back to article Could this be you? Really Offensive Security Engineer sought by Facebook

Facebook is hiring an Offensive Security Engineer, and not the sort inclined to disparage the length of your keys or your choice of encryption algorithm. "Facebook's Security team is looking for an offensive security engineer that can deliver technical leadership for our offensive security team and execute tactical, offensive …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Sorry. I'm not available due to a prior engagement

    My soon-to-be "president of the divided states of umerika" has stated he would like to be hacked so we can recover any emails or other post-worthy data sets. So, I am currently unavailable starting 1/20/17 through 1/20/21 due to the needs of our grape nation and shit. It is open fucking season over here. Hang onto your fucking hats, muggles.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Sorry. I'm not available due to a prior engagement

      "grape nation"? I thought it was "grope nation", now.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Facebook isn't looking join the dark side

    If you do it right the first time, you don't need to back and do it again.

  3. J. R. Hartley

    I'll do it

    I'm an absolute cunt

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I'll do it

      "I'm an absolute cunt"

      That's necessary, but not sufficient- otherwise Zuckerberg would have done the job himself.

    3. Rich 11 Silver badge

      Re: I'll do it

      I'm an absolute cunt

      I can vouch for that. You never taught me a damn thing about fly-fishing, after all those years of promises.

  4. Florida1920

    Facebook is going to be offensive?

    How will we notice the difference?

  5. stizzleswick

    Is having a Bacefook account one of the conditions?

    In that case, I'm not available.

    1. chivo243 Silver badge

      Re: Is having a Bacefook account one of the conditions?

      I'm also unavailable if I need myface account er spacebook or titter ad nauseum.

      I do, however, possess the personality they seek.

  6. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

    So, they are looking for an offensive penetration tester?

    1. Little Mouse

      Yes - to join their Crack Sniffing Team.

      1. lglethal Silver badge

        "Crack Sniffing Team"? That must be the Team led by Zucks, right?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Shirley Zuck's with the Backdoor Slurping Crew?

  7. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

    Changing the Shape of Future Super Travels ...... An IDiots Guide to EGO's Journeys

    Reinventing the likes of a CIA with dodgy special private forces and mercenary agents working out of, and in fields with Mega Metadata Mining Microsoft and Phished Facebook Head Quarters, is one small step for Man in a Live Operational Virtual Environment with times and spaces of alien quantum communications leaps.

    Do you think it will please or terrorise the Pentagon hacks and lackeys? Rabid Renegade Rogues Running Riot with Roving Rapid Reinforcements in Deployed Programs with Deep Cover and Dark Web Projects is surely practically akin to a Civil Independence War Declaration?

    Do you think it will be a simple turkey shoot at phish in a barrel? [A turkey shoot is an opportunity for an individual or a party to very easily take advantage of a situation.]

    Such are the questions to be answered when confronted and conflicted and hopelessly lost in the false media fields of fake news trails of today, and which are only telling you of the past, for the future is unknown to them only whenever it is unshown to them to report in retorts.

    Which would you prefer, whenever/if ever you be free and have a choice? To exist and live in the future or to struggle and fade away in the present and die in the past ? Only the one path has fantastic new destinations on offer, and all at the cost and for the price of freedom.

    This NEUKlearer HyperRadioProAcive ProMotion has been brought to you freely by Global Operating Devices ........ urPortal to Heavenly System Performance Stars.

    And there y'all were, probably not thinking the AIMarket was a thriving and writhing and a hustling and bustling 0day Vulnerability Export/Import Exploitation Space Centre for Systems Makers and Breakers/Project Program Wheeler-Dealers.

  8. GrapeBunch

    The kind of research that will earn teenagers a couple of years in the slammer, if done under the corporate aegis, will earn them respect and a handsome salary. What's not to like?

    1. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

      Carpe 0Diem

      Here's another aegis to consider unbelievably profitably for the brave hearted and less than lily livered and liveried , GrapeBunch ......

      amanfromMars …… trailing and trialing AIMajoring Meme Streams on

      “We need to have some way of encouraging visionary leadership in that area. People who can tell a story that brings people together from different factions and different religious groups into one nation. That’s what is missing.” ….. Boris Johnson

      Amen to that, Boris …. but you cannot encourage visionary leadership in a space with places lacking vital, virile, viral intelligence agents …. however, that is not to say that they cannot be encouraged/supplied into those virgin spaces and empty places. Usually such is just a simple/complex fiat currency purchase/virtual bank money transfer away. IT aint rocket science, is it, and surprisingly and easy ?

      And .... is such a mission/operation/project/program not within the remit of a Foreign Ministry , and the raison d'être of being a State Actor Foreign Secretary if it is not to be ceded Seeding Prime Non State Actor Territory? Or is that ideally a Joint Venturing Virtual Enterprise?

      RSVP .... for as all fools and their horses know, a vacuum encourages private pirate actions and sub-prime reactions as consequences ? :-) And aint that the gospel as evidenced by media in all of its spooky forms and alternative guises.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "... corporate aegis ... What's not to like?" The pizza tastes better when eaten in Mom and Dad's basement.

  9. clocKwize

    I've always said this - its a game of cat and mouse, someone finds and exploits a bug, then it gets fixed. The only way to get ahead is to pay some cats to do it for you. The kind of people who'd happily spend days searching for something to exploit or sit staring at thousands of lines of assembly code trying to find a weakness. The same kind of person who'll be doing it without your knowledge. This is a different kind of job than someone who secures your systems and networks against attack. Both are required

  10. Tom Paine

    T shirt

    Is that the BOFH t-shirt which, on the back, says "YOUR PC is broken an I'VE got a problem?" -- I've been hunting for those for years, any chance of a reissue?

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I would stereotype server engineers as steering their career away from client contact and therefore be socially inadept anyhow

  12. Annihilator

    "Both for cost savings and for privacy, [companies] like doing internal penetration testing"


    I was always taught not to dip your nib in the company ink.

  13. Terrance Brennan

    One of the (many) problems with Corporations

    "Another reason to hire security personnel with an affinity for offense, Paller suggested, is that putting security staff through hacking courses isn't worth the money."

    I do not know what it is like outside of the soon to be devastated Trumplandia, but, this has been a problem here in many industries for decades now. Companies do not want to actually train anyone; they want someone else to train their potential employees for them. This is also a self-fulfilling prophecy because why should company A spend time and money training someone if they will be poached once they are trained by companies B, C, or D? All these stalwarts of free enterprise want someone else to train their employees for them at no cost to themselves.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    On reflection

    From the other comments, I completely misinterpreted the news item. Since every national government has offensive capability, I thought this was an 'ad' that companies (some of which in economic terms are on the same scale as a country) have the same capabilities. Whether it's an ad-mission or ad-vertising, and whether it's a deterrent or part of the business model, those questions are irrelevant. For now.

    But it seems I'm quite wrong. The offensive capability is about penetration testing of the company's own product. The extension of "debugging" that we've seen since the beginning of computers, yea the beginning of industry. Ah so.

  15. Cynic_999

    Indigenous need not apply

    Ever since I read a poster in a police station advertising, "Asian man wanted for rape," I realised that all the good jobs get given to foreigners ...

  16. TeeCee Gold badge

    Facebook recruiting offensive people.

    This is news how exactly?

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Penetration Tester

    Sounds like the sort of job title you'd expect at a condom factory.

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