back to article US in The Long Good Friday remake outrage

Harold Shand must be spinning in his grave: Handmade Films has announced that 1980 UK gangster classic The Long Good Friday will be "refreshed" under the guiding hand of Resident Evil celluloid-botherer Paul W S Anderson. According to the BBC, this diabolical liberty is slated to start shooting in 2008 in - wait for it - Miami …

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  1. Paul

    Paul WS Anderson to direct?

    Oh dear.

    Actually come to think of it, Alien VS Predator was quite good fun. Does his 'treatment' for The Long Good Friday involve zombies? I think we should be told.

  2. Rob

    Rubbish

    "Following continued interest from the US, we realised this remake could attract audiences worldwide with an updated setting and contemporary overtones."

    Bollocks, the retirement fund needs topping up you mean.

    Everything has to be dumbed down for the Americans, I also rest my case.

  3. Roger Varley

    You should've made it Nine Words ...

    and included "The Italian Job" as well

  4. Kane Silver badge

    Shockin'? It's A Bleedin' Travesty!

    So it seems that the american (note the lower case spelling...) movie machine is yet again poaching original storylines from classic movies just to turn a quick buck...

    Why, I ask? Is it because the hollywood machine is scared to take a chance with new ideas? Hmm......

  5. This post has been deleted by its author

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Deja vu...

    This is the latest in a long list of remakes. The number of times something is a remake or a rehash of an old plot, prequels or sequels to past successes ad infinitum ad nauseaum.

    Then the music industry doing its "cover versions" which is a euphemism for "same shit different wrapper".

    Oh and surprise surprise both industries complain about reduced sales. They also both complain that priacy is to blame to cover up the real truth: nobody wants the rehashed crap they are peddling.

  7. Melmoth

    The horror, the horror

    Well, according to As A Dodo this looks like the death of one of my favourite films - see http://asadodo.blogspot.com/2007/05/long-good-friday-1980-2007.html. I say get our revenge now and remake The Golden Girls with Wendy Craig or Married with Children with Russ Abbott. Oh wait, we did that already.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Who's going to play Bob Hoskins?

    Danny De Vito?

  9. Dot5

    remake could be good

    Couldn't it - if made by a British team? I always find it odd that whenever 'Hollywood' announce a remake of a British classic people complain. If Hollywood can see a market for it, why don't Handmade? Surely a film like this (which was on TV the other week) would be excellent in a modern backdrop with modern effects and cinematography.

    Personally I would like to see the British film industry pump out a few cash makers so they can spend big budgets on true British blockbusters, instead of these oft droll and twee emotional films we grow to quietly love.

    Looking at excellent stories of these older films with a view to quickly freshen it up with current household-name actors to get cash would be a good thing for us as well, "not a bad idea that"

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Baffling

    This is as baffling as the film version of The Avengers. North American teenagers are not going to flock to a new crime film because it is a remake of The Long Good Friday; they will not know the original. Outside a small number of thirty/forty-something British men the film and its name are meaningless. It would be no less effective to make a wholly original film, or at least take the basic plot and give it a new name.

  11. Russell Sakne

    So, the IRA-analogue will be...

    ...Al-Quaeda? Kicking off on the established Cuban/hispanic Mob? Or will it just be some humdrum gangster-v-gangster kibble?

  12. Kelly Luck

    This American...

    ...loved the original. Granted, I did find some of the thicker accents hard going, but once I got the hang of it, I was fine. Bob Hoskins was flat-out amazing. If they had any sense, they'd give the original a nice theatre run over here; I'm sure it'd do at least as well as this remake will do, if not better. Oh well, another one in the bargain bin next to the color 'Psycho' and all the others of their ilk.

  13. Mike Moyle

    Re: Baffling

    "It would be no less effective to make a wholly original film..."

    This *IS* Hollywood we're talking about, right...?

  14. Joe Cooper

    Title

    "This is as baffling as the film version of The Avengers. North American teenagers are not going to flock to a new crime film because it is a remake of The Long Good Friday; they will not know the original."

    That's the thing - most won't know it's a remake, so it won't seem like an old rehash except to those "in the know", but they're working with material that's already an established success.

    Hollywood likes things that are already an established success. Unfortunately it also likes to molest them...

  15. Grant

    Your first sentence presupposes...

    ...that it is Shand, H (deceased) rather than Shand, H (sunninghimselfinspain). I firmly believe that at then end of the flick Pierce B. was simply inviting Harold out for a spot of high tea (albeit in a somewhat over exuberant manner).

  16. the Jim bloke Silver badge

    political correctness

    "Why can't they just re-release the original with subtitles for the american morons. If we can manage to understand their drawling accents, then they can deal with ours."

    This would be discriminating against american morons who cant read. not acceptable at all.

    The entire movie must be made moron-friendly, complete with canned laughter so they know which bits are supposed to be funny, a contemporary setting that even products of the american educational system would have heard of, ie someplace in the USA, and no plot twists.

    Hollywood Movies.. By morons, For morons.

  17. lardheppus

    View from across the pond

    I'm a 50 year old american (lower case to avoid offending British sensibilities) and I enjoyed The Long Good Friday about a quarter century ago, so the stereotypes as to who's seen it aren't quite accurate. I don't recall having any difficulty with the accents, so subtitles aren't required for all americans. When I worked at a theatre that specialized in foreign films, we used to joke that we should provide tape to the customers so their lips wouldn't get tired.

    I share the concerns of the others who have commented that the film will be dumbed down so teens in the US (a notoriously thick lot) won't have to think, an activity they seem to have an aversion to. That and camera angles have to be changed every ten seconds to accomodate the attention span of the average USian.

    I fully expect the remake to be a debacle, as I've heard the remake of The Wicker Man was. I think I'll watch the original again.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Re: You should've made it Nine Words ...

    " and included "The Italian Job" as well "

    A bit unfair - as retreads go, "The Italian Job" wasn't too bad - I've certainly seen a lot worse ('Rollerball 2001' anybody?). Certainly it was a lot better than I expected it to be. If you watch the remake and then the original back to back it makes the whole experience far less unpleasant :-)

    The remade 'Get Carter' on the other hand, could easily have been the first movie to have its director up in The Hague for crimes against humanity ...

  19. Conor McMenamin

    Harold knows it'll be a smash

    "I put money in all your pockets, even when you was out of order"

  20. Ishkandar

    Remakes

    For an excellent proof that a remake can ***actually*** make money and be popular is "The Magnificient Seven"; a remake of "The Seven Samurai" with a Mexican flavour !!

  21. Tinjam

    Commenting on your comments

    "This is as baffling as the film version of The Avengers. North American teenagers are not going to flock to a new crime film because it is a remake of The Long Good Friday; they will not know the original. Outside a small number of thirty/forty-something British men the film and its name are meaningless. It would be no less effective to make a wholly original film, or at least take the basic plot and give it a new name."

    I totally agree with this.... If we are going to rehash movies then at least rename them. I remember when reading reviews you used to get told things like " a remake of" or " loosely remade from". Now it is just coldhearted remakes and Hollywood just aint got the nouse to rename it.

    "For an excellent proof that a remake can ***actually*** make money and be popular is "The Magnificient Seven"; a remake of "The Seven Samurai" with a Mexican flavour !!"

    Dude, surely you are commenting on the wrong thing arent you..... read my point and many others. It needs to be renamed. Why did the Magnificent Seven work?? Because it was a remake in a different setting , with a different name. It wasnt a western with samurais running around and it wasnt an eastern with cowboys running around. It was remade WITH A DIFFERNENT TITLE, bearing no resemblannce to seven samurai.[ If you didnt know then you would have to be told something like this.] God, WAKE UP.

  22. Tinjam

    And another thing

    Martin Scorcese seems to know how to do it..... The Departed = Infernal Affairs.

    Not the same title and not the same film.... well not entirely.

    And there are many others like this.

    Thats how to do it :D

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