Swearing at work 'good for business' There's some good news today for El Reg hacks and indeed anyone who likes a solid bit of effing and blinding at work - the University of East Anglia has found "the use of non-conventional and uncivil language can be a useful emotional release and an effective way of promoting social relationships with others". Put simply, …
I knew it! I always suspected this to be the case, and now I have evidence to prove it! (Empirical I hear you say? Suck My Balls!). Ha! No one can stop me now....
What's wrong with a good swear every now and again? Eh?
Go on, let the expletives fly.....
PS.....
Where is the Paris Hilton angle?
Great, just what's needed for the decline of civilization. Back to the 1600's.
In the same vein, a mew book touted here in the colonies by Donald Trump is "Think BIG and Kick Ass in Business and Life" Another nail in the coffin.
No wonder China is stomping all over western businesses. We're having such a fine time cursing and swearing and kicking a$$ that we don't even care. Trade deficit, who gives a hoot?
what an absolutel load of f****** b*******, complete twaddle.
what kind of t*** comes up this kind of s***
every office i've ever worked in had swearing, every office i've worked in has always had stress
swearing is too intgrated into our society for this "research" to be considered anything other than f****** obvious
bloody hell, what do they f****** take us for, useless t****** students, trying to justify their grants?
f*** off
imagine that not walking on bloody eggshells is good for bastard staff morale :-O
never understood offense at a word, might as well get in a strop about apples or mushrooms being said as someone saying cu*t or fuck.
personally id rather be a stupid cu*t than a prolapsed rectum, or a wolf bagging greasy fart taster any day.....
Yeah, we got one of those, and between the 15 of us it usually averages about $12,000 a month in IOU's and about 80 bucks in cold hard cash, at 50 cents a curse word... We usually split the kitty at the end of the year and give half of it to charity and then use it to pay the department's bar tab at the annual christmas party.
That's what it is.
At a place I used to work, one of the receptionists was always unfailingly bright, cheerful and polite on the telephone when people rang in, no matter how abusive, ignorant or just plain stupid they were (or the person who rang immediately to them was). I've seen her deal with an especially difficult customer, hang up and then the phone rings, instant smile, cheerful voice "Good morning welcome to..." The model professional receptionist.
At tea breaks and lunch time however, she would come down to the smoking area, light a cigarette and it'd be "fucking stupid fucking cunt this morning..." She'd wax lyrically and obscenely for a few minutes and she'd be all refreshed, restored and set for another session on the phone putting up with and being exceptionally polite to fucking morons.
Good on her - at least the anger and frustration was coming out in safety amongst workmates who'd understand and not directed at clients, visitors or senior members of staff. She'd get through an entire session of reception duty (8:30-10, 10:15-12, 1-3 and 3:15-5) knowing that she would be able to go somewhere, have a coffee and a cigarette and "unload" later on.
If you can't vent in safety afterwards, a few crappy calls/encounters/tasks can foul up your handling of the next poor bugger that calls/arrives.
I hate the living fuck out of my boss because she can't manage a god fucking damned thing - every single email is her threatening to fire the entire fucking IT department over not filling out her current piece of misnamed paperwork. Today, it was "Project Plans" which for whatever fucking reason aren't plans at all, but the same fucking thing as the "Project Time Sheets" she was on to us about last week, which are prettymuch the same fucking thing as the "Work Logs" she was on about the week before that, which are deadly identical (except on letter paper instead of an index card) to our hourly workers' time cards. But yeah. Threatening to fire the whole fucking department over paperwork that most of us do as a condition of getting fucking paid anyway is real fucking motivating and good for fucking morale. Useless fucking pissflap cuntsack.
So, naturally, I've announced my intentions to leave the company, because I've had enough of her shit. I'm told by my surviving coworkers that I'll be missed - my constant fucking swearing about how much I hate that useless cunt (preferably within earshot of her. This is a bridge that I not only want to burn but want to light ABLAZE, and then fucking call the Department of Labor about some payment irregularities that I've noticed (THE FUCKING CUNT STIFFED ME A WHOLE WEEKEND'S OT PAY BECAUSE SHE TRIED TO CALL MY DESK "TO MAKE SURE I WAS WORKING" AND I DIDN'T ANSWER BECAUSE THE FUCKING PHONE NETWORK WAS OFFLINE FOR FUCKING SCHEDULED UPGRADES - WHICH I WAS FUCKING WORKING ON!)) is apparently the only thing keeping some of these other people sane - and they aren't confident enough to just quit and then go job-surfing.
In short, if it weren't for my motherfucking foul mouth, some of the brightest minds I've ever worked alongside would have probably hung themselves by their fucking ties (oh yeah. I forgot about the fucking UNIFORM TIES. With computers printed on them. There were matching shirts at one point, but I led the revolt against those. My tie is tied in a hangman's noose and currently dangles from the ceiling above the Helldesk - out of the useless cuntbag's reach. I don't even wear fucking dress shirts anymore.
And then there's the meetings with the bitch. Her personality is so absolutely abrasive it feels like sandpaper on your god damned nuts. She makes it a point to drag you into her office and shut the fucking door for positive things (which don't exist these days) and leave the door open and shout at the top of her lungs about disciplinary things. You should've heard her when I refused to sign the disciplinary form about my "fraudulent overtime" - on account of the fact that the security systems and a half dozen coworkers vouched for the fact that I was indeed present and that the phone system was indeed offline because we were indeed installing VoIP - god knows the rest of the building heard her - including HR, who promptly sent someone up to explain that what she's doing is A) Illegal and B) Against policy and will get her fired if I so much as breathe a word to the Department of Labor - which the HR weenies actually advised that I do (because they can't fire her for internal reasons relating to equal opportunity employment... she's apparently been diagnosed with about 808324883 different mental conditions that the company shouldn't and didn't know about, but she decided to make common public knowledge specifically so that, if she's ever dismissed, she can cry about it.
Ahhh, that was cathartic. Fuck my job. In 2 weeks, I'm out, in a month she'll be out, and I'll be working for one of our suppliers.
Oh, lighten up, you silly old sod. One bunch of words aren't different from another bunch of words. They certainly aren't going to cause the downfall of anything.
I used to impolitely let loose a string of expletives at my computer while in work, especially while trying to get Oracle DB to work. Did a marvellous job of offending some of the sales team in our little open plan office. Oh, I'm sorry, did my rendition of the "awwwwwww, FUCKNUTS" song physically wound you? Hehe.
This is something that I have always wondered about. Why is "fuck" rude, but "f*ck" isn't? Why do newspapers asterisk out key letters in swear words? Are there really people out there who look at "f*ck" and _don't_ think "fuck"? It's not as if any other letter would fit (unless you count 'feck'). C*nt? Well, I suppose it could be 'cant', I suppose. But who would think that?
It's a bit like prossie postcards in phone boxes. Why do they bother putting the black dots over nipples? Everybody knows what's underneath, the postcards are against the law anyway, and the photo is almost certainly not that of the female at the end of the phone number (alledgedly...) Even if they are photos of Paris Hilton.
So asterisks and black dots, in my mind, are just signs of denial. Bollocks to them.
... there's quite a few ex-Army types here who get away with a level of profanity that would have seen them hauled before personnel/HR back in Blighty. The Germans seem to have accepted that this is perfectly normal for Brits.
My favourite phrase was some years ago when a German girl asked some guy to check something on our X25 network... His response after a cursory investigation: "The fuckin' fucker's fucked" :-)
Coolio...
Now I can talk about my wife whilst at work.
However chaps and chappesses.... unless you are typing FROM work, all this profanity is being aired whilst at home or during a WiFi stealing exercise for which I am absolutely sure that there has been no law passed to permit you to say all these terribly naughty words.
So off you go now and write out 100 times, "I will not swear without a fucking good reason"
I cant think of anything worse than not being able to swear while working with users, computers, bosses and other assorted twats.
If I couldnt swear at the retards asking me stupid fucking questions about why their print job hasnt come out (not switched on, paper jam, out of paper/toner) because their too fucking stoopid to have a look themselves I'd go cocksucking fucking mental!!
Fuck being able to use language, we need some punch bags! The last stupid cunt of the day gets a punch up the bracket. This should be written into my contract.
@One-armed Freddy:
Brilliant!! I wet myself at that one. God knows why.
We're all having a good giggle about this (and why not), but there's a more serious side to it. Now, I'm no prude, and in an appropriate context the odd swear-word at work can be quite effective / impactful, however consider the following.
1) Some people may find swearing seriously offensive, distasteful, blasphemous or even intimidating / frightening
2) What we say is taken at face-value by many and remembered. In other words, it may not do your career prospects much good especially if someone in 1) complains about it, or if your current / future boss isn't a fan of it
3) It's frankly unprofessional in an office environment. I work in marketing (a relatively respectful white-collar industry) and I get new prospective suppliers who come in to see me and a few will start using coarse/mildly blasphemous language like they've known me all my life. It's a very easy decision not to use them at all after that - and I'll tell them why, some look sheepish and apologise, others look at me like I've dropped down from Mars.
There are however certain industries where 'industrial' language is the norm, so it's horses 4 courses I guess....
The idea of having taboo words is completely ridiculous and largely stems from the time when Latin and French were the languages used by royalty (in this country, at least). Perfectly good and acceptable words were looked down on as common - in the original sense of the word - and fell into disuse and disrepute as the rest of the populace tried to emulate the nobles.
There's nothing inherently wrong with words we regard as obscene, foul or profane; they're just words, like any other. That said, I'm not entirely free from the brainwashing, either. I don't like to hear children swear.
As for other people, I really couldn't give a fuck.
...well i guess someone has too.
Seriously tho, in answer to your points:-
1) If people find the specific words I use to communicate, then that's their problem. Swear words are just a part of the language, and I reserve the right to make use of as much or as little of it as I see fit. I can be all of those things without swearing, and an can swear and be none of those things.
2) If someone complains about my use of language, and I am reprimanded, then I'll be out of here faster than you can say "bollocks to that". Seriously, in the context of personal abuse / bullying / etc.. it's unacceptable, but then again, it's not the swearing that is the problem in that case. If my boss were more concerned that I avoid using one or two particular words, then the clear and efficient use of language to communicate, I'd be somewhat concerned - not to mention overstressed!
3) Again, that's a load of crap. It is simply part of the English language. You may look down at the likes of me for swearing, but I look down upon the likes of you for deliberately stunting your use of the language (particularly when you say that you find it easy to do). The only possible reason to not swear is that it is offensive, and nobody has ever given me a better explanation of why swearing is offensive other than the self-fulfilling "people think it's offensive." Not good enough, I'm afraid. It is only unprofessional to use such language in customer facing roles, where, because of their inexplicable dislike of certain words, customers may leave or avoid the business. Anywhere else, it's often useful for clearly expressing and communicating information.
Well, what would you know.
The next thing yet another brain-dead executive would impose on his helpless employees might very well be a compulsory expletives day.
Just imagine all the employees gathering in circle and going "fuck!" and "shit!" for at least 5 minutes every hour, to reduce stress and improve working conditions by 3.51 percent or whatever.
Ah, the joy.
Oh dear, Steve - as well as being a real charmer, you've vainly tried to make some points to justify your use of whatever language you like, but not very well.
1) "If people find the specific words I use to communicate, then that's their problem". I think you missed out the word 'offensive' there, but I got your drift. If someone finds you or your language offensive then it's YOUR problem, sunshine. Who are you to say how someone should feel? By your own lofty standards is homophobic, sexist or racist language also acceptable? If you answer "no" to this, you're guilty of appalling double standards.
2) Using offensive language can amount to bullying on its own, doesn't need any actions to go with it. Cases have gone to European Court over this.
3) Mostly tosh, Steve - I'm not telling you to stop swearing, but just to consider the thoughts of others. Would you swear in a job interview? In court? Of course not - it's part of cultural etiquette not to use certain words in certain circumstances. And as I said earlier, if someone finds it offensive, that's reason enough that you should at least consider refraining. How on earth can that be considered self-fulfilling? What exactly does it fulfil?? In any case, the less frequently it's used, the more value it has - keep it up your sleeve for hard-hitting impact.
This post has been deleted by its author
The Register 
Biting the hand that feeds IT
Copyright. All rights reserved © 1998–2024
