back to article Apple's Tim Cook rocks up at Vatican - one week after Schmidt

The leader of one the world’s biggest religions was due to meet the pope today, leaving some Vatican watchers wondering if the pontiff has discovered a new form of Friday self-sacrifice. Apple Tim Cook was due at the Vatican around 11.30 local time for a 15 minute chinwag with Pope Francis. Cook’s visit comes hard on the heels …

  1. m0rt

    Awesome tagline. I glolled.

  2. Arctic fox
    Thumb Up

    "Leader of world's biggest religion meets the Pope"

    I realise that the more fundamentalist wing of the iFanbois will likely be hugely offended by that subheading but I laughed like a drain. Thumbs up for an extremely funny bit of "subbing".

    1. Bbbbit

      Re: "Leader of world's biggest religion meets the Pope"

      I am probably splitting hairs here but surely Apple is a cult rather than a religion as the Prophet they worship is still alive. Oh no wait a minute...

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: "Leader of world's biggest religion meets the Pope"

      As an iPhone owner since the 3gs days and Apple stockholder since before that I'm sure some here would consider me a member of that religion. However, since I laughed too I guess I wouldn't be considered a fundamentalist - that requires the additional ownership of a Macbook, iPad, iPod, and Watch.

      I have always said that if you wanted to end most of the world's wars and conflict, killing all the fundamentalists in all religions would be a good start. It would hurt the value of my stock, but not seeing mindless Android/Apple fanboi wars all over the damn internet would be worth the hit, as would the quick resolution to a good portion of the problems in the middle east.

    3. td97402

      Re: "Leader of world's biggest religion meets the Pope"

      I admit I do like my iPhone, iPad and Mac Mini as much as the next guy, though I doubt I rise to the level of religious belief in all things Apple. Still the article title is one of the better jabs at Apple and its fans that I have read in a while. Very funny.

  3. Bbbbit

    Fun fact!

    The Pope is allowed to eat beaver on a Friday. Story goes in days of yore a Pope was most aggrieved about his Friday menu choices so the Catholic church used their divine power to categorise beaver as a fish, presumably as it is in water a lot. No one else gave a dam. I have not checked this fact 'cos I cannot be bothered and too much scrutiny may ruin a good yarn and an opportunity for juvenile humour.

    1. Dave 126 Silver badge

      For anyone unsure if Bibbit was joking or not:

      1. Bbbbit

        Re: For anyone unsure if Bibbit was joking or not:

        Thanks Dave. Seems even a stopped clock can be right twice a day. I will concede that was it was a Bishop rather than a Pope that requested the change. I suppose that could be described as a clerical error. *Sigh*

    2. Arctic fox

      @Bbbit Re:"The Pope is allowed to eat beaver on a Friday"

      Even I as a British English speaker chocked on that one. How our compadres from the western side of the pond are likely to react beggers the imagination. The Pope is allowed to engage in oral sex once a week - are you serious?

    3. Bibbit

      Re: Fun fact!

      2 down votes? Was it the "dam" pun? Tough crowd...

    4. Peter Simpson 1

      Re: Fun fact!

      As others have already "gone there", I will take the higher road and congratulate you on exposing us all to an interesting bit of obscure canon law.

      // if it smells like fish...

    5. Roj Blake Silver badge

      Re: Fun fact!

      "No one else gave a dam"

      I see what you did there.

  4. g00se

    Papal endorsement

    Bookending such a pair of tech heavy weights has sparked much debate over what the Vatican is up to.

    Or what Tim (a better candidate for the appellation "Whore of Babylon") Cook is up to. Come on guys - follow the money!

  5. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    "If Larry Ellison turns up, it’s a cert."

    Surely Larry'll expect the Pope to visit him.

    1. Dave 126 Silver badge

      You're thinking of Bono.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It'll be Bill Gates next

    It's not for his teeth that his nickname is "Pearly".

  7. Anonymous Coward

    Pope Francis is about to launch a new Virtual Church called ...

    The Cloud of Unknowing.

    1. smartypants

      Re: Pope Francis is about to launch a new Virtual Church called ...

      If there's one thing religions don't do, it's not knowing about something.

      They have an answer for everything. All worked out. Simple!

      The trick is to believe this without actually reading the answers. I failed miserably*.

      (so much for religious education!)

  8. Paul Hovnanian Silver badge


    Those aren't Beats headphones the pope is wearing in that photo.

    1. Bibbit

      Re: Hey!

      The direct Word of God sounds immaculate no matter how poor the speakers.

      1. present_arms

        Re: Hey!

        Yeah, but he said they wasn't Beats, so the sound should be fine

  9. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

    amfM signing in @Vatican

    The Master Plot thickens ....... and matures, Monsignori, with AI Delivering Heavenly Future Guidance with Perfect Provision of Immaculate Bounty.

    Is not the Live Operational Virtual Environment where All IT is at? And all a'flounder in new magical fields ......... Gardens of Eden with Hanging Gardens of Babylon Plunder.:-) ..... and when for Real in AI is IT Perfectly Good to be Simply Great?

    Things are getting real interesting now, El Reg. I hope you are paying attention to the Long Range Plan of Plays to Play for Seamless Mass Transition to Otherly Worldly Peoples Control ........ in AIMasterly Command.

    I Kid U Not.


  10. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge

    New Apple HQ?

    Is there such a thing as a corporate tax in the Vatican City, and if so, is it less than the Irish corporate tax rate? If there is no such tax, even better!

    1. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

      Re: New Apple HQ? ..... with Futures Exploration and Exploitation LAN Deliveries to Deliver

      Such is the Sweetest of Divine Temptations and the Sweetest of Temptations to Divine and Remotely Administer Perfectly Enough, to be Well Worthy of Immaculate Bounty, any Heavenly Command and Earthy Control Program.

      :-) Ladies Access Free Gratis, of course. Hi, Ladies of CyberKnights. Wanna Play Perfectly Well Enough in Greater IntelAIgent Games Playing Networks. ITs AIDoing Global Operating Devices' Work for Relentless Play.

      Ladies and Gentlemen, that is an Open Offer Forever to Seize and Leap Ahead With into Leading Leads.

      You know IT makes Perfect Sense ..... to make a Quantum Communications Jump into Future Times and Virtualised Spaces with Pleasant Realised Places ....... Current Running Narrative Channels.

      1. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

        The Longer Great Game Plan is and are Arousing Rousing Performances to XSSXXXX

        Transparency Implementation Plan – Following release of the Principles, the Office of the Director of National Intelligence developed an Implementation Plan for the Principles, which was released in October 2015. The Plan puts forth an Intelligence Community-wide strategy of proactive transparency and provides specific initiatives for Intelligence Community elements to undertake in establishing sustainable transparency practices. ……

        Is this flight path one of their Experimental Expeditionary Missions in Stealthy Operations Servering Future Provenance ...... with Cosmic Fuel :-) ?

        Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) – The Office of the Director of National Intelligence is participating in the Administration’s Proactive Disclosure pilot program. ...

  11. Tail Up

    (-: Isn't IT all about what is coming soon, dear Awesome Missionary Fellows Messenger pathfinders/icebreakers? Luck and Pure Chance Order make good Friends in this QUniverse, the GOD's Mother... why just anyone near not visit Frank, while the Seat is as busy as a Fiddle for the Flow?

    Let's C :-)

    1. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

      Any Advance on What Is where IT Is @Heaven

      Dark Web Enterprise IS Rebuilding Systems forthwith with and for Practically Perfect Virtual AIMachinery ........ Immaculately Conceived QBots

      Do Quantum Robots Rule the Universal Roost or merely play with work for IT Anonymously ........ Real Spooky Internetworking of Things Stuff.

      1. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

        Re: Any Advance on What Is where IT Is @Heaven

        RSVP Alsjeblieft ....... rather than Holding One's Peace

        1. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

          Re: Re: Any Advance on What Is where IT Is @Heaven

          Ok ...... so when the silence is deafening, does that indicate an abounding ignorance of what is designed for the future before you? And therefore there being no real or imagined effective defence against its product placement and virtual realisation?

          Methinks it does .... and that allows for something of a monopoly situation for some exploring and exploiting and expanding the field.

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