair, there is talk that the lost sports pitches will be turned back into grass afterwards"

You really believe that will happen after the chaos and cost overruns that will ensue?

They might turn it in to something else, but I'm quite sure it won't be sports fields.

[Anonymous Coward]

Lucky really

Lucky really as the mountain biking is being held in a town near where I live... The area chosen is serviced by narrow twisting lanes and surrounded by fields and Nimbys who get traffic calming measures chucked in at every opportunity.

I'll be amazed if a TV outside broadcast lorry can even make it there.

Of course the local council are proclaiming this is the best thing for the town since Salisbury's arrived, personally I'll be trying to reclaim some of my council tax money by renting out the house to Olympic enthusiasts and clearing off out of the county/country for a few weeks.

[Lickass McClippers]

This is going to be hil-hairy-arse...

"There will also be no-go areas at the watersports events in Weymouth and Portland on the Dorset coast."

I live a few miles up the road. Currently there's an on-going battle (gotta be better part of 75yr old battle) to have a 'relief road' built. The eco-hondriacs and the NIMBYs naturally don't want it; everyone else that uses the current main road in and out of Weymouth would kill their Gran to have the damn thing built. As it is, if there's going to be an influx of people expecting to get down to Weymouth the see the sailing, they're going to spend most of their time parked on the A354, sucking exhaust fumes.

And as for the 'no-go' areas, Weymouth already has plenty of them..!! Many years ago now, some comedian made an addendum to the "Welcome to Weymouth & Portland Borough" sign as you descended the Ridgeway, it read;

"Twinned with Beirut"

In every gag, there's a little bit of truth...

[Anonymous Coward]

It makes sense.

they won't need to worry about car bombs now!

[William Clark]

Can I apologise now to the rest of the World

For the fiasco the UK Olympics will be.

It will not run well - we are not good at running things - the infrastructure will not be ready or capable.

It will costs loads - much more than predicted beacause the UK is full of greedy people wanting their 'cut'

It will not even break even.

It will not revitalise the areas concerned (I work in White city which had the Olympics in 1908 - I undertstand it has been a dump before and since then and for at least the past 20 years)

Many of the best seats will be filled by people who have not paid for them - just like WImbledon and major football matches - fortunately I don't care except we all pay indirectly for corporate sponsorship and get little for it(maybe that's why many things in the UK are expensive)

Why is'nt the Olympics more like a circus which brings a resuable portable stadium where it goes rather than dumping underused expensive stadia all over the place?

On the upside, I intend to rent out my house and go on a World tour for 5 weeks (I hardly travel so my carbon footprint is banking up now) - I will just have to to keep quiet about my nationality.

[Mark Fenton]

Oh hurrah

My band's rehearsal studio is near the stadia in Manchester.

Will they let me take a 15,000W PA system on the bus I wonder?

[Robert Harrison]

Glad I moved..

..out of London when I did. Mind you, the Midlands traffic network is not much better however I'd still rather sit in the M6 car park than try my commute by train or *shudder* bus.

The London traffic network was at capacity back in 2002 (and I'm certain people will say long before that), perhaps everyone will get a flying pig to ride on for the Olympics, after all £400k for the official logo must mean the organisers have got money to piss into the wind.

[Anonymous Coward]

Weymouth and Portland

East London will have enough problems, but the transport links in Deepest Darkest Dorset are a Joke, The county has no motorways at all, very few Dual Carriageways and lots of hills choked with caravans doing about twenty. As soon as you go West of Southampton you've had it. In the summer now there are 3 mile tail-backs from where the M27 turns into the A31 across the New Forest, Then at Ringwood there is another pinch point (Where the Top Gear boys crashed their caravan in the Texaco garage) The 5 miles on from there is a 15mile stretch of single carriageway and frequent queues of 2 to 3 miles where the Dual carriageway goes to single on most days throughout the year, on the Olympic days it'll just grind to a halt. The train links are crap and as for buses from outside the area...There's an hourly service from Poole and another from Salisbury.

The Olympics'll be the biggest national joke ever, The Millennium Tent will look like a success in comparison.

[Anonymous Coward]

@Lickass McClippers

Heard a similar story:

Welcome to Worksop

Unattended bicycles will be removed

[Law]

omg

thats right, make 8 million people pack into already overcrowded systems and watch as one suicide bomber after another rips through a few thousand people in various crowds.... makes perfect sense. This has to have come from london... no chance any public transport could reach the manchester venues unless they were right in the center...

[Paul]

mass transit?

I thought this was England where we had Public Transport, not 'mass transit' - or are the games going to be the final stage of the stealth Americanisation of English culture and language?

[Matthew]

Logo

I still think of Bart and Lisa every time I see the Olympic Logo.

[Anonymous Coward]

Clearly I'm missing something...

...by 2012 the public transport in London will be so wonderfully prompt, welcoming, safe, clean and commodious that it will be able to accommodate millions of Londoners, commuters, tourists and anyone fancying the East End drugfest...

...but not so wonderfully prompt, welcoming, safe, clean and commodious that it can be used by Coe, Blair (he'll be there, stake his wife on it) and their assorted cronies.

[The Other Steve]

Well, thank the lordy for ANPR

If it was Traffic Cops enforcing the 'Olympic fat cats only' lanes, I wouldn't able to cycle in them !

[Lickass McClippers]

RE: Weymouth and Portland

Seems someone else is all too aware of how dastardly things will be down here..!! Much as I fancy going down to watch a spot of the old sailing, I know I'm not going to get remotely close to Portland harbour ... unless I hike ...

LOL @ nickj..!!

[Spider]

Just in time for the glorious 5 year plan

Don't think, don't question, don't argue. Those who know best for you have spoken. The product of the blair/brown gestalt will brook no interference as they move us forward into their utopia. Anyone who wants to have the same rights as those who govern, or privacy, or even the right to decide for yourselves is clearly a reactionary terrorist and wins a free CIA sponsored flight and holiday at a right wing dictatorship near you!

Still if the only people in cars in london are the politico/cash for honours fat cat/crony scum. then there's your targets... enjoy.

[Adam Williamson]

transit routing

"We're guessing this will be automatically generated, in fact; and given the curious quirks that routing software can sometimes display, there could be some embarrassing hiccups ahead."

Not really. Transit routing systems are far easier to run than ones for people in cars, because buses and trains *always drive the exact same routes* between the same, relatively few, stopping points. People in cars are unpredictable buggers who live all over the place, want to get all over the place, and frequently miss exits. I've used automated transit route finding services in a bunch of cities, I use the one for Greater Vancouver just about every day, and none of them has ever been wrong or misguided. I don't expect this bit of it will be a problem.

Also, buck up you bunch of pessimistic arses. I was living in Manchester for the 2002 Commonwealth Games. Fantastically well-run, popular, and good for the city - and tons of people (organizers and competitors as well as spectators) zipping around on the Metrolink. Let's give 'em a chance to get it right before sticking the boot in, eh?

[Spider]

olympics still to be held in paris?

sorry, after thought here. Anyone know whats happening to the pistol events? now we have no gun crime since the ban, and no chance to shoot competition pistol in the UK (the team train in switzerland i think) where are they going to have the competition? unless we can just re-write laws as we see fit... oops, silly me there's the answer...

of course if the team can be trusted not to carry out drive-bys when they're tooled up, what about national competitions, or god-forbid, registered shooting clubs?

[Bob]

Another reason

...not to visit the UK

[umacf24]

Who's daft idea....?

When the Olympics was mooted it seemed obvious that they were simply planning to wreck a summer by spending colossal amounts of tax revenue (raised under penalty of the criminal law) on a circus of tourists, politicians and show-offs. But reserved lanes? By what right? How shameful.

[Anonymous Coward]

New terrorism tactics

Police will likely check people's backpacks and pat them down, but will any of them have the initiative to think "Does that battery pack on that electric bike really a contain battery cells?"

[Gary]

So he was right!

I refer of course to a good friend of mine who is a South London resident and displayed as much enthusiasm for the news that the Olympics would be held there as a turkey would for Boxing Day! He said it would cost a fortune and it surely will. We have seen how well attended events to which people cannot drive are becoming. (Cardiff-new Millenium Center MIILIONS in hock and rising! Wonder why they built that new car park opposite it after declaring how green they all were!!) I echo Spiders comments about gun/pistol law. I lost two pistols to that piece of ares kissing do gooder legislation. Members of my gun club were serving officers many authoriesd firearms users (as I once was.) Imagine- Here's your MP5 Mr Fuzzbottle, but put down that unsocial looking .22 revolver! Do you think we deserve this lot? Bliar Brown and Livingstone- all the charm of a festering scrotum!!!

[Dave Foster]

Green cars?

I trust that the cars using these reserved lanes will be a Toyota Prius or similar?

There won't be any Rollers or Mercs poluting the atmosphere will there?

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Green cars?

Erm I have a Merc. It runs on a mixture of diesel, kerosene and cooking oil from Makro. Pollutes a lot less than it should so would that be allowed?

[John A Blackley]

Good one!

And they say the English sense of humour is weird!

80,000 people a day. To one destination. On time. Via public transport. Via public transport organised and run by Brits. Ahahahahahahahaha!

Brilliant!

[H2Nick]

So easy spending other peoples money. EG Sheffield student games 1991

That cost a huge amount - £300 million in debt repayments

http://www.sheffield.gov.uk/?pgid=51180&fs=s

Now with PFI & other dodges, I suspect there will be huge amounts spent & hidden so the true cost of this ego trip will be very hard to find.

[Anonymous Coward]

Weymouth resident

As a Weymouth resident, I'm planning on renting out my house for the duration at an extortionate rate and buggering off abroad for a month or so. It'll be no fun for Dorset residents or visitors alike come 2012.