back to article Serbian vampire hunters prevent Milosevic come-back

Serbian vampire hunters have acted to prevent the very remote possibility that former dictator Slobodan Milosevic might stage a come-back - by driving a three-foot stake through his heart. According to Ananova, the politically-motivated Van Helsings, led by Miroslav Milosevic (no relation), gave themselves up to cops after …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Into the ground?

    The wording implies that they found the grave, and then bashed the stake into the ground on top of it; how can they be sure that they hit his heart? Would Milosevic's heart still exist this long after death? We should be told.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "Would Milosevic's heart still exist this long after death?"

    You'd have been lucky to find it when he was alive.

  3. Ian Ferguson

    Three foot stake?

    He would have to be buried pretty shallowly for a three foot stake to reach his heart!

  4. Dillon Pyron

    Long stake

    That's one long stake, assuming the Western tradition of a 6 ft (2m now?) burial. And one hard stake, to penetrate what is probably a metal coffin. As far as his heart is concerned, sure it's still there, assuming that the autopsy didn't keep it.

  5. Dunhill

    think ..

    Only time will tell, if they succeeded

  6. Frank Bellavance

    Embalming

    Would not the embalming process replace most of his organs with fluff? Also, the embalming fluid, to my understanding, would pretty much destroy everything it touches. Would make comming back as a vampire a very unpleasent proposition.

  7. Chris Rowson

    Bag 'o' Tricks.

    After post mortem, the pathologist tends to chuck all of the organs he removed for examination into a yellow clinical waste bag, then stuffs said bag, back into the happy customer.

    This being true - the chance of the vampire hunter hitting Slobo's heart with a stake - blind, is pretty similar to the chance of a pork pie reaching its expiry date in Rick Waller's fridge.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Back once again for the renegade master

    And if he cannot come back as a vampire, is it worse for him to come back as an undead (and hollow) zombie with a lust for brains?

  9. florian mosleh

    1. Login details

    mark my words. within hours, deposed-leader-organs will be for sale on ebay for the staking.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Not straight into the ground...

    The stake is supposed to pierce the heart...and then go through the coffin into the ground beneath to make sure the vampire won't rise from the earth again.

    Instructions:

    Dig down to casket.

    Open Casket.

    Put stake against chest.

    Hit with hammer. (Repeat until vampire gore stops)

    Close lid

    Fill in dirt.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Dubya

    There's an even bigger vampire in Washington sucking the blood out of the nations young to feed his rich friends.

  12. Louis Cowan

    pandora's box

    Can vampires not die of starvation? Surely years under the earth would see any reappearance of count milosovic as pretty short lived?

  13. Martin

    Did someone say "Heart"?

    Yes, all very well and good. But did this man actually have a heart?

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It was a performance

    Please do get serious!

    The guy didn't really thrust the stake through the coffin. His sole intention was to warn the society against the current revival of Mr Milosevic' legacy among certain Serbian politicians. After posing for a couple of photographs, “Serbian Van Helsing” went to the police and talked to the press. He succeeded in declaring his political message to the Serbs, but you guys have taken his symbolic act literally.

    By the way, Milosevic' grave is overcast in concrete and there is a heavy marble plate on top.

    .

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