back to article Dawn of the X-Men? MUTANTS swarm AMONG US, say geneticists

Humanity has entered a new genetic era, according to a newly published study, with well over half the mutations found having occurred "recently". Potentially troublesome genetic changes are particularly common among those of European heritage compared to those with African forebears, the research shows. "The recent dramatic …

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    1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

      Re: I could be a mutant!

      You are just a fancy thermostat.

    2. Thorne

      Re: I could be a mutant!

      I've met some mutants who have the power to annoy people by opening their mouth

      Does this count?

    3. Androgynous Crackwhore
      Holmes

      Re: I could be a mutant!

      I hate to be the bearer of bad news but I'm afraid I'm about to poop all over your parade too:

      I seem to be able to do things that (most) other people can't. For example I can increase/decrease my heart rate and blood pressure at will.

      We can all do that! For example, somewhat ironically, when pooping.

      I can regulate my own temperature

      Yep. We all do that one too. Been around for millions of years I'm afraid.

      I have an above average lung capacity.

      You swim/dive then? Being active is jolly laudable and all but I don't really think it qualifies you as "mutant"

      ;o)

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: I could be a mutant!

        "Being active is jolly laudable and all but I don't really think it qualifies you as "mutant""

        It might on this forum.

    4. fajensen
      Pint

      Re: I could be a mutant!

      I have a well above average beer capacity ;-)

      Being a Scandinavian, I can break down alcohol faster and cleaner than most people. This extraordinary mutant power undoubtably comes from selection pressure: Any viking, who procreated, could handle an axe, a woman and someone calling his mead poof while being drunk ...

  1. Chuckterzella

    I can see the results of these studies everytime I look in the damned mirror, so don't rub it in, okay?

  2. sisk

    Mine is useful

    Back before I gave up alcohol I could drink insane amounts of liquor and not be affected overly. I once proved that I could down a fifth of whiskey and then pass a sobriety test (though it wasn't administered by cops). On more than one occasion I managed to remain on my feet and able to walk even after imbibing quantities of alcohol that left men triple my size sprawled on the floor (such as, in one case, a full bottle of tequila), and no matter how drunk I got (which was a pretty expensive proposition, so it didn't happen often) I was stone sober an hour after I quit drinking. This despite the fact that at the time I was skinny by any definition. Unlike with most heavy drinkers, I did not build up a resistance over time: my first drink was when a group of friends thought it might be fun to get me to pass out and failed when I drank them all under the table.

    Does that qualify as a mutant power?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Mine is useful

      I seem to remember it is a known genetic thing.

      Japanese colleagues once told me that it most of them could do this.

    2. AnoNymousGerbil
      Pint

      Re: Mine is useful

      I have similar problem. To get drunk is damn expensive because of amount alcohol needed :/

      Other interesting thing is that I never get hangover at all no matter how much I've been drinking.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Mine is useful

      Did you drive better after that much too?

      1. sisk

        Re: Mine is useful

        Did you drive better after that much too?

        Dunno. I was never dumb enough to try.

  3. VinceH
    Alert

    Optional

    Oh well. I guess our secret's out of the bag now, then. Next thing, the government will put together a team to track us down, using a small group of our own kind against us.

    1. Tom 7

      Re: Optional

      " using a small group of our own kind against us." to write a script for a TV series to eat our brains.

  4. Lars Silver badge
    Coat

    Calm down

    Life is mutant from the beginning and Dr. Suzanne Leal, professor of molecular and human genetics has to have something to write about. Personally I am waiting for the blonde Chinese girls. Nothing against the black but mutant would be nice.

  5. bag o' spanners
    Alien

    Please don't mention this to homo-erectus. You'll only excite him.

  6. chiller

    I have just telepathically sent my views on this subject to all readers.

    Nothing? pfft ... 'normal' freaks.

  7. Lloyd
    WTF?

    Well of course mutants are among us

    Who here has never watched some gentlemen's entertainment and thought "good lord, that chap is some sort of mutant, that thing's huge"?

  8. Alex King
    Facepalm

    Hoodathunkit!

    So, in developed nations, we're living longer, reproducing later and surviving previously lethal congenital abnormalities until reproductive age - and our level of mutations is going up as a population. What a massive surprise!

  9. oldcoder

    Actually, put it down to the invention of pants...

    After all, it has already been shown that raising the thermal environment of the male genitalia raises the mutation rate.

    So if you ladies want normal... go marry a Scotsman.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Actually, put it down to the invention of pants...

      ... a somewhat whimsical definition of "normal".

  10. BillboBaggins
    Coat

    Mutants You say!

    Mutants you say! I for one feel like in Huxley’s “Brave New Office” and I’m surrounded by Deltas/Epsilons

  11. Dries Marais

    MUTANT? My word....

    "......as with the Europeans as they moved out of Africa and became more pale-skinned to cope with the lack of sunlight."

    Really now - that is why they turned white? Pray tell what smell had caused the nose to become narrow and prominent IN FRONT of the teeth and chin line?

    And what had caused the frontal brain box to assume the flattened, barely slanted and exceedingly forward position in line with the chin?

    And what had completely reshaped the totally different ear shape and geometry?

    And what had caused the totally geneticaly new ability to design and build structures like bridges and wheels and develop writing which in two million years to this day had never occurred in Africa?

    And ALL the above in an astoningly momentary revolutionary flash of evolution over about 16 000 years? My word... truly amazing, some scientific opinion is.

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