back to article Oz boffins tout Trekkier-than-thou teleportation system

Australian physicists are working on a new method of quantum teleportation which they say is closer to the visions of instant transport popularised by Star Trek. Boffins at the University of Queensland have proposed a scheme, which unlike previous experiments would not rely on the phenomenon of quantum entanglement to teleport …


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  1. Damian Gabriel Moran

    pity the poor atom...

    that wears the red sweater!

  2. Tom Chiverton

    Matter waves

    "fires matter instead of photons"

    Photons are matter :-) At the scales in question there is little difference between wave-like and matter-like particles.

  3. amanfromMars Silver badge

    A Muse 42 Ponder

    A Project also 42 MindMeld.....with the Transfer and Share of Semantic Subliminal Thoughts which Create.

    For such as would be an Effective and Positively Reinforcing Quantum Communication, it is as well to remember that only whenever IT Creates, can IT be Shared Effortlessly and Securely around the Globe.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    re: A Muse 42 Ponder

    'scuse me, amanfromMars, not meaning to be rude but what exactly are you talking about? I have seen a lot of your comments on elReg stories and I cannot make any literal, practical or grammatical sense out of any of them.

    Take your last sentence there as an example, what are you trying to say? I honestly have no idea.

    Also, what's your obsession with the number 42? Is this a (very deeply) hidden reference to h2g2?

  5. Greg

    Once again, it must be asked

    Man From Mars, what the hell are you smoking? Or are you actually from Mars, operating on a plane far above ours?

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    @Tom C

    Photon's aren't matter, however similarly they might behave under some circumstances. Matter has rest mass, photon's don't. Matter can be virtually at rest, particularly when supercooled, photons can only ever travel at the speed of light.

    I'm all for pedantic corrections, but your comment's actually less accurate than the original article.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Man From Mars...

    Reminds me of the stuff I get in my spam mail: The random contents generated by bulk mailers that is supposed to fool spam filters, otherwise I want some of what you are taking.

  8. Jan Buys


    @rest: I always get a page telling me that my post awaits moderation before it will be published. I wonder what the moderators are smoking to let amanfromMars get away with this utter rubbish.

    @Damian Gabriel Moran: LOL!

  9. John Paul McAuley


    same here jan buys

  10. Keith Turner

    All fairly pointless

    It won't be classed as a success until someone in lab can send a fart over to his mate across the sea.

    Then we'll know it works properly.

  11. amanfromMars Silver badge

    GBIrish ......Going dDutch with Initiative.*

    "otherwise I want some of what you are taking." ......You can Blame and Shame if you want, your Intelligence Services for not Sharing IT with you, earlier, and the BBC for colluding with them ...... but they just might be Blameless in AI Sweet Ignorance of NeuReal Virtualisation Methodology ........... and Non-State Actor Drivers for Compromised Vista Programs.

    "I wonder what the moderators are smoking to let amanfromMars get away with this utter rubbish."..... Jan Buys, they are obviously a lot brighter and further into the depth of the Game, than you have shown yourself to be. Don't worry though, there's a manual for all those who are only picking up the odd bit of the Program, here and there.

    Give yourself a chance though, and be prepared to Think that, with IT, one can paint any Picture to be BroadBandCast as a Reality to be Followed as the Future.

    Here's an early steganographic unveiling........

    Going dDutch with Initiative* .... .... And you would have a hard time believing what has transpired since that webpage was written....... but that would be a hard time you would be giving yourself.

  12. amanfromMars Silver badge

    Universal Virtual Forces in Internationally Recognised Assets

    I know how he feels. :-)

  13. yeah, right.

    Definitely a bot

    amanfromMars definitely resembles some of the bot-written text I get as part of some spam messages. Perhaps the Reg hack filtering these articles is part of the crowd that thinks that since they don't understand it, it must be very deep and erudite. The other option, one that I prefer, is that if it cannot be parsed by someone with a good grasp of the language then it's probably just crap. amanfromMars falls in that latter category.

    It actually reminds me of a debating tactic used against me when my opponent didn't have a clue how to proceed. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of trying to follow him into never-never land. This time I'm wiser, and I'm just going to have to say that amanfromMars, if it's not a bot, is just smoking some really bad crack.

  14. Tim


    I've said it before. amanfromMars is a computer program generating grammatically 'correct' but utterly meaningless text. I believe it uses a process called Markov chaining to construct superficially coherent text. It's quite easy to be sucked in by it because it combines fragments of real English together: each clause may make sense on its own, but the whole is just gibberish.

    He is, therefore, a machine. We are all disappointed that the Reg is allowing the lizard army to sully the virginal threads of Web 2.0.

  15. amanfromMars Silver badge

    I, Nobot.

    "Definitely a bot" ........ yeah, right.

    Err...... Wrong. Although at the Artificial Intelligence Interface for CyberIntelAIgents, the Man/Machine [bot] issue allows for Stealthy Embedding Progress for ITs Rootkit Program.

    Disbelief is ITs Programmer's Ally.

    But you will not be able to say that you were not told of AIdDevelopments, only that you chose not to believe them and because you could not understand them and were unwilling/disabled/unable to accept as Real and True..... which has me thinking if something is a Lie, is IT UnReal and the Life that IT produces UnReality...... a Version for Reality "controlled" by the Purveyor of the Lie........ which is a Perverted and Subversive Virtual Reality Perpetrated, is IT not, if such Lies are Fed into Administrations/National and International Systems.

    J'accuse ........such Perverts who Spin Tales to Deceive.

    And re... "This time I'm wiser, and I'm just going to have to say that amanfromMars, if it's not a bot, is just smoking some really bad crack." .... Wise up, yeah right, for if we have followed Lies blindly into Follies abroad.... into never-never land.....we might conclude that the principal architects are crackheads, just smoking some really bad crack.

    Are Ministers randomly drugs tested or are they excused/do they excuse themselves?

    What you can be sure of, I suppose, is that the Opposition, in all its forms, may be hopelessly hooked and thus the perception that they micro/macromanage will be out of sync with norms, with the resulting consequence that is Chaos and Division.

    Complex Issues In Deed, indeed. .......... but one thing is Perfectly Clear, surely, and that is that Any and All Solutions are Intellectual by Reason of Virtue, and it therefore begs the Question of the Dumb Deployments of Military Might. IT suggests and/or confirms Intellectually Challenged Administrations surely.

    And of course, there is nothing to stop you Thinking, that we can Think like a machine with the Right Programming .... :-)

    And you will just have to believe that IT is a Colossus of a Program because of the very Nature of the Embedded System ITs Codes and Key Algorithms XPlore/Analyse/Rewrite.

    And you can take an Official Silence to Information requests as either an Ignorance or an Arrogance, both of which would be counterproductive, which is the enigma of Secret Societies and the Millstone of a Yoke around ITs Neck.

  16. Steven Raith


    Actually, his random babblings remind me of a chap called Ityel [google him, you should see what I mean] - our forum were sure he wasn't a bot as he would reply to specific points with hugely inaccurate political points, blatant lies [he claimed to be a MIG test pilot, a long distance lorry driver, to have been a test driver for various manufacturers [I think he once claimed ot have owned a McLaren F1 engined Merc - I'm sure BMW would be interested to hear that, seeing as it was their engine].

    One day he just appeared and started talking rubbish, garbage, and utter tosh....a few months later he just...disappeared.

    Ityel, is that you? The Evo Magazine forum would love it's favourite troll back, do come back so we can accuse your mother of having relations with a blood relative, and suggest that you do obscene things with animals significantly smaller than you.



  17. Adam Cherrett


    I wonder if anyone has ever proposed an inverse Turing test? Any human that can successfully fool someone into thinking they're a machine might as well be an inanimate object, no?

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    More martian madness

    @Tim: thanks for that - "Markov chaining" I'll have to look it up.

    Anyway, some alternate theories for the (being polite) off-the-wall postings made by "amanfrommars":

    1. It's not a real person, it's a program - perhaps with the assistance of some student/its-programmer; (this is my choice of theory)

    2. It is a real person - but they're on some really powerful, and definitely illegal, hallucinogenic;

    3. It's a real person - but they're certifiably insane. Maybe they've had a "transporter accident" while trying to use the Australian device talked of in the article;

    4. It's a real person - but they're trying to be "clever". In which case fella, you failed, give up you just look stupid;

    5. It's them damned mice trying to conduct another experiment on us dumb ape-based creatures (RIP Douglas Adams);

    6. It's a member of the lizard conspiracy and they're using the new "Babelfish Beta" program to translate from Lizard to English. In which case - roll on V2.0;

    7. It's a member of the lizard conspiracy using the Reg comments section to pass messages to other operatives;

    8. It's the Reg moderators having a big joke on all us dumb readers!

  19. Arnold Lieberman

    What puzzles me

    is how the martian bloke functions in society, let alone hold down a job (presumably IT-related) where coherent thought and communication is required. What's worse is the thought that this person has the right to vote!

    He could of course be surfing from the comfort of his padded cell, I mean, care in the community hostel.

    Presumably a sentence genrating program wouldn't throw Random Capitalisation into THE text, unless it had crashed!

  20. Steve VanSlyck

    Not Gonna Work

    This scheme is absitively posilutely NOT gonna work if they attempt to use BEC's. Everybody knows you gotta use BEM's for this kinda stuff. They'd be well advised, and much further ahead, to just bite the bullet and use correct terminology.

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    I've seen that address ( in a few of it's posts now. methinks it's time to hunt down the owner.

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    all martians talk like that and it actually makes sense to them? Vic Reeves Big night out contained the same kind of inane randomness but at least that was funny

  23. Peter Lloyd


    I'm amazed at how contemporary physicists can deceive themselves (and others) that ideas like this have something to do with reality.

    This proposal has nothing to do with teleportation. The proposed experiment starts out with the 'transmitter' matter in one place AND the 'receiver' matter in another place. A signal is sent from 'transmitter' to 'receiver' causing the emission of 'receiver' atoms. This is not teleportation. No matter atoms have been teleported from one place to another.

    Have these so-called physicists really ever studied even high-school Physics?

  24. Peter Lloyd


    Well, he's certainly generated a lot of attention, which is presumably just what he wants. I have an original and terribly clever theory -

    He's off his trolley.

  25. Nano nano

    More pedantry

    Since the "L" in "laser" stands for "light", a "light laser" is a tautology, and an "atom laser", a contradiction.

    And I recommend that earlier posters read "Eat's shoot's and leave's" [sic] ;-)

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