back to article Don't let Paris Hilton do bird

It's a well-known fact that Paris Whitney Hilton sure knows how to drum up publicity on the internet. No surprise then that in the blink of a false eyelash, over 11,000 people have already signed a petition to save the reality TV star, hotel heiress, and now convicted drunk-driver from serving 45 days in a Californian slammer …


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  1. Dan Moody

    Fight back - keep her locked away

    For those of you bitterly opposed to this proposed miscarriage of justice, sign on at

  2. Craig

    At least not in the slammer, gov

    Now that the version of 'Cell Block H' I would watch...

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Superb !

    ""I have people who do that for me," she said. "I just sign what people tell me to sign.""

    Ah, that magnificient blonditude ...

    "After all, she didn't "hurt, injure, or kill anyone or anything", and shouldn't be treated as an "example" to kids about the dangers of being on the lash while behind the wheel [SNIP]"

    Oh, the number of things that fall in this category, including her former boyfriend selling that superb piece of action movie ! He made plenty of happy gents, and however was fined. There's really no justice ...

    "Hilton, who apparently "provides beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives", is expected to be sporting stripy prison-issue pyjamas from 5 June this year. "

    Ah, yes thumbs up for that. Keep an eye on youtube for very hot stuff !

  4. David Emmett

    Throw away the key

    The sensible people of the world have attempted to strike back with their own petition:

    Sadly, with only 17 signatures, it seems that the sensible people of the world are vastly outnumbered ...

  5. Alastair Dodd

    Throw away the key

    The daft, tallentless, drink driving, wonky eyed waste of protoplasm would be better off staying in jail.

    The rest of the world would appreciate it immeasurably

  6. adnim

    Someone cares about Paris Hilton?

    Wow! My position on the human condition now has to be re-evaluated. I guess if there is one Paris Hilton on the planet, there must be others. (a forlorn sense of hopelessness fills me). Perhaps theses vacuous types all huddle together in a crisis. Perhaps they should all huddle to together on a pending landfill site and wait for a while.

    And then there's public transport, a push bike or a chauffeur.

    Perhaps she is such a mega talented star with so much to offer humanity, that we should all be rallying around lobbying for her immediate aquittal/release. After all she is a far more valid contributor to society than we NOOPs.

    Then again, she could get 45 days and have cameras following her every move inside, she could turn her incarceration into a busmans holiday. Perhaps an extended jail term could be enforced. Would we then be tuning into "The simple lifer".

  7. Steve Evans

    Awww, poor Paris

    Didn't she know... Awww diddums

    I'm sure the parents of any child she could have squashed in he drunken weave home would feel so much better about that.

    This stupid spoilt air-head needs to meet reality, the sooner the better, but please please please, we don't need a reality show about her stay, so can we just have a PH free planet for a few joyful weeks.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    umm stop crying and do your time

    Look Rich girl you anit no better then me or others who do a crime just cause your daddy owns a bunch of hotels dont make you a exception too the laws get a grip and do your time if it were anyne of us poor people who make your family rich they throw us under the jail so i have no pity for ya just act like an adult and do your time ..your not fooling me and your not as stupid as you act so give us all abreak and do your time!! have anice day :)

  9. Scottie Taylor

    Jail the trogolodyte

    The original petition to see her pardoned was just disgusting. Because Mel and Britney didn't get in trouble, Paris shouldn't either. It's typical of the sociolite fan world in general. Their idols can do no wrong and should never be forced to pay for their mistakes.

    Honestly, I hope the troglodyte gets all 45 days and then some. I think celebrities should be held to the same standards as the rest of us, if not harsher ones. They're "role models", people that for some odd reason some of us seem to look up to.

    So, yes, to reiterate, give her the maximum penalty along with the rest of her cretinous celebrity ilk. Because you can believe that no normal, non-world famous person would dare to try to petition the governor over a 45 day jail stint when they're clearly guilty. And you can be equally sure that they wouldn't have the resources to pull off this travesty, or to have thousands come to their aid.

    This entire media stunt by her is typical of the U.S. legal system as a whole. If you're famous, you'll never do much jail time, if any at all. If you're rich, the judge slaps you on the wrist, if that, because they know your overpriced lawyers and crack legal teams will surely find some minor archiac loophole to get you off, or drag the case out beyond the point of stupidity. They don't want to deal with that crap so they usually let it go. I'm glad one judge had the balls to say that the law applies to all citizens equally, rich or poor, attractive or Paris Hilton.

    And as for all of her "fans" who came to her aid? You all disgust me! Really. You're all clamoring over the title of her biggest fan. And what does that get you? Not a damned thing. She'll never thank you personally. She'll never sign your myspace. She'll forget you guys did any of this the second she's off the hook. And the worst part is you vapid bottom-dwellers will thank her for it! "Oh, that's just Paris' way. She's Paris, and we love her for it."

    Seriously, look at the facts here. She's famous for what? Flashing her bare ass all over the world in a porn tape. That was made famous only because she has a buttload of money that she was born into. And she's honestly not that attractive. She's about as attractive as a sea cow, all the depth of a kiddie pool, and the personality of a spoiled stuck up snob.

    Ask yourselves one real important question here. She didn't hit somebody this time? What if she had hit someone in your family? Your mother, your father, your brother or sister, husband, wife or kid. Or one of your friends. Would you still be clamouring for her pardon?

    "Well sure she killed somebody, ruined the lives of some people and all, but let her off the hook govenor! She's learned her lesson! Really!"

  10. Rob


    She's neither beautiful or exciting, and provides nothing to my otherwise excellent life. I vote we lock the bitch up and throw away the key. After all she is about as big a drain on society as a very big drainy thing and offers no benefit to mankind at all. Even her porn is shit and I didn't think it was possible to make boring, unwatchable porn...

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I'm rich and pretty! It's so unfair!

    My heart bleeds...

  12. Graham Marsden

    And the next video...

    Featuring Paris Hilton and Big Momma!!

  13. Stu

    Nothing new

    Lets face it going down is nothing new to Paris Hilton

  14. Haviland

    Throw away the key

    Rich semi-pro porn star gets done for drunk driving?

    My heart is bleeding.

  15. Paul Sims

    Oh how sad.....

    For god's sake - how can anyone believe the drivel this overprivelaged pain in the backside is coming out with? Yes, dump her in the slammer & stick her little doggie in the kennels. But let the dog out again.....

    It might just teach her some humility.

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Thanks for the link

    I've spent the last hour trying to find the online petition to make sure she does her time.

    It's on it's way by email to everyone I know..

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    She deserves to be put in jail. Period.

    She should be put in jail for many years and not just a few days.

    People desire to be enslaved by Paris Hilton, Britney Spears or any other rich and famous prostitue and wanting them to not be put in jail and avoid any laws out there are the real problem.

  18. Ian Rogers

    Are they really signatures

    You'll notice that the "comments" column in the pro-Paris petition is not being shown (unlike in the others).

    I wonder how many of the entries weren't really all that supportive - I know mine wasn't ;-)

  19. Tim Hale

    Why Stop There?

    Let's call for full diplomatic immunity for Paris Hilton!

    If she ran someone over it shouldn't be a problem! She adds so much to our mundane lives that person should be grateful for the publicity.

    Let's install her in Sealand!

  20. Dan

    Ignorance is not an excuse !!

    "She's neither beautiful or exciting, and provides nothing to my otherwise excellent life. I vote we lock the bitch up and throw away the key. After all she is about as big a drain on society as a very big drainy thing and offers no benefit to mankind at all. Even her porn is shit and I didn't think it was possible to make boring, unwatchable porn..."

    Evidentally you've never watched the Jordan/Katie Price porn flick. I yawned watching that, and certainly was not in the mood for any reason I might have downloaded it for.

    Paris is a nobody. She's braindead, a dumb blonde, and considers us all to be mundane. I did love her mother's rant at the Prosecution, calling them "pathetic." Hmm hang on they are lawyers which means they went out and got educations. They worked hard to get where they are and make good money because they have earned it. Unlike Ms Hilton who has inherited it, or Mrs Hilton who has married in to it. Despite what we may say about lawyers, at least they have worked hard for what they have done. What has Paris done ?

    Starred inadvertantly in a bad porn flick, and done some braindead switchover quick its that dumb blonde tv show that some braindead chav's and hicks are actually watching. (Unbelievable I know.)

    She shouldn't get 45 days, she should get 4.5 years. And if we can stick that other anorexic blonde partner of hers in there as well we can have some peace and quiet for a while :)

  21. Eddy Ito

    She'll be fine

    It is only a lousy 45 days. It isn't like they took her Bentley away too, which I think they should since she might notice that. On the upside, if the joint has got decent security it can double as rehab.

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Pro Paris?

    I find it odd that in the article, the petitions to lock her up are the ones with the least signatures. Try the one that actually has 17k - more than the original petition to let her skip.

  23. Jail Paris


    I AM SO BLOODY INSCENCED (INSENCED (INSENSED)?) (sod it, pissed off) about this that I have created a competting petition on iPetitions to make sure that she goes to Jail.

    DAMN IT ALL PEOPLE, the laws and rules apply to EVERYONE. You cannot go excusing people just because they happen to rich and famous.

    If Ms Hilton is such a freaking role model then let her prove it by accepting her jail time and serving it out as an example to one and all that if you do the crime you do the time.

    Sign the petition here:

  24. Simon Painter

    As Dan has mentioned, there is a petition afoot to counter this stupid display of fandom. If you want to see justice done and want to ensure that the rich are treated as fairly as the poor then sign up at

    We already have a few signatures but have a long way to go to match the stupid people.

  25. Rachel


    "I have people who do that for me," she said. "I just sign what people tell me to sign."

    Someone toss the petition for her to stay in jail under her nose and tell her to sign it.

    Money or fame should not be a get out of jail free card.

    She may not have hit someone this time, but if she has no respect for authority, she might next time.

    And dipstick is not the only cute or rich girl in the world.

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Now 20K to lock her up. 14K to let her go free

    And yes, the most active petition to lock her up is as you can see by it being the #1 most active petition overall on the site.

    We are all more likely to be killed by drink-drivers than by terrorists. Get that woman an orange jumpsuit!

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Bot signing

    The first link goes to the site of petition pleading for the "slap on the wrist" treatment. Once you're there, check out the Signatures tab: Some bot is auto-posting "pro" signatures. (13510-plus now.)

  28. This post has been deleted by its author

  29. Scottie Taylor

    It's gone!

    Paris' little whiney blog on her myspace page is gone, along with the thousands upon thousands of comments it generated. Poor Paris. Guess she got tired of looking at 50% of the people commenting on it telling her what a pathetic waste of oxygen she is.

    I hope the judge rescinds his previous ruling and puts her in the hole for a full 90.

    Fine her assloads of money, since that's the only thing she cares about anyway.

    Take away her liscense and have her car impounded.

    Bitches like her are lucky more common folk aren't judges. Her ass would be in the slammer before she left the court house...

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Petition duly signed

    Petition to lock her up, that is.

    Gawd, what did her last slave die of?

  31. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    Its one thing to be a total blond and flake it out.

    It's an another to brake the law...

    California has the strictist DUI laws I'm aware of.... they praticually ruin your life.

    Its also a criminal offence... not your average ticket.

    Money can't buy you your "clean" record back.

    I agree... keep the "female dog" in the jail cell. There are no fans... I have yet to encounter someone who actualy like's her.

    short of p0rn wackos... or something to that effect. I'd have to say bots are making the mole hill out of a mountain....

    Who botheres listneing to those petitions anyway.... the only ones that seem to work are physical ones... not cyberspace based ones. Wana do some good? Right the governator.... or congress...

    Better yet... the state District attorney and or judge... that should spice things up.

  32. Jack Simon


    She should get the same punishment as anyone else... although it would be far more useful to just lower the sentence and fine her mass amounts.

    If your gonna jail someone rich, you may as well help out others while doing it. Its not like 45days in jail is going to make a dramatic difference, but $150k will to others.

  33. Tom

    Get out the torch!

    An weld the door (gate) shut. That would be a start!

    Then sew up the lips. We don't need any more of her! Too bad she hasn't gotten a Darwin award yet. I can wait, but can her public?

    Give Paris Hilton a Darwin award. Let her qualify for it RIGHT NOW!


  34. James Cleveland


    How apt.

  35. Paul

    who is dumber?

    Funny how some of the people who think she's a dumb blonde can't spell...

  36. Richard Neill

    Justice is blind

    It seems to me that we ought to be strictly fair - the celebrity status should not count either for or against leniency.

    It also seems to me that a jail term for driving without a license is probably inappropriate. Jail should only apply to things which are "mala in se" (harmful) rather than things which are merely forbidden. Thus, *if* she was driving competently and soberly [but without a current permit], then this is simply a breach of regulations. Driving dangerously, or inebriatedly would be different, for then it means the person is risking harm to others.

  37. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    How can I possibly sign a petition which has, as a sentence (pun intended) ...

    "The fact that Paris Hilton didn't hit someone is irrelevant, she might of."

    "she might of" !!!

  38. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Say what!

    Paris Who?

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