The first rule of Reg Club is...

OK, we all know why we're here, so let's get straight down to it. We've looked at your suggestions for the rules of Reg Club and whittled them down to an definitive eight. First up, though, let's consider a few comments which didn't make the final cut but we thought worthy of mention. Anonymous Coward complained: "Seriously, …

[Andrew Moore]

That's all well and good...

But why does www.sitpub.com redirect to El Reg??? I'm guessing it's something to do with the desire to SIT in PUB.

[Mark C]

Following Rule 8

It's 3 o'clock on Friday .... grab's coat and heads for boozer

[Anonymous Coward]

Rule 8 is wrong...

to supplement the rule "you don't talk about reg club" I'm surprised noone offered the real rule 8, which should be

"If it's your first time at reg club, you have to fight"

[Sigmund Fraud]

Zeroth Rule of Reg Club

Thou shalt not talk about rules...

[Slappy]

Where's the IT....

Nevermind, i'll get me coat

[Dan]

how utterly

disappointing.

[b shubin]

I think I got it...

it goes like so:

i shall bitchslap the trolls and feed them my coat, so as to avoid involvement in a land war in Asia between fanboys and apologistas.

oh, and i shall not talk about Reg Club out of respect for Chuck Norris's "IT angle", either (oops).

right, i'll get my grapefruit (gf) then, and be on my way...

[Anonymous Coward]

May i suggest two new rules

Hmm 8 rules ar enot enought all the major relgions are going for 10

May i suggest

Thou when making smart ass comments should allways post anonymously

Thou shall stop being a smart ass and suggest things after the compition.

As per new rules coat door

[Paul]

Rule's

What about the cardinal rule for everyone here:

Reading the rules is akin to reading the instructions, so therefore somthing beneath us?

[Roast Duck]

aint fair...

can select not more icons than one in the list from....thou shall in the hell burn for it... smaller by a bit u shud make... larger by the numbers u shud allow...

[Anonymous Coward]

Yarrr

There be pirates on the prowl if ye not follow the rules...

[Anonymous Coward]

4 Thou shalt not feed the trolls.

They're fat enough already, especially the big dumb ones in Lancashire that need forklifts to get them out of their houses.

[Christos Georgiou]

re: Rule 8 is wrong

Anonymous Coward said:

“to supplement the rule "you don't talk about reg club" I'm surprised noone offered the real rule 8, which should be

"If it's your first time at reg club, you have to fight" ”

No, rule 8 is correct. You are wrong. The existing rule 8 is actually a paraphrase of your version: "If it's your time commenting at reg club, you have to flight."

[Rick]

if at any time these rules are not followed

if at any time these rules are not followed thou shall feel the wrath of the black helecopters hovering around thoust work and home possibly the pub.....

[Neil]

The Angle of the Dangle

Well, that's a mystery solved then. All future "what's the IT Angle?" questions can be answered with "it's the angle from which the Shaolin Monks observed Chuck Norris."

Rule 8 observed.

[Anonymous Coward]

rules

Rules... Rules... we don't need no freakin rules maann.....

except the one that states all barmaids should wear nothing but high heels and hot pants and be fit as the proverbial butchers...

anyway, wheres the IT angle?

i'll get me (flashers) mac...

[Anonymous Coward]

Forgotten rule:

A vulture is fine too.

[Flocke Kroes]

Fairness and equal time

What is this rubbish about fairness and giving equal time to the opposing view? Does Richard Dawkins have to put flat earth theories on his web site? I do not see anything about the Church or Lucifer after a news report about the pope.

If I want to talk about that upstart operating system called Vista I should not have to mention that there is a tried and tested alternative that has been around since 1991.

[Scott Bartlett]

But this article itself...

... breaks the first rule of Reg Club!!

I feel a late-friday-afternoon brain logic exploding null recursion loop event occuring...

S.

[Anonymous Coward]

What about the "Fry takedown"?

If you can quote Stephen Fry to support your argument, you have hereby nuked all possible opposition and the discussion is over.

[Dan]

I don't understand

where the Paris Hilton angle is in this story.

[Matt]

Some comments

Thou shalt not try and sound like a black American R&B band, so let's ditch the word "bitchslap". What about a quote from Blackadder instead?

Can we also get rid of any reference to Chuck Norris? From a non-American point of view he's a B flick actor I've barely heard of. What was the name of the pink taxi driver in the "League Of gentlemen", now there's someone to be afraid of!

[Luther Blissett]

Prescription vs. proscription

Rules are for the guidance of the wise, and the blind obediance of the foolish.

Except if it's a sport or game. Obviously. Then it's sportsmanship that matters.

[tardigrade]

The 8th rule...

.. surely this should be.

"If it's your first time commenting at reg club, you have to talk shite."

[alan narey]

additional rules

How about :

If you are the man from mars you shall be required to post an English translation also.

Spelling and grammar need not be correct

[Gerrit Tijhof]

Most importan rule

Don' mention the BofH. He might mention you...

[Alex]

the first rule of regclub is...

thou shall always turn it off and turn it on again

[Thorin]

Hmmmm

"f thou maketh a comment, someone else shalt have always maketh it five minutes before thou."

Does that facilitate some type of time travel or precognition?

[Mike]

Leave that Garbage at the Door

Am I the only one in the world who finds absolutely nothing humourous about the "I'll get [my|me|our|] [coat|taxi|jimmy-hat] thing?

Here's a joke that barely is worth the electricity wasted on the keyboard used to type it... But I'll redeem my post by adding "I'll get my coat."

There's nothing funny about it! You're useless!

[Jon]

First time here...

Who's up for a fight?? Cum on, I'll take yer all on.. I'm hard as nail me, hard as nails!!

On the subject of trolls and fights, where's amanfrommars and what's his take on these rules?

[Tom]

Better words for "bitch slap"

I refer to the mavens of NPR (USA National Public Radio) commonly refered to as "Click and Clack". Their term is MUCH better. It is called a "Dope Slap". At times it can be self inflicted (and needs to be sometimes). Please refer to the V8 juice commercial shown on TV ([Wack] You/I could have had a V8).

[lazarus_mub]

Spotty oiks club.

I think we're getting perilously close to being one big clique!!

Actually, is there a rule about not stating the obvious? Sorry I haven't read the instructions yet. . . . .I'll check the pockets of my coat in the green room.

mub - CLUEDO!!!

[Josh]

Fools!

You forgot to specify the slightly lesser known rule to number six:

"Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line."

[Will Godfrey]

Rulz

These rules are pathetic. Look how easily they break.

[Morely Dotes]

Well, it doesn't fit anywhere else...

I've been having weird DNS issues trying to access UK Web sites all day - first the Beeb, then El Reg, and now TV-LINKS.co.uk turns up missing:

10/19/07 16:46:48 dns tv-links.co.uk

No data of requested type

(Host doesn't exist - try Dig for MX record)

Has the Department of Homeland Supremacy decided that you blokes can't be trusted, or is the .uk top-level DNS server losing its marbles?

[Captain DaFt]

One small complaint...

"6. Thou shalt not get involved in a land war in Asia."

A good rule, but isn't it misplaced? Every body knows that rule 6 is;

6. There is NO rule number 6!

Well, I rarely wear a coat, so I'll just get me cap.

[Sceptical Bastard]

I'll only ask this once more...

... having never found a truly satisfactory answer, but WHO THE FUCK is Chuck Norris? And, more to the point, why is he so revered by El Reg readers?

As to the Reg Club Rules, I am bitterly disappointed that there's no "you HAVE to fight - and fight to the death" rule. I was so looking forward to kicking the shit out of some of the trolls. Now we can't even feed them!

PS: Coincidently, I watched Fight Club again last night (it was shown on Film 4, a television channel here in the UK) and was pleased to be reminded what a great film it is. I like movie violence, me.

[Chief sub]

I'm disappointed...

Membership of Reg Club so far seems to offer no benefits whatsoever. At least with the Denis the Menace Fan Club. you got access to the jet-setting world of the rich and famous, instant introductions to a bevy of busty beauties - and best of all, a badge. These seem sadly lacking here.

[chuckufarley]

Hot Damn!

and WHOOOEEEEE!!

Cletus, check out the IT angles on that one!

[Anonymous Coward]

Reg rules ?

Should Reg rules not be akin to those for Mornington Crescent ?

If the rules are understandable they must be changed immediately.

[TeeCee]

Why....

....am I the only one here (apart from the yet-to-be-identified scrote who posted this five minutes ago) wondering why the original "rule" that sparked this whole thing off: "Thou shalt not quote Wikipedia and expect to be taken seriously." didn't make the final eight? Did it make too much sense?

Shome mishtake, shurely?

[Matt]

re: What about the "Fry takedown"?

>If you can quote Stephen Fry to support your argument, you have hereby nuked all possible opposition and the discussion is over.

--

What about if you can quote Philip J Fry, or even Dr. Zoidberg?

[Rich Bryant]

Rule 7

Chuck Norris is a big girl. No respect.

[Chris]

Rule 2

2. Thou shalt not ask "Where's the IT angle?" and not expect to be interfrastically discombobulated

coat....hat...

[Tim]

Rules of Reg Club, BBC Micro style

10 PRINT "Don't talk about Reg Club"

20 GOTO 10

30 DATA "Coat"

[Zech Lim]

What is it with the coat? I'm from Asia

If a land war happens in Asia, by virtue of geographic association and propinquity, I will likely be involved. And methinks perhaps only Asians staying in the northern regions (Korea and northwards) wear coats regularly. The rest of the continent is too frigging hot and humid.