back to article Roll up, roll up for the Commentards' Ball

We here at El Reg have much love for our vociferous, knowledgeable, occasionally somewhat foam-flecked commentards - even if they/you don't absolutely always love us. It's not our way in general to show affection, or indeed any other emotion - we are British, after all - but we think it may be time to put some substance behind …

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    1. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

      Re: To Paraphrase

      I would not wish to attend any ball that would have me.

      Rosie ..... Rosie Davies

      Neither would I, Rosie.

      GODisaGoddess ur2die4 :-) Poe's Law Rules :-0 ....... and is in AI Rampant in NEUKlearer HyperRadioProActive IT.

  1. cracked
    Gimp

    I am only prepared to attend if you are stumping up for First Class return tickets, on an airline I've heard of.

    Otherwise, please send me several bitcoins and I'll buy my own beer with them (well and the $5 I found down the back of my sofa)

  2. All names Taken
    Alien

    Dahn saff beer?

    No fear?

  3. wolfetone Silver badge
    Pint

    Will it be at The Winchester?

    1. Psyx

      Until it all blows over, yes.

    2. AdamT

      unfortunately that pub got turned into apartments. (let's see if a google streetview link works)

      https://maps.google.co.uk/maps?q=39+Monson+Road,+SE14&hl=en&ll=51.477954,-0.047715&spn=0.000007,0.004549&sll=51.537794,-0.101624&sspn=0.55607,1.164551&t=h&hnear=39+Monson+Rd,+London+SE14+5EQ,+United+Kingdom&z=18&layer=c&cbll=51.477954,-0.047715&panoid=g5APZIJzrVnWGd3Z_WRAJw&cbp=12,355,,0,-5.94

      1. wolfetone Silver badge

        "

        unfortunately that pub got turned into apartments. (let's see if a google streetview link works)

        https://maps.google.co.uk/maps?q=39+Monson+Road,+SE14&hl=en&ll=51.477954,-0.047715&spn=0.000007,0.004549&sll=51.537794,-0.101624&sspn=0.55607,1.164551&t=h&hnear=39+Monson+Rd,+London+SE14+5EQ,+United+Kingdom&z=18&layer=c&cbll=51.477954,-0.047715&panoid=g5APZIJzrVnWGd3Z_WRAJw&cbp=12,355,,0,-5.94"

        It blew over too quickly by the looks of things.

  4. Boris the Cockroach Silver badge
    Pint

    Central London?

    thats the bit on my map that says "here be dragons and monster most diverse"

    And besides... my doc does'nt let me drink ... so I'll have to raise a virtual one

    Boris

    1. Tom 7 Silver badge

      Re: Central London?

      That's from where they want to spend a lot of money on a train set so they can save the twenty minutes it takes to get a cab when you really need one on a trip up north they never take.

      1. Boris the Cockroach Silver badge
        Pint

        Re: Central London?

        You want a crappy train set, try the one that comes down in this direction.... 62 miles by rail to good old 3 miles east of Portsmouth... takes 1hr 22 mins by 'express' service.

        Anyways... back to the virtual beer

    2. John 110
      Pint

      Re: Central London?

      @Boris

      "And besides... my doc does'nt let me drink ... so I'll have to raise a virtual one

      Boris"

      Switch to OpenOffice, the odt doesn't care whether you drink or not. And it's free (as in beer)...

  5. Valeyard

    I suspect..

    ...That the register is trying to make sure the next prototype Apple phone is dropped in a place of their choosing.

    That'll make 'em listen!

  6. Simon Rockman

    Can I order..

    A slice of lemon wrapped around a large gold brick?

  7. Buzzword

    Only if...

    I'm only coming if "aManFromMars" comes too. I'm sure he (or she) is quite eloquent in real life.

    1. Psyx

      Re: Only if...

      You'd have to file the paperwork to get him sprung for the day.

      1. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

        Re: Only if... But also

        You'd have to file the paperwork to get him sprung for the day. .... Psyx

        Please be advised, all those who would be a'thinking of the necessity of such things, that all has been duly and dutifully filed ship shape and bristol fashion, and has the guv'nor's blessing. Registration of certain interest in free beers on the house and enlightened chat amongst peers [and here's also proposing cheerleaders too, please] has been made and all that is awaited is rendezvous point info and email invitation which be in the lap of, ye gods, El Reg.

        Where there's a Will, there's a Way. No Word, No Play.

    2. Brewster's Angle Grinder Silver badge

      Re: Only if...

      I'm sure you could wire up a mobile phone doing voice recognition to aMfM and it'd make as much sense as anybody.

  8. IHateWearingATie

    Don't do it...

    It's a cunning plan to get the worst commentard critics in one place and 're educate' them, BOFH style.

    Cattle prods at the ready...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Don't do it...

      Since I can't click the thumbs up icon any more...

      Tsssszzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Don't do it...

      ... especially if they are the Lester Haines 'electric cannon' variety of cattle prod.

  9. Vic

    London's a pain in the arse to get to...

    How about a set of regional Commentard's Balls?

    My current venue of choice in Southampton is called the Butcher's Hook. It does Proper Beer, so don't expect lager or anything of that ilk. I'll be buying the first 10 pints on the same evening as the London meet (i.e. next Wednesday). And I don't want to flog your details to any "partners"...

    Get there early - they shut at 10pm. And the place is *tiny*...

    Vic.

    1. Trevor 3

      Re: London's a pain in the arse to get to...

      I'll check my calendar when I get home.

      I've not heard of butchers hook... will have to look it up regardless :)

      1. Vic

        Re: London's a pain in the arse to get to...

        > I've not heard of butchers hook

        It's only just opened. I went there last night and was suitably impressed by the beers.

        SO18 1NN, if you're interested.

        Vic.

        1. Schultz

          Re: London's a pain in the arse to get to

          If you ever get around the globe, feel free to call on me for the beer. Make that 'beer'.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: London's a pain in the arse to get to...

          I'm near to you Vic, but sadly am unable to make it to Bittern due to prior commitments :(

          However, should El Reg ever plan a more central England location for such a jolly, I'd be more than happy to make time available for a trip back here.

          A highly recommended brewery.

        3. Fading

          Re: London's a pain in the arse to get to...

          I used to live around the corner from there - never a decent pub that side of the river at the time..... Sorcerer or the Copperfield used to be my usual haunts.

    2. Roo
      Windows

      Re: London's a pain in the arse to get to...

      That's a tempting offer Vic, just wish I lived in Southampton instead of London so I could take advantage of it on a 'school night'. ;)

    3. Pypes

      Re: London's a pain in the arse to get to...

      I regularly host a regional commentators ball, several nights a week in fact. Sadly the attendance is very poor and I often end up being the only Reg reader there.

    4. Scroticus Canis

      Re: @Vic - London's a pain in the arse to get to...

      Think you are confusing ale with beer if you talking about traditional UK brews which I am totally un-fond of. Real beer is lightly golden and glorious and conforms to the Reinheitsgebot. Cold draft Guinness is also good but it's a porter.

    5. Vic

      Re: London's a pain in the arse to get to...

      > I'll be buying the first 10 pints on the same evening as the London meet

      So is anyone planning to come along? Or am I drinking all 10 pints myself :-)

      Vic.

  10. Peter Gathercole Silver badge

    It's a bit short notice for me.

    I would have been interested, but I won't get an overnight pass, or authorisation for travel or accommodation from the significant other!

  11. Dabooka Silver badge
    Pint

    Well I hope it goes well...

    although I don't comment enough, although multiple times a day visitor, to tag along. Plus up Newcastle anyway, bit far for a bevvie.

    However, I do like the mock up El Reg pint glass, get them made up and put me down for one. You wanted some ideas for stock in the Reg's shop, yes?!

  12. Eugene Crosser
    Pint

    I will tele-toast from 2500 km away

    cheers!

  13. ADJB

    I suspect that the only people who will bother to turn up in London will be employed at the silicon traffic calming measure or whatever it's called and may not be representative of real life.

    Get thee out to the sticks and you will save more than the rail fair in reduced ale prices.

    1. Ted Treen
      Headmaster

      Or even...

      ...the rail fare...

      1. ADJB

        Re: Or even...

        Fair comment :)

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      @ADJB

      >you will save more than the rail fair in reduced ale prices

      But this will be more than made up for by the quantity of ale supped, everyone knows those sissy southerners can only down half a pint before passing out, it's going to be a cheap evening.

      1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

        Re: @ADJB

        For proper cheap beer, available a short rail journey away, that's also incredibly strong... May I propose Brussels. Yummy food as well.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: @ADJB

          Decent beer? Go to the Euston Tap.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    My town has it's own brewery

    And a fairly good one at that, if you want to plan a regional session down south, this is the place to come, I think the brewery even has facilities to rent.

    Otherwise it's too short notice for me unfortunately.

    1. Vic

      Re: My town has it's own brewery

      So does mine - the Dancing Man brewery.

      I think their beers are gorgeous, but they tend towards the hoppy, so probably not to everyone's taste.

      Vic.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: My town has it's own brewery

        Ours is the Ringwood Brewery, can't say I've had a bad ale from them so far.

      2. This post has been deleted by its author

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: My town has it's own brewery

      That's about the umpteenth time I've seen "too short notice". Now we're sorting out the men from the boys, at least we would be if they'd come out from behind the mask.

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: My town has it's own brewery

        Mask because I have just revealed my town and my bosses aren't that thick.

        (although I apparently am, because I just posted the exact same post but forgot the anon tick, DOH!)

  15. ElNumbre
    Pint

    Token

    If you'd like to post a token to my home or work address, I can consume my pint from here AND limit the carbon impact of having to travel beyond the gates of Nodnol. One of those bluey/green or orangy/brown ones will be perfect, although a purply/blue or red one would be equally well received.

  16. Longrod_von_Hugendong

    I wouldn't walk 500 miles...

    to get there.

    Its plenty more miles than that to get to London from this part of Scotland.

    1. Intractable Potsherd Silver badge

      Re: I wouldn't walk 500 miles...

      Same here - it would be fun (in a strange sort of way), but the London-centric location means a burdensome six-hour train journey, or a small fortune on a flight from the local airport to London City.

  17. Ketlan
    Devil

    Hands off the bollocks!

    "Roll up, roll up for the Commentards' Ball"

    You leave my fucking balls alone!

    Can't be there. I'm tucked away in the dark and damp North West. But have a great time and several beers on me, you lucky bastards!

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