back to article LOHAN acquires aircraft arboreal avoidance algorithm acronyms

We invite readers to raise a glass or two today to autopilot wrangler Linus Penzlien, who touched down in Spain yesterday afternoon ahead of an intensive week of Vulture 2 spaceplane Pixhawk custom parameter programming and testing. And here is the man himself meeting local lass Ruperta this morning ahead of an intensive …


  1. joeW

    Digital Impact Limitation for Deciduous Obstacles

  2. Marcus Aurelius

    I don't mean to be critical but

    As far as I can tell the earliest LOHAN proposals date from 2011. Couldn't you get a real lander on the moon in this sort of timeframe?

  3. Ben Bonsall

    Truss In Tree Will Always Necessitate Krane. :(

  4. Simon Rockman

    It's not just LOHAN

    Trees attract kites too. I used to work in a kite shop and saw a number of mangled kites on a regular basis.

    1. GrumpyOF

      Re: It's not just LOHAN

      I am sure that something from Peanuts is applicable here:

  5. ukgnome

    Bypass Arbour Protective System

  6. Anomalous Cowturd

    BRASTRAP and...

    Penzlien's Automated Nearby Tree Intelligent Evasion System.

    1. Anomalous Cowturd

      Re: BRASTRAP and...

      Near Instantaneous Patent Pending Limb Evasion System...

    2. Ben Bonsall

      Re: BRASTRAP and...

      After it fails to spot something and gets updated, it can be called

      Newly Optimized PANTIES

      or even

      PANTI Extended Location/Evasion/Swerving System

  7. GregC

    Not necessarily on a LOHAN theme...

    ...but in honour of a much loved TV show that I've just been watching again

    Imminent Tree Collision Remediation On Woodland Detection

  8. lawndart


    As my last attempt at an acronym resulted with being mentioned in despatches for rudeness I offer


    Lohan Arborial Repulsion Code Hack.

    Presumably Ruperta converts everything into assembly language?

    1. AdamT

      Re: offers:

      +1 for (The) LARCH

      minor modification?

      Lohan Arborial Repulsion Coded Heuristic

      and of course it has to have a function called HowToRecogniseATreeFromQuiteALongWayAway(...)

  9. Miss Config

    LINUS Penzlien ?

    Just to be 100% clear his name is NOT Linux.

  10. Barely registers


    Gets Out The Way Of Obstructive Deciduousness.


  11. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

    I wouldn't have hoped that any modern flying vehicle would be equipped with a

    Reinforced Arboreal Detection And Repulsion system.

    Sorry, I know it's polite, but I'm in work...

  12. dotdavid

    In the spirit of sowing confusion about El Reg's spaceplane projects...

    Professional Arboreal Reverse Interception System

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Between the Obstacles Navigation Kit

  14. Dr. Mouse

    Oi Loikes, ARMADILLOs!

  15. Paul_Murphy

    My suggestions so far

    Safe Landing Under Trees System

    High Altitude Rentry Detect Correct Or Reject Emergency Software EXample

    Careful And Methodical Extraneous Local Tree Observation Engine

    1. Ugotta B. Kiddingme

      Re: My suggestions so far

      +1 for CAMELTOE

      1. Terrence Bayrock

        Re: My suggestions so far

        +2 for CAMELTOE

  16. lawndart


    Small Program Usually Reduces Tree Impacts Near Ground

  17. Come to the Dark Side

    Seeing as it's "under the skirts" of LOHAN...

    Trees and Woodland Avoidance Technology

    1. Pet Peeve

      Rude, yet perfect.

  18. Hans Neeson-Bumpsadese Silver badge

    Tree Impending Time To Impact Evaluation System

    to be partnered with Branch Entry Evasion Rig

  19. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge


    In the spirit of the plucky Playmonaut's thought processes in those last few metres:

    ¡Automated Yet Comprehensive Arboreal Recognition And Magnetic Branch Avoidance!

    ¡Ay Caramba!

  20. Anonymous Cowerd


    Tree Avoidance Survival Kit

    Not very racy, I know.

  21. Ben Bonsall

    Leaf And Branch Incursion Avoidance

  22. VinceH

    Arboreal Recognition and Evasion System.

    Yes, I know the E and S are the wrong way around. It's Monday, and I'm still tired.

    Arboreal Recognition and System for Evasion just doesn't quite work.

    1. Soap Distant

      VinceH I think we got hit by the same inspiration particle!

      1. richardcox13
        Thumb Up

        > VinceH I think we got hit by the same inspiration particle!

        Clearly some form of particle cloning going on, because it seems to be bouncing around here as well!

        However, in proper abbreviation creation mode I reverse the last two words:

        Arboreal Recognition System for Evasion.

    2. Marcus Aurelius

      Arboreal Recognition System for Evasion does though...

      As long as we know our ARSE from our ELBOW

    3. Dr. Mouse

      Yes, I know the E and S are the wrong way around.

      "Arboreal Recognition System for Evasion" works

  23. Soap Distant


    Arboreal Reconnaisance and Survival Engine


  24. Colin Miller

    The Advanced Recognisance and Avoidance Pattern for Trees - aka Tara P-T (Palmer-Tomkinson)

  25. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

    In all this ar(se)boreal excitment....

    ...I do hope the ELBOW, Evasion of Large Body Of Water hasn't been forgotten.

    RiP Playmonaut hero.

  26. lawndart

    says (again)

    Lohan Upgrade Spots Trees

    Re-entry Utility Program Enables Rapid Tree Avoidance

    Geomagnetic Tree Avoidance Variant (Laurel, Ash, Chestnut, Elm, Yew, Juniper, Oak, Now As Standard)

    Magnetic Anomaly Detector Brings Inspired Tree Collision Hack.

  27. Anonymous Cowerd

    Branch Avoidance Positional System

  28. Kevin Johnston

    Whatever the final name,

    just keep taking the Tree/Air Boundary Location/Evasion Tactics

  29. TRT Silver badge

    How about...

    Dendrifugion Routine (Autonomous Guidance)

    Part of the

    Flight Library (Autonomous Guidance) System


    Soft Landing (Autonomous Guidance)

    Ballocket Launch (Autonomous Guidance)

  30. breakfast Silver badge

    Nominative determinism

    Would PARIS have even had that name if it wasn't for a strong relationship with wood? Perhaps some things are so utterly inevitable there is no point fighting them.

    Failing that:

    Collision Rerouting Autopilot System Heuristic

    Ballocket Undercarriage Safety Harness

  31. paulc










  32. Zash

    TITS: To Improve Tree Shirking

  33. Mike Moyle


    Nowt Up Trees System

  34. mike2R


    Airborne Realtime Emergency Orthogonal Log Avoidance

  35. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward







  36. TRT Silver badge




    Inclusion for



  37. Captain DaFt


    Technical Avionics Tree Avoidance System

  38. startrex

    STARS - Steer True and Return Safe

  39. Farmer Fred

    A bit weak, but...









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