back to article For the love of Bong! He's Chief Contract Killer Evangelist... for WHAT NOW?

We're in one of those phases of the tech biz where imitation equals innovation, if you add excremental incremental changes and a personable plonker to spokesperson The Coming Revolution. Having lived through this once before, this scribe can't work up a good hype-cycle over boilerplate “innovation”. It's colour-by-numbers …

  1. phuzz Silver badge

    Surely the perk of working for a killer-contracting company is that you can have journalists who ask annoying questions like "is the legal?", answered . With extreme prejudice.

  2. Flocke Kroes Silver badge

    Targeted Advertising

    Today is your day to die!! Have you put your affairs in order? Click here for lawyers ready to write up your will this morning!! Why not take a break for your final meal at one of our sponsors? Do you have a message for the person who hired your hitman? Say it with flowers. Don't forget to cancel that dinner appointment!!

  3. Frankee Llonnygog

    Please fund my invasion of Europe

    I want to be the Uber of Alles.

    (I apologise for my momentary, lifelong, lapse of taste)

  4. Denarius
    Thumb Up

    A really bad week ?

    My commiserations on what must have been a truly awful week. Being a lowly tech in the trenches means the PHB and sales weasel class rarely go near us, sparing the IT staff the ungentle shower of lies and misrepresentation. Well done on a classy rant.

  5. ecofeco Silver badge

    Nailed it

    Let no one mistake this article for analogy. It is EXACTLY like that.

  6. Solmyr ibn Wali Barad

    Brilliant, just bloody brilliant.

    Seems that reports of the demise of the art of writing were greatly exaggerated.

    1. Tail Up

      Re: Brilliant, just bloody brilliant.

      Hi Pete, I see you're doing fine.

      Just scrolled the page up to make sure it's not a BOFH corner.

  7. VinceLortho

    Spot on parody

    of the QNX 2000 conference where I attempted to interview a evangelist who earlier was trying to convince a room full of people that the future was terminals attached to mainframes BUT through the Internetwebthingy (INNOVATION!). To be fair it was basically like a Chromebook and cloud setup and a good concept but year 2000 was without the speed, capacity, security, or most of basic infrastructure needed (my points) . Except for the hired killer part, the discourse was very similar.

  8. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

    IT is EXACTLY like this.

    Hi, Richard [Chirgwin],

    With particular and peculiar regard to the contention and proposition that, as in the answer and case of Dread Pirate Roberts, what is needed is to go back to first principles and build a platform which, from the ground up, made introducing contract killers to their victims a cloud-based, API-enabled hyper-connected IPv6-compliant, encrypted and anonymised experience, is such not as how it always turns out, for it is quite remarkably different and only quite recently made simply possible with intelligence sharing and technology leaps.

    That be both incredibly novel and enigmatically disruptive and creatively constructive all at the same time in communicating spaces and virtualised places. And whenever a current phenomenon, quite a national security nightmare from which there be no early and easy awakening for forces intellectually challenged to provide security and freedom from oppression with what is needed rather than with what is being seeded.

    In certain present expanding circles is such the currency for progress and prosperity, revolution and changed reality with virtual realities ….. AI and Virtual Machines in Creative Command and CyberSpace Control of Communications and Computers. And a little something extra special in HyperRadioProActive AIDevelopment for the next millennium, El Reg.

    1. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

      Re: IT is EXACTLY like this .... and 2015 is gonna be fun with Spooky AI into IT and Great Game Play

      Happy New Year, ….. but are you suckered ……. and happy and/or stupid enough to not want or be able and enabled to do anything to rectify the situation and fundamentally change the commanding control dynamic? Be honest with yourself, please, for one only fools oneself with a false answer …….

      “The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country. …We are governed, our minds are molded, our tastes formed, our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of. This is a logical result of the way in which our democratic society is organized. Vast numbers of human beings must cooperate in this manner if they are to live together as a smoothly functioning society. …In almost every act of our daily lives, whether in the sphere of politics or business, in our social conduct or our ethical thinking, we are dominated by the relatively small number of persons…who understand the mental processes and social patterns of the masses. It is they who pull the wires which control the public mind.”

      Edward Bernays – Propaganda – 1928

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