back to article Website honours battling Glasgow baggage handler

A website set up to honour battling Glaswegian baggage handler John Smeaton, who magnificently waded in to prevent al-Qaeda's comedy kamikaze division raining fiery apocalypse upon the UK's airport infrastructure, has succeeded in getting grateful netizens to stick 480 pints behind the bar of the Glasgow Airport Holiday Inn for …


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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    Is that the same John Smeaton 'father of civil engineering'? Isn't he a Leodiensian, not a Glaswegion.

    I think we should be told.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    If you can read in glaswegian....

    If this had happened in a US airport, compared to Glasgow

    America: "Oh my God! There was a man on fire, he was running about, i just ran for my life. I thought i was gonna die, he got so close to me"

    Glasgow: "C*nt wis running aboot on fire, so a ran up n gave him a good boot, then decked him"

    America: "I just wanna get home, away from here. I just wanna get home, I thought i was gonna die"

    Glasgow: "Here shug, am no leaving here till am oan a f*ckin' plane!"

    America: " there was pandemonium, people were running in all directions, we didn't know what was happening thought i was gonna die"

    Glasgow: "F*ck this fir a kerry oan, moan we ll get a pint in"

    America: "We thought he was gonna blow us all up he had a gas canister, and was trying to get into his trunk, I thought we were gonna die, I just ran for my life"

    Glasgow: "a swaggered by the motor that wis on fire, and the dafty couldnae even open his boot, he wis in fire annaw so a ran up n gave him a good boot to the baws"

    America: "there was this huge explosion, it sounded like war, I thought i was gonna die"

    Glasgow: "There wis a bang, yi know when yi throw BO basher intae a fire it wis like that"

    America: "I'm too traumatized even to speak, I thought i was gonna die"

    Glasgow "here mate, gies 2 minutes till a phone ma auld dear, if am gonna be oan the telly a want her tae tape it"

    & finally, two quotes from an eye-witness.........john smeaton (these are real)

    John just surpassed himself on the National ITV news. The interviewer asked

    "What message do you have for the bombers" - he replied "This is Glasgow we'll just set about you"

    John did an interview on cnn and they asked how he restrained the guy and he said "me and other folk were just tryin 2 get the boot in and some other guy banjoed him" !

  3. Maggie


    That interview was legendary- You well deserve the bar tokens! Well done big man XX

  4. donald

    well done pal

    well done pal if there were more like you the terrorists would not try and hit the uk as a man who comes from glasgow i was shocked and horrified at saturdays events at my home town airport thanks for what you did on saturday you should have the highest order from the queen for your bravery you deserve it so mr pm give him an honour in the next batch of honours from the queen and glasgow airport give this man a wage rise he deserves it

  5. John A Blackley

    Here, here!

    Well done Mr. Smeaton! It does my heart good to see your like. And well done the phlegmatic citizens of Glasgow and Paisley! No running about like headless chickens, no screaming.

    Aye, it's true what the website says. Anybody stupid enough to get between 10,000 Weegies and a cheap weekend in Spain deserves everything they get.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    Remember that this guy probably learned his kicking technique punting passenger luggage across the airport lot....

  7. Ian Davidson

    Try someplace easier next time

    A salutory lesson to budding bombers then - Scotland is not the ideal place for part-time terrorists, jihadists and other assorted nancy boys.

    Incidently, as someone who does explosions for a day job, a big bang is a bit harder to do than you might think and I'm not at all convinced that the car bombs (at least as reported) in London would have gone as planned.

    Looks like this was the second eleven here.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Alan Johnston Released - no coincidence

    Our John has got those middle eastern extremists on the run, they've even released Alan Johnston to try and avoid a visit from The Smeatonator!

  9. Sandi


    Jack Bauer?

    More like John McClane, regular guy saves airport form terrorists.

    Yippee-ki-yay, does yer mother sew? Well get her to put a patch on that!

  10. Michael Corkery

    fairplay to all the punters who helped take them out

    Himself and the other lads involved - for all we know they might have gotten the gas off, killed the police and a few others, if it hadn't been for civic minded selflessness. He deserves the pints bigtime!

  11. Chris Goodchild

    Luggage? I doubt it.

    I doubt very much the observation that John Smeaton learned his kicking technique on luggage. Being a Glasweigian it was more likely Sunday football, rugby or after the pub on a Friday night, all good training for anti terrorist squads

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Big John

    Brilliant!!!! Big John Brilliant!!!. Am fae Pollok and we used to dish oot street justice as well. See you Osama watch yur back pal. Big John's got a new

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