back to article Tech firms, come to Blighty! Everything is brill! Brexit schmexit, Galileo schmalileo

The UK government has given itself a reassuring cuddle this week, asserting that – even if high-profile projects such as Galileo march overseas – international tech firms still love Blighty. UK Prime Minister Theresa May held a roundtable event yesterday to showcase Britain as the best place in the world to run a tech company …

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  1. Ralph the Wonder Llama

    Hmm

    "The government has also bet big on artificial intelligence"

    Might as well, they don't display any real intelligence.

    1. Voland's right hand Silver badge

      Re: Hmm

      My dad (a professor of mathematics in the area of optimal control and differential equations) used to have a saying: "There is no need to apply artificial intelligence where natural stupidity will suffice".

      1. John Smith 19 Gold badge
        Unhappy

        "and was always seen as a beachead into the continent for US or Asian firms"

        Not for much longer.

    2. macjules Silver badge

      Re: Hmm

      Augmented Reality:

      "These are not deserted factories, formerly occupied by Mercedes, Peugeot or BMW: these are thriving technology incubators simply waiting for the occupants to arrive."

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Hmm

      you're (too) harsh. The problem is, we don't have anything unique or attractive to offer to the world that can't be had elsewhere. Other than being a tax heaven for Russians, but that has recently been (officially) declared undesirable. So, let's be the leaders of AI and hope that this AI takes mercy and makes us dispensable last, as it goes, in due course, through its own "streamlining" and "asset optimisation" process.

      1. Drat

        Re: Hmm

        "you're (too) harsh. The problem is, we don't have anything unique or attractive to offer to the world that can't be had elsewhere"

        We do seem very good at putting ourselves down

        1. Voland's right hand Silver badge

          Re: Hmm

          We do seem very good at putting ourselves down

          Even in that Brits are very far behind Slavic nations. So it is neither unique, nor best in class.

          1. Rich 11 Silver badge

            Re: Hmm

            Even in that Brits are very far behind Slavic nations.

            We must try harder!

      2. Stu Mac

        Re: Hmm

        If one ignores the Green and Pleasant being one of the best (few) places in the world worth living and a favored destination for a large part of the world (it would appear).

    4. Mike Richards

      Re: Hmm

      The MayBot isn't exactly showing the best in British intelligence. You'd get more out of a slightly racist speak-your-weight machine.

      1. Stu Mac

        Re: Hmm

        Mrs May doesn't have a racist bone in her body, I'm quite sure. Unfortunately she is also a god bothering fool.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Hmm

          >Mrs May doesn't have a racist bone in her body, I'm quite sure. Unfortunately she is also a god bothering fool.

          She certainly appears spineless, but not sure that shes had a complete bone-removal....

  2. Gordon Pryra

    Good old Alan T

    At least he wasn't mentioned as part of the reason we should allow the NHS to have all our data in some anonymised uber database which is anonymised with only a single identifiable key in a table (whatever that is, but I bet its anonymised!!)

    1. Mike Richards

      Re: Good old Alan T

      They're going to keep bringing Alan Turing into anything vaguely tech-related aren't they? Everyone knows the man was a hero and a genius, so they assume their pet projects will get some reflected glory from Turing's work. Expect any number of PPE ministerial statements along the lines of:

      Alan Turing would have loved automated car tracking.

      Alan Turing understood the importance of technology in war so he would have worked on our new megadeath 7000 hunter-killer drone project.

      Alan Turing's work made biometric ID cards possible.

      ...

      1. Cynic_999 Silver badge

        Re: Good old Alan T

        The implied message that I get is, "If you are brilliant, come and devote your life to serving the British government, who will pay you a pittance and then castrate you for your trouble."

        1. heyrick Silver badge

          Re: Good old Alan T

          "who will pay you a pittance and then castrate you for your trouble"

          And remember, big megacorps, once we're out there will be no pesky EU "rights" telling you how to treat your workforce, so feel free to skimp on protective clothing, put the entire lot on zero hour contacts, change their positions and remuneration from month to month, and to top it off, feel free to dump all the waste in any nearby river.

          Isn't Blighty marvelous?! Come, please, for the love of God come, before another high street name goes under...

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Good old Alan T

            + no need to pay any tax

        2. hplasm
          Meh

          Re: Good old Alan T

          " "If you are brilliant, come and devote your life to serving the British government, who will pay you a pittance and then castrate you for your trouble.""

          And then say how brilliantly British you were, a shining example to all, after you are dead.

  3. Dr Paul Taylor

    Brexit Schmexit

    That slogan was on EU in Brum banners in September 2016. (Credit Alan Suter I think.) When I went into the pub after the demo to "welcome" to Tories to Brum for their conference, people asked me what Schmexit meant.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Brexit Schmexit

      Dammit Janet?

      1. Trigonoceps occipitalis

        Re: Brexit Schmexit

        Slut!

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Brexit Schmexit

      people asked me what Schmexit meant.

      Schmexit means Schmexit. I thought everybody knew that.

      But rather than demonstrating against the Tories, why didn't you demonstrate against the clueless twats of the Labour party who have kept the Conservatives in government through a string of utterly dislikeable and incompetent leaders, all with weird, incoherent policies that have made the Labour party unelectable even against the dislikeable, colourless, cloth-eared, lightweights of the Conservatives?

      My sympathies are somewhere towards the right wing of the Conservative party, but I'd welcome a good, strong, electable Labour party, simply because as things stand nobody's happy, and still nobody would be happy if that bearded communist idiot were PM. The same situation applied in 2005, when a Labour party that had run out of steam and ideas was re-elected with a dead duck MP, simply because the Tories were led by the unelectable Michael Howard, a shadow cabinet largely composed of talent free nobodies, and no clear ideas or agenda. Considering the past two decades, the political mess we're in can actually be attributed more readily to the failure of opposition parties to up their game than to lacklustre governments who ideally wouldn't even be in post if the opposition were competent.

      1. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

        Re: Brexit Schmexit

        the political mess we're in can actually be attributed more readily to the failure of opposition parties to up their game

        I think that's a fair summary of politics worldwide at the moment, at least in those places where opposition parties are allowed.

      2. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

        Re: Brexit Schmexit and other Perverse Costly Abominations

        But rather than demonstrating against the Tories, why didn't you demonstrate against the clueless twats of the Labour party who have kept the Conservatives in government through a string of utterly dislikeable and incompetent leaders, ..... Ledswinger

        You could also include the self-righteous bigots of the Democratic Unionist Party leadership in that twat collective, Ledswinger, but whether clueless is appropriate whenever they are reported to have wrangled £1billion from the Conservative government for the continuing support of their ten MPs even as they are disgracefully paid from the public purse and blatantly are allowed to continue drawing their benefits cheques for work they were elected to try and do at Stormont, but which they haven't signed in for for well over a year now, is quite another matter.

        And lo and behold, one has to ask why, whenever everything is running just as smoothly as it is ever was, why on Earth does anyone think they are needed. It's all a right royal farce and tragic comedy show, is it not?

        It is hard not to imagine them all as being parasites in public office with not a titter of wit or novel intelligence to share and driver everything in a new direction between them.

        And there is a certain arrogance and profound ignorance which easily descends into certified madness to think that anyone with anything worthwhile would consider being a supportive party and party to anything such folk might be involved in.

        1. This post has been deleted by its author

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Brexit Schmexit and other Perverse Costly Abominations

          What's going on? amanfromMars1 made sense to me!

          1. Vinyl-Junkie
            WTF?

            Re: What's going on? amanfromMars1 made sense to me!

            I know - scary, isn't it!

          2. Chris G Silver badge

            Re: Brexit Schmexit and other Perverse Costly Abominations

            " What's going on? amanfromMars1 made sense to me!"

            He always makes at least as much sense as anyone in any of the parties in Parliament, sometimes much more. He doesn't seem to lie either.

            I'd vote for him if he stood for election.

            1. Mark 110
              Pint

              Re: Brexit Schmexit and other Perverse Costly Abominations

              I'd love to go for a pint with amanfrommars. Would love to know how he constructs his usual posts. They are genius.

              Lets face it we are all strangers in a strange land to some degree.

            2. heyrick Silver badge

              Re: Brexit Schmexit and other Perverse Costly Abominations

              "sometimes much more"

              I think in these post-referendum days, the verbal landscape has changed so much that amanfromMars1 is now understandable. It's all the rest of them that make no bloody sense at all...

          3. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Brexit Schmexit and other Perverse Costly Abominations

            What's going on? amanfromMars1 made sense to me!

            That is because it take a 'man from mars' to understand the absolute mess we are in and make sense of the Political Parties and their stances, while we head towards the 'BrickWall' called Brexit, at speed.

            The Tories are only concerned about the 'Party' and the Country comes somewhere near the bottom of the list of priorities. Meanwhile infighting in the Labour Party is the norm as there is obviously no reason to change the standard focus on trying to get to the top of the Greasy pole as the country has plenty of time before something important has to be done ....... if I could just remember what that was it would be such a help !!!

            The two major parties are so focused on themselves that the country can 'spin & burn' while the EU laughs at the chaos and gets to take free potshots without being noticed by any party.

            I am begining to think that the chaos is deliberate to ensure the result is such utter chaos that the people are forced to protest in the streets to force a 'new' focus on fixing the mess. This would make dropping Brexit much much easier and the subsequent protests would be lost in the other Shouting and Screaming taking place.

            1. Dalkeith

              Re: Brexit Schmexit and other Perverse Costly Abominations

              I'm beginning to doubt whether political parties can do anything deliberately - accidental cockups is generally the order of Business.

        3. TheVogon

          Re: Brexit Schmexit and other Perverse Costly Abominations

          "are allowed to continue drawing their benefits cheques for work they were elected to try and do at Stormont, but which they haven't signed in for for well over a year now"

          That's mostly the fault of the republicans though, with never going to be acceptable policies like insisting on brits having to learn a near dead and close to useless foreign language in schools. And it was the republicans that broke up the assembly in the first place.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Brexit Schmexit and other Perverse Costly Abominations

            Gaelic is hardly dead or useless in Ireland or Scotland, despite 200+ years of draconian politically-driven attempts to eliminate it. The DUP hate the whole idea of Gaelic because it is, in NI, Irish rather than British - but then the DUP version of British no longer exists anywhere else in the UK.

            Since every NI person I know has an Irish (so EU) passport as well as a British one, I personally think we'll end up with the UK/EU border in the Irish Sea.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: Brexit Schmexit and other Perverse Costly Abominations

              Since every NI person I know has an Irish (so EU) passport as well as a British one,

              You have a small & select group of acquaintences. Few of the nationalists that I know would want a British passport, and most NI brits that I know (I'm one) have little interest in having an Irish one. Last year only a little over 82,000 people in NI (out of 1.5 million) applied for an Irish passport, only a 28% increase year-on-year, so the totals with both are small. I live in an EU country & see no point in having an Irish passport as well as my UK one.

              1. Mark #255
                Boffin

                of Irish Passports

                Given that a passport is valid for 10 years, and that 82,000 applications is only a 28% increase, that means ~64,000 applications in the previous year.

                The most pessimistic assumption (that prior to that there were no applications), would mean over 9% of NI has an Irish passport. If 64,000 is assumed as a baseline, that's over 40% of NI has a non-expired Irish passport.

            2. strum

              Re: Brexit Schmexit and other Perverse Costly Abominations

              > I personally think we'll end up with the UK/EU border in the Irish Sea.

              It'll be divided between Beszel and Ul Qoma.

              1. hplasm
                Thumb Up

                Re: Brexit Schmexit and other Perverse Costly Abominations

                dreamshit is rife in the Government? Explains a lot...

            3. TheVogon

              Re: Brexit Schmexit and other Perverse Costly Abominations

              "Gaelic is hardly dead or useless in Ireland or Scotland, despite 200+ years of draconian politically-driven attempts to eliminate it"

              It is versus English. And pretty much anything else is more useful to learn even just inside the UK such as French, Spanish or German. Anyway there is nothing to stop someone choosing to learn Gaelic. The republicans wanted to force it on everyone which is never going to happen.

              1. Anonymous Coward
                Anonymous Coward

                Re: Brexit Schmexit and other Perverse Costly Abominations

                >The republicans wanted to force it on everyone which is never going to happen.

                So a bit like Welsh then? Which all kids in Wales now learn at school.

        4. Stu Mac

          Re: Brexit Schmexit and other Perverse Costly Abominations

          The DUP are a required party. Required to counter SF/IRA and keep NI the green and very pleasant land that it is. Certainly the nicest part of the YooKay to live. When the IRA go away so will the DUP.

      3. Mark Dempster

        Re: Brexit Schmexit

        >But rather than demonstrating against the Tories, why didn't you demonstrate against the clueless twats of the Labour party who have kept the Conservatives in government through a string of utterly dislikeable and incompetent leaders, all with weird, incoherent policies that have made the Labour party unelectable even against the dislikeable, colourless, cloth-eared, lightweights of the Conservatives?<

        Well firstly, I'd point out that it's the tories who are actually in control, and demonstrating aginst any other party is completely pointless. Secondly, I think you'll find that the current labour leadership is eminently likeable - and it's only those who are force-fed their opinions by media moguls who don't pay any UK tax or, indeed, reside her, that believe otherwise.

        >My sympathies are somewhere towards the right wing of the Conservative party, but I'd welcome a good, strong, electable Labour party,<

        No, what you actually want is a return to 'new labour' - the aberration created by Tony Blair that turned the party into a slightly-watered-down clone of the tories. It's not an opposition if they implement the same policies, you know! And no point voting between one or the other, either.

        The fact is, the labour party has an ambitious and fully-costed manifesto put together with the aid of nobel-prize-winning economists that offers a completely different path to the one we've been following for the last 40 years, and which has left us in the mess we're in. True opposition, in other words.

        1. phuzz Silver badge

          Re: Brexit Schmexit

          The Labour party may or may not be likeable, but they really should have managed to capitalise on the sheer incompetence the tories have been displaying for the past year or so. When you're the opposition to a party with a leader who no one likes and who doesn't really want to be there, while the rest of her cabinet fight with each other, you'd expect the opposition to make a little more headway.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Brexit Schmexit

          I think you'll find that the current labour leadership is eminently likeable

          Theresa May is probably "likeable" over a cup of tea, that doesn't make her a competent politician.

          The fact is, the labour party has an ambitious and fully-costed manifesto put together with the aid of nobel-prize-winning economists that offers a completely different path to the one we've been following for the last 40 years

          And which has failed every time we've been dumb enough to let them try.

          About the only good thing that would come out of letting hard-left Labour in would be to remind the new generation why we've always thrown them out again as soon as we could.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: And which has failed every time we've been dumb enough to let them try.

            Really? I think you've got that very wrong. Without the welfare state Thatcher wouldn't have been able to sell off the council houses, rail network and all the other infrastructure that went to start the "boom" of the eighties.

            Of course they've run out of stuff to sell now and are left trying to blame immigrants and the poor for the state we find ourselves in. Nevertheless if Labour's approach had "failed every time" the tories of the 80s wouldn't have had anything to plunder and would've been kicked out after a single term.

          2. Rich 11 Silver badge

            Re: Brexit Schmexit

            And which has failed every time we've been dumb enough to let them try.

            Although for some reason the party which most consistently gets trashed in the media for its supposed economic incompetence actually has the better record on reducing debt. It also has the better record on not lowering the social safety net to a mere two inches above the concrete.

        3. werdsmith Silver badge

          Re: Brexit Schmexit

          The fact is, the labour party has an ambitious and fully-costed manifesto put together with the aid of nobel-prize-winning economists that offers a completely different path to the one we've been following for the last 40 years

          LOL! Somebody who takes a manifesto seriously. Was this your first general election?

        4. TVU

          Re: Brexit Schmexit

          "No, what you actually want is a return to 'new labour' - the aberration created by Tony Blair that turned the party into a slightly-watered-down clone of the tories. It's not an opposition if they implement the same policies, you know! And no point voting between one or the other, either".

          I certainly don't want to see a return of the Tory-lite New Labour in any shape or form. Then again, the bumbling and inflexible grandad at the helm of the party today isn't doing Labour any favours either. The Tories are deep in the morass of Brexit and all Corbyn can do is actually assist May, Rees-Mogg and Redwood in implementing their version of Brexit with his unimaginative, dogmatic and tribal approach.

          What I want to see is a proper, competent, capable and progressive social democratic leader of Labour like they have in Labour's sister parties in Scandinavia.

      4. Rich 11 Silver badge

        Re: Brexit Schmexit

        Considering the past two decades, the political mess we're in can actually be attributed more readily to the failure of opposition parties to up their game than to lacklustre governments who ideally wouldn't even be in post if the opposition were competent.

        Yet still more* people voted for the useless idiots who got in than for the useless idiots who didn't get in.

        * Well, sort of more, given al the problems with FPTP.

      5. strum

        Re: Brexit Schmexit

        It takes a special kind of twat to blame the opposition for the gut-wrenching incompetence/maliciousness of the government.

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