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They may have mown down their own students with real tanks but what really scares the Chinese government is a stuffed, furry bear with a red tank top. A movie starring Ewan McGregor came out in cinemas on Friday, and covers the frankly rather boring honey-coated story of a series of improbable animal friends doing very little …

    1. Avatar of They
      Coat

      Re: Travesty...

      Isn't that applicable to most Disney offerings nowadays? Including the star wars remakes (sorry new films)

    2. Alan Brown Silver badge

      Re: Travesty...

      "Disney's representation of Pooh is an utter travesty"

      The man himself is reputed to have said something along the lines of "Corn sells, so that's what we make"

      It's worth noting that Disney only became nastycorp after Eisner got control.

    3. Jay Lenovo
      FAIL

      Re: Travesty...

      Disney must have thought, "Hey, with a main character that inspired books like The Tao of Pooh ", we've got a home-run addressing the asian market.

      But much like their failed efforts to make Star Wars asian relevant, Pooh (of all characters) is too offensive to the Chinese censors.

      Even if he came out as a closet Panda Bear (so modern Disney), he'd still be banned.

      I leave you with a sample of Pooh's controversial rhetoric (be warned, quite offensive):

      "People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day." —Winnie-the-Pooh"

  1. AlgernonFlowers4
  2. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
    Thumb Down

    Negative influence

    Unfortunately the Pooh doppelganger's influence is not just in China - His Belt and Road Initiative is bringing a new brand of colonialism and long term debt to those poor countries and their people in it's path.

    1. Hollerithevo Silver badge

      Re: Negative influence

      Mr or Ms F.A. Nutcase,

      They've been prusuing this for a while, but the American Trans-Pacific trade agreemnt was offering the southeast Asian countries an escape route. Now, unfortunately, that choice is gone, and they have very little wiggle-room in negotiations.

      The logical consequences, as I see it, is that all the goods and services the USA (and Europe) enjoys from the Pacific East will be offered on very different terms. I dont' think it willb e good for the USA. As with the Roman Empire, if you don't keep your troops, forts and walls in tip-top condition on the frontiers, it doesn't matter if your troops are superior, because the Goths, Alans etc will just keep on coming and a breached permeter is well-nigh impossible to repair.

      1. Pen-y-gors Silver badge
        Pint

        Re: Negative influence

        @Hollerithevo

        because the Goths, Alans etc will just keep on coming

        There was me about to make some snide comment about the problem of hordes of Alan Partridges, but I did a quick check. I can now add the Alans (or Aryans) to my list of invading tribes, along with the Visigoths, Ostrogoths and Vandals.

        Just doesn't have the same ring about it as Vandal! "You bloody Alan! look what you've done to my lawn!"

        Pint for educating me!

      2. Alan Brown Silver badge

        Re: Negative influence

        "the American Trans-Pacific trade agreemnt was offering the southeast Asian countries".. much the same, only on much worse terms.

        There, FTFY.

        China's flexing its muscles and stepping back up to the plate as a major power - something that it's been absent from over the last 300 years due to colonialism, civil wars and the rise in sea trade overtaking the importance of the Silk Route.

        Unlike other countries I could mention it's managing its economic expansion and growth in international trade WITHOUT planting its gunboats in other countries' harbours and threatening to blow the local government sky high(**) unless the people on the pointy end of the barrels decided to trade on the terms of the people with the matches.

        (**) Some didn't even bother with the threats and just blew african coastal civilizations to bits without any warning, then called them primitive barbarians deserving to be conquered and enslaved.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Communist leaders and their sensitivities

    Xi's not the only one: Xiaoping (as in Deng Xiaoping) can mean little glass bottle in China, and a form of protest around 1989 was to smash bottles and leave them in the street, something that caught out some Western exchange students who got pissed one night and decided to play a game of "lets see who can throw the empty bottles into that fountain". Gorbachev effectively means hunchback in Russian, and Chernenko apparently means little black man in Ukrainian.

    1. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

      Re: Communist leaders and their sensitivities

      And as for Trump...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Communist leaders and their sensitivities

        Supposedly Trump is slang for "passing gas" in UKistania.

        Anonymous to protect me from our Glorious Leader Trump.

        1. Chronos
          Mushroom

          Re: Communist leaders and their sensitivities

          Supposedly Trump is slang for "passing gas" in UKistania.

          Which is why I refer to said bewigged moron as "Arsenoise."

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Communist leaders and their sensitivities

          Supposedly Trump is slang for "passing gas" in UKistania.

          It's a noun. A "trump" can either mean a loud fart or the noise played before Armageddon - "the last trump".

          That sounds pretty much what it means in the land of the breakfast burrito.

          1. Giovani Tapini

            Re: Communist leaders and their sensitivities

            Which one of those was the Trump that Nellie the elephant did when she said goodbye to the circus? It doesn't seem to fit either.,.

            1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
              Unhappy

              Re: Communist leaders and their sensitivities

              Giovani Tapini,

              You utter bastard! I used to like that song. Happy childhood memories and all that. I was never quite sure if leaving with a trumpety-trump was because she was making a trumpeting noise and that just didn't scan - or if it was trump trump trump as in the rumbling sound of a very heavy thing stamping on the ground.

              But now you're telling me that Nelly the Elephant was so pissed off with working conditions at the circus, that she packed her trunk (i.e. stuffed herself with a whole load of baked bean and onion bhajis and a brussels sprout chaser) - then committed elephantine chemical warfare.

              No wonder the Big Top was billowing!

              Next you'll be telling me that there's some sort of sexual innuendo in Tie Me Kangaroo Down Sport...

              1. Pedigree-Pete
                Happy

                @ I ain't Spartacus ref Tie me Kangeroo down Sport..

                Sexual inuendo....there is now. Thanks IaS.

        3. Pedigree-Pete
          Happy

          Re: Communist leaders and their sensitivities

          Trump = In UK English The Toy Dolls put it best..

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eti21PVHXrg

          1. jake Silver badge

            Re: Communist leaders and their sensitivities

            Dig that groove, baby.

      2. bombastic bob Silver badge
        Trollface

        Re: Communist leaders and their sensitivities

        Every leader, most likely, has *something* for which they _SHOULD_ be made fun of. Whenever there's a leader you can NOT make fun of (whether for political correctness or political oppression reasons) there's something *seriously* *WRONG* with that picture...

        1. Aladdin Sane

          Re: Every leader, most likely, has *something* for which they _SHOULD_ be made fun of.

          If you can't say "Fuck", you can't say "Fuck the government".

          Lenny Bruce

    2. Roj Blake

      Re: Communist leaders and their sensitivities

      And Cameron means "man who is fellated by livestock" in English.

  4. Paul Herber Silver badge

    Tibet

    I'm sure a mention of Tibet would be appreciated as well.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Tibet

      Can we also reference the financal interests of family members wtih unexplained wealth?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Tibet

      I have a book written by a French explorer in 1939-40 about Tibet and how the Chinese were gaining influence by putting down bandits and stopping the monks from oppressing the peasants.

      I'm not excusing the Chinese but Tibetan Buddhism was pretty horrible and Buddha would doubtless have felt about it the way Jesus would feel about the Orange Order*. The Dalai Lama may be a progressive guy but his predecessors were not.

      The Cultural Revolution was an utter disaster for just about everybody in the Chinese sphere of influence and Hong Kong and Taiwan were incredibly lucky to avoid it, but Tibet has a bit more nuance than you might think.

      *What is it about the colours orange and yellow and dodgy religions?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Tibet

        This book may be of interest to you

        https://www.amazon.co.uk/Japanese-Agent-Tibet-Travel-Disguise/dp/0906026245

        It was noticeable that the writer stayed with a family on the Tibetan border who cordially hated both his own country and the Chinese, on the basis that whomever ran the area at any one time tended to demand the right to sleep with his wife. As you say, Tibet was not a well run country pre-1950. That being said, post 1950 has been a lot worse :-(

      2. Francis Boyle Silver badge

        Re: Tibet

        The Dalai Lama may be a progressive guy but his predecessors were not.

        Or maybe not.

      3. Alan Brown Silver badge

        Re: Tibet

        "The Dalai Lama may be a progressive guy but his predecessors were not."

        And neither are many of his contemporaries in a certain other "Buddhist" country to the southeast, which has experienced what can only be described as "religious clensing" since 1962 (which is at the root of the refugee crisis going on there at the moment)

        1. Aladdin Sane

          Re: Dodgy religions

          Is there any other kind?

      4. mintus55

        Re: Tibet

        china ended feudalism in tibet which is huge but here we just hear people crying about the dalai lama, not celebrating the end of slavery.

        i'm not sure how legit tibetan buddhism is as a religion because steven seagal was once recognised as the official reincarnation of an historic lama

        1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

          Re: Tibet

          I think you'll find Steven Segal is the re-incarnation of the Ate-Pie Lama.

          Basically he had to find religion in order to have an excuse to abandon trousers and shirts for the more slimming robed look.

          It also gives him inspiration for writing the dialogue in his excellent films...

  5. Trollslayer
    Thumb Up

    Who needs Zorro?

    We have El Reg!

    1. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

      Re: Who needs Zorro?

      We have El Reg! .... Trollslayer

      Beware Paper Tigers, Trollslayer ..... and the Virtual Trojan which prances as a Champion in one's midsts.

      What's the naked truth? El Reg has captive audiences or audiences captivate El Reg? Or is it really quite a bit of both and something altogether more different and mostly novel?

      Needless to say is an alien view defaulted to the latter.

      And ..... if the gospel truth be told ..... Who needs Zorro when we have Ones and Zeroes?

    2. Primus Secundus Tertius

      Re: Who needs Zorro?

      I congratulate el Reg for publishing this article. Sir Humphrey Appleby would have called it a courageous decision.

  6. Allan George Dyer

    Not the entirity of China...

    "ban pretty much any mention or image of the stuffed animal in the entire country"

    Nope. The film is in cinemas in Hong Kong and Macau. One Country, Two Systems!

    [Note: One Country, Two Systems policy is a time-limited offer, and not guaranteed to apply in cases of abduction of booksellers, disqualification of opposition lawmakers, banning of a political party or at the Kowloon Express Rail Link Terminus. Please enjoy the film, while you can.]

    1. John Savard Silver badge

      Re: Not the entirity of China...

      When Britain returned Hong Kong to Chinese control in 1997, statements publicly made at the time made it clear that "One Country, Two Systems" was limited to 50 years, and, more importantly, was not part of the essence of the agreement. Which means that if China should decide to impose its system on Hong Kong at some time in the future, Britain is not allowed by the terms of the relevant treaty to treat this as causus belli and take Hong Kong right back.

      Of course, this is sadly understandable, since mainland China has got its hands on the Maxim gun, oops, sorry, nuclear weapons.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Not the entirity of China...

        "Britain is not allowed by the terms of the relevant treaty to treat this as causus belli and take Hong Kong right back."

        The massive disparity in military power and the relative distances surely outweigh any treaties anyway. We only just managed to get the Falklands back. And if it happened again, we perhaps could not.

      2. eldakka Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: Not the entirity of China...

        Which means that if China should decide to impose its system on Hong Kong at some time in the future, Britain is not allowed by the terms of the relevant treaty to treat this as causus belli and take Hong Kong right back.

        Is this why the Brits have built themselves a couple super(ish) carriers?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Not the entirity of China...

          "Is this why the Brits have built themselves a couple super(ish) carriers?"

          To provide targets for the hypersonic missiles of the Chinese Navy? I'm sure we could have done it cheaper.

        2. Alan Brown Silver badge

          Re: Not the entirity of China...

          "Is this why the Brits have built themselves a couple super(ish) carriers?"

          What are they going to do with those carriers? Sail them into Kowloon harbour and launch paper aircraft off the bow?

          1. Giovani Tapini

            Re: Not the entirity of China...

            Sail? At least one will probably need to be towed...

          2. Allan George Dyer

            Re: Not the entirity of China...

            @Alan Brown - "Sail them into KowloonVictoria harbour and launch paper aircraft off the bow?"

            FTFY

      3. Allan George Dyer

        Re: Not the entirity of China...

        @John Savard -

        "When Britain returned Hong Kong to Chinese control in 1997, statements publicly made at the time made it clear that "One Country, Two Systems" was limited to 50 years," - Yes.

        " and, more importantly, was not part of the essence of the agreement." [citation needed] - I don't recall that.

        But this is besides the point. China made the promise of "One Country, Two Systems" to the people of Hong Kong, in the form of The Basic Law, which the National People's Congress adopted in 1990. It is The Basic Law that says we [I am a British citizen living in Hong Kong with permanent residence, so that includes me] can watch films about Winnie the Pooh (Article 27, Freedom of Speech). However, many people here are worried that the protections under The Basic Law are being eroded before the supposed 50 years are up... for instance, the abduction of booksellers (Article 28, no arbitrary or unlawful arrest, detention or imprisonment).

        As to Britain's involvement... no-one here is under any illusion that Britain has the military might to fight a war over HK. I don't think anyone wants a return to British rule... even the Hong Kong National Party (soon to be banned), who often wave the colonial flag at protests, advocate independence, not colonial rule. However, the Joint Declaration was an agreement between China and Britain, therefore, Britain has every right to speak out when China breaks the agreement. Sadly, the value of trade with China and the pressures of Brexit make it likely that Britain will turn a blind eye.

  7. anthonyhegedus

    <censored>

    Well I'd like to add that <censored> and that <censored>-the-<censored> and his friend <censored> the donkey do look a lot like <censored>.

    <censored> boil his head <censored>

    And on a separate note, I bought one of these Mesh Wifi things, not one of the mainstream ones, but one made and designed by a Chinese company. It really is very good indeed and appears to be functioning perfectly. Not had any problems with it at all.

    1. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

      Re: It really is very good indeed and appears to be functioning perfectly.

      Are you sure? It seems to be corrupting specific words with <censored>

      1. Francis Boyle Silver badge

        ██ ██████ ███████

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  8. JeffyPoooh
    Pint

    Oh dear...

    I do awfully hope that my dear, dear cousin Winnie will be okay.

    1. Whiskers
      Linux

      Re: Oh dear...

      So anthropomorphism cuts both ways ....

  9. Absent

    I was in China recently and was surprised that I couldn't find a western news site that was blocked. Even Infowars and such wasn't blocked, much to Alex Jones' shock I would assume.

    1. nice spam database '); drop table users; --
      Thumb Up

      You found out that Western characterization of China is nothing but capitalist propaganda.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JI8AMRbqY6w

    2. nanchatte

      I couldn't find a western news site that was blocked. Even Infowars and such wasn't blocked,

      That's because Infowars is a fantasy role-play site, not a news vendor.

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