I think I'll strap one to the head of each employee in the typing pool and fire the ones who are blue for too long. That'll keep team spirit up if anything will!
If only Pitman's typing training courses provided its pupils with one of these puppies: a Japanese-made USB lamp that shines with varying intensity and hue... according to how fast your fingers are cruising over your keys. USB_lamp3 A slow typist (left) and a faster typist (right) The USB Typing Measurement Lamp weighs …
A generation reared on Daley Thompson's Declathon and Hypersports should have no problem making these lights light up. I notice the report doesn't say anything about typing accuracy (not that the lights would be able to tell). If these things take off, they will produce hordes of kids who can type OPOPOPOPOPOPOP really quickly.
Perhaps the company could come up with an audio equivalent, that lights up brighter the faster you speak. It would be a boon for call centres - the employee who could light up his light the brightest would get a raise, whereas the dimmest 5% would periodically be dismissed.
I wonder how the porn industry could use these lights.
I'll start...(if you insist)
I propose a USB A4 printer that uses the Golfball head.
It has BOFH potential as when the external auditors visit and want to be set up with a printer, the noise and (lack of ) speed will drive them buggy (especially when they have to reformat their reports in ASCII or similar).
If I am really bored I can locate an old real to reel tape drive and make my desk look like SHADO HQ.