back to article Did Spotify hire Alan Partridge to run its Netflix-style video push?

Spotify’s strange lurch into creating TV shows grows even stranger. Amongst the highlights of original content is a lurid series on how music stars died. “From the PCP-fueled cannibalism of rapper Big Lurch to the murder-for-hire plot hatched by the singer of metal band As I Lay Dying, we’ll get the full story of how some of …


  1. AbelSoul

    Plank Floyd

    Members of the iconic band are filmed lying prone in exotic locations across the globe. Surviving members, of course, the others being already prone.

    Oh, and smell my cheese, etc...

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Monkey tennis...

    And yet Alan's other suggestions, like 'Cooking in Prison' and 'Youth hosteling with Chris Eubank' actually got made!

  3. bon_the_one

    Star Trukkin

    Cashing in on Peter Kay's Car Share, James Gordon's Carpool Karaoke and Top Gear's Star in a Reasonably Priced Car, I submit "Star Trukkin" (with many thanks to 'The Firm' for the theme.

    Celebrity truck driving across random parts of the planet. The Christmas Special is Clarkson, Hammond and May 'Star Trukkin' one of Musks vans up to the ISS..

    Thank you, I'll have all the BAFTAS now. :-)

    1. WraithCadmus

      Re: Star Trukkin

      "Oh cock... Jeremy?"


      "The circuit breaker for the arming switch has fallen into the panel"

      "Oh god have you bought another 60s junker?"

      "It's okay, I think I can prod it with a biro"

  4. Snivelling Wretch

    Oldfield's Old Fields

    A property developer tries to force through a planning application for a new housing estate on green belt land, while Mike Oldfield writes letters of objection and organises a village protest.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Same concept, van, packing lot, except.....

    me, baseball bat and Bonos head.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Bono, confined space, me with chainsaw...

    18+ obviously

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Olly Murs Penitentiary Special

    Olly Murs visits Americas most hostile prisons and attempts to show the vicious thugs the error of their ways though the uplifting words and melodies of his jaunty ballads.....and his anus.

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Swift on Swift

    where Taylor Swift migrates with some swifts

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

  9. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

    Elvis Easter Hunt

    Looking for the elusive King of Rock'n'Roll in and around the south's most revered Pentecostal churches.

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: Elvis Easter Hunt

      Looking for the elusive King of Rock'n'Roll in and around the south's most revered Fish'n'Chip Shops.


  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Robert Smiths real CUREs

    where Robert Smith of THE CURE assists in surgical operations in hospitals up and down the country.

  11. Alex Wilson

    Newsnight Cagefight... for once we forego the verbal sparring and just get down to business....

    I'd pay good money to see Ann Widicombe in a headlock.... maybe Hunt getting kicked in the....

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Tinie Tempahs, Tiny Temper

    where Tinie Tempah is put into high pressure situations and is stressed to braking point.

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: Tinie Tempahs, Tiny Temper

      braking point.? That ought to leave some impressive skid marks!

  13. Candy

    Rush Hours

    Members of the Canadian prog rock band are each teamed up with a Hong Kong cop in a race to solve improbable murders.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    PAYBACK! starring Simon Cowell

    where Simon Cowell is placed in the stocks and has rotten eggs thrown at him.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    where contestants have the chance to win big cash prizes by being able to tell which is a Zombie and which is a member of the popular skiffle group The Rolling Stones.

  16. Frumious Bandersnatch

    Have I got drugs for you?

    Following the lives of patients involved in double-blind clinical trials of new drugs. The spin is that we never know which ones are getting the placebo or which side effects are psychosomatic. Ha-HA!

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Usher on Usher

    where popular R&B sensation, Usher acts as a usher at peoples weddings up and down the country.

    1. Rich 11 Silver badge

      Fall of the House of Usher

      A spin-off from Usher on Usher, where Usher hastily attempts to renovate a derelict home before the newlyweds return from the honeymoon.

  18. Frumious Bandersnatch


    On the hunt for the storm petrel.

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Happy Mondays Happy Monday

    where Shawn Ryder and Bez entertain miserable commuters up and down the country on a Monday morning with their unique brand of manc humor and class A drugs.

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    LULU's LOOs

    where ageless pop vixen LULU, takes us on a tour of the toilets, at the venues shes performed at and tells us where she had her favorite Dump.

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Smashing pumpkins smashing pumpkin!

    where alternative rock sensations, Smashing Pumpkins, have to grow, from scratch, a prize winning pumpkin which is to be entered in a prestigious village fete.

    1. Mark 85 Silver badge

      Re: Smashing pumpkins smashing pumpkin!

      And here I thought Gallagher would be involved with a sledgehammer.

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    where Norwegian pop sensations A-Ha surprise unsuspecting members of the public by leaping out at them from behind parked cars.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Phil Collins apology roadtrip

    where eighties pop sensation, Phil Collins, travels around the country apologizing for.....well, everything really.

    1. Rich 11 Silver badge

      Re: Phil Collins apology roadtrip

      Except for that choc-advert gorilla. That was the only good thing Collins ever contributed to after 1980.

    2. khaggis

      Re: Phil Collins apology roadtrip

      Or Phil Collins' Genesis - Where Phil Collins spends 20 minutes playing a Sega Genesis games, and then reviews them. Instead of a numeric rating system, they could be based on their overall score in comparability to Phil Collins song's. The only draw back here would be all the games would have to be terrible, as there are no good Phil Collins songs'

  24. Deltics

    Dire Straits

    Where a startup media company comes up with ever more desperate initiatives to justify it's existence.

    Oh, wait. I see that one's been done already.

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    take that!, TAKE THAT

    where pop sensations TAKE THAT are bankrupted one by one by HMRC.

  26. NomNomNom

    Race Wars

    Quiz show in format of university challenge

    Each week each team representing a different race battles it out. Who will be crowned best race of 2016?

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    where members of the public win the chance to punch Bono, one time in the face.

  28. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Busta Rhymes, Nursery Rhymes

    Where the popular foul-mouthed rap sensation performs his versions of some of our most beloved childrens dittys on CBeebies.

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Here you go

    'Trump on a dump' - Presidential candidate Donald Trump explores regional dumps looking for items to sell to fund his campaign

    'The Price is Wright' - Katie Price undergoes radical gender realignment surgery to become reality TV star Mark Wright

    'Holmes under the hammer' - TV presenter Eamonn Holmes suffers weekly brutal assaults from ever increasing hammer sizes, starting with a tacking hammer all the way up to a massive automatic jackhammer

    'Judge Judy' - Judy Finnegan becomes the source of derision and ridicule every week as a member of the public points out all her flaws and failings

  30. This post has been deleted by its author

  31. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Save a Prayer

    where members of Duran Duran go brass rubbing in some of Englands finest churches.

  32. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Good Vibrations

    where members of The Beach Boys visit people with parkinsons

  33. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    New order

    where Peter Hook & Bernard Sumner bus tables in various American diners

  34. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Adele Smells

    where we follow UK cankle sensation, Adele, as she launches her new range of perfume.

  35. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    A crack team of elite British soldiers take on ever more challenging obstacles in home hardware store B&Q

  36. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    BLURred Vision

    where we interview random members of the public and ask them if they still blame Damon Albarn for 9/11

  37. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Little Mix Big mix

    where pop sensations Little Mix have to mix, pour and tamp down a major concrete footing on their own.

  38. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The Moodiest Blues

    where rock sensations, The Moody Blues, go round and comfort Zac Goldsmith (a very moody blue) over the fact he lost the mayoral election because hes a twat.

  39. BongoJoe


    In which the chirpy Gallagher brothers are dropped into the middle of the desert...

    ...and left there.

  40. Robin

    Badly Overdrawn Boy

    Each week Damon Gough from off of Badly Drawn Boy, tries to find a way to make his limited cash last him until he can sign on.

    Notes: could include twists like finding a crumpled fiver in his hat, or having to sell his hat, or something else hat-related.

  41. VinceH

    Is it just me, or does anyone else think some of the suggestions already offered fit right at home on Celebrity Juice?

    Anyway, here's my offering:

    Adam on the Ants: Adam Ant and his band have to sit on ants nests, to see who can last the longest.


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