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back to article Livid woman torches ex-hubby's wedding tackle

A Moscow man who ill-advisedly decided to sit watching telly in the nude in the flat he shared with his ex-missus earned himself a wedding-tackle-torching for his trouble, the Evening Standard reports. The unnamed man's former wife evidently took exception to his vodka-swilling TV viewing, and duly set fire to his penis. A …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Beware

    I guess next time he'll take her seriously when she yells, "I swear to God, Vladimir, put that thing away or I'll set it on fire!"

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  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Hmm... What was on TV?

    Was he watching Hot Rod racing at the time? Perhaps he had been practising his german; I say dear, "ich habe ein brennendes steifes".. whilst watching some "WhatBoysWant" vids and his ex misses got the hump and decided to take his comment as a request!

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  3. Conway

    Ouch

    He described it as "Mosntrously Painful", well now we know.

    I wonder if Mrs Boris in a fit of remorse is going to offer to apply the savlon? (picture scenes from a singing detective with Joanne Whalley).

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  4. Robert McCracken

    A song springs to mind.

    "Come on baby light my fire"

    OUCH!!!!!

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  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    i bet she asked him..

    to put that flaming thing away.

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  6. Ciaran Tracey

    Closer to home.....

    but a similar story

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/merseyside/4253849.stm

    ouch!!

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  7. lansalot

    Rude not to...

    Up late, burning the candle at both ends perhaps ?

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  8. Lloyd

    If it was in Oz

    You could have had "woman chucks another shrimp on the barbie".

    I'll get me coat.

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  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Ok let's think

    Let's think about whether this is a good idea. Over there sits my ex-wife. Let me go ahead and take all my clothes off, and then sit here naked in from of the TV with my giant gut, and to top it off, I'll sip some Vodka. Preferably when she's got a date coming.

    Gosh...you think she'll be offended???

    Dirty bastard deserved what he got.

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  10. Tony

    Women be warned!

    There are many over-the-counter products that can be surreptitiously applied to certain women's undergarments that cover certain parts of a woman's anatomy that will induce (over a short time) an overwhelming desire to remove such undergarments immediately. In great haste. No matter the current company.

    While not physically scarring like fire on a "stick", the target of revenge being stuck on an airliner or some other suitably confined space and being forced to disrobe in public because her nether regions were on fire.....Priceless.

    Men rule the world for a reason.

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  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    oh nasty...

    I'd put some deep heat on that.

    is that my coat?

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  12. Rose

    Another song springs to mind

    "My Old Flame"

    Far more appropriate, as three years on she's still carrying a torch for him. How romantic ^^

    igmc

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  13. Alan Donaly

    oh man

    this isn't funny that had to hurt real bad stupid woman

    he didn't do anything to deserve mutilation she

    deserves to spend time in a russian prison.On

    second thought no she deserves to still live with

    the guy I am sure he has ideas on what to do.

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  14. Neil

    Behold...

    ...the burning bush commeth?

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  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Another Jerry Lee Lewis song comes to mind

    "Goodness gracious - great balls of fire"

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  16. Spike Ravenscroft

    @Tony

    'Men rule the world for a reason.'

    WOW, and I just wanted to say what a bang up job you guys are doing.

    So good in fact that perhaps you should move on to being some sort of powerless figurehead and let people who know what they are doing run it instead.

    Or anyone else really...

    I wouldn't bandy about statements like that unless you want to start a wave of incidents similar to this one.

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  17. Andy Worth

    Perhaps......

    Just maybe he should get to do the equivalent to her in retribution? I'm always one for "an eye for an eye" punishments. You know.....funnel some petrol down her chuff and then lob in a match?

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  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    He *didn't* deserve it?

    So if you were watching telly in the nude would you deserve to have your genitalia set on fire? Really? You actually think that?

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  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What was on TV

    Maybe he was watching Dr Who

    And she preferred "Torchwood"

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  20. Daniel Silver badge

    @Andy Worth

    Priceless - fell off me stool laughing.

    Just trying to picture it now.....

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  21. Iain Cartledge

    Is Spike Ravenscroft...

    A man or a woman? "you guys"? Never heard Spike used as a woman's name before, maybe I'm just being naive but I call shenanigans.

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  22. James

    Although I bet he wishes she wasn't

    I guess after all these years she was still carrying a flame for him.

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  23. Said

    Ricochet

    Its only funny until someone gets hurt, and then it's hilarious

    - Faith No More.

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  24. One-armed Freddy

    He's lying, sarge

    He's a liar liar, pants on fire.

    Ahaha.

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  25. Spike Ravenscroft

    For Iain Cartledge

    Yes, believe it or not, I am a woman and I read the Register and my name is Spike.

    *gasp* Yes folks, all of the above are true.

    Everybody happy now?

    :D

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  26. Marcus Vowell

    Heh...

    Gives new meaning to "burning sensation"...

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