back to article We're in a timeline where Dettol maker has to beg folks not to inject cleaning fluid into their veins. Thanks, Trump

Reckitt Benckiser Plc, the British maker of disinfectants Lysol and Dettol, had to hastily issue a statement this morning telling people not to ingest or inject their cleaning products in the hopes of fending off coronavirus. This came just hours after the world watched slack-jawed as the President of the United States …

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            1. sanmigueelbeer Silver badge

              Re: POTUS Supporters

              North Korea (allegedly) did... To the first cases in the country... No sorry, it was the carriers that got shot.

              NK Official: I've got your COVID-19 test result.

              Patient: Am I positive or not?

              NK Official: It was nice knowing you, comrade.

              <BANG!>

          1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

            Re: POTUS Supporters

            Maybe that's why it's essential to keep gunshops open in the US.

          2. jake Silver badge

            Re: POTUS Supporters

            You're more likely to survive shooting the virus than shooting bleach ...

          3. Uncle Slacky Silver badge

            Re: POTUS Supporters

            Obligatory XKCD: https://xkcd.com/1217/

        1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

          Re: POTUS Supporters

          "So don't get on their lawn and try to tell them that they should not drink Lysol while sitting in a UV sunbed"

          I wouldn't even try. I'm a biologist; I think evolution by natural selection works.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: POTUS Supporters

            Apparently 8% of UK voters in a survey believed 5G spread coronavirus.

            As a biologist, is there any way you can think of that would allow this belief to give a prod to natural selection? Asking on behalf of the Bavarian Illuminati.

            1. Gordon 11

              Re: POTUS Supporters

              Apparently 8% of UK voters in a survey believed 5G spread coronavirus.

              Some of them believe there is no Coronavirus at all, and the whole thing is just a ploy so that the Government can implant a tracking device in everybody (and every body) under the guise of a vaccination.

              The fact that this would require every NHS worker in the country to be in on the scam seems to pass them by.

              Not sure what they think has happened to those who have died.

              1. Anonymous Coward
                Anonymous Coward

                Re: POTUS Supporters

                Obvious - they found out the truth and have been eliminated.

            2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

              Re: POTUS Supporters

              "As a biologist, is there any way you can think of that would allow this belief to give a prod to natural selection?"

              The NHS could deny them treatment when they catch coronavirus or anything else, from ingrowing toenail upwards.

        2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

          Re: POTUS Supporters

          "Anti Vaccination"

          Has anyone modelled the projected population growth of ant-vaxxers over the next 12 months?

      1. cdrcat

        > might do us all a favour and Darwin themselves out of the gene pool

        One needs to kill oneself before spawning, otherwise ones death has piss all Darwinian effect (kin selection matters, but stupidity matters more).

        1. Uncle Slacky Silver badge

          Darwin Award can also apply to people who are alive but have lost their ability to reproduce (due to their award-winning actions).

    1. cornetman Silver badge

      Listening to him randomly droning on makes George W Bush look fairly smart. Now I didn't think I would ever be able to say that.

      What is it about USians that they keep voting in complete morons? He doesn't even have the self-awareness to realise that most of the people in the press room are inwardly facepalming.

      1. IGotOut Silver badge

        "What is it about USians that they keep voting in complete morons? "

        A corrupt political system.

        When you have a choice of rich moron A and rich Moron B, you take your chances.

        At least in the UK with have caps on spending, so we get a choice of several morons.

        1. Teiwaz Silver badge

          When you have a choice of rich moron A and rich Moron B, you take your chances.

          Sounds plausible.

          But it was fairly obvious from the start that he was the butter side down toast, no contest.

          1. Dagg
            Facepalm

            When I was in the states years ago I remember being told "A fool and their money is soon elected!"

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          At least in the UK with have caps on spending, so we get a choice of several morons

          Yes, spoilt for fucking choice unfortunately...

      2. Bloodbeastterror

        @cornetman

        Yes, entirely correct. I thought that GWB was an appalling dunderhead and rejoiced when America overcame its inherent racism to elect Obama, a man of culture, elegance and thoughtfulness. Then Trump... Nuff said.

        Then I saw an interview with GWB a couple of years ago and he had become the statesman I wish he'd been able to be during his presidency. Not of Obama's standard, but a whole lot better than the pressures of the presidency allowed (I'm trying to be generous here).

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Not of Obama's standard

          I was an Obama-man like most liberals (scum as we are) around the world, but then, when he got that Nobel peace price, while his Obama-land waged a couple of sizeable wars, and then, what happened with Snoden (TRAITOR! TRAITOR! TRAITOR!), I kind of took off these rose-tinted glasses :(

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          I have read that the GWBs hang out with the Obamas (who else is there to reminisce with?), perhaps it's catching.

      3. Version 1.0 Silver badge

        What is it about USians that they keep voting in complete morons - in fact Hillary got more votes than Trump but the Republicans have been redrawing the voting boundary's for years (it's called Gerrymandering) so you see a lot of states with a majority of Democrat votes but a majority of Republican senators and congressmen. For example Louisiana has a Democrat governor but Republicans hold majorities in both chambers of the state legislature.

        Plus there's the Will Rodgers quote which has defined American politics for years, "I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat."

      4. Joe Dietz

        Ahem, _we_ didn't vote him in. He _lost_ the election by 3.5 millionish votes. The Electoral College voted him in.

        1. Chris G Silver badge

          "The Electoral College voted him in"

          Oh, you mean that supposed buffer that is intended to avoid the uneducated masses from voting in a Populist candidate?

      5. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        "makes George W Bush look fairly smart"

        He even makes John Prescott sound as if he speaks well constructed sentences.

      6. jake Silver badge

        "What is it about USians that they keep voting in complete morons?"

        Probably the same thing that causes much of the rest of the developed world to keep voting in complete morons. Or is your country of choice exempt?

        1. Tom 38 Silver badge

          To be frank, Boris Johnson is a twat, but he is no moron. He is extremely erudite, a competent debater, well read and informed, and very very sharp. He uses those skills to be a twat, but he does have them. To be a senior politician in most countries in the developed world, you must have these skills - if you do not, you would not reach the senior levels.

          This "Boris the Buffoon" persona is an attempt to disarm his opponents, to make them underestimate him.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Within his family he is called "Alex" and "Boris" is known to be his assumed persona for politics.

            But he is not very erudite. He is fairly good at rhetoric, which they teach you at Eton and the Oxford Union, he has Murdoch and the Barclays behind him, but as his tutors and editor have said, he is lazy and fact-averse. He is just about educated enough to fool people who are not well educated into thinking that he is, but concealing it.

            Harold Wilson, in a day before the Internet, was extremely erudite, a brilliant statistician, and quite good at pretending not to be. I suspect history will treat him much more kindly than it will Johnson.

            Trump has learned one lesson and learned it well; saying stupid stuff on a big platform keeps your opponents out of the media. Bleach injections drive Biden out of the public eye. It really works, if your goal is to be re-elected.

            1. Nick Ryan Silver badge

              BoJo is 100% about BoJo - every message from him starts with "I", or comtains "me"... never "we". He has zero capacity to give a shit about anyone else other.

              Humurous buffoon and all that aside... this is the charmer that had his PA buy his wife her birthday, anniversary and christmas presents. Every year.

    2. Version 1.0 Silver badge

      Word Salad? You mean like "Crazy Orange Village Idiot Disease"?

      1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        "Word Salad? You mean like "Crazy Orange Village Idiot Disease"?"

        Just remember, by the time the next election is over, of heaven forfend, the end of the next one, some village will be getting their idiot back. It could be yours!

        1. jake Silver badge

          Not mine.

          At that point, the former Idiot in Chief will be spending time in NYC and Palm Beach, both about as far from me as he can possibly get in the Lower 48 ... Thankfully.

    3. oiseau Silver badge
      Flame

      Mused?

      He mused aloud in what is basically word salad ...

      Oh, I see ...

      The same way you are also musing bullshit salad now?

      O.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Mused?

        People downvoting "oiseau" should probably re-read the message he/she is replying to!

    4. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      "He mused aloud in what is basically word salad"

      Which is a very dangerous thing for a man in his position to do. If everyone else were to do the sensible thing - discount all his blurtings by 100% it wouldn't matter but unfortunately that isn't going to happen.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        He is obviously not considering the fact that the mere mention of this will cause some of the terminally stupid to Darwin themselves by drinking/injecting toxins when he is relying on their votes in November.

    5. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      "Trump didn't tell anybody to inject or drink anything."

      I completely agree with the first part of what you said. He never actually, quite, says that this is something people should try. But he's "musing out loud" in front of a vastly large audience in such a way as to strongly suggest something while leaving wiggle room to plausibly deny it later. He's a master of the "won't someone rid me of this turbulent priest" situation. And like in that original situation, people can die because of those musings. At the very least, he's irresponsible, especially for someone in an influential position.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Surely, to be irresponsible you have to start with a sense of responsibility. Actually, I'll go further, you need sense.

        He was right in on respect, though - drinking disinfectant will be a step forward as it should cut down R0. It could even be classed as a cure as Covid-19 will not need to be mentioned on the death certificate.

        Also, didn't somebody mention heat - cremation could also be tried as a cure...

    6. Tom 38 Silver badge

      Trump didn't tell anybody to inject or drink anything.

      He mused aloud in what is basically word salad ... but he certainly didn't tell anybody to inject or drink anything.

      holmegm, when you've gone to the effort of justifying what his statements, how does it make you feel when he now says he did say that, but he was trolling the media, to see what they would do?

      Does it make you feel happy ("haha owned those stupid lib media"), or do you die a little inside?

      Does he both "tell it how it is", and also need explanation of "what he really meant when he said this was .."? Is the enemy both weak and pitiful, but also strong and feared?

    7. oiseau Silver badge
      FAIL

      Of course not ...

      Trump didn't tell anybody to inject or drink anything.

      Is that right?

      It would seem that a good number of those anybodies to whom he didn't tell to inject or drink anything actually thought otherwise and being fellow dimwitts, they followed suit.

      O.

    8. Andrew Moore

      A little embarrassing- he's actually admitted to say it but trying to shrug it off as being "sarcastic",

  1. This post has been deleted by its author

  2. cornetman Silver badge

    Listening to Trump droning on, makes me think of that slightly drunk older relative at the family get-together that has somehow got hold of the microphone and everyone is silently hoping that they would just .... stop. Please.

    That poor woman must have been really wishing for the proverbial hole to swallow her up.

  3. mark l 2 Silver badge

    It beggars belief that the most powerful man in the free world (and you could say most influential because of his position) doesn't know that injecting or ingesting disinfectant is not a sensible thing to do. My 9 year old nephew has more common sense than Trump.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      I'd give them the benefit of the doubt that someone said "we are developing a cure that is derived from disinfectant, and seeing if it can be used as an antiviral" and he ran with it and spouted rubbish.

      You *can* do that in a business meeting. "Hey, Jimmy said about making the posters, red, let's also add some big stars and a trumpet to it", you can't at a *medical briefing* "Hey, Dr Jimmy said about using some anti-virals, lets run with it, also give the patient the chemo, the adrenaline, and just to be safe a lobotomy!!!"

      1. Robert Sneddon

        Miracle Mineral Solution

        aka MMS. It's a snake-oil substance that some Evangelical grifters in the US sell, claiming it can cure everything from cancer to homosexuality and even socialism. When added to water MMS makes a bleach-like substance. It has been used on autistic kids, administered by enema because of Andrew Fucking Wakefield and his obsession with children's intestines being the source of some kind of bacteria that causes autism.

        The story is that the purveyors of this stuff sent President Trump a letter a couple of days ago announcing the cure to COVID-19 was this bleaching agent hence the President's deranged word salad outburst last night.

        At least one US State health department in Maryland has already fielded dozens of calls and email enquiries about the efficacy of drinking or inhaling bleach to cure COVID-19.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Miracle Mineral Solution

          Drinking bleach will cure any ailment you have, after drinking it you'll never get sick again.\

          IOW don't do it you'll die.

    2. Andy Non Silver badge

      Credit to Trump for one thing though; I didn't think it was possible I could ever have a lower opinion of him, but he's managed it with the injecting disinfectant thing. I'm now absolutely convinced he's a total twat and a moron, no lingering doubts left. I fear for America and the rest of the world with that nut job in control.

      1. Scroticus Canis
        Holmes

        "a total twat and a moron" - too much credit ...

        ... a twat at least has some depth, while a moron has an IQ between 60-79. Trump has no depth and he is not that smart.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: "a total twat and a moron" - too much credit ...

          Moron is a prophet in the Book of Mormon, along with Ether.

          I mention this because Joseph Smith demonstrated so thoroughly that yes, much of the population really is that illiterate and stupid, that Trump was just a throw of the dice away.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Dare I suggest

    That the stable genius, being the smartestest and most important man in the universe, be the first to be administered these treatments? I assume they'll act as a vaccine as well, but he'll know for sure.

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