Cornish separatists torch abandoned brewery

The Cornwall National Liberation Army (CNLA) has claimed a disused Redruth brewery gutted by fire on Sunday was "a training camp for setting off incendiary devices", the Cornish Guardian reports. The incident, which follows two similar fires at the site this year, comes hot on the heels of threats to target businesses belonging …

[Lickass McClippers]

Darwin's Theory at work...

"...but our membership does exceed 20."

Hopefully with a few more incidents like this, they'll whittle themselves down to none...

[Anonymous Coward]

Arrant stupidity

"attacking vehicles in Newquay which had road tax discs issued outside Cornwall"

So the grockles stop coming and paying stupid prices for tat. Where then the Cornish economy? Lackwits.

[Owen Cooper]

Tax Discs

Attacking cars with tax discs issued outside Cornwall? Presumably the modern convenience of paying for your road tax on-line hasn't quite reached that corner of the country yet...

I used to tax my car in a different county to that where I live simply because I worked there so I did it on my lunch hour. I imagine many Cornwall people do something similar.

[Anonymous Coward]

An abandoned brewery?

Whoever heard of such a thing?

[Michael H.F. Wilkinson]

Training in what? Nanotechnology of sorts?

They clearly have the technology to create a small (nano) fire in some disused, remote spot (are they not damaging relics of a proud Cornish industrial heritage?).

This hints at the reason no damaged was found on cars: it's NANO-TECHNOLOGY at work! The create damage at the scale of 0.000000001 m, completely undetectable! It's that or the damage is homeopathic (so dilute it not there).

Truly scary.

[Anonymous Coward]

Cornwall for the Cornish

If they are so anti-emmet, why aren't their commincations in Cornish?

[Anonymous Coward]

More successful tactics

Surely they should stick to their more successful tactics in the passive-aggressive vein. Such as charging London prices for pints of that sour beer they brew down there, or firing up the tractor for a trip down the main roads during change-over days.

And as for 'tax discs issued outside Cornwall' - what about those people who get them issued direct from the DVLA e.g. over t'Internet?

[Marvin the Martian]

"have been shown"?

You mean, they sent an envoy to the City of Interweb, who googled for "bomb making instructions" (but not for "fire safety") and then the entire collected army stood round, kinda Corny version of the water/wine trick?

And Lo! They were Flabbergasted! And their hair and brewery was on Fire...

[lansalot]

finally !

I don't know how long I've been waiting for an actually amusing pun from The Sun, but at last my wait is over.

And all it took was a bunch of firestarting, alleged-car-scratching, wurzels. Well done, the CNLA, say I. You could disband tomorrow and yet you'll have already served a higher purpose.

Comedy in The Sun - who'd have thunk it ?

As an alternative, they could also have gone with:

"Come 'un 'ave a go, if 'ee think 'ee oooh-aaard enough !"

[Anonymous Coward]

20 members

WOW. Even I know more than 20 people that think cornwall should be independent (I live in Cornwall, so it's not just a case of wanting to be rid of it). This group think they're special because they can start "small fires".

Anyone who understands the basics of economics knows that without tourism knows that cornwall would be just about the poorest area of the UK, and the only people who would stay are farmers and fishermen (which is not exactly a diverse gene pool), The CNLA (why not "K" for Kernow - the cornish name for cornwall) probably want this for the next stage of their plan, an army of low inteligence 7 toed mutants (their trial run has proved more succesful)

[Anonymous Coward]

From thisiscornwall.co.uk

http://www.thisiscornwall.co.uk/displayNode.jsp?nodeId=144125&command=displayContent&sourceNode=144125&contentPK=17571272

'With expertise from an organisation that burnt down English holiday homes in Wales, the CNLA warned "incomers" that it would take direct action.'

Is Cornwall's education system now so bad that they have to import people to work a pack of firelighters?

[Andy Barber]

Police involved?

"Police are now probing the matter." Surely as the CNLA is now a Terrorist organization, this is no longer a police matter; it is a matter for MI5.

[Anonymous Coward]

It is poor

"Anyone who understands the basics of economics knows that without tourism knows that cornwall would be just about the poorest area of the UK, "

It already is, Objective One status etc.. its one of the poorest and most deprived areas in Europe, 3rd world nations have it better than Cornwall.