back to article Sly peers attempt to thrust hated Snoopers' Charter into counter-terror and security bill

Britain's ISPs have attacked sneaky, proposed amendments to the Counter-Terrorism and Security Bill that were tabled by four peers in Parliament this week – as they mounted an attempt to resurrect the Snoopers' Charter. Home Secretary Theresa May's draft Communications Data Bill was rejected by politicos in 2012, however, the …

  1. Elmer Phud
    Mushroom

    Dear Mr Cameron

    I am far more afraid of what you buggers might get up to than I am of terroists.

    I fart in your general direction!

  2. Will Godfrey Silver badge
    Unhappy

    No Surprise

    Did anyone actually think they would not use the first available atrocity as an excuse to force this through.

    Bastards. The lot of them.

  3. John H Woods Silver badge

    Here comes defeat ...

    ... not only in the long term moral sense of 'defending our way of life by throwing it away' but also in the tactical sense of enabling teenage basement-dwelling jihadi-wannabes to entirely paralyse the security services simply by generating false leads --- without having to do anything remotely approaching the level of donning a vest.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I thought these weasel-licking dickbags were supposed to be on our side.

    1. phuzz Silver badge
      Joke

      You missed off the joke icon mate because surely you can't have been serious >>>>>>

    2. earl grey Silver badge
      Trollface

      correction

      I think you meant to say dickbag licking weasels; and frankly, the weasels are insulted.

  5. Down not across

    The whole fast-track process is flawed

    There should be no need to fast-track anything. No legislation should be passed without adequate scrutiny.

    ...not that the scrutiny necessarily makes any difference with the weasels involved.

    1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

      Re: The whole fast-track process is flawed

      Our supreme leader went one better. His party now simply rolls all "interesting" legislation into the budget, on the grounds that if government money is being spent it is a budget matter. His back benchers have a simple choice of approve everything with no discussion or vote down the budget and force an election.

      He also invented the clever trick of starting the holidays early everytime an opposition MP gets up t speak.

      1. Mark 85 Silver badge

        Re: The whole fast-track process is flawed

        Until you got to the last paragraph and used "MP", I wasn't sure which "supreme leader" you were talking about. I now realize it was your "supreme leader" and not ours. I guess it doesn't matter which side of the pond there on, all weasels come from the same family tree*

        *It seems to be a straight line..

        1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

          Re: The whole fast-track process is flawed

          We do have supreme leaders on this side of the pond and MPs.

          We also have MPs that are happy to be in parliament while demanding that their bit of the country should be another country. Our supreme leader also talks to God, will do anything the oil companies tell him and loves following the US into wars in the middle east.

          We also have the Queen on our money - but our money is plastic

          1. Adrian 4 Silver badge

            Re: The whole fast-track process is flawed

            We don't have supreme leaders here, except sarcastically. We have public servants, and the ultimate servant - the bottom of the heap - is Cameron.

            Never let them forget it.

          2. John Tserkezis

            Re: The whole fast-track process is flawed

            "We also have MPs that are happy to be in parliament while demanding that their bit of the country should be another country. Our supreme leader also talks to God, will do anything the oil companies tell him and loves following the US into wars in the middle east"

            We have MPs like that too!

            They must be breeding - Hey! Who let them breed?!

            1. Mark 85 Silver badge

              Re: The whole fast-track process is flawed

              You can't stop them from breeding. They're like gerbils but without the cuteness.

  6. Nick Kew

    Blair's Chief Henchman

    It seems The Great Liar's chief henchman - also called Blair - has been elevated to Their Lordships and is now pursuing the Blair-Blair Police State agenda from there.

    That they appear to have Cameron and May on board is all the more worrying. Let's hope an alliance of old-fashioned (individual freedoms and responsibilities) Conservatives and Libdems can hold out for what remains of our Enlightenment values.

    1. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

      Re: Blair's Chief Henchman

      It seems The Great Liar's chief henchman - also called Blair - has been elevated to Their Lordships and is now pursuing the Blair-Blair Police State agenda from there.

      That they appear to have Cameron and May on board is all the more worrying. Let's hope an alliance of old-fashioned (individual freedoms and responsibilities) Conservatives and Libdems can hold out for what remains of our Enlightenment values. .... Nick Kew

      For arrogant and ignorant wannabe fascist type leading regimes, are the hopes of old fashioned alliances, the least of their worries, Nick Kew, whenever Invisible Smarter Intelligence Services take over Media and IT, Computers and Communications and Servers for Futures Delivery with Cloud Options and Derivative Hedges ....... for Ab Fab Fabless Immaculate Variety :-) ......... Greater IntelAIgents Game On and Up Running Riotous Acts as a Matter of Fact in AI Fiction?

      Surely you are not expecting the future to be anything at all like the present and pasts whenever knowledge was limited and held secret and sacred? That would be a madness.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Blair's Chief Henchman

      "Let's hope an alliance of old-fashioned (individual freedoms and responsibilities) Conservatives and Libdems can hold out for what remains of our Enlightenment values."

      'Cos it's worked so well so far, innit.

      When's November 5th this year?

      1. Bloodbeastterror

        Re: Blair's Chief Henchman

        Anon C,

        Your last comment, in the current atmosphere where the most innocent obvious joke (remember Robin Hood airport?) can cause someone to be thrown in jail and lose his job, is a bit risky, no...?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Blair's Chief Henchman

          I think that you may be a little too terrorised there, Bloodbeastterror. The Robin Hood guy said "I am going to blow up the airport". A clear statement of intent. Now it was obviously a joke to all but a few of the more gullible lower primates and at least one judge; but it was a statement of intent nevertheless.

          AC's comment wasn't that; nor could it be said that it was specific enough to be an incitement to riot.

          That's not to say that some caution shouldn't be exercised. For example; when I was recently discussing assaulting Teresa May and Cameron with fish, I was very careful to phrase it that it makes me feel like going over there with a fish you can get a good swing with. Which it absolutely does; but there is a marked difference between the emotions caused in me every time they open their stupid, stupid faces and a physical act. So "I am going to" statements should be applied with caution, but I believe that we're still free to point out that our leaders are clueless dipsticks who are unfit to be making any IT-related decisions.

          1. This post has been deleted by its author

  7. Tom 35

    Sign here

    No need to read it, because terrorists.

    IF you don't sign you support terrorists.

  8. Christoph
    Big Brother

    Nothing to do with terrorism

    We want to have and use every technically possible means of spying on the population, without limit.

    What was this week's excuse for needing it, again?

    1. VinceH

      Re: Nothing to do with terrorism

      "What was this week's excuse for needing it, again?"

      Someone breathed.

  9. Warm Braw Silver badge

    This explains the hasty trips to Saudi Arabia

    Cameron, Obama, et al, are clearly keen to learn from professional despots.

  10. Christian Berger

    We need to make clear...

    ...that a modern society needs computers and data networks to be free and democratic. Spying on people on a massive scale only turns your society into one of the worst kinds of dictatures. Since people use IT systems as an extensions to their brains, just like they already did for ages with books and pen an paper, controlling IT systems means controlling the people. If you censor the Internet, you censor peoples thoughts. Suddenly there are ideas that cannot get through to them. Furthermore with widespread surveillance you can find out what your populous is thinking, you can use that to oppress opposition rather easily.

    We must stop this now peacefully, before it has reached a level where people start to think that violence is necessary.

    1. Grikath

      Re: We need to make clear...

      oh, when it comes the the US/GB/Aus it's already gone way past that point...

      The only hope we have is that their rotting carcasses won't poison the surroundings too much.

    2. Teiwaz Silver badge

      Re: We need to make clear...

      I think the politicos are panicing. They don't really understand how the world has changed in subtle ways and they are threatened by these changes. Odd, really, they are usually quick enough to adapt to any situation that wil give them the opportunity to acquire more money or another house at the taxpayers expense. It's probably a deficency in the the public school system.

      The bubbling pot of resentment over injusitices or inequalities real or perceived is always there. Unwise or badly expressed sentiment just makes it spit and seethe for a while and the hob will need a wipe, but it doesn't take more than a few badly thought out actions for it to boil over and ruin the stew.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Unhappy

    British Democracy

    800 years since Magna Carta.

    750 years since the first Westminster Parliament.

    0 years since they pissed it all away.

    It's rather depressing how it has all come to naught. Snatched/given away by corrupt fools.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: British Democracy

      800 years since Magna Carta.

      Magna Carta is overrated. It was designed to give more power to the barons, the military-industrial complex of mediaeval England. Plus ça change.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: British Democracy

        Overrated? Maybe, but it is a lot more than simply a Baronial power-grab. It goes to great detail on how people are to be treated fairly, down to levels well below 'Baron'.

        The way I look at it, the Magna Carta primarily constrains the King's power and gives more power to the Barons, but they themselves have to abide by the thing, and that means their powers to abuse those below them are similarly constrained.

        As a start I think it is pretty good.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: British Democracy

      The current crop of expletive deleted MPs are only interested creating a Totalitarian Democracy.

      Vote Conservative or Labour and they'll claim they have the democratic mandate of the electorate to do whatever they want. Zero tolerance for any freedoms. Treasonous May is just itching to abolish human rights legislation at the first opportunity. Surprised they didn't sneak that in as well.

      War on terror? War on the public more like.

      If you're not with them, you're against them and all that !?$%

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: The War Against Terror

        It's not the war on terror, it's The War Against Terror.

  12. streaky

    The Hilarity..

    .. is this junk isn't what Cameron and May are saying the security services need to "do their job" and save the children from ASBO-wielding nutjobs (yeah seriously - ASBOs) who can apparently piss off to Syria and come back when they like (so what's the point again?).

    Seems to me that the security services always know full well who these people are whenever something happens but simultaneously refuse to crawl up inside every available orifice of the same people - they're far more interested in what you're doing on facebook.

    the incident culminated in an attack on two members of the public who were beaten to the floor, punched, kicked and struck with wooden placards

    Me or you would go to jail for this shit.

    How can we have got our system so wrong? Is it just the boomers after more tory rape-the-country-finances pork that let these clowns slip in or what?

    1. Mark 85 Silver badge

      Re: The Hilarity..

      How can we have got our system so wrong? Is it just the boomers after more tory rape-the-country-finances pork that let these clowns slip in or what?

      It's political correctness running amok, which is always the case with PC. Moreso here because there's a the mindset that:

      a) We can talk to them, share feelings, and it will all sort out.

      b) If we stand up to them, they kill us or worse so we'll pretend to do something else... like "think of the children, let's find the paedos."

      PC never, ever gets any results or anything accomplished. It just gives the practitioners of it a warm, fuzzy feeling while the rest of us are prevented from fixing or solving any problems.

    2. streaky

      Re: The Hilarity..

      Commenting on my own post here.

      Me or you would go to jail for this shit.

      Because it looks like a prima facie case of GBH. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grievous_bodily_harm#Specific_intent - actually it sounds like religiously aggravated GBH which is up to 7 years in jail so...

  13. Tommy Pock

    This is what the extra surveillance is for. And you thought it was for terrorism. link

    1. Ben Tasker Silver badge

      Feckin hell, I had to double check that wasn't on The Onion.

      That's a pretty big leap in utility from a system sold as being used for detecting terrorists. Can't say I'm surprised to see Council Tax listed as one of the things they'll stop you leaving the country for, given they already charge you council tax for the period that you're in prison for failing to pay said council tax....

      1. Roo
        Windows

        " Can't say I'm surprised to see Council Tax listed as one of the things they'll stop you leaving the country for, given they already charge you council tax for the period that you're in prison for failing to pay said council tax...."

        I suspect an awful lot of old money would get clobbered by that process if it were to be applied universally, and I have no doubt that there will be a number of people who get have their travel restricted due to an administrative error or good old fashioned fraud... I suggest you hunt for an old school tie in your local charity shop before setting out for the airport. ;)

        If this policy is administered badly enough the only people left in this country will be the poor & fraudsters...

        1. Tommy Pock

          Can you see Lagarde or Lord Rothschild going through customs checks before getting on a private jet?

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Re: British Democracy

    I sometimes wonder if history would have been very different if Fawkes had succeeded spectactularly.

    Here's hoping a sizeable fragment of 2004 BL86 impacts 10 Downing Street tomorrow and "takes out the garbage" so to speak.

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