back to article British Army cyber 'n' psyops unit 77 Brigade can't even brainwash civvies into helping it meet recruitment targets

The British Army's psyops unit 77 Brigade is still falling short of recruiting targets, despite cyber skills being bigged up repeatedly by the military and government. The unit – whose remit covers information operations, psyops and similar shady things – has continued its struggle to attract part-time recruits, according to …

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  1. not.known@this.address Silver badge

    And meanwhile, somewhere in downtown Tomsk...

    "Da, Vladimir Ivanovich, we are safe - the British Army cybersecurity team is almost as empty as their stock of decent vodka, Comrade! They couldn't find us in a hundred years!"

    "Indeed you are, Irinya Nataleyeva old girl - they couldn't find a haystack on a football pitch. Would you like some Earl Grey to put in your samovar? I picked it up before I left the office in Hereford... sorry, St Petersburg yesterday...."

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Big Brother

    Bigged up Army psyops?

    “The British Army's psyops unit 77 Brigade is still falling short of recruiting targets, despite cyber skills being bigged up repeatedly by the military and government.”

    Possibly because we don't want to work for crypto fascists.

    bigged up is bigged up a real English term?

    1. Rich 11 Silver badge

      Re: Bigged up Army psyops?

      is bigged up a real English term?

      It most certainly is. It can be traced back to the 13th century, when boar-shafting parties were all the rage.

      "...on that nighte we didst lws the Beaste unto its mark, & Sir Guillaume didst take it with grate joyeux, & was truly bigged up."

      -- Roger de Montmorency, Keeper of the King's Ringcushion

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Ironically, the best hackers tend to be independent thinkers who don't like being told what to do. Whereas being in the army is all about doing what you are told without question, even if the orders are utterly moronic.

    1. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

      Perfect Fictions for Live Operational Virtual Environment Self-Actualisation and AIRealisation

      Ironically, the best hackers tend to be independent thinkers who don't like being told what to do. Whereas being in the army is all about doing what you are told without question, even if the orders are utterly moronic. .... Anonymous Coward

      Surely the answer is simple? Have best hackers and independent thinkers give orders to Armies, Navies and Air Forces in order to have them provide Full Spectrum Protection and Future Security Guarantees to Cyber Space Force Fledglings on the Grand AIMaster Pilot Trail/Tale/Truth.

      Where/Who does one go to for Super Cyber Space Forces today? Anywhere at all conventional and traditional? Surely not?

      Or can you just set up such markets virtually anywhere in an instant, just like as was just done.

      It is No Great Secret ..... Believe and Everything is Real Enough for All Practical Purposes.

      :-) Believing what you really think is sometimes made a tad difficult to realise because of tempting diversions into Other Extraordinarily Rich Terrains....... where Sets of Sublime Programmable AI Minds Deliver the Future in a Constant Stream of Colossal AIMedia Product Presentations.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Weird then that the Chinese government has no trouble recruiting hackers, nor does the NSA for that matter. How do you explain it?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        The Israeli's do a very good job of it too with Unit 8200.

        If it were me, I'd offer scholarships to top universities for those getting highest grades in maths at GCSE in return for 3 years service, arrange internships with cooperative IT companies for summers and fast track to senior warrant officer for those staying in past the minimum.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The Duh moment

    Intelligent people don't like to work for criminals.

    1. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

      Re: The Duh moment ... and Advanced Persistent Threat with AI Treats?

      Intelligent people don't like to work for criminals. .... Anonymous Coward

      And intelligent people don't work like criminals either.

      And I've chosen not to dedicate that with punctuation to allow it a number of different APT meanings.

      What of criminals working with intelligent people? Can you imagine the craic there?

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Penny Mordaunt

    Is she the same calibre of role model as our Dear Leader?

    1. Boris the Cockroach Silver badge
      Unhappy

      Re: Penny Mordaunt

      Quote

      Is she the same calibre of role model as our Dear Leader?

      In a word : no

      Much worse......

  6. Sulphurcocky1
    Paris Hilton

    then you don't complain when they employ AI and use ML in the absence of staff.

    Works at speeds greater than human capacity, takes on drudgery and works tirelessly with out a pause unless stopped.

    If only it would get me a cup of coffee and walk my dog.

    1. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

      No Complaints from Staff Stationing Here ....

      If only it would get me a cup of coffee and walk my dog. ..... Sulphurcocky1

      :-) Those tasks are absent remotely to keep one grounded and earthed to reality lest one be lost to fantasy and self-destruction in future weighty matters/operations, Sulphurcocky1.

      Such simplicity is a Godsend.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Here's an advert for the benefits of joining the US Army

    https://twitter.com/USArmy/status/1131704927963766785

    Not.

    1. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

      Re: Here's an advert for the benefits of joining the US Army

      What benefits such Cannon Fodder Service ‽

      Cui Bono? Anything Human? Is such the Masterful Program Leader you follow and besiege with conflict and fight instead of engaging for a quite wholly different direction of future travel?

      And just because it is bound to be thought and asked ...... Yes, it is certainly much easier for future travellers to engage with Earth Systems in order to Introduce and Float their Wares MainStream Online Live.

      Ergo ........ Hello World and Earthlings. :-)

  8. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

    Quite whether a UKGBNI Asset or Foreign Import for Re-Export is wondrously wonderfully unclear :-)*

    Do you imagine AI and ML to be Physically Constrained and Restrained or Absolutely Free to Wreak Havoc and CHAOS via Remote Virtual Means with Alien Memes ........ Almighty Perfect Providers to Immaculate Knights of the Right Royal Realm.

    * Take AI Jump/Quantum Communications Leap and Deny IT Yes. :-) You know you really, really want to. What is there to lose? Sanity and Madness, Conflict and Control? Surely that's an AI Win Win.

    Do you think to have the command and control of them by other more effective remote means? Instant Immense Wealth for Services Rendered and to be Rendered is a Firm Prime Perennial Favourite which Captures and Captivates Many a Willing Resource of Worthy Source ...... with Sterling Product to Present.

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