back to article The first rule of Reg Club is...

OK, we all know why we're here, so let's get straight down to it. We've looked at your suggestions for the rules of Reg Club and whittled them down to an definitive eight. First up, though, let's consider a few comments which didn't make the final cut but we thought worthy of mention. Anonymous Coward complained: "Seriously, …


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  1. Andrew Moore

    That's all well and good...

    But why does redirect to El Reg??? I'm guessing it's something to do with the desire to SIT in PUB.

  2. This post has been deleted by its author

  3. Mark C

    Following Rule 8

    It's 3 o'clock on Friday .... grab's coat and heads for boozer

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Rule 8 is wrong...

    to supplement the rule "you don't talk about reg club" I'm surprised noone offered the real rule 8, which should be

    "If it's your first time at reg club, you have to fight"

  5. Sigmund Fraud

    Zeroth Rule of Reg Club

    Thou shalt not talk about rules...

  6. Slappy

    Where's the IT....

    Nevermind, i'll get me coat

  7. Dan

    how utterly


  8. b shubin

    I think I got it...

    it goes like so:

    i shall bitchslap the trolls and feed them my coat, so as to avoid involvement in a land war in Asia between fanboys and apologistas.

    oh, and i shall not talk about Reg Club out of respect for Chuck Norris's "IT angle", either (oops).

    right, i'll get my grapefruit (gf) then, and be on my way...

  9. Anonymous Coward

    May i suggest two new rules

    Hmm 8 rules ar enot enought all the major relgions are going for 10

    May i suggest

    Thou when making smart ass comments should allways post anonymously

    Thou shall stop being a smart ass and suggest things after the compition.

    As per new rules coat door

  10. Paul


    What about the cardinal rule for everyone here:

    Reading the rules is akin to reading the instructions, so therefore somthing beneath us?

  11. Roast Duck

    aint fair...

    can select not more icons than one in the list from....thou shall in the hell burn for it... smaller by a bit u shud make... larger by the numbers u shud allow...

  12. Anonymous Coward


    There be pirates on the prowl if ye not follow the rules...

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Jobs Horns

    4 Thou shalt not feed the trolls.

    They're fat enough already, especially the big dumb ones in Lancashire that need forklifts to get them out of their houses.

  14. Christos Georgiou
    Dead Vulture

    re: Rule 8 is wrong

    Anonymous Coward said:

    “to supplement the rule "you don't talk about reg club" I'm surprised noone offered the real rule 8, which should be

    "If it's your first time at reg club, you have to fight" ”

    No, rule 8 is correct. You are wrong. The existing rule 8 is actually a paraphrase of your version: "If it's your time commenting at reg club, you have to flight."

  15. Rick
    Black Helicopters

    if at any time these rules are not followed

    if at any time these rules are not followed thou shall feel the wrath of the black helecopters hovering around thoust work and home possibly the pub.....

  16. Neil
    IT Angle

    The Angle of the Dangle

    Well, that's a mystery solved then. All future "what's the IT Angle?" questions can be answered with "it's the angle from which the Shaolin Monks observed Chuck Norris."

    Rule 8 observed.

  17. Anonymous Coward


    Rules... Rules... we don't need no freakin rules maann.....

    except the one that states all barmaids should wear nothing but high heels and hot pants and be fit as the proverbial butchers...

    anyway, wheres the IT angle?

    i'll get me (flashers) mac...

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Dead Vulture

    Forgotten rule:

    A vulture is fine too.

  19. Flocke Kroes Silver badge

    Fairness and equal time

    What is this rubbish about fairness and giving equal time to the opposing view? Does Richard Dawkins have to put flat earth theories on his web site? I do not see anything about the Church or Lucifer after a news report about the pope.

    If I want to talk about that upstart operating system called Vista I should not have to mention that there is a tried and tested alternative that has been around since 1991.

  20. Scott Bartlett

    But this article itself...

    ... breaks the first rule of Reg Club!!

    I feel a late-friday-afternoon brain logic exploding null recursion loop event occuring...


  21. This post has been deleted by its author

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    What about the "Fry takedown"?

    If you can quote Stephen Fry to support your argument, you have hereby nuked all possible opposition and the discussion is over.

  23. Dan
    Paris Hilton

    I don't understand

    where the Paris Hilton angle is in this story.

  24. Matt

    Some comments

    Thou shalt not try and sound like a black American R&B band, so let's ditch the word "bitchslap". What about a quote from Blackadder instead?

    Can we also get rid of any reference to Chuck Norris? From a non-American point of view he's a B flick actor I've barely heard of. What was the name of the pink taxi driver in the "League Of gentlemen", now there's someone to be afraid of!

  25. Luther Blissett

    Prescription vs. proscription

    Rules are for the guidance of the wise, and the blind obediance of the foolish.

    Except if it's a sport or game. Obviously. Then it's sportsmanship that matters.

  26. tardigrade

    The 8th rule...

    .. surely this should be.

    "If it's your first time commenting at reg club, you have to talk shite."

  27. alan narey

    additional rules

    How about :

    If you are the man from mars you shall be required to post an English translation also.

    Spelling and grammar need not be correct

  28. Gerrit Tijhof

    Most importan rule

    Don' mention the BofH. He might mention you...

  29. Alex

    the first rule of regclub is...

    thou shall always turn it off and turn it on again

  30. Thorin


    "f thou maketh a comment, someone else shalt have always maketh it five minutes before thou."

    Does that facilitate some type of time travel or precognition?

  31. Mike

    Leave that Garbage at the Door

    Am I the only one in the world who finds absolutely nothing humourous about the "I'll get [my|me|our|] [coat|taxi|jimmy-hat] thing?

    Here's a joke that barely is worth the electricity wasted on the keyboard used to type it... But I'll redeem my post by adding "I'll get my coat."

    There's nothing funny about it! You're useless!

  32. Jon

    First time here...

    Who's up for a fight?? Cum on, I'll take yer all on.. I'm hard as nail me, hard as nails!!

    On the subject of trolls and fights, where's amanfrommars and what's his take on these rules?

  33. Tom

    Better words for "bitch slap"

    I refer to the mavens of NPR (USA National Public Radio) commonly refered to as "Click and Clack". Their term is MUCH better. It is called a "Dope Slap". At times it can be self inflicted (and needs to be sometimes). Please refer to the V8 juice commercial shown on TV ([Wack] You/I could have had a V8).

  34. lazarus_mub

    Spotty oiks club.

    I think we're getting perilously close to being one big clique!!

    Actually, is there a rule about not stating the obvious? Sorry I haven't read the instructions yet. . . . .I'll check the pockets of my coat in the green room.

    mub - CLUEDO!!!

  35. Josh


    You forgot to specify the slightly lesser known rule to number six:

    "Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line."

  36. Will Godfrey Silver badge


    These rules are pathetic. Look how easily they break.

  37. Morely Dotes

    Well, it doesn't fit anywhere else...

    I've been having weird DNS issues trying to access UK Web sites all day - first the Beeb, then El Reg, and now turns up missing:

    10/19/07 16:46:48 dns

    No data of requested type

    (Host doesn't exist - try Dig for MX record)

    Has the Department of Homeland Supremacy decided that you blokes can't be trusted, or is the .uk top-level DNS server losing its marbles?

  38. Captain DaFt

    One small complaint...

    "6. Thou shalt not get involved in a land war in Asia."

    A good rule, but isn't it misplaced? Every body knows that rule 6 is;

    6. There is NO rule number 6!

    Well, I rarely wear a coat, so I'll just get me cap.

  39. Sceptical Bastard

    I'll only ask this once more...

    ... having never found a truly satisfactory answer, but WHO THE FUCK is Chuck Norris? And, more to the point, why is he so revered by El Reg readers?

    As to the Reg Club Rules, I am bitterly disappointed that there's no "you HAVE to fight - and fight to the death" rule. I was so looking forward to kicking the shit out of some of the trolls. Now we can't even feed them!

    PS: Coincidently, I watched Fight Club again last night (it was shown on Film 4, a television channel here in the UK) and was pleased to be reminded what a great film it is. I like movie violence, me.

  40. Chief sub

    I'm disappointed...

    Membership of Reg Club so far seems to offer no benefits whatsoever. At least with the Denis the Menace Fan Club. you got access to the jet-setting world of the rich and famous, instant introductions to a bevy of busty beauties - and best of all, a badge. These seem sadly lacking here.

  41. chuckufarley

    Hot Damn!

    and WHOOOEEEEE!!

    Cletus, check out the IT angles on that one!

  42. Anonymous Coward
    Dead Vulture

    Reg rules ?

    Should Reg rules not be akin to those for Mornington Crescent ?

    If the rules are understandable they must be changed immediately.

  43. TeeCee Gold badge
    Dead Vulture

    Why.... I the only one here (apart from the yet-to-be-identified scrote who posted this five minutes ago) wondering why the original "rule" that sparked this whole thing off: "Thou shalt not quote Wikipedia and expect to be taken seriously." didn't make the final eight? Did it make too much sense?

    Shome mishtake, shurely?

  44. Matt
    Thumb Up

    re: What about the "Fry takedown"?

    >If you can quote Stephen Fry to support your argument, you have hereby nuked all possible opposition and the discussion is over.


    What about if you can quote Philip J Fry, or even Dr. Zoidberg?

  45. Rich Bryant

    Rule 7

    Chuck Norris is a big girl. No respect.

  46. Chris

    Rule 2

    2. Thou shalt not ask "Where's the IT angle?" and not expect to be interfrastically discombobulated


  47. Tim

    Rules of Reg Club, BBC Micro style

    10 PRINT "Don't talk about Reg Club"

    20 GOTO 10

    30 DATA "Coat"

  48. Zech Lim

    What is it with the coat? I'm from Asia

    If a land war happens in Asia, by virtue of geographic association and propinquity, I will likely be involved. And methinks perhaps only Asians staying in the northern regions (Korea and northwards) wear coats regularly. The rest of the continent is too frigging hot and humid.

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