Wanna work for El Reg? Developers needed for headline-writing AI bots

The Register seeks full-time developers and data scientists to build software tools to generate El Reg-style headlines and other text. This technology will draw upon the work of top UK academic Professor Warren Rice, who has assembled a database of more than one million news stories, including the entire Register archive, and …

[Anonymous Coward]

That little obfuscated part on the bottom is not rot-13? I give up.

Ed Sheeran should go drive a Sinclair C5 on the motorway until he's crushed by a lorry, though.

[JWLong]

HAL 9000

"I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARJ8cAGm6JE

[Crisp]

I was just going to repurpose the software I wrote for the Daily Mail

El Reg readers like stories about Princess Diana right?

[Fruit and Nutcase]

Calling Doctor Caroline Langensiepen...

Some prior work in writing in the style of The Register...

https://www.theregister.co.uk/2013/12/03/calling_doctor_caroline_langensiepen_of_nottingham_trent_uni/

...not to forget Tom Watson who wrote the article - wonder what he is doing now.

[chivo243]

Better use

An SDN to keep the AI in his VLAN...

Why would anyone need a bot to write this stuff... Bottle maybe? I'm sure I'd could qualify.

[david 12]

My AI cracked the encryption

My AI decrypted NM5DXDSG1CWGQH0WWJAHLRL9GADXAZXJEU5IX3BK to [e-mail]

I trained it using "NM5DXDSG1CWGQH0WWJAHLRL9GADXAZXJEU5IX3BK" and [e-mail].

[Anonymous Coward]

The Man from Mars

They're asking for The Man from Mars

[Anonymous Coward]

Oh No! How Did he Get There?

I think someone else is already using the software: One of yesterday's headline began along the lines of "American Astronaut on Chinese Space Station Plunging To Earth": Turns out they were just interviewing him.

[Will Godfrey]

I missed this yesterday

Am I too late?

My qualifications are so arcane that I would need to present them in person. Well actually you would have to come to my research establishment so you can see the hardware, firmware, software and anywhere in action.

[heyrick]

"Love them or hate them, they are one of our USPs."

As! is! the! tradition! of! ending! every! single! word! of! every! single! Yahoo! (sorry!, I! mean! Oath!) headline! with! a! slanted! exclamation! mark!

[moozer]

Five years of experience with tensorflow... that will make the list of qualified applicants very short :-)

After the initial laughing subsided, I actually start to like the idea. It is one of those cases where we laugh today - and it might be implemented tomorrow'ish.

I am looking forward to some geek pulling an all-nighter and implementing he beta version.