back to article Their 'next job could be in cyber': UK Cyber Security Council launches itself by pointing world+dog to domain it doesn't own

The UK Cyber Security Council announced itself to the public realm last week by touting a domain it doesn't own. Helpfully, internet jokesters then bought up variations on the official address. A brainchild of the Department for Digital, Culture, Media and Sport, the UK Cyber Security Council is billed by government as "the …

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  1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    "Department for Digital, Culture, Media and Sport"

    A good example of why I prefer to leave the second comma out of their name.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Cybersecurity - brought to you by media studies graduates and PE teachers

      1. Chris G Silver badge

        "Cybersecurity - brought to you by media studies graduates and PE teachers"

        Plus, presumably, representives from UK culture such as Morris dancers, bagpipers and sheep shearers.

        1. Andy Miller

          I know quite a few Morris Dancers who are Cyber Security practitioners. I wouldn't expect a Morris side to make this scale of blunder.

          1. HildyJ Silver badge
            Devil

            For this scale of blunder, Morris Dancers risk significant injury. Something that PR people seem (unfortunately?) to avoid.

            1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

              Also given access to a brewery, a Morris dance troop could be trusted to organise a piss-up

              1. Andy Miller

                I've been on many Morris related piss-ups, at least two in breweries, and they all have been excellent (as far as I can remember....)

                1. Stumpy Silver badge

                  If you can remember them, they can't have been that good now, can they?

                  1. Da Weezil

                    Oh I don’t know... maybe the transcript of the court case that followed might have proved informative, it certainly did for a few of us after a particularly “good” night

                    1. Eclectic Man Silver badge
                      Happy

                      Good King Wenceslas

                      I recall one Christmas Eve, my mother, a lay magistrate, being called in for an emergency court case. An American citizen due to fly back to North America on Boxing Day, had been accused of threatening behaviour towards a police officer.

                      Basically he and his friends had been on the piss the night before, had a good time and one had been arrested for something or other. Anyway, the American tried to get him bail from the Police Station, as this is possible in the USA. This was explained by him in court, and there had been a 'misunderstanding' by the Police Officer in question.

                      Anyway, when describing why the person had been arrested in the first place, a rather dour police sergeant explained that the group had been singing rather loudly, and although the tune had been 'Good King Wenceslas' "they were not the original lyrics".

                      One can only hope that the lyrics actually used were recorded in the court transcript.

                2. low_resolution_foxxes Bronze badge

                  The Venn diagram for Morris Dancing and CAMRA membership will have extensive crossover.

                  1. Gareth79

                    Can confirm, I knew a group of Morris Dancers and many were programmers/IT, mostly retired, and beer drinking was a significant part of the culture.

              2. Anonymous Coward
                Anonymous Coward

                Given access to an orchard, a Morris troupe could be trusted to organise a piss up - eventually

      2. katrinab Silver badge
        Meh

        I thought Dominic Cummings was a history graduate?

      3. Dave 15 Silver badge

        and the same guy...

        Yup, the same guy who brings you the 4th highest covid death rate in the world (by case) - the NHS - ran this infamous department and set up all this crap.

        The whole thing makes yes minister look quite tame doesnt it?

        Pathetic, totally and utterly pathetic.

        Use a domain that doesnt belong to us, buy ppe from a hotel in China and a bunch of sharks in Turkey and then commission the worlds most expensive and least competent track and trace from your latest girlfriend. What a bunch of no hopers in charge in the UK. People wonder why we routinely ignore the blundering anuses

        1. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

          Re: and the same guy...

          It appears to be systemic and endemic, Dave 15, .... a cancer cavorting like a Jim'll Fix It in everyones' midst and smiling for the cameras at every failing reboot.

          amanfromMars [2104071354] ....... painting an obvious picture on https://www.zerohedge.com/political/fallout-greensill-collapse-splatters-british-government-leaves-taxpayers-big-losses

          Cameron himself refuses to even respond to the lobbying allegations. His ear-splitting silence speaks volumes about the state of British politics today.

          Such speaks nothing but ripe rotten to its very core and catastrophically vulnerable to flash crashing and colossal trashing. To think or imagine that lessons have been learned by those always active in that particular peculiar sector is to identify oneself as being totally deluded.

          The self same actors in a soap opera are never going to produce and present a stellar alternative performance. They just don't have the necessary IT/je ne sais quoi/chutzpah to deliver sustainable success.

          And what does Cameron's silence tell one and all about the pathetic powerless state of Parliamentarians and honourable members of the Official Opposition and Her Majesty's Civil Service  ...... apart from them being likely easily presumed to be similar to gang members guilty of conspiring in criminal enterprises and perpetrating monumental frauds?

          J'accuse.

  2. tfb Silver badge
    Big Brother

    Clown government turns everything to clown

    News at 11.

  3. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

    dot org ?

    >the government's Defence Industrial Strategy

    I know defence spending is tight (unless you are an aircraft carrier or an F35) and industry is strapped for cash and the government has no money whatsoever - but are they really a charity ?

    1. Tom Chiverton 1
      Mushroom

      Re: dot org ?

      Nukes, don't forget nukes.

      Can't pay the nurses, can afford to blow the planet up a few more times...

      1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

        Re: dot org ?

        Nuke the nurses

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: dot org ?

        are you suggesting they're suggesting we, The Plebs, all chip in (aka share economy, share burden)? I thought we already pay for them nukes via taxes?

        1. General Purpose Bronze badge

          dot org - not just for charities

          All sorts of not-for-profits use dot org and of course Nominet don't ask questions. So you'll find, for example

          some quangos and regulators - acas.org.uk, asa.org.uk, ofcom.org.uk but ofwat.gov.uk

          industry bodies - cbi.org.uk, newsmediauk.org, ukpayments.org.uk

          campaigners - amnesty.org.uk, libertyhumanrights.org.uk (can't be charities under UK charity law because their aims aren't on the list of charitable purposes)

          local residents associations

          resources set up by academics etc - visionofbritain.org.uk

          and so on....

          1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

            Re: dot org - not just for charities

            Yes but none of those are actually official government military-industrial complex organisations

            1. GiantKiwi

              Re: dot org - not just for charities

              Technically, neither is this - that title is held by NCSC.

          2. JeffB

            Re: dot org - not just for charities

            The one that always puzzled me was NorthernRail.org, they were not a charity, quango, regulator or non-profit...

            1. katrinab Silver badge
              Trollface

              Re: dot org - not just for charities

              There's no profit left after the fare money has been siphoned off to their offshore account.

              Allegedly.

            2. Sgt_Oddball Silver badge

              Re: dot org - not just for charities

              No, they were a government organised charity... In as much as those bloody whiney Northern types (of which I consider myself one) should be consider it an act of charity to even have trains.

              If true blue types had their way we'd be back to using bicycles, the canals and our legs... (looking at Leeds City centre recently, they're certainly making a damn good go at it).

          3. TDog

            Is it only me?

            But every time I see ofwat.gov.uk I feel inclined to add the missing 't'.

            1. 2+2=5 Silver badge

              Re: Is it only me?

              > But every time I see ofwat.gov.uk I feel inclined to add the missing 't'.

              tofwat - the posh people's regulator

              1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

                Re: Is it only me?

                <Bertie Wooster>Wat Ho!, Top Hole!"</Bertie Wooster>

                1. Anonymous Coward
                  Anonymous Coward

                  Re: Is it only me?

                  Wrong hole, THOT.

          4. Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

            Re: dot org - not just for charities

            Human rights arnt on the list of charitable purposes?

            thats a shame

    2. Dave 15 Silver badge

      Re: dot org ?

      Defence spending? What the bloody hell is the point? We have no steel industry so cant make a gun, bullet or tank. We dont have a tank industry so we couldnt build one if we had the steel. We gave up building guns 50 years ago and import them. The bullets come from South Afirca and are too expensive to actually fire any. The Army isnt big enough to fill a football stadium even if you incldue the 10,000 generals. The navy has a mothballed expensive aircraft carrier and 2 rowing boats and nearly enough airplanes to staff the one carrier left - not that they are allowed to fly them, service them or repair them (have to send them to Italy and Turkey for repairs and they dont fly if the weather might rain in the next 48 hours.

      Frankly I cant think of a government since 1945 that has had the brains to understand how we would defend ourselves if we ever had to. As we cant there is bugger all point in having a ministry of defence or any forces at all. It is bloody sad that we have such a brainless bunch of no hope muppets in charge - and as its the oxbridge educated classics graduate Russian spies that run it as civil servants the brainless morons who fill the houses of parliament (and that is not party political, they are all dumb as shit) are irrelevant in honesty.

      1. Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

        Re: dot org ?

        I reckon we should go with the swiss model.

        Apart from the "Everyone keep a rifle at home" part

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: dot org ?

          Full of holes?

  4. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge
    Joke

    Double bluff

    If they react quickly enough maybe they could spin it as a test, to show who's paying attention to cyber security?

  5. Blofeld's Cat Silver badge
    Coat

    Er ...

    It could be that the "Ministry of Fun" simply requested a web site that nobody could hack.

    The ultimate in security by obscurity .,,

  6. Mike 137 Silver badge

    Thought leadership

    Thought leadership, like strategy, is something you talk about, not something you do (credit to Dogbert for the observation).

    Almost all these "initiatives" are pure waffle shops. I've participated in several over the years, and all they ever produced were "reports" that stated the obvious and drove zero change. Which is why the state of information risk has been worsening, not improving, for at least the last couple of decades.

    1. Eclectic Man Silver badge
      Meh

      Re: Thought leadership

      I hate the idea of 'thought leadership, so I looked it up on the interpleb*:

      from https://marketinginsidergroup.com/content-marketing/what-is-thought-leadership-and-when-you-should-use-it/

      "I define thought leadership as a type of content marketing where you tap into the talent, experience, and passion inside your business, or from your community, to consistently answer the biggest questions on the minds of your target audience on a particular topic."

      I confess that I am none the wiser for reading that.

      *Others may call it the 'World Wide Web, or the Internet, but as it connects us plebs across the world I believe that "interpleb" is appropriate.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Thought leadership

        I introduce myself as a thought criminal.

      2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        Re: Thought leadership

        "I confess that I am none the wiser for reading that."

        I sounds like a long winded way of telling people to create a FAQ and keep it updated.

        (Note that Frequently Asked Questions doesn't include the word "Answers")

  7. nsld
    Paris Hilton

    Looks like they are retraining

    As ballet dancers, they just don't know it yet........

    1. Steve Foster
      Facepalm

      Re: Looks like they are retraining

      Well, they've got the whole foot in mouth thing down pat...

    2. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

      Re: ballet dancers

      They've been practising to do a pas de d'oh.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: ballet dancers

        comment en pointe

        1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge
          Pint

          Re: ballet dancers

          They spent too much time at the barre.

          1. Sgt_Oddball Silver badge

            Re: ballet dancers

            Oh come now, that's stretching it too far...

            1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

              Re: ballet dancers

              Oh, you need shooting for that! I shall use tutu rounds.

    3. Naselus

      Re: Looks like they are retraining

      Fatima's next job is probably back in ballet.

  8. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

    Global Operating Devices to ACTive Astute Internetional Rescue with AI Virtual Interventionism

    What more can one say other than GOD help us.

    And I know it is cold comfort to know all Five Eyes are definitely in the same sinking ship, but what is one to do whenever no one within their ranks and leadership are smart enough to listen to the better than just average Jane Doe and Joe Sixpack.

    Here's news of another hamstrung operation forever trying to play catchup while it continues to serially fail with its support for what is existing in their overall command rather than what is to be beyond their exclusive control.

    ...... just saying on https://www.nationaldefensemagazine.org/articles/2021/3/31/northern-command-leads-global-wargame-to-test-ai-capabilities

    “We need to go faster.”

    There is no doubt about the veracity of the need for that prime directive if one wants to be considered as leading in any effective position. However, and especially so in the virtually real cyber domain, it is not without its novel, extremely disruptive and/or destructive problems to address, with probably the major one being that one has no idea who almighty friend or hellish foe ..... who/which be well versed and highly experienced in what are surely virgin fields of overwhelming engagement for traditional and conventional forces and sources .... are.

    One is effectively only able to stumble around as if blind in such a space.

    And to consider that solutions are only to be provided by US citizens, because of the requirement to comply with national security obligations, renders one also deaf and dumb to everyone/everything else out there with a viable voice and rare raw view on unfolding matters.

    That is a fundamental handicap which guarantees failure in anything and everything mooted to be tried and tested.

    Take care, IT's an AI Jungle out there.

    ...... which may or may not be there as advertised here should it fall foul of the following advisory issued upon posting .... [Thank you. Your comment will be displayed soon after reviewing]

    Some folk and horses you can help and bring to water, others you can't and they would die of thirst for that which they have been led to, to freely partake of, and how idiotic of them is that. One would just have to accept then that they be beyond the reasonable help of all possible assistance and their personal prognoses are imminently terminal in any and every fast moving scenario.

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