back to article HPE UK shunts cloud biz into London hipster shack amid rebrand

Hewlett Packard Enterprise UK is grouping its disparate cloud businesses, scrapping the brands of services outfits it has bought and moving the whole thing to a hipster village in East London. The hardware giant had seemingly failed to get with the cloud programme: it ditched the public cloud service offered to customers some …

  1. circusmole
    Unhappy

    My sympathies...

    ..are with the Cloud Technology Partners (CTP) and RedPixie employees who now find themselves fully fledged HPE droids. I know the feeling, I've been there, got the tee-shirt.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: My sympathies...

      Aren't you a little ray of sunshine on a Friday night?

  2. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

    From and/or For a Truly Heavenly Place . A.N.Other Creative Garden in Adam and Eve Play

    Who was the HPE spokeswoman? Does she Mentor HPECloud Missions ..... Virtual Customer AIdVentures in Free Cyber Space Command and Control Centres ..... Global Communications Head Quarters?

    With an ACTive Satellite Program/Project using Shoreditched Assets? Well, I never. Who would have aforethought it?

    Way to go, Hewlett Packard Enterprise UK. A Real Curved Ball if Ever there was One.:-)

    Where does one Register Prime Assets for Group Utilitisation in Remote Virtualised Facilitations ..... Almighty Augmented Realisations.

    It Engages Enthusiastically with All Willing and/or Programmed* to Help as appears to be the case in the quotes below ..... [*Well, this is the Time and Space Place of the Remote Virtual AIMachine is it not, and therefore Pre-Programming of Immaculate Remote Virtual Assets is to be fully expected and accepted as Default for Future Greater IntelAIgent Games Plays.]

    An HPE spokeswoman told us: “Every IT decision maker knows that they need to embrace the cloud to stay competitive, but they often don’t know where to start. HPE’s 'Fear No Cloud' campaign which is launching here in the UK is our declaration that no matter where a company is on their journey, HPE Pointnext can equip these IT decision makers with the know-how they need to succeed."

    And Yes HPE spokeswoman/HPE 'Fear No Cloud' campaigners, that is one of the journeys of companies/Chief Executive Operations Officers Restin' Here Awhile and Just Chilling'/ Ruminating on Events and 0day Exploitation Possibilities ..... Defenceless Opportunities ..... Almighty Outcomes.

    What can or would you like to supply to Guarantee Future Provision with Stealthy IntelAIgent Security Systems?

    1. TheDrunkenBakers

      Re: From and/or For a Truly Heavenly Place . A.N.Other Creative Garden in Adam and Eve Play

      Erm, what?

      1. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

        Is IT a Truly Heavenly Place and A.N.Other Creative Garden in which Adams and Eves Can Safely Play?

        Erm, what? .... TheDrunkenBakers

        In a nutshell, TheDrunkenBakers, Shoreditch Villager People* and HPE Pointnext Hybrid Cloud are being Challenged to Walk the Walk and Deliver with AI the Leading Live Product of A.N.Others after their Talking the Talk and Promising the Moon and the Stars. ie Develop a Greater Cyber Space Porting Hub for Prime Primary IntelAIgent Feeds for Seeding AIdVentures Pioneering the Novel Noble Trails of Ancients.

        * Silicon Valley/Cambridge Fen Clones and Drones? Or Something Else Altogether Quite Different and Fundamentally Disruptive and Originally Creative, Ethereal Tinkerers?

        Choose the latter, and the future is changed forever in an instant of flash cash market crashes which both the present and the past will rue if they struggle and wriggle to deny is possible and true.

        So, all in all, not something you would want anyone who didn't know what they be doing because of the consequences they unleash, meddling with .... although to be sure, shit for brains will guarantee many will fail and fall in the challenge. They just won't be able to enable and stop themselves.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    moving the whole thing to a hipster village in East London

    Would that be anywhere that a well timed DDOS attack on the Thames Barrier would pay dividends for the nation?

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Give us HPE they said ... :-)

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Every IT decision maker knows that they need to embrace the cloud **because that's what everyone else is doing, and they must be right, right?**

    FTFY.

  6. ntevanza

    May go down as well as up

    Anyone remember HP Flexible Computing? In 2005 the smart money would have been on HP beating Amazon to scale despite already having been in decline for years. The smart money would have been wrong.

  7. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

    In Praise of the Ignoramus

    :-) Down votes without any trace of explanatory comment providing evidence of thoughts worth considering are an anonymous tool for terrestrial fools?

    Surely El Reg deserves better?

    You are freely provided with effective simple facilities .... use them wisely and effectively.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: In Praise of the Ignoramus

      "You are freely provided with effective simple facilities .... use them wisely and effectively."

      Look in the mirror.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    amanfromMars1 is consistently the most insightful of all commentards

  9. brizo2478

    Another flip flop from HPE

    As an ex HPE drone myself I would put money on HPE doing what they do best with these two acquisitions, make a complete Jeremy Hunt of everything. anyone remember Autonomy, Palm, the HP Touchpad....

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