back to article If Google is a Russian spy op, when will it buy U-Haul?

He sat on one side of a blanket hung across the kitchen, and Smith sat on the other with his translation stones, intoning through the blanket. As if to make this an even happier scene, Harris was warned that if he tried to glimpse the plates, or look at the prophet, he would be struck dead - God is not Great by Christopher …


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  1. J

    You forgot...

    "Heaven help us all, should Chelsea develop presidential aspirations."

    How about the Bush twins? Shudder...


  2. Tre LaDormin

    on the other hand...

    Otto, everyone knows that for reliability, you need to use Ryder, not U-Haul...Ryder is the rental truck choice of terrorists (domestic and foreign) who wish to make a bang up impression. As for drugs online, just look towards your email There are hundreds, no, thousands of friendly vendors of what ever your heart (or groin) desires. Keep smiling!

    Cheers, a pint and day at Wrigley for you,


  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Another nouveau riche, ugly American

    "...I write this mostly sober from behind a one-quarter full bottle of Jack Daniels.."

    12,000 gallons hitched to a Hummer lets you talk like that. Pax America bringing in IP tribute extracted by way of patents handed out like M16s to raw recruits has made Americans gluttonously rich. Nixon took America off the Gold Standard and instantly created endless amounts of devalued American currency that should have used as wallpaper but was used instead to buy Europe on the cheap. The poor dumb bastards never figured it out.

    I liked it better when American, canary millionaires made the obligatory Grand Tour overpaying for good art with bad money. Now they brag on overpriced, southern corn liquor. Picasso said when dealing with rich Americans one should always enthusiastically accept their invitations to social affairs then at the last minute some pressing matter comes up and it's necessary to cancel. Picasso their pretentious ass.

    Honest, desperate, working people, almost comfortably drunk, look at a three quarters empty bottle of Jack Daniels from drooping eyes hanging over slack, wet lips protruding like a failing, safety net and hear the first, faint whisper from the ever parched mouth of the crazed monkey that hangs off ganglia at the base of their brain. The one, afforded, good cigar has been smoked down to a stub and all that remains is the pile of cored tobacco pulled from the cigar to make room for the skunk plug. The monkey's voice that began the night sweetly putting aside due dates and outstanding bills grows louder. The crazy monkey starts to tug on neural nets flashing images of grocery money and a last chance to make it to the late night liquor store before closing. Too drunk and stoned to make it that far that fast you sink down into the old couch and the cloying smell of the cigar and pot. The monkey rears up like a mean crack whore after the last rock has been smoked. You think about cranking one into the chamber of great granddad's 1913 and shutting the gibbering, shit throwing, little fuck up for good.

    Reporting ,almost alive, in the name of gonzo urinalism.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    U-Haul sucks, but why sue them ?

    I can understand if that "u-hawl sucks" lady was injured in the accident involving a dodgy steering rack, but bruising her knee from lifting her own crap from the back of a van into another does not necessitate a $1000 settlement.

    If I had $1000 for every bruise I ever received, lifting my own stuff I’d be a millionaire. She should call her website “Step by Step guide on how to sue U-Haul”

  5. Simon Bache

    RE: Another nouveau riche, ugly American

    Yet again - I'll have a pint of whatever he's on ....

  6. Art Jannicelli

    The other low cost Self-service hauler

    Don't forget about Budget truck rental they have comparable prices to Uhaul and much better service.

    I actually met a regional sales manager for Uhaul and he admitted that Uhaul makes it's money doing commercial rentals, so they put their very best equipment and people on making commercial customers happy.

    However, rather then having worthless stock left over when a truck no longer meets commercial standards it is demoted to the consumer fleet. This all makes sense why Uhaul treats consumers like crap with poor service and trucks.

    We just have to hope Budget doesn't get itself too wrapped up in commercial clients before it starts doing the same thing.

    For the record I have rented Uhaul 3 times and every time it was a fiasco, problems with the vehicles and they rented the truck I had reserved online cause someone arrived before me needing a truck, so essentially they got to hold my money and I got to wait a few days till they found me a truck.

    I have rented from Budget truck rental many times and there service, reservation, and trucks have been outstanding. i have actually had more problems with Budget car rental.

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