BOFH: You brought nothing to the party but a six-pack of regret

BOFH logo telephone with devil's horns "... And so we're thinking that some way of getting a morale boost would be good," the Boss burbles. "And cash was ruled out because?" I ask. "Money is a temporary thing..." "Much like morale in that respect," the PFY notes. "The Director wants something longer term. Something less …

[Michael H.F. Wilkinson]

Just the morale boost I needed

The "private plummet license" is a phrase I might like to use more often

[Anonymous Custard]

Re: Just the morale boost I needed

Being employable in the motor industry as a speed bump is also certainly going to get some re-usage...

[bpfh]

Re: Just the morale boost I needed

I think he was employed as a speed bump. Once...

[moooooooo]

Re: Just the morale boost I needed

well you need to test reverse gear sometimes, so twice.

[Muscleguy]

Re: Just the morale boost I needed

It brought to my mind Arthur Dent lying in front of the bulldozer.

[big_D]

Re: Just the morale boost I needed

It sounds like he was "employed" as a speed bump at the end of the story.

[Dave Ross]

Re: Just the morale boost I needed

I can think of quite a few members of the current cabinet who would be more usefully employed in that sector of the motor industry...

[Maverick]

I agree one of the best new phrases in a while that "private plummet licence"

cheers

[Charlie Clark]

It's a great slow burner.

[Anonymous Custard]

Phil the Toff

Are you sure he's not just using his grandfather's name as an alias, having recently decided to become financially independent and to take a step back from his previous role?

[Rich 11]

Re: Phil the Toff

Are you sure his grandfather's name wasn't John?

[chivo243]

'You brought nothing to the party but a six pack of regret?'

I'd buy it! It must be good with 6-pack and regret in the title!

[I ain't Spartacus]

Re: 'You brought nothing to the party but a six pack of regret?'

As Otis Lee Crenshaw says, "Country Music is just sittin' on the floor drinkin' a bottle of Jack Daniels with the big, lonely, salty tears pourin' down your cheeks - and tryin' to turn that misery and heartache into cold, hard cash."

[iron]

Re: 'You brought nothing to the party but a six pack of regret?'

As long as you don't come home with Jack Russel on your breath you're fine. :D

[Dr. G. Freeman]

Re: 'You brought nothing to the party but a six pack of regret?'

So that isn't "hair of the dog" then ?

[Aladdin Sane]

Re: 'You brought nothing to the party but a six pack of regret?'

Only if you've been at the cricket.

[Chris King]

Re: 'You brought nothing to the party but a six pack of regret?'

"Hair of the Dog" - I never really understood if they boiled the carcass down or liquidised it...

[Muscleguy]

Re: 'You brought nothing to the party but a six pack of regret?'

It's a reference to an old folk remedy against rabies. You have to consume a hair of the dog which bit you. A sort of sympathetic magin thing. The homeopaths are into that and there is doubtless a 1000C tincture of hair of the dog available as a tonic to ease your attachment to a former loved one (dogs being very faithful). That's how the 'logic' works.

[Sam 15]

Re: 'You brought nothing to the party but a six pack of regret?'

"hair of the dog"

That's a typo.

It should read "Heir of the dog" - which is cognate with that other phrase "Son of a bitch".

[BebopWeBop]

Re: 'You brought nothing to the party but a six pack of regret?'

As the neighbours Rotweiller was told by his owner.

[Blackjack]

Re: 'You brought nothing to the party but a six pack of regret?'

Change a few words and make a singer Black and is the Blues.

[J. Cook]

Re: 'You brought nothing to the party but a six pack of regret?'

Just don't play those records backwards- Your girl/SO will come back, your truck will start working, but You'll have a zombie pet.

[Mark 85]

Re: 'You brought nothing to the party but a six pack of regret?'

David Allen Coe did the perfect country song....https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWVdrEJIiqs

[steelpillow]

Re: 'You brought nothing to the party but a six pack of regret?'

"Country Music is just sittin' on the floor drinkin' a bottle of Jack Daniels with the big, lonely, salty tears pourin' down your cheeks -"

Yes, Jack Daniels has that effect on me. Ever since I read about it on Wikipedia; "The product meets the regulatory criteria for classification as a straight bourbon, though the company disavows this classification. It markets the liquor simply as Tennessee whiskey rather than as Tennessee bourbon. As defined in the North American Free Trade Agreement, Tennessee whiskey is classified as a straight bourbon authorized to be produced in the state of Tennessee. Tennessee law (57-2-106) further requires ..."

I spent twenty years struggling to get by as a speed bump in the motor trade before I could face reality again.

[Dagg]

Re: 'You brought nothing to the party but a six pack of regret?'

"Country Music is just sittin' on the floor drinkin' a bottle of Jack Daniels with the big, lonely, salty tears pourin' down your cheeks -"

Its like when you play a country music record backwards.

* Your Truck starts

* Your dog comes back from the dead

* And your Wife / Girl friend comes back to you

[Chris King]

Re: 'You brought nothing to the party but a six pack of regret?'

Nah, it's probably some cheap cover version sung by someone called Billy-Bob - someone with six fingers on one hand who can play a mean banjo, but does so when the song really calls for a guitar.

[theblackhand]

Re: 'You brought nothing to the party but a six pack of regret?'

Meg Whitman liked a little country - maybe this is what she played at HP board meetings discussing recent acquisitions?

[Chris G]

Re: 'You brought nothing to the party but a six pack of regret?'

"Meg Whitman liked a little country"

I assume that would be somewhere like Lichtenstein or some other tax haven she would like to buy.

[macjules]

Re: 'You brought nothing to the party but a six pack of regret?'

That's just the City of London. But only if the courts do her bidding, such as finding Lynch guilty and ordering him bound and gagged and ready for extraordinary rendition.

[JulieM]

Re: 'You brought nothing to the party but a six pack of regret?'

That's even better than "She feels like a million dollars, but she looks like two hundred pounds" .....

[Anonymous Coward]

Learnings

I had expected one of the "learnings" to relate to a tainted cake and the obvious lack of institutional memory that it demonstrates.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Learnings

I have to say that's one of the Americanisms I hate with a vengeance "learnings", makes me shudder to read it, let alone here it!!!!! It just sounds like something one of my children would have said before they learnt to speak properly.

It's a constant fight getting it removed from minutes or "retrospectives"....

[Dr. Mouse]

Re: Learnings

"learnings", makes me shudder to read it, let alone here it!!!!!

Completely agree! Have an up vote!

[Alister]

Re: Learnings

makes me shudder to read it, let alone here it

Hmm...

[Nick Ryan]

Re: Learnings

I have just mis-read this as Lemmings. I'm not sure that this is entirely inappropriate and could even be more accurate.

[rskurat]

Re: Learnings

These ridiculous MBA-isms have nothing to do with communicating, and everything to do with being part of the club. I remember when they couldn't be arsed to figure out affect/effect and so substituted "impact" which was infuriating.

[doesnothingwell]

Re: Learnings

This is not something I've heard in "America" in forty or fifty years until just last week. I think its's our conservatives showing that they can spell and do maths.

[Korev]

Re: Learnings

>"learnings", makes me shudder to read it

Me too, have an upvote and a Friday pint

[Charlie Clark]

Re: Learnings

Abominable consultant babble knows no borders. Let me onboard you with the latest thinkings.

[Chris 239]

Re: Learnings

And I hear that commentards that complain about others use of English should be very, very careful about speeling and homophones in there post and also it's punctuation. ;-)

[J. Cook]

Re: Learnings

Yup- Aye kun spel rel gud- huked ahn fonix werks fer meh.

[Charlie van Becelaere]

Re: Learnings

Indeed.

I generally vet my comments with a recent copy of "How to Speak Well English."

[Stoneshop]

"How to Speak Well English."

Wet and with lots of echo?

[theblackhand]

Re: "How to Speak Well English."

Deep...very deep

[Psychomech]

Re: Learnings

That would be their, not there. ;)

[the spectacularly refined chap]

Re: Learnings

We really do need a "whoosh!" icon.

[Tom 7]

Re: Learnings

That would burn out my monitor.

[GFK1]

Re: Learnings

Sports peoples and their coaches and commentards have latched onto it thoroughly the past year or so, does my head in.

Lessons! What’s wrong with “Lessons”!? It’s what you mean, you boofheads... stop trying to sound clever.

[Tom 7]

Re: Learnings

I thought it was a USAinism.