back to article Huge if true... Trump explodes as he learns open source could erode China tech ban

The Register has obtained the following transcript of a recent White House conversation between US President Donald Trump and advisors regarding the ban on American technology reaching Huawei. We, of course, cannot reveal our sources. Having said that, we were tipped off to the existence of a since-deleted GitHub repo …

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          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            "Maybe we need an "I'm serious, no honestly, [..]"

            To do that they would need a self-awareness of its implausibility.

      1. Toni the terrible Bronze badge

        You can lead a whore to culture but you cannot MAKE her think

    1. theOtherJT Silver badge

      My favourite expression of Poe's law

      "Any sufficiently advanced parody is indistinguishable from a genuine kook"

      And these days the kooks are really, REALLY out there. Even *with* the footnote this will set off a bunch of loonies should they ever read it.

    2. P. Lee

      The article was funny, but the number of downvotes you got from asking for more subtly is a sign of the times.

      El Reg used to look like a site run by techies with a journalistic interest. Now it appears to be some journalists with a tech-based business plan.

      The article has a lot of comments. In the old days it would be all people riffing off the article with jokes of their own. Now its just a few at the top with the rest yelling "orange man bad!"

      I hope El Reg takes note of what is happening to Vice, Vox, Buzzfeed et al. and changes course before the political infection gains such a hold that it would rather die than change. Count the number of comments for/against Trump. Look at the how the population voted. Then ask where the other half of your readership went.

      1. Glen 1

        "orange man bad!"

        But orange man *is* bad.

        "Look at the how the population voted"

        No amount of votes can change the laws of physics.

        Yes, this is a tech site, but it reports on things based in reality. Those are not things that can escape from politics. You might have a different opinion to me as to big gov vs small gov, but you only have to have ears to hear that Trump doesn't know what he's talking about a lot of the time (and that's being charitable).

        We all bemoan clients and managers not having a clue. "cup holder doesn't work", "the client accepted the mock up of the UI, so that means you're nearly finished, right?". Trump is that times a thousand. The fact that he has people cheering in him on, is like people defending "Mr Cup Holder". It's initially hilarious how clueless people seem to be. Followed by terrifying when you realise they are being serious...

        Then you try to pushback with things like "facts" and "reality".

        "That's not a cupholder", "The mock up is not the application", "Saying Mexico will pay for a wall shows a fundamental lack of understanding how economics/import tariffs work", "Injecting bleach is bad".

        Imagine having explain to your boss these things, only to be told it is "fake news", that the bullshit they told the client was an "alternative fact", and is now *your* problem to make a reality.

        If mocking clueless bosses/users is a sport. Mocking politicians is merely an extension. Finding people *even here* actually sticking up for the clueless (whichever side you're on).... is how flame wars start.

        In Summary: We have mercifully few anti-vaxers, quite a few climate change denialist (distinct from sceptics). A few who still believe in trickle down economics on an intellectual level. Then there's Bombastic Bob and codejunky. If they are about, anyone you'd care to namecheck from the other side of the isle?

  1. Franco

    Can I sneak the code out of the USA if I inject the sauce? Asking for a friend.....

  2. B83
    Paris Hilton

    Sauce

    Yep, very good it did make me laugh. Not to be taken seriously at all although there are a few who would.

    On another note, we do laugh at Trump, unless you are a Trump supporter, but he could be the most influential President since Roosevelt took America into the Second World War. I've just read an article, a believable one, about the restrictions of exports for silicon chips to China, this could be the drive of a distinct difference between Asia and the rest of us in Tech. Some say this is a bit of a nightmare scenario that leads to two different tech races in years to come and its all started by Trump.

    I would love to be able to see what history makes, 100 years from now, of this whole scenario we are in at the moment Coronas and all.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Taiwan

    The most likely reason why Taiwan has not been invaded for decades is that it was too useful to the PRC.

    Block this and who knows what might happen

  4. ThomH

    "Huge if True... Trump [...] learns"

    That would indeed be unprecedented.

    1. Bill Gray
      Headmaster

      Re: "Huge if True... Trump [...] learns"

      Actually, no. It would be unpresidented.

  5. VulcanV5

    Kudos to journalist responsible for this

    I had thought, when reading this, that it was a fiction devised to discomfort The Chosen One. However, I now realise it's all factual reportage, as signalled by the quote: "This is the stupidest thing I’ve heard since they told me I can’t buy Greenland or nuke a hurricane."

    As only a fat pig-ignorant narcissistic sociopath could ever have made a remark like that, there can be no doubting the truth.

    Well done Mr Sharwood. May the big purple spotted Stealth Anti-Tracing Intelligence Remote Exfiltration machine long continue.

  6. The Dogs Meevonks Silver badge

    Can it really be called 'satire'

    Can it really be called 'satire' if it's entirely believable that this happened?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Can it really be called 'satire'

      It is satire because it was clearly marked "SATIRE" both as a backcronym and full text.

      Other than that it was totally plausible.

  7. Danny 2

    Joke Alert please

    The cats haven't had any treats for a couple of days, which was a mistake. Jet is the kind of cat pigeons land beside to feed because he is not threat unless you trip over him in the dark. Miko by contrast is a serial bird killer, a persistent deadly threat within twenty metres. The cruise missile of cats. She caught one in the garden before I was awake and dad went out to stop her, but he's doddery so she brought it into the house and released it.

    So I woke up to an injured bird behind the kitchen units. As you do, in a mad house in a mad world.

    A nurse was coming to check on my mum and just in the nick of time because my mum had just spotted the cat with the bird and ran after them shrieking just as he arrived. It looked like her third heart attack but I couldn't do anything because it was just too funny to react to. Apparently her blood pressure is 190, so bad. The nurse went looking for a bird, which isn't a service I didn't expect the NHS to provide. Nice young man but not great at hunting birds. Luckily we have Miko, the cause and solution to the problem

    My mum was swearing about my dad. I'm never marrying. I don't even care if I survive longer than the bird, because toothache. Birds don't get toothache.

    I'm increasingly queasy about death and dying things, I never used to have such qualms.

    Fifteen years ago an activist with MS told me she could no longer keep her chickens but she couldn't bring herself to kill them. I replied no problem, I'll kill them for you. I totally misread that, I'm fairly certain she was wanting me to care for them. Our relationship never really recovered from that.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Joke Alert please

      Please tell me I've missed something here.

      1. Danny 2

        Re: Joke Alert please

        No, that's all. You may have missed the point but anonymous cowards cant expect to have help with that.

        Want a song applicable to the situation?

        Andy Stewart - Donald Wheres Your Troosers

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4yw0bLHTOb0

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Joke Alert please

        What you missed was the need for a cathartic release of the 'Great mental burden' Danny 2 was under.

        It was not only useful, to him, but also a snapshot of the daily life many of us are living under now during COVID-19 global epidemic [part 1].

        I found it funny and strangely familiar ...... I thought only I had days like that !!!

        I hope Danny 2 is now feeling much better and can return to his full time job as 'Health Minister' :) ;)

        1. This post has been deleted by its author

  8. KBeee
    Joke

    Was this S.A.T.I.R.E. report before or after Trump renamed the San Andreas Fault into Chinas Fault?

  9. W. Anderson

    Trump's ignorance bespeaks a national intelligence deficit

    Even if part or most of this exchange between Trump and his advisors are true, it remains plausible that no-one in that room has any intelligent or cogent idea what "Open Source Software" really is, particularly because they all use term "..give away" as if Open Source Software is "owned" by some corporation or government. Hot Sauce for his Chicken wings, that's another issue.

    I have been in professional technology consulting and solution provision for more than twenty five years, specializing in Free/Open Source Software (FOSS) which has a definitive description on Wikipedia, and still, to this date most of those in technology especially involved with Microsoft Windows all their careers have no concrete concept what-so-ever of the true nature of FOSS, and could not articulate it even if you were to pay them.

    Such is the general ignorance of a significant part of most societies, particularly in North America, whether technology users, politicians or average business owners, even though FOSS is infrastructure for most every bank, Financial Stock Exchange, NASA, all largest technology firms - Microsoft (yes), Google, Facebook, Twitter, IBM, Yahoo, most of USA Fortune 1000, national rail systems, US Defense Dept, Supercomputer research, Artificial Intelligence,Aerospace Industry, universities, etc, etc.

    Fortunately the opposite is mainly true for Europe and many countries in Asia, where FOSS is mandated for several government regulations in Education and public services. Maybe it's because they use the Metric system - :), which is only explanation on earth that I can conclude for these jurisdictions being so much more ahead of USA, and more generally advanced in STEM/technology - like for Math, Engineering, Science and acceptance of Truth and Climate Change - and as a civilization compared to USA.

  10. Yes Me Silver badge
    Joke

    "Trump explodes"

    For a moment, I was filled with hope.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    How incredibly dull.

  12. cortland

    Tsk, tsk...

    You were doing SO well... until the giveaway at the last.

    You could have milked this for WEEKS.

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