OK
OK then.
The commentators among you will have noticed that El Reg recently deployed a set of 11 "comment icons" (now expanded to 23) allowing you, our beloved readers, to flag your two bits' worth with a suitable image. However, it seems there's a bit of confusion as to what pic should accompany which sort of outburst, so here are our …
"Adios: I’m so furious that I am removing El Reg from my bookmarks."
"Where’s the IT angle?: This is self-explanatory. Feel free to add comment about how when I was a lad The Register had proper tech coverage, etc, etc."
If they realize they need icons such as these, there is little hope of them pulling out of their downward spiral into the depths of suckiness. Useless, biased hacks, and now attacking their readers. "Anonymous Coward"? (read: we don't give a rat's ass about what you say or who you are, just sign up so we can sell your email address.)
Last one out turn off the lights.
Your ThumbsUp/Down icons are dangerously close to the three-fingered, gloved hands of a certain multinationally-licensed rodent. Expect the Enforcers of the Heirs of Walt(tm) to slap a cease-and-desist on you at any mnoment!
(Oh... and if you make the weapons pods on the black helicopter icon just a TINY bit longer, it won't look quite so much like a "Warning: laser" symbol at small sizes.)
Perhaps...
For all those of us who remember when punch cards were actually in *use,* or had to walk to school barefoot in the snow, uphill both ways, and can tell all you whippersnapers how *good* you have it now? That'd be *especially* handy for those of us whom can't resist rubbing y'all's nose in our superior(?) 'experience,' such as myself. :-p
Maybe a hunchback with a walker, in silhouette?
Otherwise, by all means, full speed ahead and damn the torpedoes!
I'd like to add my vote for the FSM icon, definitely needed for those that suffer from the wrath of ID-iots.
Conversely, a "No Darwin" symbol icon for the ID-iots to use (I am fair, after all.)
I'll also cast my vote for a Linux penguin icon, or maybe a more generic "OS" icon for open source in general.
And lastly, my own contribution, how about a "Straight-jacket " icon for those times the madness is threatening to drive the poor poster crazy(er)?
I think we need two more, exclusively reserved for Lester's stories:
1. Big foaming tankard of beer, meaning, "I'm getting the next round because I love it AND it's got a Paris Hilton angle AND a joke, AND it's written in pukka British lingo.
2. Girly looking glass, meaning "You used a banned word, like m*be or l*ppy. Get the next round in. Mine's a pint. Yours is a Babycham. Which you will drink in front of your mates at the bar. Let that be a lesson to you!"
Is IT AI Growing Force preparing 42MoveOn the Federal Reserve and Spirit away its Virtual Assets .... for Safer Keeping in an Intellectual Property Locked Vault requiring a Magic Invisible Key and Integrity to unlock its SurReal Funding Streams for the NeXXXXt Phase of Quman dDevelopment? ......... for a Titan Rein in a Ping Dynasty? ......... http://www.news.com/5208-1043_3-0.html?forumID=1&threadID=31992&messageID=320869&start=0
Nothing to worry about though, as being Virtual, means that it is not Real and therefore just Stuff and Mountain View Nonsense?
A Perfect Storm in a Tea Cup 42 Make a Capitol Mountain out of a Vole Hill though..
How about an icon for.
"I need to use this icon to explain to you what my post is about and how it needs to be interpreted because you lot are all so fucking stupid you need annoying pictures to help you understand any statement over two lines long. It's not that El Reg is dumbing down. Were just compensating for our less educated brethren, which happens to be you. Yes you!"
I guess it was Friday and you didn't feel like doing any real work. Trouble is, now I'm gonna be disappointed if there aren't new icons every week. So here are my suggestions for a few more:
>> DUI – I've just got back from the pub, and mee liquid lunch is pressing heavily on mee median-pareital-temporal lobe, but that's not gonna inhbit mee from wading in with mee five-penneth worth...
>> Lexographical apoplexy – this article contains a word that needs banning/Hell I though we'd banned it and hung the author already.
>> Keeping abreast – the only thing that could have allowed the author to walk away unscathed from this wreck was a pair of fully inflated Bulgarian Airbags. And I didn't see them deployed.
>> "Why the hell hasn't the What's-the-IT-angle? icon got a picture of something computer related on it?" icon. – Self explanatory.
>> Incoming! – I was mentioned in this article and am going dispute points of fact with the author in a snarling hissy fit, so why don't y'all ready some popcorn and start a little pool on who's gonna win.
>> not a geek – despite working on a helpdesk, the only IT expertise I have is knowing where the off-button is. But I heard the site had some cool icons and Paris Hilton stories; c'mon guys, where are the Parish Hilton stories?
>> Orlowski is a God! – man, that Orlowski guy always says it as it is, and sure gives those blogging, Sadvillian, Web 2.0 badgers one in the eye. Down with Wikipedia! Down with Sadville! Down with Web 2.0!
>> Die, Orlowskie! Die! – I'm a wiki-fiddlling Web2.0 blogger who, despite being thirty-something, still lives with my parents. And I'd of rather been locked in a body bag with Orlowski's decomposing corpse for a year than read that crock of shit. Up with Wikipedia! Up with web 2.0! Up with Sadville! Up my giant, deflated furry member!
>> amanfrommars?! WTF! – hey guys, why the hell did this algortihm get the ultimate accolade of its own icon?
>> Deputised – Sherriff has skimped on the links again, so visit _here_ for [more] pretty pics and _here_ for maths that violate countless international treaties on torture. You have been warned.
--Pete
BOFH has already an Icon, (the horned telephone - probably trademarked to Simon Travaglia), El Reg just needs to put it here.
I won´t be the third to congratulate AmanfromMars, this dadaistic-AI-experiment that won´t ever make sense. But he/it deserves it.
I suggest the Citroen C4 dancing car for the RoTM icon. Or a Renault speeding toward a gas station (with a damaged cruise control implied in the scene).
Keep up the nonsense!
PS. Keep the "Anonymous Vulture", and remove the "Anonymous Coward" designation. Some comments (get-me-coat type specially) should be kept anonymous. Forever. Not even the writer should know he wrote those.
... Ed Motler who is with stooopid. The icons are as irritating as they are unneccessary. And why does the troll get his own?
Thank fuck for the tooltips. The 'bleeding bird' one ("I am disgusted by..etc") looks like a shot penguin. So I took it to mean 'Tux is dead', an icon to be used by gloating Windows fanboys.
On a more positive note, I am glad that 'Anonymous Vulture' has been changed to 'Anonymous Coward'.
"I'm a fully paid-up, flag waving neocon member of the NRA and I know WWII was won single-handedly by John Wain and Robert Michum and not by Monty Queen of England and if it wasn't for us saving your sorry asses like we have done for centuries you'd all be commie muslims and wouldn't be allowed to go anywhere or have guns or nothing and don't get me started on the chinese ...."
Here's couple more you'll need:
> A US flag ripped and covered with shit, for all the "Americans are useless bigoted religious-whacko pieces of Bush-voting dogshit that have no right to breathe MY air!" crowd.
> A US flag surrounded by radial shine-lines, for all the "Americans INVENTED the Internet and without us you'd all be speaking German/Chinese/Japanese and digging pigshit 18 hours a day for nothing!" crowd.
> A UK flag with the St George cross turned into a swastika, for all the "Blair/Brown/etc is hell-bent on destroying our freedom and turning the country into an Orwellian Police State" crowd.
> I was going to suggest a shine-lined UK flag here, but I've never read any posts from anyone praising the UK... miserable gits!
> A photo of George Orwell, or perhaps the Ingsoc V-symbol from Michael Radford's movie, for everyone (myself included) who likes to compare modern political systems with those described in his last book.
> A flying car icon, not just for flying cars, but for any piece of questionable tech that's touted to radically change our lives Real Soon Now, but which will never actually get anywhere.
That's all I can think of for now... I'll wait and see what happens before I give you any more bad ideas!