back to article Yes! It's the USB typing-speed indicator lamp!

If only Pitman's typing training courses provided its pupils with one of these puppies: a Japanese-made USB lamp that shines with varying intensity and hue... according to how fast your fingers are cruising over your keys. USB_lamp3 A slow typist (left) and a faster typist (right) The USB Typing Measurement Lamp weighs …


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  1. Ian Ferguson


    I think I'll strap one to the head of each employee in the typing pool and fire the ones who are blue for too long. That'll keep team spirit up if anything will!

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Track and Field

    A generation reared on Daley Thompson's Declathon and Hypersports should have no problem making these lights light up. I notice the report doesn't say anything about typing accuracy (not that the lights would be able to tell). If these things take off, they will produce hordes of kids who can type OPOPOPOPOPOPOP really quickly.

    Perhaps the company could come up with an audio equivalent, that lights up brighter the faster you speak. It would be a boon for call centres - the employee who could light up his light the brightest would get a raise, whereas the dimmest 5% would periodically be dismissed.

    I wonder how the porn industry could use these lights.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    as long as the backspace key counts, I'll be able to see what I'm doing...

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Can we start a Register petition for "better" USB accessories?

    I'll start...(if you insist)

    I propose a USB A4 printer that uses the Golfball head.

    It has BOFH potential as when the external auditors visit and want to be set up with a printer, the noise and (lack of ) speed will drive them buggy (especially when they have to reformat their reports in ASCII or similar).

    If I am really bored I can locate an old real to reel tape drive and make my desk look like SHADO HQ.


  5. Doc Farmer

    And yet, they don't review the USB Humping Dog...

    Seriously, Register editors, you've got to get your priorities straight here...

  6. Dillon Pyron


    I type at between 90 and 120 wpm on a typewriter (where you have to actually hit RETURN at the end of the line). Probably in the 100 wpm range on a computer. I wonder what color it will glow for me. Or will it burn out or blow up?

  7. Mike

    re: Track and Field

    Would that be the game where kids were packing modified electric toothbrushes?

    (at least for the coin-op version, anyway)

  8. Enno

    humping dog? pfffft!

    How can you go past the glory that is... wait for it... the USB pole dancer!

    My guess is NSFW by the way...

  9. Andy Turner


    Ian Ferguson said: "I think I'll strap one to the head of each employee in the typing pool and fire the ones who are blue for too long"

    I wouldn't do that.. those are the ones that are typing fast!!

  10. Wyrmhole

    The USB Keylogger?

    How fast can you type your password today?®

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The perfect companion product (?)...

    ...would have to be the "USB Exercise Bike Mouse with LCD Word Counter"

    I might have to go and find a USB hub...

    Paul F.

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