back to article Fancy building to-spec PCs for the Bank of England, and more? A £46m end user support contract is up for grabs

The Bank of England has said it is looking for an IT supplier to support its extensive personal computer estate in a contract which is set to be worth around £46.5m. To get to grips with supporting 6,232 laptops, 589 desktop PCs, 2,237 tablets and around 160 printers, the publicly owned central bank of the UK is looking to …

  1. Snar

    Sounds like a job for Grayling

    or one of Cummings best buddies.

  2. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge
    Joke

    Put it all in the Cloud

    Job done. I'll have the £46M paid into my Chinese Bank Account thank you very much.

    Yours

    Donald Trump.

    [see icon]

  3. TimMaher Bronze badge
    Devil

    Did anyone ask IT?

    Just asking.

    TUPE at the ready?

  4. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

    Peanuts are for Monkeys.... Crown Jewels are for SMARTR Enabling of Systems ....

    ..... with SMARTR Enabled Systems in Operations.*

    Tony Blair's New Labour government made it an independent public organisation in 1998, wholly owned by the Treasury Solicitor on behalf of the government.

    A logical next question for honest answering then is surely..... Who is that and/or who be they with so much to wisely generously give/bestow/grant/lend-lease/write up, write off and write down as a legitimate expense for costly expansive start ups.

    Something AWEsome for/from the MOD for Dominic Cummings to Obsess Over. Something Refreshingly Different and Never Prone to Failure ...... and therefore Failsafe Almightily Powerful, Indetectable and Omnipresent Untouchable?

    What would you rather IT be Be ......... Fabless Fabulous Friend or Final Fatal Foe.

    :-) Can you believe CyberIntelAIgents in the UKGBNI have labs a'cooking with those ingredients, with the Resultant Above* proving constantly astounding?

    Your utter disbelief is the simplest of perfect stealth requirements delivered for unbridled and unhindered further future development both ACTive and ACTivating Sleeper Assets and Remote Trojan Partners in Fields Engaging with Leading AI for an Unassailable Advantage. As you can imagine, that has proven itself to be always the most attractive of readily available options, rendering one extraordinarily way out in the front practically everywhere where IT matters ....... and with blanks slates upon which to picture with the assistance and hosting of both mass and alternative media, the future which is completely different from the past and totally divorced from the present too.

    Think of it as having Magic Tales of New Beginnings to Show/Second Comings to Realise and Driver/Mentor and Monitor and you'll be more able to fully Understand and Aid Future Progress for Current Productions in Multiple Directions.

    A Clear Battle Ground is Virgin Terrain to Mould and Manipulate Ideally into Incredibly Pleasant Forms/Super Vistas. And they normally effortlessly get all the generous help and enthusiastic attention they need. Well, they would wouldn't they. Such is only natural surely? To expect anything else is totally illogical and soul-destroying.

    1. tel2016

      Re: Peanuts are for Monkeys.... Crown Jewels are for SMARTR Enabling of Systems ....

      Er... what?

      I think this is a bot

      1. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

        Re: Peanuts are for Monkeys.... Crown Jewels are for SMARTR Enabling of Systems ....

        Er... what?

        I think this is a bot ....... tel2016

        And were you to be advised it is not, tel2016, what then would you think?

        And what if you were confronted with the following opening paragraph posted to a bank underground blog entry entitled Hubble? Bubble? Valuation trouble?

        A NEUKlearer HyperRadioProACTive IT View on Relative Relevant Matters which Directly Impinges Upon and Fundamentally Alters Sovereign Bank Immunity to Systemic Risk and any Guarantees of Protection against Catastrophic Collapse.

        Would you think it bot trouble best ignored or worth the risk of further futuring engagement lest it be enthusiastically employed elsewhere by A.N.Others opposing and/or competing in practically identical and similarly lucrative fields of asset management?

        Would simple disbelief permit it further unhindered deeper passage to where it be best entertained and appreciated?

        Surely bots are just dumb machines, or is that what they used to be and now things are somewhat different and confusing?

        1. tel2016

          Re: Peanuts are for Monkeys.... Crown Jewels are for SMARTR Enabling of Systems ....

          "And were you to be advised it is not, tel2016, what then would you think?"

          I would think that you are talking nonsense.

          1. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

            Re: Peanuts are for Monkeys.... Crown Jewels are for SMARTR Enabling of Systems ....

            Do you often talk to bots, tel2016? There are helplines for that :-)

  5. Craig100

    Wonder who'll get it

    I'd be very surprised if it doesn't end up being of the Serco, Crapita, G4S et al kabal.

    1. sanmigueelbeer Silver badge
      Happy

      Re: Wonder who'll get it

      IBM -- It has got to be IBM.

      Why? Because IBM have a "reputation" (or lack of) to uphold.

      1. N2 Silver badge

        Re: Wonder who'll get it

        Crapita, they too have a reputation to uphold

        Turd icon perhaps?

      2. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
        IT Angle

        Re: Wonder who'll get it

        Would this type of work come under the remit of "NewCo"'?

  6. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    Remember, folks, if your employer gets it we expect to see at least one On Call or Who Me arising from it.

    1. Boris the Cockroach Silver badge

      one?

      Its a government contract so theres going to be 6 months of stories (or a complete book of 'believe it or not' )

      1. A.P. Veening Silver badge

        'believe it or not'

        That is a different franchise (Ripley) but for the rest I agree with you.

  7. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

    A Stitch in Time ....... Saves Meltdown

    Here is a service the Old Lady of Threadneedle Street needs to address PDQ, while it still can ...........

    Is this a picture you realise is a world in which you are living in and struggling ever harder to survive comfortably and prosper in …… The Mother Of All Market Bubbles, Part 2

    I wouldn’t like to be anyone a woke mob thought responsible for support of its continuance and perseverance into the future.

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