back to article UK spends £36m on 18 little 'bullet-proof' boats to protect Royal Navy assets

The UK is to splash £36m on 18 new vessels to help protect Royal Navy bases around Britain and Gibraltar. The contract – awarded to Liverpool-based boatbuilders Marine Specialised Technology, who seemed comfortable with being named as part of the deal – will help protect 50 jobs and create a further 15 posts. For the flotilla …

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      1. ClockworkOwl
        Mushroom

        Re: No sign of armament

        Mobile shielding..!

      2. The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: No sign of armament

        Send a harsh letter to The Guardian.

        1. W.S.Gosset
          Childcatcher

          Re: No sign of armament

          I say. Steady on.

      3. hoola Silver badge

        Re: No sign of armament

        Maybe they will have a grunt with a useless SA80, or if they are lucky the SA90 that almost works.

        Another fine example of how to spend a huge amount of money and produce something nobody wants to use.

        1. imanidiot Silver badge

          Re: No sign of armament

          Uhhmmm, SA80 covers several different weapons (L85 and L86, multiple variants) and SA90 is, as far as I can find, not actually a thing.

          If you're talking about the abysmal performance of the L85A1 rifle then yes, but you'll be happy to know that after Heckler&Koch got their grubby mitts on basically all of them and upgraded them to the L85A2 standard they're basically exactly as reliable as an M16/M4/AR15. L86 received similar upgrades and is now also at a statisfactory standard apparently.

      4. gandalfcn Silver badge

        Re: No sign of armament

        I suggest you should have actually read rather than written that :"Concealed weapon systems. A range of lethal and non lethal weapons are hidden below decks and raised only for deployment including a remote control gyroscopically stabilized 12.7mm machine gun, or a manned motorised gun turret incorporating a 7.62mm MG."

    1. veti Silver badge

      Re: No sign of armament

      Presumably, run away.

      They don't have guns for the same reason the Hercules transport doesn't, or the Airbus A320. That's not their job.

      1. KarMann Silver badge
        Mushroom

        Re: No sign of armament

        #NotAllHercules

        Say hello to Spooky.

        1. imanidiot Silver badge
          Big Brother

          Re: No sign of armament

          You don't say hello to Spooky, nor does Spooky say hello to you. If you're on the wrong end you'll just receive a surprise care package from the skies.

          1. Dave the Cat

            Re: No sign of armament

            Certainly sir, would you like your freedom packages delivered in 20mm, 40mm or 105mm size?

        2. gandalfcn Silver badge

          Re: No sign of armament

          Read the specs.

      2. gandalfcn Silver badge

        Re: No sign of armament

        I suggest you actually read the full specs as the "problem you point out is actually a rather good design feature. However, I note most commenters here didn't bother to read the specs, are paranoid and don't know WWII ended rather a long time ago.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: What do they do when fired upon? Reply back with harsh language?

      Or else we will be very angry with you... and we will write you a letter, telling you how angry we are.

    3. EvilDrSmith Silver badge

      Re: No sign of armament

      The appear to be police boats for routine patrolling, and warding off lost/thoughtless civilian sailors, plus civil protests, which are generally unarmed.

      They would also likely be the first defence against terrorists. In that situation they have whatever guns the crew and passengers carry, which is likely going to be on par with whatever weapons they are facing in the hands of the terrorists (and which is presumably the thought in providing bullet resistant materials on the boat).

      Given that they will be routinely deployed in harbours, which tend to have lots of people all over the place, firing off heavy calibre machine guns or light automatic cannon might be somewhat counter-productive (every bullet or shell has to land somewhere, and they won't all hit the target).

      1. gandalfcn Silver badge

        Re: No sign of armament

        Yawn! RTFS

        1. EvilDrSmith Silver badge

          Re: No sign of armament

          Erm, the (armed) Barracuda referred to was in another poster's link, it's not what has been ordered from Marine Specialist Technology.

          What's been ordered are Police Patrol Craft. No reference to any fixed weaponry in the press release on the Gov.uk press release page.

    4. ThatOne Silver badge
      Devil

      Re: No sign of armament

      > What do they do when fired upon?

      Sink?

      1. gandalfcn Silver badge

        Re: No sign of armament

        Fire back of course, with their guns

        1. This post has been deleted by its author

  1. Roger Kynaston

    So ModPlod get new toys

    I often think that the Plymouth staff must get so bored trundling up and down the Hamoaze occasionally telling a SPaD off for getting do close to the floating death and destruction.

    1. Korev Silver badge
      Pint

      Re: So ModPlod get new toys

      To be fair, it's not far from Cornwall and we have record for invading England. It's been a few centuries, but next time we'll get past Guildford - I promise...

      Mine's a pint of Trelawny Ale -->

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    protect 50 jobs and create a further 15 posts

    oh, how the Mighty (British Empire) has fallen...

    1. gandalfcn Silver badge

      Re: protect 50 jobs and create a further 15 posts

      Reading a lot of the comments here some people still believe it exists.

  3. Andy The Hat Silver badge
    Coat

    Made for the task

    "...protect Royal Navy bases around Britain and Gibraltar."

    As the Breaks-it agreement means Gibraltar will be given back to the Spanish in exchange for two barrels of Sherry and a bushel of Anchovies, that only leaves our great naval ports - basically Southhampton Marina - to defend. So a couple of these new craft chasing pesky rascals at high speed around the Isle of Wight until everyone is dizzy should keep any potential invaders at bay. You can save money by leaving off all armament, reduce crew protection (a sou'wester should be suitable atire as it's nice around the IoW), provide a loudhailer rather than unreliable radios and, to meter out immediate and direct punishment (we do rule the seas after all) give the crew a video camera to threaten naughty seafaring types with exposure on BBC Crimewatch (and for extra humiliation, threaten repeats as Boredomforce on Quest, Pick and Dave ...) and we can even offset costs by selling footage to You've Been Framed! Sounds like a win win situation!

  4. Pen-y-gors

    £2 million each?

    That sounds rather expensive for a fast motor-boat.

    Is Honest Ron's Pizzas & PPE of Canvey Island involved in the contract?

    1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

      Re: £2 million each?

      It's military procurement. Roll a 6-sided die and add that number of zeroes to the end of the price you first thought of.

      Though nowadays military headline prices also often include the cost of the maintenenance support and sometimes even midlife upgrades. But the press don't bother to mention that, as they like big numbers and not quite telling the truth.

      1. gandalfcn Silver badge

        Re: £2 million each?

        "It's military procurement" Correction.

        It's Pentagon procurement. Roll a 6-sided die and add that number of zeroes to the end of the price you first thought of.

        The UK is far more sensible, although recently the BoJo Mob seem to be emulating the USA.

        1. Androgynous Cupboard Silver badge

          Re: £2 million each?

          > The UK is far more sensible

          For the love of god, citation needed! Where do you want to start, the aircraft carriers or the ongoing Boxer procurement debacle?

  5. gandalfcn Silver badge

    As quite a few obviously didn't read the specs, which habit seems a common trait here :

    "WEAPON SYSTEMS

    The design uses an innovative solution to weapon deployment. Various different types of both lethal and non-lethal weapons, including a remote control gyroscopically stabilised 12.7mm machine gun / 40mm grenade launcher can be fitted to Barracuda. In Barracuda the weapons are cleverly concealed below decks in the f/wd section of the superstructure, and are raised up to above deck level only for deployment through large watertight carbon fibre hatches built into the superstructure. In this way when the vessel is in engaged in surveillance or patrol, the weapons are concealed and the vessels RCS signature is greatly reduced. When the vessel is engaged in pursuit or apprehend modes, the weapons are raised for deployment. "

    The education was free. Think about it.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Homemade or not.

    A shame the aircraft aren't homegrown.

    1. gandalfcn Silver badge

      Re: Homemade or not.

      Sshhhhh, that totally destroys most of the naysayers arguments.

  7. gandalfcn Silver badge

    I find the number of downvotes given to facts and upvotes given to uninformed opinions and conspiracy theories is very telling. A bit like the GOP or the Mail/Express.

    1. Pen-y-gors

      Has someone been writing a custom bot? I think we should be told...

  8. MAF
    Happy

    Usable in all weather

    'cos you wouldn't want to not be able to use it somewhere wet (err like the sea...)

    1. Dabooka

      Re: Usable in all weather

      All weather is not the same as leakproof.

      I know feck all about boats but even I know that bit

  9. GrahamRJ

    Neal Stephenson was here first

    "See, I told you they'd listen to Reason."

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