or the Field Marshall, but which caused the most casualties is hard to tell.
On Christmas night, a computer logs a call to say his user has stopped working…
Twas the night after Christmas, but I felt all alone. I'd opted for on-call rather than spend it at home. Paid double to sit idle, my colleagues did say: No one will work late on this Christmas Day. The office is empty, pretty much – it's a laugh! (It's a Boxing Day news feed with a skeleton staff.) Not a creature …
COMMENTS
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Friday 24th December 2021 17:49 GMT John Brown (no body)
I read a bit of this article to my wife...
"where he pukes most of the whisky into the waste bin, pees in the sink and has a sip of water from the latrine."
She just sighed and said "not funny, seen worse. Much worse." She used to work front of desk in hotels many years ago.
Merry Christmas everyone! Especially the guys'n'gals looking after the James Webb Telescope launch on Christmas Day. Hopefully there won't be any related On Call or worse, Who, Me? stories from that event :-)
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Saturday 25th December 2021 01:25 GMT jake
What's with this religeous "christmas" thing?
Did the Age of Enlightenment teach us nothing? Sensible people celebrate Solstice. Not for religious reasons, mind, but rather because the hours of daylight (and thus the planting & animal breeding schedule) have tipped over for the second time in the current twelve months. I would have thought this would be normal by now among the Commentardariat.
That was days ago ... for us, the horrordays are over. The first of the chili seeds were planted today (more tomorrow ... even here in Sonoma, California hothouses have their uses), none of the five boarding mares are threatening to foal early (had a scare last week), and life is good :-)
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Saturday 25th December 2021 10:26 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: What's with this religeous "christmas" thing?
It has been argued that our ancestors would not have noticed the lengthening of the daylight until some time after the Winter Solstice. Given the unreliability of sunshine on the day for Stonehenge etc - then devising some form of dead reckoning would have been useful.
Humans, like many animals, are intrinsically inclined to form cooperative hierarchical authoritative groups. They also have inbuilt wishful thinking about life's challenges. Organised religion is the result - and is exploited by many for social control of others under the guise of providing "protection" as long as you profess the shibboleths.
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Saturday 25th December 2021 13:52 GMT Alistair Dabbs
Re: What's with this religeous "christmas" thing?
I used to feel indignant about the Christian hijacking of winter solstice but now I feel comfortable about a universally state-accepted date for having fun.
I'd read an article by a British occultist who I respect who was trying to explain the history behind Halloween. In response to those who denigrate it for being "Americanised" he reckoned such complaints were just evidence of Europeans being envious that Americans know how to have fun.
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Tuesday 28th December 2021 07:18 GMT amanfromMars 1
Enlightenment Lessons are a School of Hard Knocks Always Wisest Best Never Ever Foolishly Ignored
I'd read an article by a British occultist who I respect who was trying to explain the history behind Halloween. In response to those who denigrate it for being "Americanised" he reckoned such complaints were just evidence of Europeans being envious that Americans know how to have fun. ..... Alastair Dabbs
Many would rightly have just cause to complain, with a mountain of evidence to substantiate the claim, that the cost of their fun is at the expense of everyone/everything else, which is not really something to be envious of whenever so damnedly parasitic. And in such a phorm, it cannot stop creating ever more overwhelmingly powerful and smarter stealthy enemies for itself, not necessarily out to physically destructively destroy the ignorant and arrogant entity at play, although that surely is a readily available barbaric option, but certainly to create an atmosphere and environments which strip it of its means to wealth and fun that are so costly and expensive to others.
A valid question to ponder and present for unambiguous answering then if that ever be the widely perceived and unacceptable future reality, is would there be fundamental revolutionary changes immediately made by offensive instrumental parties if any of that above be recognised and admitted by such parties to be the case, or would they circle the wagons and try to ignore their assured fate at the hands of either barbarians knocking down their gates or smarter competition obliged to turn to overwhelming opposition?
If it was you in such an enigmatic position and perilous situation, with time run out and the tides of great fortune turned, what would you likely do to quickly creatively and amicably resolve the conundrum and save yourself to breathe in another day?
And methinks, jake, they be horrordays back for Sonoma, California, through no fault of your own. Who you gonna call for help and blame for that predicament?
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Tuesday 28th December 2021 07:53 GMT jake
Re: Enlightenment Lessons are a School of Hard Knocks ::mercy snip::
I just hate the pure, unadulterated and constant plastic commercialism the last three months of the year. You can't get away from it, and it's bloody awful, no matter how you look at it. I coined the term Horrordays back in 4th grade[0], much to my (very agnostic) dad's amusement & MeDearOld(very xtian)Mum's consternation.
"Many would rightly have just cause to complain, with a mountain of evidence to substantiate the claim, that the cost of their fun is at the expense of everyone/everything else"
One wonders what the current state of the world would be had the US remained isolationist in WWII ... methinks that you and I would not be allowed to have this conversation in that alternate timeline.
[0] Yes, I know, it is in use all over the place now. I have no idea if it was in use anywhere before I used it in the early 1960s; my Father had certainly never heard it used in that context before ... and I also have no idea if I was the absolute originator. Probably not ... I suspect that it had multiple "inventors" all over the world at various times.
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Tuesday 28th December 2021 07:34 GMT jake
Re: What's with this religeous "christmas" thing?
I'm not indignant, just sad. All this freely available education, and yet still good ol' Homo Sap can't shake the bearded sky fairy silliness. Shirley by now we could at least celebrate Solstice on the actual Solstice, instead of trying to rename it and shifting it back a couple days?
Halloween and Christmas are the same holiday, if you look into it. To start with, any Techie will confirm that Oct 31 and Dec 25 are the same. Santa and Satan are anagrams. Have you ever seen Saint Nick and Old Nick in the same room together? Besides, who would YOU pick as the patron saint for the holiday best known for hedonism, libertinism, decadence and debauchery?
Yes, hard as it may be for outside observers to believe (especially after the last 5 years or so), us Yanks like to have fun. There is a reason we shipped your Puritans back to Blighty before declaring independence. But don't blame us for you lot keeping them ... all y'all could have palmed 'em off on the Aussies or Kiwis without too much trouble. But no, you let 'em take over. Now look at you. No sex, no drugs, no wine, no women, no fun, no sin ... There's a song in there somewhere.
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Tuesday 28th December 2021 09:37 GMT amanfromMars 1
Re: What's with this religeous "christmas" thing?
:-) And aint that nearly the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the gospel truth according to jake, and recorded by jake. Bravo. Encore.
Indeed, if it be impossible to disprove and present as fake news, must it be politically correct at least, and even a universally acceptable observation recognised more widely further afield in other environments as an honest reflection ....... and a current work in constant progress and vice versa, a constant work in current progress.
That suggests there be opportunities to explore and exploit, for Saints and Sinners alike.
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Saturday 25th December 2021 12:42 GMT DJV
2031
Before realising it was a date, my first thought on seeing that number was, "Blimey, he's talking about the first disk drive I ever owned."
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Monday 27th December 2021 03:58 GMT amanfromMars 1
Heavenly Tasks ... but somebody has to do them, otherwise they remain undone as in AIDreams
Thanks for that tale, Dabbsy. It explains perfectly the reason for a very recent and most unusual and unexpected and unwarranted glitch which was impugning the moral integrity and mega socially responsible reputation of this august virtual publication, universally renowned and respected for biting the hand which feeds IT whilst still enabled to attract and jointly enact and react with the most surprising and disturbing of event calendars/future programming projects practically seamlessly and relatively anonymously and autonomously in the leading background with sterling pioneers and at the fore of deep movements underground entertaining and exercising command and control of the dark arts infesting webs with their hellish intrigues and debilitating fatigues.
For a brief moment, perish the thought, did moles in the works trying to destroy
padded cellularCircus advancements and enhancements surface and spring to mind, where now it will safely linger to ensure such discoveries always guarantee stellar recovery from riches stealing glitches for unparalleled progress.And I'm certainly looking forward already to next week's Friday because without the good ole eyeopener or two or three or four we’d all be blind to what’s really going on around everyone and everything in the background and the depths of its shady shadows ....
I would like you to know that my column continues through the Christmas holiday and I'll be back again next week for a New Year's Eve SFTWS.
The topic? My run-down of what WILL and WON'T happen in tech in 2022.
See you back here next Friday. ..... Alistair Dabbs
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Tuesday 28th December 2021 09:03 GMT amanfromMars 1
Re: David Hannum was right. @jake
In words of one syllable, jake, ...... Quite so, you are not wrong ....... and it cannot fail to be right whenever Einstein is not wrong with his many observations on the human condition .....
There is no vaccine against stupidity. .... Information is not knowledge. The only source of knowledge is experience. You need experience to gain wisdom. ..... Don't listen to the person who has the answers; listen to the person who has the questions. .... We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them. .... Success comes from curiosity, concentration, perseverance and self criticism. ..... If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough. .... Be a voice, not an echo. ... A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it. .... Thinking is hard work; that's why so few do it. :-) ...... You can't use an old map to explore a new world. ....The measure of intelligence is the ability to change. .... Logic can take you from point A to point B. Imagination can take you wherever you want. .... Mankind invented the atomic bomb, but no mouse would ever construct a mousetrap. ....Three great forces rule the world: stupidity, fear and greed. ....Everyone knew it was impossible, until a fool who didn't know came along and did it. ....The height of stupidity is most clearly demonstrated by the individual who ridicules something he knows nothing about. ......We cannot get to where we dream of being tomorrow unless we change our thinking today. ..... Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. ......Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
Capiche, Amigos/Amigas? And don’t forget to remember to be constantly encouraged and not daunted when failure is success in progress for a person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.
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Monday 27th December 2021 19:39 GMT coolsausage69
Where's the man from mars?
I would've thought the whiskey would be needed to make any sense of the AI, given what amanfrommars puts out. And give it 10 more years it can only get worse. Does make good come backs though for which I'll have no reply, but I'll be ready with the whiskey all the same.