Can you download it to me – in an envelope with a stamp?

I was only trying to collect a package from the counter. No, officer, I don't know why the post office is littered with broken glass. And teeth. Yes, officer, it might help if I start from the beginning. Let's have a look back on how it all started... … a look back… look back… back… [SFX: rippling video, sweeping of harp …

[Spamfast]

Whilst I enjoyed and agreed with many of the comments on this piece from my fellow Brits concerning lousy service in France, Belgium, [insert least favourite Johnny Foreigner here] and their general impoliteness, I can't help feeling many of you are forgetting how crap a lot service is in the UK and how obstructive and downright rude post office, bank, retail, bus, railway & law enforcement employees regularly are to their own countrymen.

Most foreign visitors or recently arrived immigrants to the UK have some grasp of the local language - usually far better than Brits abroad - but perhaps with a thick accent or requiring simpler vocabulary. Imagine how they get on with the already surly and crap service from UK staff. Actually, I don't have to imagine - I've see it in Bournemouth and London repeatedly.

[Graham Newton]

I've seen it in Oxford. A foreign student was told his package was "artonvan". When he left rather looking rather confused the post office guy said to everyone waiting "I told him as clear as I could".

[Anonymous Coward]

Ah, Oxford...

When faced with someone looking a bit foreign they tend to start with Sumerian and then work forwards.

[strum]

CIX

Er, CIX had binmail (binary mail), quite early. I joined in 1989.

[amanfromMars 1]

For a SMARTR Populace ...... NEUKlearer HyperRadioProACTive IT is Practically Virtually Free. *

Share something interesting here on El Reg and IT Delivers those thoughts practically instantly available everywhere.

Trying to keep folk deliberately undereducated is surely an Indictable Offence and Monstrous Crime against All Humanities ‽ . Best not to get caught in the future with that collapsed enterprise, is excellent advice in a final warning to such as prefer ignorance to reign without future knowledge ...... novel thoughts realised and presented with future virtual action

* The Worth/Value of that is Inestimable and worth every last red cent and dodgy dollar spent cornering captivating markets :-)

[amanfromMars 1]

Re: For a SMARTR Populace ...... NEUKlearer HyperRadioProACTive IT is Practically Virtually Free. *

For example ........

amanfromMars [1909081543] …… enquires on https://www.zerohedge.com/news/2019-09-07/america-loses-asia-pacific-full-spectrum-dominance-continues-fail

J’accuse.

Rather than use this information to propose a new security doctrine premised on cooperation and dialogue as China has offered on countless occasions, the report’s authors join the fantasy world of Esper calling instead for a “collective defense” strategy akin to a Pacific NATO, whereby all of America’s Pacific allies could join in an anti-Chinese military alliance together, and relieving America of the burden of carrying WWIII on its own.

Are those choices guilty of being certifiably mad? And ideally really only for the psychopathically inclined and fundamentally confused?

Is that who China are dealing with when venturing into talks with Uncle Sam?

You have to admire their stoic resistance and persistence. Not many would be so gracious and understanding.

[Psmo]

Re: For a SMARTR Populace ...... NEUKlearer HyperRadioProACTive IT is Practically Virtually Free. *

J'accuse

You'll go blind if you reply to yourself too much.

[amanfromMars 1]

Re: For a SMARTR Populace ...... NEUKlearer HyperRadioProACTive IT is Practically Virtually Free. *

More critical information is oft required, Psmo, and especially so whenever Everything you can Imagine is at Stake.

And as to your claim, well I just don't see it. :-)

The extra chatter is further instruction in virtual programming. And in the Bigger AI Picture Arena, a RealRedHotFutures Commodity in Advanced IntelAIgent Channels.

Think PleasureRobots Satisfying Tempting Insatiable Desire with Almighty Pleasures and y'all know where that come from and what their drivers desire.

However ...... that may be a Fundamentally False Assumption ..... and many have no notion of the powers they can wield to Create Brave New Virtualised Worlds ....... Places on Earth Created in Space and Presented Below in Future Monumental Works ....... InterNetional AIdVentures ‽ .

That at its extremes would suggest just an almighty few in need of upping their great games for worlds are catastrophically vulnerable to the antics of Global Communication Controllers.

Sound proven correct advice is ..... Employ the Best of the Best for the Rest and AI and IT take Care of Everything for You.

:-) I appear to have veered off into a number of parallel tangents there ....which be full of awards that reward worthy winners as saintful sinner and/or sinful saint rather than just drowning enterprise in mountains of flash cash which can be burned or turned to Greater IntelAIgent Games Use.

[Trygve Henriksen]

I just WISH a human had anything to do with my package...

One package I've been waiting for has now been travelling between Oslo and Bodø(central and northern Norway) for nearly 3 weeks.

What a pity that I live almost smack dab in the middle, then...

Support expect that it'll be returned to China 'soon' as it has been so long since it should have been delivered...

Until then it will continue to zip back and forth between two large, automated sorting centers, never arriving at my local post office because of what may be a slightly smudged address label... (most probably, a 6 is being misread as an 8 )

[Celeste Reinard]

5 years of therapy...

It all comes flooding back to me... The tears.... the insults... the broken furniture... the sunshine over the deep blue waters of the mediterranean. The happy moments we shared... Dancing in the street at night, crying with joy... naked. In the rain.

~ ~ ~ Start waves ~ ~ ~

It must have been 2005.... I was a gardener, at a hotel, somewhere near California, Cannes. ... Insert your card 20 times, and maybe you are lucky.

~ ~ ~ end waves ~ ~ ~

The good news is that I can go shopping for new furniture tomorrow!

No, I am joking. The therapy was really a succes. Smashing, even. I can even look at a carte postale (there I go again) of Nice without trembling. My mind is totally unwarped. Un-Bend. De-corrupted. Most of the time. I am even allowed outside these days. Buy an apple with real money. Not the one that you can hurt yourself with. The money made out of papier maché, all chewed by myself. O dear, I start buffering again. ... And I lost the connection to reality - again. Thank god it's raining again and I have a reason to dance in the streets. Naked.

-

Yes, mr Dabbs is right. And he is totally innocent, officer. You can stop beating him. ... And no, I can assure you he is fine being unconscious. He's my friend. I know him. We do this all the time... It's something in the water. The dolphins, probably. Just stop beating.

[CrazyOldCatMan]

Re: 5 years of therapy...

The dolphins, probably

Dodgy coves those dolphins. They come across as cute and cuddly to hide the fact that, in many ways, they are apex predators.

They have those teeth for a reason y'know.

[Anthidote]

Postal Automation

I work for the German Post office - yellow van courier service consortium that you used, in the in house group IT division. I'm in *nix operations so obviously the only job I'm automating away really is my own. I know from the devs that I'm talking to that pretty much everything you can imagine is fully automated already except last mile delivery. There are several tricky aspects with last mile. For one it's not a company wide solution. The company delivers packages to some let's say less developed areas where any robot would be abused or stolen along with the contents. Also in terms of labor costs while automating away a German, Dutch or French letter carrier is potentially very profitable. Automating away a Columbian or Senegalese one is extremely unprofitable. There are many other challenges one of which is most customers actually value receiving their mail and packages from a human. I know that seems weird to us, but that's the reality. BTW our helldesk hates French couriers with a passion mostly reserved for war criminals.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Postal Automation - a German, Dutch or **French letter** carrier

If you keep expecting them to deliver French letters of course you must expect some choice language.

Faut pas chercher pour comprendre...

[Olivier2553]

Re: Postal Automation

But you may be surprised to find out that the non automated Columbian or Senegalese post office is working more reliably, and smoothly, albeit slowly than your automated counterpart.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Postal Automation

My French Letter carrier has no performance issues whatsoever.

None at all.

Why, who did you talk to?

[Updraft102]

"Can you download it to me..."

Why no, I can't. No amount of receiving data will result in transmitting some other data.

[billdehaan]

Persuading software

Does anyone here remember the tedious regularity of having to persuade your terminal software to pick up an interrupted upload/download from where it left off rather than starting it all over again from the beginning?

You mean replacing XModem and YModem with TeLink, and later ZModem?

Yes, yes, we do.

As for downloading via snailmail, remember the old maxim to "never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon filled with magtapes barrelling down the freeway".

[earl grey]

in a former life

" "never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon filled with magtapes barrelling down the freeway".

I sometimes had to drive a station wagon filled with 51 column punch cards from our data center to another location a couple of hours away for them to process. If you haven't had the pleasure of actually driving a station wagon (no matter how loaded with little to no control or real traction at the rear) down an icy, snow-slicked pavement, you actually haven't driven (lol, but it was more scary than fun).

On the other hand, I can't complain about my local postal carriers. The government has done everything possible to f-over the postal service, but the local carriers have been hard working, competent, and courteous. I can't always say the same for other delivery services (especially the one which left a box of meds over at a neighbor's barn.). Guess it's hard to see the house at the end of the driveway with your head up your arse.

[Flywheel]

Eff Tee Pee

persuade your terminal software to pick up an interrupted upload/download from where it left off rather than starting it all over again

.. or downloading an early version of Linux using FTP in ascii mode instead of binary and then wondering why it won't install .... those were The Days.

[Anonymous Coward]

If the story was set in certain other countries (not only Russia) I would have no hesitation in identifying that the guy was angling for a bribe, first up front "make it worth my while" then a second try "see what a great help I've been! how fortunate you are that I was here to help, I'm your best mate and this is thirsty work" .

No idea whether that's how the French system operates but I expect someone else can confirm or deny.

[Anonymous Coward]

identifying that the guy was angling for a bribe

I'm afraid not. As a reminder, PAYE in France is two years old and was subject to much protest, mostly by those playing tax games (usually retiring early and continuing to work cash-in-hand). In general The System, whether the Post Office or government, is something to be either followed religiously or avoided.

Making processes functional? Modernising government? Digitising? Mais quoi ?

AC as I do earn my living here.

[Julifriend]

Virgin Media in the UK have an option when to allow you to install kit yourself when you upgrade. One of the delivery options is Click And Collect from a local grocery store. I chose this option to make life easier for me. Big mistake. The store requires a reference number to release the parcel and neither Virgin Media nor their couriers provide one. It took me four visits to convince the store owner to hand over my new cable modem and Tivo box. Never again.