back to article Investigatory Powers Bill to be rushed into Parliament on Tuesday

The Home Secretary will formally introduce the Investigatory Powers Bill to Parliament on Tuesday, it is rumoured, inviting criticism that the Snoopers' Charter is being rushed through while MPs are distracted by the UK's looming EU membership referendum. The final draft of Theresa May's new Snoopers' Charter is ready to be …

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    1. phil dude
      Joke

      Re: Not Bad News for everyone

      worse than that, it's an Island....

      P.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Not Bad News for everyone

      Which is why people really should engage in plausible denability.

      1. Dr Scrum Master

        Re: Not Bad News for everyone

        Which is why people really should engage in plausible denability.

        I don't believe you.

  1. Someone_Somewhere

    Time to leave this sceptic isle methinks

    and never communicate with anyone there again - no email, no sms, no voip, no telephone calls, no printer produced text, no handwritten letters.

    No smartphone, featurephone or unremovable-battery-phone either.

    No perusing any of the websites you normally read (behavioural fingerprinting, don'cha know).

    Of course you'll noticably drop off the radar and become a person of especial interest as a result.

    But it's nothing that a complete identity change (up to, and including, full reconstructive surgery*). elocution lessons and suchlike won't ameliorate.

    Then relocate to a war-zone followed by more reconstructive surgery then a move to another war-zone followed by even more reconstructive surgery then a move to yet another war-zone and yet more reconstructive surgery.

    Now you can come back (via Greece) with a completely new identity, having 'lost' your papers in all the confusion of the last war-zone**, and issued new ones in Germany.

    Shouldn't take more than a couple of years at the most.

    * not a sex-change - too obvious

    ** don't mention the previous two

    1. Someone Else Silver badge

      @ Someone_Somewhere -- Re: Time to leave this sceptic isle methinks

      Did you really mean "sceptic", or was that a typo on "septic"?

      1. Someone_Somewhere

        Re: @ Someone_Somewhere -- Time to leave this sceptic isle methinks

        Autocorrect, unfortunately - yes, 'septic'

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    fuckin SLAG

    does wot it sez on the tin

  3. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

    It is only a matter of short time whenever they just don't get it

    And then the powers that wannabe wonder why third party terrorism is on the rise and will shortly be smarter targeting them personally as the enemy to be removed from the politically inept and corrupt and incorrect scene.

    Stupid is as stupid does.

    1. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

      Re: It is only a matter of short time whenever they just don't get it

      And is the above and this ...... http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2016-02-28/empire-will-strike-back ..... wrong, and not something to be radically and fundamentally remedied?

      And do you imagine intelligence and military forces will align themselves and support the indefensible and inequitable, the perverse and the corrupt? Would that not be incredibly stupid and naive of them and render them as legitimate future targets/persons of interest?

    2. Someone Else Silver badge
      Coat

      @ amanfromMars 1 - Re: It is only a matter of short time whenever they just don't get it

      Around here, we refer to that as a "Second Amendment Remedy".

      And for those on the right side of the Pond, or simply to young or brain-dead to remember, that was coined by a real, serious politician running for a real, serious office (U.S. Senate).

      1. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

        Re: @ amanfromMars 1 - It is only a matter of short time whenever they just don't get it

        Such blunt force trauma remedies are of course always a possibility, Someone Else, whenever systems insist on creating fools as personal tools of anonymising foe in need of radicalised attention.

        And the smarter that systems need to become to retain and maintain lead with Remote Command and Media Control, the greater the likelihood of the solution being considered perfectly normal and convenient when power is abused and misused/perverted and corrupted.

        The following being true is surely a real concern ……

        This, I argue, is somewhat analogous to an argument that we should be entitled to own firearms, despite the fact that SOME people will use them wrongly/immorally/illegally. The ownership is a right even though it may ultimately allow or enable an abuse that you consider wrong and punishable. I consider the truth of such an argument to be obvious and correct, and I know you would too.

        I realize that this lacks the crisp certitude of safety which would be reassuring to the average, "pre-libertarian" individual. But you are not the "average individual" and I trust that as long-time libertarians you will recognize rights must exist even given the hypothetical possibility that somebody may eventually abuse them.

        I do not know whether I "invented" or "discovered" this system; perhaps it's a little of both. I do genuinely believe that this system, or one like it, is as close to being technologically inevitable as was the invention of firearms once the material we now know as "gunpowder" was invented. I think it's on the way, regardless of what we do to stop it. Perhaps more than anyone else on the face of this planet, this notion has filled me, sequentially and then simultaneously, with awe, astonishment, joy, terror, and finally, relief.

        Awe, that a system could be produced by a handful of people that would rid the world of the scourge of war, nuclear weapons, governments, and taxes. Astonishment, at my realization that once started, it would cover the entire globe inexorably, erasing dictatorships both fascistic and communistic, monarchies, and even so-called "democracies," which as a general rule today are really just the facade of government by the special interests. Joy, that it would eliminate all war, and force the dismantling not only of all nuclear weapons, but also all militaries, making them not merely redundant but also considered universally dangerous, leaving their "owners" no choice but to dismantle them, and in fact no reason to KEEP them!

        Terror, too, because this system may just change almost EVERYTHING how we think about our current society, and even more for myself personally, the knowledge that there may some day be a large body of wealthy people who are thrown off their current positions of control of the world's governments, and the very-real possibility that they may look for a "villain" to blame for their downfall. They will find one, in me, and at that time they will have the money and (thanks to me, at least partially) the means to see their revenge. But I would not have published this essay if I had been unwilling to accept the risk.

        Finally, relief. Maybe I'm a bit premature to say it, but I'm satisfied we will be free. I'm convinced there is no alternative. It may feel like a roller-coaster ride on the way there, but as of today I think our destination is certain. Please understand, we will be free.

        Your libertarian friend,

        Jim Bell ……. Assassination Politics

        Nowadays though are novel arsenals loded with myriad other types of fantastic weapons to extraordinarily render fools their just desserts, and that is equally as terrifying methinks ...... although significant others would consider that most reassuring.

  4. LaunchpadBS
    Black Helicopters

    One wonders

    If perhaps Mr Cam didn't play this who EU thing up just to take our attention away from this

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    This was inevitable, someone wants this power and doesn't care how they get it.

    I used to think we live in a democracy but these days I'm not so sure, it seems that no matter which way you vote they will do whatever they have planned. I would go so far as to say that governments are just a front for whatever (insert tin foil hat) organisation is actually in power with token gestures made to the public every now and again to keep the illusion going. Take Cameron's speech on the EU, that was the first time I've heard them mention TTIP and in it he said "We are signing up to TTIP" so and I know slightly off topic but here we have a prime example of the government signing up to a secret corporate agreement without any interaction from anyone and we call this democracy?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      @Anonymous

      Actually the whole "Leave the EU" thing strikes me that way, the only 2 laws I've heard Government minsters specifically mention when they talk about "repatriating" lawmaking back from Brussels are Health and Safety (Chris Grayling), and The Working Time Directive (Cameron).

      So no legal recourse when you're injured by virtue of an employers negligence, and they will also be able to make you work more than 40 hours per week (ignoring the fact the UK negotiated an opt out clause, but it does rely on "voluntary" written assent from the employee).

      If they manage to repatriate those 2 from Brussels I think most ordinary people will regret it!!

      1. Terry 6 Silver badge

        Re: @Anonymous

        IMHO the two things go together.

        Both the new snooping powers and the fight against the EU are, for some MPs at least, about making sure that no one can limit what they do, not about protecting us, but removing our protections.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: @Anonymous

        "the only 2 laws I've heard Government minsters specifically mention when they talk about "repatriating" lawmaking back from Brussels are Health and Safety (Chris Grayling), and The Working Time Directive (Cameron)."

        Oh, you've noticed, shame nobody else seems to see past the foriegners taking our jobs shite. jacob rees-mog, mr Timewarp himself, said he didn't agree with the EU employments rights legislation on some TV interview I watched and I heard another tory MP say the same on TV.

        I'm assuming we will be out, as no press I have heard asks pertinent questions like "What red tape" when some MP vommits out "too much red tape" as an excuse to leave. The same for which EU migrants they want to send home, nurses currently an 8% staffing shortage or the 1 in 5 GPs that are foriegn workers? Apparently nannies and housemaids are exempt which covers the MPs and the rest of the populace are too busy playing with their shiney consumer goods, slaving over some celebrity or wanking over videos on the tubes.

        Personally I'll have my VPN in some foriegn land setup by then and plenty of ipv4 address space for it too. Maybe I should setup an office like Brill, Enemy of the state.

        Maybe the MPs extreemist idiology will breed a new set of domestic anti-extreemist terrorists.

    2. Mark 85 Silver badge

      This was inevitable, someone wants this power and doesn't care how they get it.

      My question is "who is following who"? or maybe "whom"? Over here in the States, it appears that each of us are trying to top the other in their killing off democracy.

  6. scrubber
    Joke

    Democracy? Constitutional Monarchy!

    Maybe the Queen will fulfil her constitutional role and refuse to give the bill royal assent.

    1. Afernie

      Re: Democracy? Constitutional Monarchy!

      She won't.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Cynical SoBs, aren't they?

    So Cameron is backing the Snooper's Charter, plus he's backing staying in the EU.

    So what happened to Conservatives being for small government??

  8. Bota

    Who remembers voting for ..

    Invading Iraq, Afghanistan, Bobig Syria, to bail out the banks, anything Blair related or the "historic" kiddie play at Dolphin House where no one still has been brought to account.

    Democracy?

    If you believe that I've got some magic beans for you to buy.

  9. Richard Parkin

    If you don't like the political system how did you vote in the AV Referendum?

  10. A Ghost
    Holmes

    Why is it...

    ...that only the good, the young, the beautiful, get cancer?

    Even if these bastards got it, they would deprive us of one of our few moments of joy, by saying it was something else.

    There's no justice in this world.

    And justice is not seen to be done.

    The people are not happy.

    And even if they are revolting, they are not revolting yet, and probably never will, but my god, if they ever do...

    Heads on sticks will be the least of it.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Hey, keep it down over there..

    You guys/gals keep all the sh!t down! If (when!?) it passes there, it'll make the "patriot act" over here look like an "exercise/experiment". Our next (fearfull) leader (either one of them) WILL make it so!

  12. Conundrum1885

    Re. Tinfoil hats

    https://falkvinge.net/2012/07/12/in-the-uk-you-will-go-to-jail-not-just-for-encryption-but-for-astronomical-noise-too/#comment-203527

    I still have my "Insurance" file here, never managed to work out quite what it was but judging by the prompt removal of the one referenced link after I informed the agency concerned it is probably MJ12/CTS/etc relating to a certain piece of hardware on a certain planet in our Solar System :-)

    Really should get around to mailing a copy because its interesting stuff suggesting a cover-up.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    ONE option

    Lets just hope there is an MP with a spine who can Filibuster.

    Oh wait its resisted all stages and lords to be voted through both houses on the 23/06/2016

  14. Jonathan Richards 1 Silver badge
    Go

    Many eyes...

    ... make bugs shallow; maybe this works for draft legislation, too.

    Instead of unfocussed beefing to our MP's why don't we divide up the draft bill between us, and give just our bit a good read, then pool our problems, to be distributed to said MPs. After all, there's a wealth of expertise here, a wide range of opinions, and a fortnight to go before the second reading.

    However, as I post this, the draft bill does not appear on legislation.gov.uk. Does anyone know where to get a copy?

    Edit: Found it

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