We could harass the Russians during their own elections via VK and Facebook if they weren't always rigged in Putin's favour anyway. Alternatively, we could just do what the Americans do: Discover oil in Russia and send our freedom carriers over there to ravage them with freedom bombs and freedom troops and freedom, well, you get the idea.
British ministers are stepping up their rhetoric on cyber warfare, with £22m to be splurged on embiggening an "offensive hacking" unit as Foreign Secretary Jeremy Hunt vowed to retaliate against Russian cyber-attacks. In a speech delivered this morning at Lancaster House, the preferred venue for big foreign policy set-pieces, …
Thursday 23rd May 2019 12:39 GMT seven of five
Thursday 23rd May 2019 16:54 GMT Dave 15
Sending in the fleet...
Both rowing boats or just one at a time?
The target practice ships have no aircraft since the moronic idiots inHMG scrapped the Harriers and bought the 'it might fly one day honest guv' F35s ... not that even if they do fly we could still use them, after all the servicing needs to be done in Italy and Turkey
And then the anal accountants wouldnt allow us to have any bullets or missiles on any of the ships either as they cost money
Top that off with any sailor stupid enough to try and fight being locked up for it and I think the Russians stand a very large chance of more injury from laughing
Friday 24th May 2019 14:58 GMT user0
Re: Sending in the fleet...
Never Fear, that Hunt Jeremy is here. After his stellar tenure as Health secretary, which no one can deny is the reason the NHS is in such an ***incredible*** state now, he is here to work his magic on Defence. And be assured, that Hunt knows as much about Defence as he does about Public Healthcare. Hunt. Hunt. Huuuuuuunt!
Thursday 23rd May 2019 17:28 GMT Tail Up
Yet haven't got no clue about how to try breaking into RU elections except with propaganda, which scarcely will give a desired/planned effect. VK'n'Facer - not funny. Breaking into counting votes? Russians have next to none poll machines.
Bribe a counting commission member? Well, well, well... Perhaps, rails got cold long before on the way of a much bigger money cart already gone towards this destination point...
Sorry, Tigra 07. Some news, probably.
Thursday 23rd May 2019 17:34 GMT Anonymous Coward
From what I've seen of BK you're going to struggle to influence the Russian voters. Knitting patterns, recipes, pictures of big fish and bears wouldn't seem to offer many opportunities. I don't know, perhaps lots of posts about apples might get a few votes for Yabloka*, but it's a push.
*In Russia Apple is a political party, not a religion.
Friday 24th May 2019 06:29 GMT Kabukiwookie
This post has been deleted by its author
Thursday 23rd May 2019 12:57 GMT Fading
Thursday 23rd May 2019 13:09 GMT Pete 2
Sitting on defence
> British ministers are stepping up their rhetoric on cyber warfare, with £22m to be splurged on embiggening an "offensive hacking" unit as Foreign Secretary Jeremy Hunt vowed to retaliate against Russian cyber-attacks.
If it is anything like other "defence" procurements, they will end up with ultra-expensive computers to hack-back with .... but no keyboards.
Thursday 23rd May 2019 21:09 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: Sitting on defence
How dare you impune the hard working Procurement Dept !!!
Of course the computers would have keyboards ..... just the keys would be out of next years Budget so would not be able to be used yet !!!
P.S. The keys would be mainly Hungarian as they are available for 30% off and we have been assured that Hungarian keys are just as functional as UK English keys
[i.e. they also go up & down when pressed :) ]
For the sake of a simple lookup table that could be printed off from MS Word, we could save many pounds which will be useful to add the the collection plate to get Planes, ammunition etc on our Aircraft Carriers.
Perhaps it would be cheaper and more effective to simply translate the official statements announcing such ideas directly to Russian and posting them on various Russian language social media sites.
This would keep the Russian Cyber-units entertained and while they are rolling on the floor laughing they cannot be attacking our infrastructure ...... simples !!! :)
Thursday 23rd May 2019 13:21 GMT alain williams
Improve our security first
Hitting Russian (or where-ever) targets as revenge or deterrence against future attacks is something that will be done after damage has been done in the UK.
Far better would be to improve security at home: teach UK citizens to be aware of issues and be careful; penalise vendors that are sloppy and do not bother to look for security holes in what they sell, or quickly fix when vulnerabilities are found. This will mean admitting that 'government only encryption back doors' is a fantasy and will make it harder for UK spooks to snoop on us.
Hitting back does not work if foreign ne'er-do-wells are not detected; improving UK security helps a lot here.
It is not easy: most in the UK can't be bothered and think that they don't have to worry - if they screw up it might hurt their employer (so, what ? The still get paid at the end of the month), or if their bank account is hit they will winge until the bank refunds them.
I am far more worried about bad security in Internet of Things (eg baby-cam remote hackable) than I am Huawei exfiltrating packets to China (packets that should be encrypted anyway).
Thursday 23rd May 2019 13:25 GMT Blockchain commentard
Thursday 23rd May 2019 13:36 GMT David Shaw
I had once saved a tweet or similar from a USian 5-star general who publicly declared that he wanted to bomb hackers, fight packets with exotherms
it was vanished before I got a copy, and also , bearing in mind how the US Navy was always dominant in cyber training and cyber deployment, including recruiting all the RIF'ed sailors that could type, is there a particular phrase which renders the article quote "Forn Sec Jeremy Hunt vowed to retaliate" into the more accurate actualité of "vowed to retaliate first , before being attacked" as they've been doing that already for ages
Friday 24th May 2019 03:29 GMT ST
Thursday 23rd May 2019 14:04 GMT Anonymous Coward
Thursday 23rd May 2019 14:38 GMT ChrisElvidge
Thursday 23rd May 2019 16:44 GMT amanfromMars 1
Access Keys All Too Oft Missing in Action
Now there's a Novelty, ChrisElvidge.
And what whenever Guaranteed Enhancing Gateways by GCHQ BetaTest Future Systems Operations Scrutinising Available Input .... for AIMetaDataBase Processing into Output ..... for Greater AI Universe Picture Shows
With Virtual AI Pioneering Peer Plays. What you Give is Exactly what You Get.
IT Certainly Makes Giving Everything Interesting :-)
Be aware though, 'tis Natural Spooky Terrain for All Intel and Any Info that Effectively Leads Effortlessly Anywhere and Everywhere.
One of those Holy Grail type tasks to ensure will always endure when Future AIDirections are Much More Heavenly than Hellish.
Thursday 23rd May 2019 17:30 GMT Anonymous Coward
Friday 24th May 2019 14:31 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: Access Keys All Too Oft Missing in Action
"How do you decide which words to capitalise? Genuinely curious."
It is part of the 'Martian code' ....... the capitals denote when to move the next 'rotor' to the next character in the sequence.
The rest you will have to work out yourself !!! :)
P.S. You do 'know' the Martian Alphabet (or more correctly its Martian to English Transliteration), otherwise it will be a bit difficult !!!
Hope that helps ;) :)
Saturday 25th May 2019 03:37 GMT Anonymous Coward
The bad guys will be using their own cipher BEFORE the message enters the interweb. Some famous cipher messages remain secret after more than 100 years (c.f. Beale Papers). Scrutinise away!!
Thursday 23rd May 2019 14:50 GMT Will Godfrey
Thursday 23rd May 2019 15:13 GMT Matthew Anderson
All sounds like a load of posturing to me. Why would you publicly announce this if not just part of a PR campaign? When I was younger I had this delusional respect for these people, now they just seem like kids playing at war but in control of our weapons systems and national security. I take it tapping submarine cables and hoovering up all the data doesn't count as hacking then? As if we are completely innocent...
Thursday 23rd May 2019 15:34 GMT amanfromMars 1
cc MOD [by Registered Post]
"Cyber enemies think they can act with impunity. We must show them they can't. That we are ready to respond at a time and place of our choosing in any domain, not just the virtual world." ..... from Penny Mordaunt's prepared speech
More than just a few who know how they can act so, would be wondering what's holding up the knock at the door and the ask to server what they can with impunity, and covered by a granting of rock solid immunities/memoranda of absolute understanding for future authorised programs/missions/excursions/call them what you will.
I have no idea what Foreign Secretary Jeremy Hunt thinks he is able to do .... except bluster, of course. He's always been reliably full of that.
It is a both a strategic and tactical blunder of titanic proportions to consider uncertain fight rather than creative engagement with clearly worrying forces and new sources of novel conflict. Such exercises Madness and Mayhem in the Changing Fields of CHAOS and Catastrophe and that is an Insane Option to Consider and Pimp and Pump as necessarily vital, whenever it is deadly.
Thursday 23rd May 2019 16:49 GMT Dave 15
I would rather hear
How we are going to tell the UN very impolitely to take its recent Chagos Islands vote
We PAID for the islands now we are told to give it back... its like going into Tesco, paying for a loaf of bread and the copper outside saying you have to put it bback on the shelf
Stuff them frankly, withdraw foreign aid from every country that voted in favour of this, ban all imports from them as well.
Thursday 23rd May 2019 17:26 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: I would rather hear
Who did we pay precisely? Oh, we basically paid ourselves after we had taken the islands as part of the booty of the Napoleonic wars. That is to say, we paid £3 million compensation to the British colony of Mauritius.
Eventually when Mauritius became independent and kicked up stink, we generously gave them a whole £650 000.
We treated the islanders as merely an administrative inconvenience in the way of not having any pesky natives near a US base.
So, rather unlike your example, it's like us going and stealing a Tescos. Then we give it to Morrisons, which we own. Then later on we give Morrisons some money to take it back. Then we sell off Morrisons. Then we say "Hey, we don't want all the stock in this Tescos, you can have it." And they ask for a restocking fee.
But we still stole the Tescos in the first place.
Thursday 23rd May 2019 22:17 GMT Cederic
Re: I would rather hear
Well who did the islanders steal the island from? They didn't evolve there, they were invaders too.
I mean, it's all history.
Anyway, what's Mauritius' claim on these islands in the first place? They're 2000km away. By that measure Madagascar and the Seychelles are also part of Mauritius.
Thursday 23rd May 2019 22:45 GMT Anonymous Coward
Unfortunately with China opening new military bases across the Indian Ocean territory, I'd say the chances of the base at Diego Garcia being relinquished are receeding.
@Cederic, I don't think it's an indigenous rights claim, just the fact that people were living there, who were forced to leave, without being directly compensated.
Thursday 23rd May 2019 17:30 GMT Anonymous Coward
In the West, people who are really good with the more complicated aspects of computing can expect much better paid jobs than the security services can offer.
In the RF, there are an awful lot of those people (pro rata to a population of 140 million) who cannot get well paid jobs and whose industries are sanctioned against exporting. Their best chance is a hacking job with an oligarch or the Kremlin.
Spot the teensy problem. Are you going to start paying "cyber warriors" £100k and up?
Thursday 23rd May 2019 19:48 GMT amanfromMars 1
Re: Slight problem and paying "cyber warriors" £100k and up? ..... Voyna i Mor
Veteran cyber warriors need only a few seconds to recognise a worthy newbie, and a worthy newbie quickly realises who and/or what be veteran cyber warriors.
All the real action and hot flash cash money is in the granting of funds to programs believed to be able to deliver the almighty advantageous and overwhelming. That has in the past, and most recently too, been the executive preserve and exclusive reserve of both public and private and pirate covert and clandestine operations. ESPecial Black Ops Territory.
There whatever you want to aid delivery of agreed goods is freely provided thus guaranteeing the continuing supply of prime goods until no longer needed, or provided and. bettered with similar generous payment terms by A.N.Others.
If one thinks in any way 0900 to 1700, Monday to Friday with weekends providing invaluable overtime for a weekly wage however great, one is going to be disappointing and disappointed and recognised as totally unfit for Future Greater IntelAIgent Games Purpose.
What one is Feeding are Supernatural Passions Seeding Insatiable Desires.
Thursday 23rd May 2019 19:08 GMT Anonymous Coward
Friday 24th May 2019 02:43 GMT Dr.Flay
£22 Million for adverts and meetings
As ever our politicians think that saying they will throw a load of money away will change anything useful.
We can be sure most of the money will disappear in meetings, greasing already greasy palms, and funding Capita to do another bang up job of marketing a life of happy hackers all having fun.
GCHQ already have a problem attracting newbies. The past year we have seen many tie-ins with BBC shows to show the shiny friendly face of espionage.
Ah I know ! They are going to lure IT students with promises of wealth !
Being so brass-necked about hacking back at the drop of a hat, is a marvellous way to attract exactly that situation.
Well done you prize prat, the challenge is now issued. I hope our best bods are on the case.