back to article UK Minister of Fun Matt Hancock opens London infosec upstart creche

Matt Hancock, the only UK government minister to have his own social networking app, opened a £13m London infosec creche this morning. The Minister of Fun cut the ribbon on the London Office for Rapid Cybersecurity Advancement, which styles itself LORCA – though any connection with the early 20th century Spanish poet and …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Swansea 0 London 13 mil

    Guess it's just what the UK needs. Another bung to London but sod all for other parts. As if an infosec hub needed to be in London and not one of the other areas that could actually do with investment. Balanced economy my arse.

    1. LadyK

      Re: Swansea 0 London 13 mil

      Yep we're all in it together ....unless you happen to be outside of the M25 border fence

    2. ArrZarr
      Joke

      Re: Swansea 0 London 13 mil

      Don't forget the £55Bn being spent on getting brummies to London faster. That's money almost as well spent as when I dropped a grand on a Google Glass.

    3. Korev Silver badge
      Black Helicopters

      Re: Swansea 0 London 13 mil

      I'd have thought that near Cheltenham would be better for obvious reasons -->

    4. Mike Richards Silver badge

      Re: Swansea 0 London 13 mil

      Absolutely - it's not like there are plenty of places outside of London with top-notch universities teaching cybersecurity or with established security businesses that could help mentor startups.

      Give it six months and this place will host one company spurting 'innovative' cybersecurity-related spam advertising on social media and the government will trumpet it as a success nearly as dizzying as Silicon Roundabout.

    5. maffski

      Re: Swansea 0 London 13 mil

      Rather than arguing about it's location it would be better if they just didn't p**s 13 million quid of our money up the wall.

      We managed to get a senior Lloyds Bank suit to fly in from the US to hear us pitch our startup idea from a crummy little office in the north of england. It didn't require a 'tech creche' or tax payers money.

      (And no, we didn't get any investment. The idea was credible... ...we weren't)

    6. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Swansea 0 London 13 mil

      90% of us UK InfoSec professionals work in London. It would be very strange to think of a "hub" being anywhere else,

  2. Aladdin Sane

    Lorca

    Is from the mirror universe.

    1. ArrZarr
      Joke

      Re: Lorca

      I was thinking of the horrible traitor aspect of Lorca, but maybe in the mirror universe government projects actually succeed.

  3. Jellied Eel Silver badge

    I'm suprised..

    In addition, 70 per cent of those people said their firms hadn't bought "a cyber security solution from a startup company or SME in the last two years", something that appeared to surprise or worry the authors of LORCA's statement.

    I'd be more worried if someone had bought a solution from a start-up or SME. Especially any large business. Simply because I'd want to be certain the solution worked, and the supplier had a decent track record in providing these solutions.. And more importantly, had the scale to support it properly, and wasn't likely to go titsup.com before the contract needed renewal. But that's the challenge startups face, ie competing with the likes of Checkpoint, Cisco etc.

    Then again, I did buy into nCipher, mainly because I drank with it's founders and they knew crypto. :)

    1. Dabooka Silver badge

      Re: I'm suprised..

      Not just me then.

      I mean, I appreciate I'm well removed from all of this stuff so for all I know the startups are the ones with all the innovation and ideas, but it does appear (from a casual observer's perspective at least) to be an area where a bit of a track recorded is desirable.

      Happy to be put back on track with this if I'm wrong!

  4. disgruntled yank Silver badge

    A bit late

    Isn't the solstice the traditional time for dancing around a bonfire of burning cash?

  5. SVV

    So, he's proudly telling the world

    that 70% of British SMEs surveyed don't have a strategy for cyber attacks and haven't bought any security solutions? Wise move there, won't attract the attention of any baddes whatsoever.

    I wonder how many of the 30% who responded in the positive actually just meant that they'd got the bloke who occaisonally does some computery stuff for them to install anti-virus software? Rather a long way from "innovative AI startup tech" in reality. Had to throw AI in there didn't he, whether that's a relevant thing at all or not in a solid security solution. I forsee good proposals being rejected for not being buzzwordy attention grabbing enough to brag about in the press.

    Still, it's another nice little trendy vanity projet so that he can feel he's doing something worthwhile. Anything that keeps him from having to get his hands dirty with actually trying to stop the endless hyper-expensive screw ups with government IT projects must feel like sheer modern technobliss.

  6. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

    Knock, Knock, Mr Hancock! What have You Got to Offer to Beat and/or Compete ......

    ...against Markets Leaders or the Opposition?

    Its IT and AI Command and Control of Upcoming Event Revelations needs to be Much Better than merely Just Good and Accommodating. Anything Less than Outstanding and Frightening is not going to cut it anymore, is it? Knowing now what needs to be known to flash crash and crush markets and failing programs/failed projects, how would you Like to Proceed? As a Passenger and Patient or Virtual Pioneer Slaying Dragons/Tearing Down Imaginary Prison Walls and Glass Ceilings ....... Out of This World Future Options ... for Futures SMARTR Currency Exchanges

  7. GIRZiM

    Minister of Fun!?

    What next, a Ministry of Love?

    We live in dark times.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Minister of Fun!?

      > We live in dark times.

      So break out the black lights and get on with it?

      1. GIRZiM

        Re: So break out the black lights and get on with it

        Heh.

        If only you knew what I do when I'm not here.

        1. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

          Re: So break out the black lights and get on with it

          Anything new and interesting, GIRZiM?

          Subversive and disappointing is so old school and not up to controlling these new cyberspaces and virtual places which have so many extant current systems administrations with their knickers all in a twist. (1300)

          1. GIRZiM

            Re: Anything new and interesting, GIRZiM?

            Yes and no.

            Inherently so, yes, because all refusal to play by the rules is so: no, because it's not something past generations haven't already done or that future generations won't do in their turn - on the one hand plus ça change, but on the other it is constantly evolving and, therefore, new in its own way.

            But it's decidedly fun and involves U.V. lighting - so, seldom disappointing either way around.

    2. annodomini2

      Re: Minister of Fun!?

      What next, a Ministry of Love?

      That's the Home Office.

      1. GIRZiM

        Re: That's the Home Office

        You've noticed that too, eh?

  8. kuiash

    Mr Hancock

    A few million of that would make a huge difference to your constituents. Especially in Haverhill where the Haverhill Science/Tech park is just a bare field and has been for 5 years or so.

    Sitting out in the countryside I'm lucky to get 1 mb/s.

    *sheesh*

  9. Mike 137 Silver badge

    When, Oh When??

    When will everyone at last stop confusing information with IT? Information security is not primarily a technology issue - it's about business process management. IT security is just a small part of that. If you're in doubt about this, just take a moment to review the UK Information Commissioner's action reports. A very high percentage of personal data breaches have nothing at all to do with IT - they typically range from sending a steel filing cabinet full of medical records to a scrap merchant to a barrister leaving their client's file on the bar in a pub, or a member of Parliament dumping constituents' letters in a waste bin in a park. Even a stolen laptop is not primarily a technological security issue - what matters is what information is stored on it.

    Until the quality of business process management (whether related to IT or not) is taken seriously, no amount of technology will 'solve' the parlous state of information security, and this was recognised by the Article 29 Working Committee that created GDPR. However, in my experience the majority of businesses have handed GDPR compliance either to the IT department or their lawyers to create a documentation set for 'nominal compliance', rather than reviewing what they actually do with the relevant information in the course of day to day business. Which of course means that in reality they're not compliant at all.

    You ultimately get the security you work for, but it's not a good starting point to mis-describe the problem you're trying to fix. IT security is technological. Information security is much wider and includes business process management, and it's still anybody's guess what the blazes 'cyber security' is.

    1. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

      Re: When, Oh When??

      and it's still anybody's guess what the blazes 'cyber security' is. .... Mike 137

      It is that which pretends to protect Command and Control Systems against Top Secret IntelAIgent State MetaData Exfiltration for Subsequent Exploitation and Exchange in All Manner of Vested Interest Markets/Souks/Bazaars. (1317)

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: When, Oh When??

        > It is that which pretends to protect Command and Control Systems against ...

        You forgot to pass that through your filter for turning it into gibberish. The random caps filter worked though.

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