back to article Home Office seeks Brexit tech boss – but doesn't splash the cash

The reality of the mammoth task facing the Home Office in preparing for Brexit appears to have sunk in – the department is seeking a technology lead for the UK’s exit from the European Union. They will be in charge of overseeing the EU Exit programme, which the Home Office described as "a layer of IT-enabled change that sits …

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  1. Oneman2Many

    Has the government outsourced this to anybody yet ?

  2. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

    What's going on with these comments?

    Not one single, "don't you dare criticise our glorious brexit, you traitorous unbelieving remoaners" type post.

    @CodeJunky, where are you?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: What's going on with these comments?

      "@CodeJunky, where are you?"

      You have to say his name 3 times for him to appear.

      1. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

        Re: What's going on with these comments?

        Maybe the contract with his Russian handlers has expired?

        1. Aladdin Sane Silver badge

          Re: What's going on with these comments?

          Maybe him and Bob are interviewing for the job?

    2. codejunky Silver badge
      Pint

      Re: What's going on with these comments?

      @ Loyal Commenter

      "@CodeJunky, where are you?"

      As you miss me so much why not. You probably dont see many of those posts because this is an article on government screwup or daft job etc and Croyden. As far as I have seen both remain and leave criticize this government plenty, So since this doesnt really seem to bother brexit, just another example of government skill and ability why would you see many posts like you miss?

      Just sit back and enjoy the poking of fun at the gov and Croyden. Not everything has to be about blaming Russians and crying into your EU branded mug.

      1. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

        Re: What's going on with these comments?

        Looks like my troll bait worked.

        Having seen this one though, I think I'll throw it back. It's clearly still a juvenile.

        1. codejunky Silver badge
          WTF?

          Re: What's going on with these comments?

          @ Loyal Commenter

          "Looks like my troll bait worked.

          Having seen this one though, I think I'll throw it back. It's clearly still a juvenile."

          I am not sure if I am flattered or should feel pity. You miss me so much you have to ask for me or your life is so unfulfilled without some EU arguing that you have to troll. I wish you the best and I hope things look up soon.

          1. nsld

            Re: What's going on with these comments?

            Ah the demonic love child of Farage and Bankski has risen, like a Frankenstien waiting for XP SP2 to be installed...

            Your shit show is going well @codejunky now the government has finally got round to leaking the 84 sectors reports on how much of a monumental gangfuck your brexit will be.

            And worse, you can't even ride to the rescue as some dubious politics student will get that gig.

            Can't hang around, got an entire economy to short (thanks Mogg and Redwood for the tips) disaster capitalism doesn't just capitalise itself you know.......

  3. WibbleMe

    I would certainly health care in my package for a shriek, that's going to be one of the toughest jobs to put out to tender in a long time.

  4. James O'Shea

    I'll take it

    I'll just get my old British passport (and make damn sure that my Irish and American passports are up to date) and go and have a nice six to seven month vacation in the south of London. At the end I'll deliver the final report (I can start writing it as soon as I set foot in Britain, 'cause I _know_ what it'll say) and board a flight back to Deepest South Florida, one step ahead of the Hounds of MayNotVille, having sent my money ahead of me.

    They will have to pay me the 100K GBP in advance, though. Plus an allowance to cover relocation costs. And another allowance to cover renting a place near London. (Have you seen the prices lately? They're worse than Miami Beach, and the scenery's a whole lot better on South Beach!)

    1. Hans 1

      Re: I'll take it

      They're worse than Miami Beach, and the scenery's a whole lot better on South Beach!)

      Have you read the news lately ? They have a problem with toxic algae ...

      1. James O'Shea

        Re: I'll take it

        That's on the _Gulf_ coast, over on the other side of the peninsula, near Tampa. South Beach is on the _Atlantic_ coast. And even if there was toxic algae, the scenery would still be better than Croydon. Croydon looks like Cleveland, except without the charm. There are several reasons why Cleveland is the Mistake on the Lake, not least being that it's the place where the river caught fire. Twice.

        1. Aladdin Sane Silver badge

          Re: I'll take it

          13 times.

          1. James O'Shea

            Re: I'll take it

            Ay, caramba! It's worse than I'd thought.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Croydon ...

    didn't they get a ribbing years ago from HIGNFY after trying to promote Croydon as an alternative to US locations, noting that at ground level, a lot of Croydon looks like the US ?

    (Angus then added that the statement came from the Leader of the Council who looked like Brad Pitt below the ankle).

    Is my memory odd ?

  6. steelpillow Silver badge
    Trollface

    I am agog

    From the recruitment leaflet:

    "our strategy of bringing back ‘in-house’ our key design and architecture decisions, more directly controlling product development, putting users at the heart of our solutions"

    Can I believe my eyes? Has the leopard changed its spots? Has .gov.uk actually discovered the twenty-first century?

    Or, is it just puff to gloss over the fact that all the approved mega-contractors are currently in the political doghouse?

  7. Milton

    Tempting, in a funny kind of way

    I live close to Croydon and might even qualify, though some of my relevant CV (the more senior corporate IT stuff) is quite old. And as several people have pointed out, although the salary is laughably pitiful for the level of responsibility theoretically involved, the situation is indeed just that: "theoretical"—no sane, experienced adult expects any aspect of Brexit to be anything other than a massive, chaotic, expensive, ultimately cataclysmic clusterphuk.

    So if the salary is derisory for the purported task, perhaps that is in recognition of the futility of the role and its context? Perhaps, in fact, they might as well give the job to the first CV that comes in the door, given it will make no difference whether they appoint an experienced IT professional or a bumbling fool (perhaps BoJo should apply, he is too lazy, ignorant and stupid to bother with detail)?

    Trouble is, as soon as your feet are under the desk, cynicism comes under assault from "Maybe I could make a difference, just a little ... what if I do this ..." because you figure that a bit of reason, evidence and logic might actually help, and, who knows, you could convert some clueless civil servants and their imbecile political masters to reality. Before you know it, you actually care about the deck chairs, despite the captain steering deliberately straight at the iceberg—and then the stress sets in, and once again you are burning out in the face of staggering public sector incompetence and the utter uselessness of politicians.

    And the £100k wasn't worth it after all.

    Perhaps the Home Office advert should read: "Poisoned Chalice: £100k p.a. for first person stupid enough to think they could make the slightest difference."

    1. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

      Re: Tempting, in a funny kind of way

      and then the stress sets in, and once again you are burning out in the face of staggering public sector incompetence and the utter uselessness of politicians.

      It's only stressful if you are trying to actually achieve something in the face of those odds. Any sane person would just go with the flow. What does it matter if the people you work with are all incompetent if you have no intention of doing the (impossible anyway) work?

  8. Allonymous Coward
    Mushroom

    From the candidate information pack

    [We] have some of the most fascinating digital, data and technology leadership roles in the market.

    Fascinating. Yes, that's true. Car crashes and large building fires are also fascinating in the same morbid kind of way.

    Icon because that's what's going to happen when this project hits the wall.

  9. J.G.Harston Silver badge
    Facepalm

    This like getting on a 24-hr flight to New Zealand, and somewhere above the Indian Ocean deciding that now is a good time to look for a hotel to stay in.

  10. Electricity_Guy

    I'm applying...

    I think I'll apply then we'll find out how really desperate they are to fill the post.

    LOL!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I'm applying...

      They should just appoint it like Jury Duty and assign it to a random person

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: I'm applying...

        >They should just appoint it like Jury Duty and assign it to a random person

        There was a time when I thought that $employer just dragged crack addicts off the street and put them on the helpdesk during withdrawal, such was the quality of service. Given the availability and popularity of Spice, just wait for the first Spice Zombie in Croydon town centre, kidnap them and put them in the role*.

        *This could also work for MPs.**

        **In most cases this would be an improvement.

  11. ColinPa

    Under current EU regulations ...

    Under EU regulations - does this job need to be advertised Europe wide ? If so people from mainland Europe could apply for this job, and really put a spanner in the works ( or a Schlüssel/clé)

  12. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

    An Alien Forward Operating Base or US to Internetional Rescue?*

    Making a leading agent's day rate £100k and you should rightly be expecting AIMiracles to Present Future Virtualised AIReality Programs ...... with Fantastic Journeys to Travel in these NEUKlearer HyperRadioProACTive Space Places ........ Looking Out for Ab Fab Fabless AILeaders.

    Phenomenally Heavy Fuel for Blasting Off into NEUKlearer Space Places, El Reg.

    With Heaven ....... well, Firm Favourite Destination .... where Everything is Again Better Forever.

    One can certainly not doubt ITs Absolutely Addictive Attraction. ..... and especially so whenever the Virtual Spaces InterReact with Physicalised Places ....... Leading in the New AIWay for Future Builders.

    Methinks that DARPA/BAE Systems Type Territory, El Reg, ..... and what do you think their Systems Program Production Team Leaders are now doing in the Light and Sight of the Revelation and Release of NEUKlearer HyperRadioProACTive IT?

    Capitalising it or Fearing to Ignore It? Bravo the Only Right Good Answer there which Feeds and Seeds Future Paths Planning. ........ for More Heavenly Travel Immaculately Conceived in Real Hot and Sticky Physicalised Episodes ......... which Memory Never Forgets to Repeat Better than the Last Time for Everything to Be Fundamentally Different and Seeking to Partition and Further EMPower Perfection.

    Knock, Knock, Warren Buffett/George Soros.

    * https://www.zerohedge.com/news/2018-08-16/trump-rages-honesty-wins-nationwide-anti-trump-editorial-blitz-strikes?page=2#comment-12200212

    Take care with all of that, IT can easily Explode and Decimate Whole Sectors with Immaculate Revelations. Best Be Properly Prepared and Better Educated in What All Will Soon Learn Very Quickly Travelling Heavenly Paths Illuminating Scripts Presenting Future Trails Trialling Current Quantum Communications Control Systems ......... Following Raw Hard Core immaculate Source Programming.

    Now whoever provisions that is liable to be able to enable and think almightily. And it's nice knowing its not an Empty ACTive IT Space Place for there are Many Others Playing All Kinds of Greater IntelAIgent Games Commanding and Controlling Live Operational Virtual Environments......... [to be continued with more to follow presently ]

  13. austint

    Hmm: Croydon is just a tram-ride away. And so long as they don't expect me to actually DO anything...

  14. StuntMisanthrope

    Banks are broken.

    Again... #gotogaol

  15. scrubber

    Where's my money

    Open borders.

    Unlimited immigration, but no benefits for 12 months.

    Scrap any biometrics systems immediately.

  16. Rol Silver badge

    Independence. Day 1

    "Hello you're through to IT support how may I assist you?"

    "Err, yes this is Dover passport control. We've just switched over to the new system, and, well, it's not working"

    "Ah yes, you're not alone, but we've come up with a fix"

    "Oh thank God, it's going mental here. The queues are going down the beach and into the surf"

    "Don't panic. Find the switch at the back of the machine and turn it off"

    "OK, I've done that"

    "Excellent. Is there anything else I can help you with?"

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What clearance?

    Job description says open to non UK national with SC. ..wtf

    The role would need briefing on border/port of entry operational issues for them to make calls on what information is shared where how and when.

    Try UKonly DV (3 months if nsv is working)

    Otherwise the meeting is going to be fun "why are we buying this line?... can't tell you, what does it connect... can't tell you, who are the user's,... can't tell you" repeat sequence every day they are in post

    1. Spearchucker Jones

      Re: What clearance?

      SC is good enough here. Building a technical solution that needs to connect with "a system with x profile and y data structure, containing z actionable field" is more than enough to translate into an instruction for a border official.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    A Chance for some fun

    I think that El-Reg should keep a close eye on the recruitment process, and then go for the killer interview

    1. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

      Re: A Chance for some fun ..... with Bright Lights Following Future Ways ....

      .... via Virtual Means with Impeccable Memes

      I think that El-Reg should keep a close eye on the recruitment process, and then go for the killer interview .... Anonymous Coward

      El Reg could post Leading Proposals here for Global Peer Review. Such would pulverise any possible dissent and conflict because of hitherto unknown secret arrangements.

      Do you know how to Travel Safely and Securely Along the Future Way? How to Negotiate and Enjoy to One's Fill the Pleasures at All Available Levels? Or would you be Captured in a Station and Posting to Server Gruel rather than Export Caviar/Death and Destruction rather than Peace and Tranquility?

      What Kinds of Creatures would do that for a Living in the Present Era of Live Operational Virtual Environments? Be they Mentally Retarded and/or Insanely Mad and Radically Bad? Or Just Still Ignorant of the LOVE Program for Live Augmented Virtual Reality Projects ........ in Future Space Place Presentations.

      If you can Trump that, and easily provide a Better Beta AIMachine SuperStructure/InfraStructure before Ancient Traditional Systems Implode and Meltdown on the News of New Verifiable Revelations kept Hidden and Secret for Just a Few, will you Certainly Capture an Enthusiastic Following and Most Willing Disciples for Exciting Esoteric and Exotic Erotic Works.:-) They take you away to places you maybe haven't even dreamed are possible to deliver today.

      You might like to consider All of the Above, an AI Leading Proposal, for Governments Everywhere to Share with their Peoples for the Asinine Creation of the Burden of Taxation Allied to the Conspired Notion of National and International Debt to be Repaid in the Future by Future Generation in Order to Keep the Grand Fiat Currency Ponzi from Collapsing, surely has them more than worthy of an Heroic Mighty Voice?

      1. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

        Re: A Chance for some fun ..... with Bright Lights Following Future Ways ....

        All just too good to be true, El Reg?

        Oh please, you cannot be serious! Acting like a Virtual Virgin and being all Coy about what now is so easily done to So Very Many by So Very Few doesn't do Anyone or Anything Any Favours.

        And what did BoJo say re RAW and Rare Augmented Virtual Realisation [sent 3 August 2018 4:25 PM]?

        Anything coherent and encouraging or Is the MP for Uxbridge and South Ruislip trying valiantly vainly to dodge that particular and peculiar live grenade show?

  19. steelpillow Silver badge
    Flame

    No foreigners, then

    If you are an overseas IT worker in the UK, you must be earning at least £120k before your work permit will be renewed.*

    The £100k on offer here must mean that one interview question will have to be, "If you are not a UK citizen, does your work permit cover the full period of the contract?"

    * Was why child chess prodigy Shreyas Royal needed the Home Secretary to get personal, his dad's an IT Project Manager: BBC report

    Speechless with indignation at our inhuman immigration laws.

    Hey, Mr. Royal, maybe you should go for this low-paid-scum job, as a little personal "thank you" to said Home Secretary? You could let your kid do the actual migration strategy, he'd be pretty hot on it by all accounts.

  20. Robin Saunter

    Delivery of What Exactly?

    Having been involved in border control technology for some decades, I spent 3.7 seconds looking at this job opportunity before concluding, like most other contributors, that it was a career disaster. It's probably a stitch-up anyway, as the successful candidate/victim is already in the frame. What really made we wonder, is what this job will actually deliver: innovation has never been a Home Office characteristic and any progress (as with our HMRC colleagues) tended to be inspired and delivered by people low down in the organisation rather than by its senior management. Oh dear.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Delivery of What Exactly?

      what this job will actually deliver:

      It will deliver the insertion of a flag into a database table, representing the status of whether an EU citizen has the residency rights the UK government has promised.

  21. Spearchucker Jones

    When you're dead you don't know that you're dead. All the pain is felt by others. The same thing happens when you're stupid.

    I say that because 4 years ago they had a perfectly workable, highly usable and surprisingly cheap (by gov. standards) solution. A small government department and a small boutique consultancy didn't like that, and the home secretary at the time reputedly didn't like the Met, and by extension the border force - and so one of the most elegant and achievable solutions I've seen in government was torpedoed.

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