back to article Lag caught with phone charger up jacksie

A lag at Swaleside Prison on the Isle of Sheppey was caught with an entire phone charger up his jacksie after officers noticed his "discomfort" during a search of his cell, The Sun reports. The appropriately-named Tony Pile, 22, serving a life stretch for "beating a man to death in a race hate attack in 2005", was collared …


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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    Surely the simple solution is to not give the lags a 13 amp socket in their cells!

    The recent pics I've seen of prison cells has them with colour TVs... FFS, this is supposed to be a punishment, no a bl**dy holiday camp!

    No wonder they're over crowded, they sound like a nice escape from the wife and kids for a couple of weeks... Now what can I do to get 14 days?

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Got to be done...

    So what's he going to be charged with?

    I'll get me coat.

  3. Peter

    Wind power ?

    Title says it all, really.

  4. Cameron Colley

    I can't believe you missed...

    ... the chance to joke about his surname.

  5. Brian Nevis


    You would need a fist sized block of dope to relax enough to get a UK 3 pin plug out of your jacksie. ouch!

    In other news: Prison authorities were alerted to a security breech when an inmate applied to patent the "slimline, cock-shaped universal mobile phone charger". The patent was rejected due to similarities to an existing patent held by the electronics giant ..........

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    what happen to the phone.

    Was it only the charger they found? What happened to the phone?

    I bet it was a sh*t phone anyway.

  7. Dr Jeep

    Thankfully no typos

    For some reason when I see 'jacksie' my brian reads it as 'japseye' - until the tears of sympathy pain blur the screen at the thought of a phone charger shoved in there. Ouch.

  8. cor

    Non repeat offender

    He'd already been done for "battery".


    (Ok,ok don't flame me to charcoal: I don't really think his offence was funny for the victim or their family.)

  9. cor


    He didn't have the balls to hide a Siemens phone.

    He couldn't cut it with the Motorola razr (chocolate model of course...)

    Overdoing this could Nokia out.


  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    in reply to: 'Jeeez'

    thats the issue man

    1/2 the jails are holiday homes and 1/2 are far from it.

    having spent about a year in 'chokey' (come on nobody calls it chokey and lags dont exist - and also 'snout' hasnt been used for 20+ years) i was lucky enough to spend the vast majority of my time in HMP liverpool - a Cat A jail (dangerous prisoners and normal ones) and is the biggest in europe.

    you are locked in for 23 hours a day, 1x60 minute visit A MONTH!, no leccy in cells and no electical radios (battery only), no lighters for ciggies, and playstations/tvs etc arent allowed. and the weekly monies given to all prisoners was about 2£/week. not to mention the screws stealing from cons, beating them up and generally being just as dodgy as 1/2 the people in there!

    this compared to others that allow DUVETS! (we had a sheet and no radiator), playstations, TVs, electricity, proper beds and upto 40£/week money!?!?

    please make sure you know what you are commenting on before posting. i know SOME jails are less harsh but do not trivialise time spent in PROPER jails, i have seen things you wouldnt want to see, nor could cope with. it makes me so mad when celebrities in, say, the BB house refer to it as prison. - and dont even get me started on paris hilton! :)

  11. daniel

    Tail between legs?

    Maybe the prison guards were also tipped of by his 4 foot mini-USB terminated tail he had miraculously grew...

    I can also guess how the prison doc got it out... "à la denistry"...

    "Bend over, grab your window bars, I'll tie the jack end to this open door and slam it..."

    The english 3 pinned plug is not a small and smooth affair either... Maybe he was trained with somthing else fist size by some of the other residents beforehand...

  12. Dan


    “I kissed this three-and-a-half-inch , thumb-thick tube before shoving it in my anus. It went up high into my large intestine. It was part of me. This was life and freedom I was carrying inside me – the path to revenge.”

    oh, wrong kind of charger

  13. Dillon Pyron

    Holiday camp?

    "The recent pics I've seen of prison cells has them with colour TVs... FFS, this is supposed to be a punishment, no a bl**dy holiday camp!

    There are some in the US who have suggested color TVs in every cell, food by McDonalds and Pizza Hut. They also advocate no weights or handball courts. The criminals would come out as soft butterballs instead of buff strong arms.

    Of course, McDonald's and Pizza Hut might be considered "cruel and unusual punishment". Especially the crap Pizza Hut passes off as pizza.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Something missing.

    Where's the handset then?

    Any bugger could be hiding that.



  15. David Urmston

    Sounds like a

    suitable punishment for certain of those more detestable crimes, like posting SPAM, 419 fraudsters, bot herders, paedo's and those sod's who keep shovelling Tax payers money into bogus IT projects, like the National ID scheme.


  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Dry Cell battery

    I'm surprised he had room for it up there, what with all the other stuff they have to hide; snout (usually in a tin), heroin, cannabis and who knows maybe even a hamster. Anyway, was it a trickle charger?

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    Now this really is a butt plug...

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