back to article Space probe spies MYSTERY 'Cold Spot' in very fabric of cosmos itself

Top international boffins poring over a newly-produced sky map of the microwaves released when the entire universe exploded into being out of soup have confessed themselves baffled by a mysterious "cold spot" on the chart whose existence today's science cannot explain. MYSTERY of the cosmic soup blast shine cold spot enigma …

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    1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: Everyone's got it wrong...

      However, it looks like for some reason, we are seriously on the right track, although lots of questions may never be decidable or experimentally verifiable.

      If at the end a mathematical structure pops out that has no free parameters and maps perfectly well to the real world, I would consider this, job done, you can has cake!

      (Yes, I consider Portal a tale on the fight against a psychopathic, sadistic mother nature. And maybe there is a way to get behind the obviously fake theater props that are offered to us)

      See also:

      The Unreasonable Effectiveness of Mathematics in the Natural Sciences

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It's the blow hole ...

    ... where all the matter was blown in to the universe from "outside". If you fire a really big asteroid at it you can knock the plug out, and then we're all forked.

    I mean the universe must be at higher pressure than the "outside" to stay inflated (say, like a bike tyre), and therefore at higher temperature (because higher pressure means higher temperature). The blow hole is sticking out into the cold "outside" and probably has a locally high surface area relative to volume of internal matter, therefore a cooling effect ensues.

    QED ;P

    1. ravenviz
      Mushroom

      Re: It's the blow hole ...

      It's the plug in the ebony bath.

  2. GSV Slightly Perturbed

    [Broadcast Eclear, sent 1363902915.4]

    xGSV Slightly Perturbed

    oBOFH Reg Readers

    *coff* Methinks that might be the Dinner Is Ready. I'll inform them that the locals here are getting smarter, and that certain ships might be prudent to get their fat arses out of the way or learn how to shield up properly.

    That or stay vewwy vewwy still, and maybe the natives won't know it's us.

  3. Esskay
    Coat

    Advanced Boffinry

    At what point does boffinry become advanced?

    1. GSV Slightly Perturbed

      Re: Advanced Boffinry

      [Broadcast Eclear, sent 1363902915.4]

      xGSV Slightly Perturbed

      o(unknown) Esskay

      Day by day in every way.

    2. Crisp

      Re: Advanced Boffinry

      When it becomes rocket science. (Or brain surgery, take your pick)

      1. Richard 12 Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: Advanced Boffinry

        Rocket surgery must be more difficult.

        I mean, it's not brain science.

  4. Chris Tierney
    Mushroom

    Bubble is beginning to burst

    Much like the economic recovery, the universe is a big bubble and what we are seeing is the intergalactic equivalent of a bursting bubble. I recon we should prepare a mix of fairy liquid, water, epoxy & Uranium 235 and launch an intergenerational mission to repair the burst.

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

      1. illiad

        Re: Bubble is beginning to burst

        hmm, just FTL wont get you there... Doctor who might get you back in time to see it :)

        If you STILL have not realized, this is LOOKING **back in time** due to it takes that long for the light to get here!!

        now just assume this was possible..

        If you took a spaceship and traveled 100 million light years, then you would see more...

        If you took a spaceship and traveled to that point, 13.82 billion light years away...

        you would see much the same as WE see, on earth... lots of stars , but different constellations... you cannot prove that the universe is limited, because it is impossible to see it all.. I say that

        there are some scientists that believe that if the universe is big enough, the total gravity will cause it to curve into a sphere.. so, if you have that impossible drive that will travel a billion billion light years in a short time, you may find yourself back where you started!!! :)

        1. This post has been deleted by its author

  5. R0b07
    Coat

    I, for one,

    would like to welcome Frosty the snowman as our new overlord, G̶o̶d̶ bless his giant frozen balls.

    mines the one with the mittons on the string hanging out the sleev.

  6. Euripides Pants
    Joke

    Maybe its a....

    ...Cold Sore!

  7. Martin Budden Bronze badge
    Pint

    It's where God rested His beer.

    And on the second day, He invented coasters.

  8. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

    Global Communications HQ in Charge with Care of Virtual Machines .....

    ..... and/or a Type Unit 61398 Confection with AIdDelightful Trojan Vessels and Platforms*

    How very nice to have it confirmed by El Reg commentards that there are Others in A.N.Others and much more intelligent life phorms out there, and over here and in everywhere, to take and make over executive power and applicable control of the universe with Global Operating Devices Programming for Creative CyberSpace Command and Control of Computers and Communications.

    And that statement of fact to answer with procurement to ...... well, if it doesn't compute with Iain Lobban and the cowgirls and boys in the wild wacky west, are there always the attractions and temptations of the exotic erotic east to sample and enjoy and supply with the sublime provision of surreal goodies for we're all in IT together, don't you know.

    *Master PilotedD CyberSpace Station with Future Deliveries of Beta News with Fab Views.

    Oh, and before anyone not au fait with Systems Feed Seed Needs says anything silly, to expose themselves as being the lesser of beings than one can imagine them being but presuming they are not in worlds where hope springs eternal and dreams are granted, you might like to read this tall tale which presumably is the gospel truth to be accepted undisputed ..... Oddballs Wanted:-)

    IT takes spooks kudos to a whole new weird wireless level ...... :-)

  9. MacroRodent Silver badge
    Happy

    Any face in the picture yet?

    How long until someone massages the heat map colorisation and rotates it so that we see a human face in it? That should freak out some people!

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Maybe

    the cold spot is down to the microwaves being blocked by systems enclosed in Dyson Spheres. Whatever we do, we must not go there and let out the Primes. Keep Morning Light Mountain locked up.

  11. Bartlomiej Kochan
    Mushroom

    KISS

    1.

    Maybe it is the centre of the BBang from which the hot soup ran "outwards" creating cooler , emptier space.

    2.

    Might it be possible to confirm the picture by analyzing the dirty-white noise in analog TVs ?

  12. Blitheringeejit

    This map would be easier to relate to if ...

    ... the boffins had included a little arrow indicating "You will be here".

  13. mhenriday
    Pint

    Thanks, Lewis -

    now I'm waiting for your coming article demonstrating that this cold spot in the Universe around 13.4 thousand million years ago shows conclusively that global warming (on Earth) is a hoax....

    Henri

  14. TeeCee Gold badge
    Coat

    Ah!

    You know that thing about letting the genie out of the bottle?

    That's where the cork was......

  15. The Grump
    Devil

    Eureka...

    Get the Global Warming folks to believe that the cold spot is the proof they need, get them aboard a hastily cobbled together spaceship, and sent them on their way. Once launch is initiated, program the computers to forget where earth is, and voila, you get rid a a useless third of the population in one shot.

    Yeah, the bucket o bolts rocket will cost the entire GDP for the year, but it's so worth it.

  16. roger stillick
    Mushroom

    BIG Bang = Big Fooey ??

    Was an AT7T Microwave Tech when the 2.7 degree thingy was just the average temperature of the Universe... Who cares ?? it was just the lowest level our Masers couldn't get past for Comm stuff... Then they announced the Big Bang, and we all went Oh Boy, What a Reach... then we got the Size and Age of everything neatly packaged...

    One Really Small Problem... The end of Nasa's IR telescope provided a 7 year WMAP hi-rez pix color coded from zero to 20 degrees... and an exception file of many areas that went to ZERO...the horror !!... this is just 1 of many...

    Q= is the big bang the big splat or have we been on a 50 year jag into buying the validity of a theory ??

    caveiat, I'm Buddhist...no need for a big bang and a big death...endless and forever is Troublesome to some...RS.

  17. Sceptic Tank
    Coat

    But what about....

    Were those scientists not wearing their glasses? Shouldn't we be investigating that white oval? I can hear Jennifer Rush singing "Ring of Ice" already...

    Must admit I have no idea what we're looking at. If I were to take a picture of my left bum It would look similar -- except for the oval perhaps. If I look at that picture it looks like there is a hot-spot just to the lower-left of the cold spot. Insulation could be damaged?

  18. Philius

    I wrote a blog about the "big bang" - http://philipashmore.blogspot.ie/2012/08/the-condensing-universe.html

    I don't know why they're still calling it a "bang".

    If we're still receiving emissions from the birth of the universe then it must mean that the bang took as long as we've been able to measure the radiation - more than 50 years isn't a bang, not even a thud.

    At the "start" of the universe I'm in a room the size of an atom where the walls are covered in lights and I have to race away fast enough so that the room's big enough and the light from the walls is only reaching me now.

    No, no, men in white coats - I'm a physicist! A physicist!

  19. roger stillick
    Thumb Up

    32 reports and they are Troubling...

    Plank 2013 results span 32 reports... they cross checked with WMAP 9... and sure enough, most of the 17 anomalies in WMAP 7 were still there, just more complex= the letters SH in zero emission were troubling, as is the big hole of zero emission...other areas exhibited periodic changes in emission levels of up to +3,-3 degrees...Troubling...

    IMHO= new data will rewrite science, as it has always has...some find the future troubling, I do not...RS

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    That's where they tied the knot ...

    The Expanding Universe

  21. lforsley

    Origin of the "spot on the Universe"

    It is a belly button originating with the birth of the Universe. Can you imagine birth without a belly button, unless you're either a reptile or a bird? Since we've not found the shell (holographic universe boffins not withstanding), QED: belly button.

    Regrettably, the limited amount of matter in the universe maybe nothing more than lint.

  22. ravenviz
    Coat

    microwave wavelengths, equivalent to a temperature of just 2.7 degrees above absolute zero

    How come my microwave heats baked beans hotter than the sun?

  23. Cubical Drone

    That settles it!!

    The cold spot obviously proves the the non-existence of universal warming.

  24. Tzismisce

    Saw this on the telly

    I remember seeing a show that explained that regular deformations of the structure of the universe may reflect impaction with another universe...

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Pricey BS

    Ever notice how astronomy is the one branch of science when if they run up against something unknown, rather than admitting it, they descend into baby talk describing primordial space as a 'soup' or describing nebula dust clouds as 'star nurseries'. When you hear that kind of language you know they have left the realm of science and have entered the land of baby talk BS.

  26. Trustme

    Stargate found it first.....

    The initial revelation about this came not long after an episode of Stargate Universe was aired that revealed the ancients had found something significant in the CMB. Then Stargate Universe got cancelled. Coincidence? Well of course it is but it's still something for conspiracy theroists to get their teeth into! :)

  27. Scott Pedigo
    Facepalm

    OK, so the light is 13+ billion years old. It was emitted when the universe was much smaller. So there is this ball of soup, expanding, and at a certain point it has expanded far enough to cool off sufficiently for some subatomic particles to combine into atoms, emitting a certain spectral pattern, which we can now detect, red-shifted. Can somebody 'splain me where those photons have been travelling for the last 13 billion years? I mean, in all that time, they haven't been absorbed by anything or we wouldn't be seeing them now. But when they were emitted, the universe was small, say only a few hundred light-years across versus the current, what, 26 billion? So if I imagine a light-emitting ball of soup, the radiation that is going radially outward is an ever expanding wave front, going away from the matter of the ball, which now includes us. The light that got emitted in the other directions, like back toward the center of the ball, could only travel for a few hundred light years without going out the other side. So, what... the light has been going around in circles?

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