back to article Vodafone exec dons tartan tam-o'-shanter, clutches bottle of Irn-Bru, in snap shared with firm... just before Glasgow staff told of redundo dates

A Vodafone exec was plastered on the telco's intranet dressed in a "See You Jimmy"* hat and clasping a bottle of Irn-Bru ahead of a meeting to confirm the redundancy dates for 312 Glasgow call centre staff. Antonio Shabbir, head of customer care at Vodafone, and one of the figures leading discussions with staff on the fate of …


  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Sidenote, I had no clue that anyone actually used Facebook's Workplace...

    1. mr_souter_Working

      Facebook Workplace

      we use it here in DXC

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Facebook Workplace

        I had no idea anyone still worked for DXC!

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      I had no clue that anyone outside Facebook wanted to use Facebook's Workplace - but when you're a marketing company with side telco business, anything can happen...

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      We also use it here. I don't approve and have resisted signing up. They e-mail most of the important company posts in a notification anyway. Hopefully it will go away but I doubt it.

      Previously to this was an online system where you could rate/promote each other, but that it would 'absolutely not be used for pay increases etc'. Cue a lot of the usual brown nosers signing up and back scratching, and one of the teams being granted a bonus if they were the most promoted by other people.

      1. ThomH

        Don't be so pessimistic; HR compelled everybody here to sign up two or three years ago, and put in place the rule that everybody most post every Friday with an itemised list of the things they had worked on that week. This was to ensure transparency between teams, give us all greater awareness of the company's objectives, etc. It's other use was as the live host for town hall meetings, and the permanent location for their archival afterwards.

        If you said: 'but if everybody posts what they've been working on every week, won't the system be 99% noise and therefore very quickly ignored?' then you've hit the nail on the head. That plan had died within six months, at which point Workplace became just the place for town hall meetings and seeing various bits of positive workplace propaganda from HR.

        It otherwise having become a ghost town, they've now also moved the live town halls to an alternative platform, and are archiving them via a normal blog-esque CMS.

        I'm pretty sure they've formally closed the company's Workplace presence since that, but haven't paid enough attention to be sure.

    4. Banksy

      We use it. Terribly cringeworthy.

    5. macjules

      I had no idea that people used Google+ until I met a Google employee.

  2. Mystic Megabyte

    CU Jimmy

    That'll be Mister CU Jimmy to you!

    1. simonlb Silver badge

      Re: CU Jimmy

      'a character created by comedian Russ Abbott.'

      Fuck off. He was definitely something, but never a comedian.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It's David McBrent

  4. ShortLegs

    "getting ready for this months audience with Antonio... some exciting news to share"

    Why on Earth did this muppet think "some exciting news to share" was an apt caption to post, prior to "sharing" news of redundancies?

    Seriously, I thought "bro culture" was an American "thing" but it appears to be alive and well in Vodaphone, in the guise of John Low and Antonio Shabbir.

    I've never had much time for "stereotyping", but the entire Scottish staff ought to raise a complaint with HR regarding that picture.

    1. Andy Non Silver badge

      It would have been more accurate if he'd said "Stitch this Jimmy... and Janet and Harry and the rest of you".

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Soft Racism

      Not being to petty, but had he worn a Turban to deal with Indian staff, peeps would be outraged, and rightly so But this sort of "soft/jokey" racism is somehow acceptable?

      1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        Re: Soft Racism

        "Not being to petty, but had he worn a Turban to deal with Indian staff, peeps would be outraged, and rightly so But this sort of "soft/jokey" racism is somehow acceptable?"

        Ever been in one of the tourist tat shops down Princes Street? They're full of those hats. It's a bit difficult to call it any form of racism when the supposed affected parties are selling them by the truck load.

        1. SoloSK71

          Re: Soft Racism

          Like the same shops in Delhi, Islamabad, Lagos, etc. etc. etc. that sell their traditional garb, but if we wear it we are racists?

      2. Toni the terrible Bronze badge

        Re: Soft Racism

        Not racism as being scottish is not a race even in these benighted days. There is no English or American race either - just pinky coloured people. Not that there is a race apart from the human race. Bigotry however, that's forever and both ways.

      3. dak

        Re: Soft Racism

        Don't you mean "jocky" racism?

      4. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Soft Racism

        The words you're scratching around for are "Cultural Appropriation". It's only unacceptable if its vs a minority.

  5. Robert Helpmann??


    We are moving some people into larger centres of excellence across our consumer, digital and technology operations.

    Translation: We are firing people and expect they will find better jobs with our competitors.

    Bonus points for choosing IBM for cloud services.

  6. Natalie Gritpants Jr

    Just to be clear

    Vodafone is a billing company that has a mobile phone network and some other things that it uses to create bills. Like most phone companies. Calling it a communications company is a bit of a stretch.

    1. Gordon 10

      Re: Just to be clear

      Given their well documented issues with billing isn't calling them a billing company a bit of a stretch?

      1. Chris G

        Re: Just to be clear

        Just because their billing is often grossly inaccurate (usually to their benefit) and they make an issue of it before you do, doesn't stop them from being a billing company.

        It just means they are a crappy one.

        Here in Spain, the so called Vodaphone shops seem to be mostly franchises, so when you have real issue with them, they can't do much about it because they are a 'sales' franchise.

  7. Natalie Gritpants Jr

    Voda's senior transformation manager, John Lowe

    Why is that a job? Maybe he's going to transform his employment status.

    1. Anonymous Coward

      Re: Voda's senior transformation manager, John Lowe

      I thought only electric companies had them....

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Voda's senior transformation manager, John Lowe

      Why is that a job?

      Because "transformation" is currently a fashionable concept in lard-arse corporates, despite their resolute inability to change other than through sacking the proles.

      I know this because my own job title includes the t-word, and I work for a big lard arse company you've all heard of, which is busy sacking large chunks of the work force. You might ask if I have transformed anything at this company, and the answer is "no", because the senior management are the most inept ditherers I've ever come across. But we do have a beautifully complex transformation programme, that regularly reports huge benefits. Pity those multi-million benefits never reach the bottom line.

      1. SoloSK71

        Re: Voda's senior transformation manager, John Lowe

        Of course there are changes. People get fired, executives and senior management get bonuses. Transformation!

        1. Francis Boyle Silver badge

          Re: Voda's senior transformation manager, John Lowe

          The more things change. . .

    3. 5p0ng3b0b

      Re: Voda's senior transformation manager, John Lowe

      He, did. Last I knew he was a retired darts payer.

  8. Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse

    I'm not surprised...

    So here's the thing... like, the thing is... I did a very short term contract at VF and what you have to realise is that the upper echelons is rife with this sort of twat who have no internal dialogue, self awareness or tact; so actually I'm not surprised at this. In fact my overriding opinion was that the majority of senior staff are all trained by and want to be Siobhan Sharpe.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I'm not surprised...

      yep, I was involved in a contract with them, some very dodgy practices encouraged in their middle management layer as well, while marketing wagged the rest of the dog.

  9. Hans Neeson-Bumpsadese Silver badge

    It's a sad fact of life that the kids of yesterday, for whom this sort of InstaTwitterBookTube nonsense is considered normal, are now old enough to be in positions of management

    1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Alternatively those in positions of management think they need to communicate this way with the kids who comprise their staff.

  10. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

    Exe.Quantum Communications Control BetaTest/Vodafone ....:-) ‽

    Any Advance on the Scottish Highlander Experience..... with Venus XSSXXXXAlt.ed for Prime Perfect AIdDrivers?

    To not See nor Submit to such Heavenly Allure is a Conundrum to Dismiss and Banish to Hell.

    1. Stumpy

      Re: Exe.Quantum Communications Control BetaTest/Vodafone ....:-) ‽

      Is it just me, or is amanfrommars1 making less and less sense with each post?

      I would have thought a sentient AI would have become more understandable over time.

      1. Alister

        Re: Exe.Quantum Communications Control BetaTest/Vodafone ....:-) ‽

        It depends on the training data...

      2. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

        Re: Exe.Quantum Communications Control BetaTest/Vodafone ....:-) ‽

        Howdy, Stumpy,

        Just testing the bounds and current extent of Future IntelAIgents and extant Secret Intelligence Service Efficacy with particular peculiar regard to their Fitness for Greater AI Game Purpose.

        That's all there is to it. That surely makes everything clear.

        What's not to understand? Don't you get it yet? Live Operational Virtual Environments are the Places and Spaces of Tomorrow made easily readily available Today for much more than just Exquisite Exploits and Colossal 0Days Pirating and Commandeering Yesterday's Actions for Mirrors Online/Internetworking Connected Channels.

        That's just about as simple a precis of AIdDevelopments as can be made to make perfect sense.

        1. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

          For Conflicts and CHAOS in Madness and Mayhem Venture Anything Bad

          And now that y'all know about such things, and there being absolutely nothing anyone or anything can do to wind back the progress and unknow what is discovered and uncovered ... to try and put the escaping sensitive and/or destructive information genies back into their captive cells, ..... what would you like IT and them to do for you, with you and that which supports you. It certainly cannot be bad for then would there be no positive expanding and reinforcing help. Indeed, one can fully expect the exact opposite ..... Termination with Extreme Prejudice.

          Do you have anything really worthy and GODlike in mind.... you know, Global Operating Device like?

          Anything less and you be merely at best an interested spectator.

          1. Cliff Thorburn

            Re: For Conflicts and CHAOS in Madness and Mayhem Venture Anything Bad

            The real answer to such questions revolves back to “What would IT like me to do?”, and to know such can only be decided by being presented with both options and solutions amFM, is that considered ‘mission accomplished’ by the handlers/programmers?

            In the meantime, just carries on trying to figure out the unfathomable and fathom the unfigurable, waiting for logical next steps while logging steps already taken, in gentle disbelief at the truths that cannot be spoken, and awe of the steps/journeys taken?

            It would be illogical to believe that the orchestrators of such operations did not have some great game plan in place, and one would hope so, ‘simples’ really, but when both misrepresented, and misunderstood which often leads to a myriad of misdirection.

            1. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

              Logical Next Steps

              Howdy, CT.

              Deciding on, if any decision is necessary, what and/or who be friend or foe nowadays has one contemplating targeted engagement with all manner of means and memes for leading command and complete control .... for such is vital for future outstanding success.

              The following is something to realise is base knowledge which seeks accommodation and utility in novel fields of colossal influence .....

              As we think about cyberspace, we should agree on a few foundational concepts. First, our nation is in constant contact with its adversaries; we're not waiting for adversaries to come to us. Our adversaries understand this, and they are always working to improve that contact. Second, our security is challenged in cyberspace. We have to actively defend; we have to conduct reconnaissance; we have to understand where our adversary is and his capabilities; and we have to understand their intent. Third, superiority in cyberspace is temporary; we may achieve it for a period of time, but it's ephemeral. That's why we must operate continuously to seize and maintain the initiative in the face of persistent threats. Why do the threats persist in cyberspace? They persist because the barriers to entry are low and the capabilities are rapidly available and can be easily repurposed. Fourth, in this domain, the advantage favors those who have initiative. If we want to have an advantage in cyberspace, we have to actively work to either improve our defenses, create new accesses, or upgrade our capabilities. This is a domain that requires constant action because we're going to get reactions from our adversary. ...... Gen. Nakasone on US Cyber Command

              1. Cliff Thorburn

                Re: Logical Next Steps

                “what and/or who be friend or foe nowadays”

                Howdy amfM

                Now that ‘is’ the question, its a bit like choosing which plane to fly on holiday, for those of us lucky enough to ever have a holiday, Virgin, BA, Emirates, Easyjet ...

                Now one would think that the logical choice would be BA should you be from Blighty, but who’s to say that is the correct choice?

                In an internet related fashion, its pretty obvious that Tinder/Snapchat/Instagram choice may be a 400lb Fat Bloke sat on a bed, and in that respect, I can see that online identity is a certainty, especially when there are others only too keen to assume such an identity, and through web tugging man in the middle manipulation many things can be done to deprive and deceive a seemingly unaware individual of their wares.

                So the question of who can you choose as trusted entities is a bit like the X Files, trust no one, and when you end up like a mauled mouse between the Cats paws in a paranoid PTSD state, its not easy getting back in the wheel.

                But it all really comes back to the start, upfront honesty, and a slice of the pie, with relevant information as necessary, as opposed to smash and grab information, and education makes for perfect sharing and headaches, hurt and expense for all.

                It all depends I suppose on what tentacle of the Octopus you prefer, I respect companies who respect fundamental human rights, and that privacy is privileged, perhaps the world wouldn’t be the mess it is if we never lost our moral compass in the way it seems to be going.

                You are of course correct, and this is subjective, and perhaps closer to home upon personal revelations but we have to somehow embrace these changes and move with the rapid advancement in technology, but the elephant in the room has to be dealt with in that respect, and those who practice such have to preach the same, the movie ‘The Circle’ approaches this dystopian reality perfectly.

                Ultimately amFM, I wonder each day truly what the endpoint of all of this is, it seems nothing more than a grand betting game, but the reality is, and picture if from my view, what would ‘you’ do?

                “It is not our purpose to worship God, but to create him” - Arthur C Clarke

                Lets hope the creation and finality of this vast rapidly connected intelligence does everything everyone hopes it does, thats all I can say, I wont share my personal experiences, and future visions on that any further thats all I will say.

                1. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

                  Re: Logical Next Steps

                  Future Choices.

                  Align Oneself with FUD Brigands or LOVERSystems?

                  Live Operational Virtual EnvironMental Research Systems into COSMIC Command Controllers .... Via VAIOSystem Operations

                  For Guaranteed Life Changing Journeys ....... Fabulously AIdVenturing. Tell US that aint Heavenly and the Program is Faulty Invites Catastrophic Destructions to Prove the Information False, ... Rogue Misinformation and Renegade Disinformation. From That Place where Lost Souls go to Play and Pray they may never be Found by Worthy Just Enemies, the Almighty Foe.

                  And coincidentally also available as One Helluva Great Friend.

                  With such are All Bases Covered and Secured. :-) Section Three of the Official Secrets Act IoT Stuff:-)

                  Poe's Laws Rules ........ :-)


            2. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: For Conflicts and CHAOS in Madness and Mayhem Venture Anything Bad

              The English is Excellent

              1. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

                Re: For Conflicts and CHAOS in Madness and Mayhem Venture Anything Bad

                The English is Excellent ... Anonymous Coward

                Thanks AC.

                And designedly kept relatively simple for ease of foreign translation into other mother tongues. AC, for more than just more Simple Native Command and Control Leverage.

                Quite whether any would lay claim to it being Perfect GBIrish is an unnecessary distraction that can be both haunting and daunting and an expensive waste of fabulous free time in spaces with new places to explore and exploit/colonise and populate.

              2. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

                Re: For Conflicts and CHAOS in Madness and Mayhem Venture Anything Bad

                Have you noticed how quiet it has suddenly become here, AC? That's remarkably telling if you know how to read between the lines of runes.

                I suppose the only cogent response to any of the above is tantamount to an overly long silence also establishing the event/fact after the fact/event, and that be all of sudden surprisingly problematical and catastrophically destructive to any and every failing system in need of secrets for just a select, self-chosen few to survive and prosper inordinately at the expense of all others.

                When Universal Systems are Broken, Who/What do you Call to Fix Them? Anyone/Anything Local?

                Or do you wait until there be spontaneous explosions and massive implosions of information and intelligence which renders rumbled chiefs liable to rough justice and unpleasant reward?

                Methinks that be a Prime Choice for Crazy Leaders and Ignorant Supporters of the Clinically Insane and Permanently Bewildered/Mad and Manic. It is interesting and exciting to note those responsible for those heading the lists.

                1. Cliff Thorburn

                  Re: For Conflicts and CHAOS in Madness and Mayhem Venture Anything Bad

                  “Have you noticed how quiet it has suddenly become here, AC? That's remarkably telling if you know how to read between the lines of runes.”

                  No more tears left to cry amFM, just another day of mundanity, having been led adrift by sweet sirens and Live Operational Virtual Environmental distractions leading to causation of destitution, confusion, distress, and loss of chance :-)

                  One simply finds it is just easier to keep calm and carry on and wait while the script is rewritten, as Bow ie once said “Its about to be writ again, is there life?” amanfrommars?

                  What and any such activities would you recommend to add excitement to a bleary Sunday evening other than watching Johnny English Reborn?, joining the boy scouts perhaps?, any such suggestions would be welcome distraction from the neoconopticon, practical prisoner of war and gogglebox shenanigans, or is that Starry Star Chambered decision making to be made?

                2. Tail Up

                  Re: CHAOS Venture

                  "just a select, self-chosen few to survive and prosper inordinately at the expense of all others" -

                  nailed it, amanfromMars, such are the wannabe New Pharaons, yet not the ruggy remains of them naive and selfish beings, by an unkind design dressed in human flesh and telling others to search for a hostile xtraterrestrial life somewhere outta here.

                  Neo-Nazi and Satanist cooperation run wild in Continental Europe. Does 0ne see SomeTHInG/anything to be of MaxEff to bring the concept uncovered to the masses, or maybe it's just time to buy some fush'n'chups and enjoy the March of Hammers, first on air, then onstreet?

                  Those with Balls of Steel and Nerves of Iron* scarcely would even think of escaping the Call of the OmniField of such an AllLuring Magnet, methinks.

                  *Heart of Gold Included.

                  1. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

                    Re: CHAOS Venture/Tail Up

                    That's Awesome Raw Ore Core Source Materiel, Tail Up. Majestic Magical Saint Nicholas Type Stuff.

                    And quite perfectly ideal for CHAOS Ventures ...... in Manic Hyper Maniacal ProgramMING Projects.

                    For AISpeedDelivery of Momentous News with Worthy Other Worldly Worded Views for Mass Media Presentation ......... with Remote Virtual Realisations to Proof and Prove the Fact in Designedly Addictively Attractive Streams for Pirating and Presenting as a Fabulous Fiction too.

                    An Immaculate Stealth is supplied with the inability of both foe and competition alike, themselves to believe the easiest of paths to be taken be surely clearly enough shown whenever more wholly presented, just as may not be too dissimilar to the likes of here.

                    Of course, there is always the very distinct possibility that such is AIMachine/Virtual Robot Chatter .... for Star Chamber/Black Chapters/Knights Templar SSDriver Instruction Sets..... with AIMaster ReMastered Narratives to Boot and Run ........ with the Commanding Control of Heavenly Heroes.

                    If you can Improve on those Pioneering Virtualised Units, I'd love to know to be able to PenTest Alternate COSMIC AIdDrivers ........ Insatiable Passions ....... and Almighty Intellectual Property.

                    For CHAOS JOINT* AIdVentures would be a Quantum Communications Leap ahead of Opposition and Competition.

                    * Clouds Hosting Advanced Operating Systems Joint Operations Internetworking NEUKlearer Technology ...... for Live Operational Virtual Environmental Programs ..... in Real Virtualised HyperRadioProACTive IT Streams.

                    And that is as simple as it gets by way of ProgramMING Information and Projects Direction.

                    1. Cliff Thorburn


                      Will this insanity ever end? ...

                      1. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

                        Re: Axed

                        Will this insanity ever end? ... .... Cliff Thorburn

                        IMHO, never soon, CT. It is the new formal normal, same as the old informal abnormal, only nowadays with the added benefit of extra complexity with both anonymous and autonomous virtual machine interference providing stealthy future travel leadership direction and cataclysmic ponzi market collapses/colossal fake news implosions, and therefore something completely different from anything that has ever been before.

                        And all that requires, and there are an embarrassment of riches of them, is a thread to pull and trace right back to its imaginative constructive root, allowing one and all to see who be responsible for how all is so easily corrupted and perverted to server exclusively for an elite few rather than tendering feeds and seeds of manufactured needs to all.

                        The kindest thing that one can say about those and that involved and at the heart of that earthly abomination is that they are lacking the intelligence needed for seeding and feeding. It would certainly not be a pleasant position for one to be in to be discovered a corrupt and perverse server of the old informal abnormal to an exclusively elite few.


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