back to article The iPHONE 5 UNDERMINES western DEMOCRACY: 5 reasons why

Thinking of buying a new iPhone 5 after it gets announced later today? Don't. Owning it will mark you out as an easily-led simpleton - and worse, the purchase will undermine western democracy. Our last digest along these lines was published prior to iPhone Day last year, but as it turned out - and who are we to say just why - …

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      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        @Steve

        Ahhh - I didn't realise that you could develop for android on the palm of your hand? No? What - you need to buy a computer for that too?

        Dumbass.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: @Steve

          Nope, there's an IDE that runs on Android, in fact.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      If you own a mac

      you can get the SDK for free. you can write apps for yourself to your hearts content. But a lot of people aren't willing to shell out over the odds for a mac as well as an iPhone, if I could write aps on my windows PC i'd be a happy bunny (technically I'm fairly sure there's a few ways I could, just expensive ways)

      But alas, despite the fact I have an iphone 3 hidden in a drawer somewhere (I always prefer testing applications on sub par hardware) I have no way of making the applications for them, without shelling out for it.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "you know, you can get the SDK for free. you can write apps for yourself to your hearts content."

      You know that you can't actually run them on the device without jailbreaking it or paying for a developer license, right?

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    2/10 for the effort, but I'll still put my pre-order in.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      1 idiotBadge coming up!

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        "1 idiotBadge coming up!"

        So named because it's coming FROM an idiot who can't even type properly!

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          ""1 idiotBadge coming up!"

          So named because it's coming FROM an idiot who can't even type properly!"

          AC == idiotPhone owner. Stop the crap and be man enough to stop hinding behind AC, otherwise your comments are just puffs of hot air!

  2. Tom 11

    Preaching to the wrong crowd...

    Lewis, we all know this already, (apart from the chumps who are pretending to be techies reading this on a fruit device convincing themselves how deluded we all are)

    Get this up on the BBC or in the metro or that stupid i paper from the Independant, might actually filter through a few indoctrinated brain cells...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Preaching to the wrong crowd...

      "...or in the metro or that stupid i paper from the Independant"

      Print is dead!

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Preaching to the wrong crowd...

        "Print is dead!"

        Well, in your world, it was never all that alive, I suspect. Not exactly Oscar Wilde, are you?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Preaching to the wrong crowd...

          I love how others get it, but you! ____________ ERM ____________

          Sharp as a tack eh?

      2. Bit Brain
        Thumb Up

        Re: Preaching to the wrong crowd...

        “Print is dead!”

        Thank you, Dr Spengler.

    2. AndyS

      Re: Preaching to the wrong crowd...

      3rd most read article on the BBC website just now (probably partly due to being on the front page of Reddit)

      http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-19557497

      Says much the same thing.

    3. Tom 11
      Trollface

      Re: Preaching to the wrong crowd...

      Sorry Lewis, I take it back, looks like you already greased a few palms at auntie ;)

      http://www.bbc.com/news/technology-19557497

  3. Nerd
    FAIL

    Just like the El Reg Staff then

    "As a commentator on the sci/tech/biz scene, unfortunately, he doesn't do so well. Sadly he has shown that he has only a very weak grasp - often none at all - on how various technological things actually work" Stephen Fry - just like the staff at the Register

    1. IglooDude

      Re: Just like the El Reg Staff then

      citation(s) needed

    2. Koyaanisq

      Re: Just like the El Reg Staff then

      Have you ever read an article on El Reg that taught you something? No? Are you a super genius perhaps?

      I didn't think so. Maybe you don't know anything about tech and the words just fly above your 'Nerd' head.

  4. Candy
    Happy

    Hilarious but...

    ...wasn't this supposed to go out as a Bong article?

  5. william 10
    Mushroom

    Hurry Hurry - get them quick before the possible ban !

    At least two companies are already working on court filings to get it banned as they claim apple copied them.

    If these companies are successful I wonder what the withdrawal symptoms will be like ?

    1. Koyaanisq

      Re: Hurry Hurry - get them quick before the possible ban !

      A doctor a day to keep the Apple withdrawal away.

    2. ArmanX
      Stop

      Re: Hurry Hurry - get them quick before the possible ban !

      It won't happen. Even if Apple broke into another company, stole their phone, copied it exactly, and began selling it as the iPhone X - all with full sound and video recording them - the iPhone wouldn't be banned from selling. Now, they may get in trouble, don't get me wrong - but they won't be banned. How else would the judge make phone calls?

  6. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
    Devil

    " As such Apple hysteria is hurting our economies and undermining one of the main things supporting our way of life."

    Oh well.

    Don't you think after the economy bubble, kept afloat by politicians and central banksters (the former with increasingly highly stained pants, the latter with increasingly large cars) via cheap credit and "bailouts", it's a bit late to complain?

  7. Kevin Johnston

    Tried not to get involved but

    The 2nd Number 2 bullet point (I presume it should have been Number 3?) is actually the one of most relevance. By not providing an SD or similar slot, Apple are extracting the Michael a tad. I am not aware of any other supplier (no I'm not going to go into Manufacturer vs Designer vs Supplier) who still plays that way and it is hard to see it as other than a way of controlling price for capacity and/or methods for transferring data.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Thumb Down

      Re: Tried not to get involved but

      " I am not aware of any other supplier (no I'm not going to go into Manufacturer vs Designer vs Supplier) who still plays that way"

      How about Google with the Galaxy Nexus phone and the Nexus 7 tablet. No SD card on either of them.

      It's also quite useless on newer phones like the Galaxy S3 since you can't actually move stuff like apps to the SD card.

      1. Monty Burns

        Re: Tried not to get involved but

        Atho....

        It's not often I use words like this but, what are you talking about you moron? It's perfect for quick file transfers and putting in one of the small library of cards containing which ever TV series you wish to switch to.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Tried not to get involved but

          ..or for your metric buttload of music (including a load of Metric, but no Butthole Surfers, in my case), and all the offline map data and other crap that I carry around.

          Hell, the multi-gig downloads from various games too. Most of the content on my phone is stored on the SD card. Not sure in what sane universe it's "useless".

        2. PiccoloKu

          Re: Tried not to get involved but

          You can put videos on an SD card and put the SD card in the Apple Camera Connection Kit and watch the videos from there. Do this all the time, but I use my iPad because watching a movie on a phone isn't that great, even with those dinner plate sized android phones.

      2. Manu T

        Re: Tried not to get involved but

        Yes, Google also fucks up

        1. Frumious Bandersnatch

          Re: Tried not to get involved but

          Re: no SD on Neuxs or Nexus 7

          Yes, Google also fucks up

          The way I see it, the lack of an upgrade slot was a deliberate design decision to achieve two things. First, since they're basically subsidising the hardware, they want to keep costs down. Second, they don't want to piss off the other Android suppliers by making a phone or tablet that's too good (again, particularly if they're subsidising the cost). I'm only surmising this, but I feel that they want to produce something that's a pretty good showcase for Android, but want to avoid being accused of "stealing" the market from other Android makers. So I see the lack of an SD slot here as being kind of a middle ground, with the assumption that if users want to upgrade, they'll check out the other android manufacturers.

      3. arrbee

        Re: Tried not to get involved but

        This is the same argument as the closed garden one - if lots of people pay for crap from one company then there is every incentive for other companies in the same market to match them.

        Its this race to the bottom that perverts the capitalist rationale ( it also looks very like the "good enough" attitude that MS has always been roasted for ).

  8. Justice
    Thumb Up

    It's brilliant because it's true.

    Thank you for the mid-week smiley.

    Now... let the flame war begin!!!

    iSheep.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: It's brilliant because it's true.

      Only Androidiots like flame wars, they can't hold a reasonable argument.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: It's brilliant because it's true.

        "Re: It's brilliant because it's true.

        Only Androidiots like flame wars, they can't hold a reasonable argument."

        Your rantings suggest that and idotPhone user could?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: It's brilliant because it's true.

          Oh look another bonehead fandroid foaming at the mouth over this "article". How many comments have you posted here and on other Apple stories? 1000? Don't you have a life or something?

      2. FartingHippo
        Mushroom

        Re: It's brilliant because it's true.

        Pff. Everyone who isn't unhealthily pious and over-protective of their phone brand enjoys a good flame war.

        The more unreasonable the better :)

      3. Koyaanisq

        Re: It's brilliant because it's true.

        Aren't you a good example of fanboi cleverness.

        Also, I'm fairly sure it's 'Fandroid.'

      4. hplasm
        Gimp

        Re: ...they can't hold a reasonable argument.

        But they can hold a phone any way they like...

  9. Drew Scott
    WTF?

    Point number 1 means I can't take this entire article seriously. What a load of link bait and pandering tosh.

  10. Gavin 8
    WTF?

    I was hoping to read some good reasons not to buy the iphone 5

    but got none :-/

    Oh well, I'll just have to mindlessly buy it. Especially as I don't want a memory slot, or a spare battery (4 days battery life from my iphone 4 will do me), and I'd happily be bummed by Stephen Fry.

    Also, do I want an android phone with poor battery life, poor ui, piss poor management of push data (no I don't want to configure each app to 'poll' every X minutes chewing up battery life), and even more piss poor touch response (but awesome custom keyboard options - I do miss that).

    Thing is, I don't need a pc in my pocket, I need a phone that can do a few extra things reliably (and of course condoms if I meet stephen fry).

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I was hoping to read some good reasons not to buy the iphone 5

      Do you know what you are talking about?

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    5 reasons for publishing this article

    1. Page impressions

    2. Page impressions

    3. etc...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: 5 reasons for publishing this article

      One word: adblock

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: 5 reasons for publishing this article

      You forgot:

      4. Profit

  12. Michael H.F. Wilkinson
    Happy

    People doing irrational things with money?

    Shocking

    Makes you wonder what fashion is all about

    1. arrbee

      Re: People doing irrational things with money?

      oo, I know the answer to that one.

      Fashion is about removing choice from the consumer.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    " It makes no sense that the iPhone (which is in many important respects less good than other smartphones) should command such an outrageous price premium among consumers"

    It gives the idiotPhone owner some status (you hear it from the 'tards all the time on 'ere).

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      IdiotPhone? Is that something out of Asus, like the PadFone?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        "IdiotPhone? Is that something out of Asus, like the PadFone?"

        No! I said idiotPhone. Like your not owned by one?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          IdiotPhone aka ObviouslyPhone!

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