back to article Consultants' eyes light up as UK.gov dangles £4bn over 6 years for 'large-scale digital transformation programmes'

UK government has tempted the ravenous software and consultancy supply market with £4bn in the name of "large-scale digital transformation programmes." At a time when the government has been forced to increase National Insurance tax to fund much-needed social care, the Cabinet Office's Crown Commercial Services has deemed it …

  1. leadyrob
    Mushroom

    Digital transformation

    Digital transformation - Does that mean the UK Government will finally stop using any Digital Equipment Corporation systems?

    I somehow doubt it...

  2. Natalie Gritpants Jr Silver badge

    I don't think I've ever gone shopping knowing what I'll spend and not knowing what I'll spend it on. Oh, hold, on. I remember being given a couple of quid at the seaside amusement arcade. I spent every penny (very quickly), I expect the people behind this feel the same as I did.

  3. Snowy Silver badge
    Joke

    Going to need

    More trains for all that gravy.

  4. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

    What to expect whenever more of the same is fatal to a failing state ......

    with a whole host of incompetent conventional governmental type administrations

    Now there's a very lucrative novelty for anyone who knows what needs to be done and how to do it remotely with IT and AI in Command and Control.

    Such is certainly that which any prospective tenderer will be up against in competition or vain opposition.

  5. Cederic Silver badge

    ludicrous buzzword

    I failed to get a job because they asked me if I had any experience delivering digital transformation.

    What, you mean like an entire career finding new ways to do new things to new data sources, automating all manner of business processes, introducing new digital channels and continually delivering business change through use of digital technologies?

    Apparently not. Idiot ex-consultant had sold her management the concept of digital transformation and wanted someone that she could put in front of them and say 'look, this person led a digital transformation at some big consultancy, isn't my hiring great'. Real world experience in transforming large complex corporations from within, like the one she worked for? Nah, sorry, didn't fill out her bingo card.

    Did I mention how much I hate consultants?

    1. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

      Re: ludicrous buzzword

      Cederic,

      Keeping things simple permits things to move along at a ludicrous pace.

      Hack into and crack open their systemic traditional methodologies which bind and blind executive administrations to shady and shadowy secretive instruction sets, which up until then and now were formerly ideally thought peerless and failsafe secure, and have the courses taken to effect that change of circumstances well documented to easily share universally, is the sort of experience they need in new hires ...... and if you can hire them, they aint gonna be happy and content with anything coming anywhere near close to chicken feed and peanuts, given the fortunes which can be lost with just a few clicks of an almighty mouse energising Mk Ultra Sensitive Proprietary Intellectual Property to others on the other side of a great divide with a dire straits need to know and happy to provide an extraordinary fortune to receive it.

  6. Pen-y-gors Silver badge

    Terms and Conditions

    1. Only apply if your company was incorporated less than 7 days before your application date

    2. Only apply if your company has paid-up capital of £100 or less

    3. Only apply if one or more of the directors have donated at least £50,000 to the Tories in the last 5 years

    4. Do NOT apply if your directors have any experience in 'digital' or 'in cyber'. Kebabs and/or hedge-funds will be ideal.

  7. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

    For Revolving Door and Public Gravy Train Types .... is IT More Hemlock than Ambrosia?

    With so much flash crashing cash being magically made available for the architects of large-scale digital transformation programmes, ..... and don't we just love the way that can be so easily proposed when other programmes are starving ...... one has to expect a government party responsible doing their bit to try to ensure they also get their sticky incestuous hands on the stash ........ and having a laundry to clean and rinse rotting fiat into something else you still command and control is handy, and very handy for that operation too, if you can get it to work that way for you. ........ https://www.express.co.uk/finance/city/1492959/cryptocurrency-latest-rishi-sunak-britcoin-digital-currency

    It is not without its great dangers though, not least it being an absolute fiasco/an Irish Sea Bridge too far, although that is not to say that great risk cannot deliver its unbelievable rewards if one knows what one is doing is going to be easily enthusiastically supported by all and sundry rather than by just a select chosen few who think they know everything a great deal better than you or anyone else will ever do.

  8. Malcolm Boura

    Going rate

    I have ample experience in this aspect of IT, near none, but I am unsure about the going rate for the Tory party donation. Can anyone advise please?

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