back to article Golf and Intel Inside China threaten life as we know it

The decadence of the new age crushed Johnny Stumpy's spirit. He'd always thought of himself as a noble vagabond, a street-licker with virtue. Then, the old man pounded him in the head with a mallet made of gold, and Johnny's dreams died. Stumpy got stumped. - The Devil Wears Sleeveless Ts by Julio Stantore Alright. It's time to …


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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    Some americans are so vile...

  2. Charles Griswold

    Re: Wow...

    "Some americans are so vile..."

    Yes, the article was in poor taste (I'm not even sure why the Register printed it, honestly), but a) I just took it as a bit of jingoistic humor and b) what you said is true of every nationality.

  3. the Jim bloke

    Its in Bootnotes

    engage or acquire sense of humour before opening.

  4. Matthew


    The only way golf could be more American is if they tarmac over the golf course and make another stirp-mall.

  5. Simon Ball


    You do know that all of Otto Z Stern's posts are parodies of controversy-courting right-wing American technology commentators, don't you?

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What's wrong with a Chinese Intel?

    I mean, manufacturing prices would go down, so everyone would be able to have a computer. Having had practice with the Great Firewall of China, they are in a much better position at, and have had done more research in, monitoring all internet traffic for "terrorist threats" than the current US program that's running. Who can then be sent of to the perfected "re-education camps" that appear to be more effective than Gitmo, as normal stints only last 2 years before inmates are "rehabilitated" and released to the public.

    Plus, an Intel Inside Driver would allow you to take your PC to the golf course and keep and eye on your Sadville developments while playing with big sticks and small balls...

    PS On a real note, Golfing is taking off in China. Seen as an affluent western past-time, and therefore must be emulated. I despair, sometimes...

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    A note for the hard of thinking

    Otto Z Stern is a comedy character. A parody of a nationalist libertarian extremist. He's funny because he's off the wall, and disturbing because his meanderings take him through places where we (caring, tolerant, liberal) actually agree with him. And that makes people who think in pigeon holes uncomfortable.

  8. Chris Collins


    I thought as an "op-ed" it was all right, actually. Punchy and distinctly to a point. Modern gonzo journalism. I imagine these are the people who complain about the Paris Hilton articles as well.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Should there be some sort of test for wannabe posters?

    It would have to be carefully written to weed out the slashdotters, those without a sense of humour and those who post comments like the above on a story written by Otto Stern.

    This isn't "news for nerds", this is "biting the hand that feeds IT".

  10. preethi

    Purveyors of freedom

    This is the kind of shit that has bought US so many enemies?

  11. Will Leamon

    Some Confusion

    Otto is not a libertarian he's a hardcore right wing evangelist. A libertarian would say 'Fuck it, if people want to play golf in the desert let'em'

    Though I must agree with out admittedly fictitious author. Golf is a huge, elitist, waste of space. I've always wanted golf courses switched over to Kart tracks. So much more fun for everyone. Hell we could even race the little golf carts. That would be good for some drunken mayhem.

  12. DoubleD


    Maybe the best thing to do is to have Otto's column appear only in the US Edition of the Reg. It seems obvious that we "don't get" each others type of humor/humour.

  13. Léon

    does it feel good

    to complain so much? when i read the title, i thought it would be an interesting piece. i like to play golf. im a sysadmin so i like IT related stuff too, but this is neither. i'm sorry to say Register, but this is material better placed at a personal blog.

  14. Steve


    You know, if more people had a sense of humor, there would be less terrorism (and more iPhones) in the world.

    Take a deep breath, step back, and repeat this mantra "IT'S A JOKE", until you understand,

    Sheesh !

  15. Luther Blissett

    Stick with the IT angle

    My informants tell me the PRC is getting pissed just holding all those dollars they earn as Treasury bonds and keeping the USA afloat in the process. The PRC is worried that the dollar could go down the pan very quickly if stops being the world reserve currency - which is to say, if it stops being the mandatory instrument for oil trades. As they peg to the dollar, this would be doubly bad for them. They intend therefore to adopt a more aggressive foreign investment strategy. Intel would be a good place to start, not least as they could dispose of a big part of their dollar mountain one good blow. The problem (for the US) as Otto correctly notes is that any greenbacks they put on the table could be very difficult to refuse. Market tip - buy Intel.

    It's also why the neocons are attempting to engineer a (treasonous?) North American Free Trade Area - without of course telling the US people. The idea is they think it would be better having China in their own backyard and called Mexico, rather than somewhere they can't see it or find it without a map. Or GPS, depending on whether they're just looking or routing their B52's.

  16. Dillon Pyron


    Hey, I have a 13 handicap and I've played at the ($550 green fees) Wynn. If it doesn't insult me, it shouldn't insult anybody.

    At the rate wages are going up in China vs the US, in ten years Chinese Intel would be building fabs in the US.

  17. Sean Ryan

    If they buy Intel, I quit.

    Even if it means I have to give up working in processor design.

  18. Nexox Enigma

    Awesome Article

    I think that anyone that has a problem with this article should probably go get their news off or somesuch. Articles like this show El Reg's attitude, which is the reason that I read it.

    Could anything other than an article of this nature show more completely the way in which corporate insanity has not affected our Reg in any way?

    I really think The Reg should keep publishing articles about whatever they want, written any way that they want, because they seem to have proven their good taste in that area.

  19. the Jim bloke

    Dont know or particularly care about the China stuff

    But I agree totally about the golf courses.

    Providing a totally artifical token piece of greenery amidst the weed infested devastation we call civilisation just acts to conceal how much damage we are really doing. Wallpapering over the gaping holes in the environment.

    The self obsessed ravings Otto is parodying (sp?) are what the rest of the world expects from the USA, and its reassuring to see that there are a couple of people amongst the 300 million or however many it is that can poke fun at themselves.

  20. Arif Rashid

    what is wrong with some people???

    God almighty! I thought that the Reg was supposed to be a quality news site that takes the p*ss out of anyone and everyone at every opportunity. Why do some people get so offended, or take everything they read so seriously?? Its no wonder that the IT profession is full of t*ats. All you people moaning about El Reg being unprofessional and immature need to get a life. IPHONE IPHONE IPHONE, i had no reason to say it, but i went there anyway.

  21. Ecocandle Riel

    Great Article

    Great article, I loved it. Well done...I would write more, but I have a tee time.

  22. J


    The most entertaining in an Otto Z. Stern article is usually the comments section. Keep it up, boys and girls! :-)


  23. Pascal Monett Silver badge

    Yeah, Léon, you're right

    Let's all studiously keep each other's point of view out of our respective sights. Let's avoid any exposure to someone who thinks differently, and let us especially not put our own selves into question.

    Ignorance is the best. That way, any time we want to declare a war on the others, all we need to justify it is to show how disgustingly different they are.

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